This is a confession on your part.You have no righteousness.
Zero, unless God gives you "the Gift of Righteousness".
But as you insulted God's Righteousness as "Whipping Boy" nonsense, then you have an issue that isn't going to be solved by talking about your phony righteousness and self effort, that is pretending to be, righteousness.
If there is an inner man somewhere inside that twisted flesh of yours...it would say...
"Epi, you are right. Everything I feel about my own flesh is being twisted around and comes out as an accusation of the people who are just trying to help me with my outer man! But I'm so weak and this albatross of flesh is weighing me down."
My response to your poor forsaken inner man is...
OK I'll pray for you! Be strong and have faith. God can crucify that flesh part of you and free you to love as Jesus loved.
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