I get what you are saying. But still…I don’t know why or if it’s from God the desire to be loved or accepted within the body. I think yea. I wonder if Paul felt it too. When he intreated them to not harden their hearts but to open their hearts door. Can you tell when the door shuts, slams shut on you so you won’t enter into that hardened heart? 2 Timothy 2:3 You therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
Maybe that’s why Paul rejoiced when God opened a door. there is a longing to enter. In some ways I think God places that desire to enter unto hearts, calling to people to open, knocking. As He said “I stand outside knocking.” Paul knocked on hearts, they are telling Paul to prove Christ speaks in Paul. See, hear…Paul carried the Spirit of Christ and Christ knocked and way too many times besieged, cried even for others to open their hearts for the Spirit to come in. Is it wrong too be long-suffering, to be cared for or accepted or valued or to go unto others?
There is an angst as we see the religious leaders…did they really want to enter any hearts except to keep others out?
but Paul …I read often how much He longed to receive word …their acceptance encouragement. Their welcome refreshing. Sorry…just thinking out loud. To me it would be lying to say everyone has gotten over caring what others think or no longer caring to be acceptable. For some reason there is a strong longing in us to belong somewhere and to be accepted. Even in a crowd of men …they too all want to be accepted. Why do they talk so fast and don’t even hear anyone sitting on the edge? Because they want desperately to impress one another. They may say “not at all.” But they too want to prove something. They too long to belong. My husband and I are the same. I know he has the same weakness and longings I have of at the end of the day..his needing to be loved. We can say whatever we want but (Imo) if epi does do what others say in patting himself on his back it’s to be loved and accepted. And then the others come needing the same dang thing. Everyone going around and around in circles for a place to belong and at each other over doctrines. There isn’t a single one of us that isn’t displaying wanting to be accepted or loved. you included Lizabeth. It’s in our very nature to need love. I’m not talking about the religious leaders kind of love …I mean the desiring “a body” “a permanent structure” “not of this world” …you don’t desire going solo.
We all have our issues and I don't think it's sin to "want" love and acceptance for our own sake, it is in the nature of our humanity, but we can die out to "needing" it and living for it. And love for others can make one want or long to be with them, in fellowship or in communication with them etc...that is not sin. I don't see Paul as being self-seeking, and it is also possible to want to be accepted for righteousness sake, simple justice, or for the sake of the other that they not do wrong or reject what is good for them.. Jesus had no place to lay His head in this life....that can be like us when we have no fellowship and no "church home".
When I complained to the Lord about being alone in my faith, He right away opened the scripture to me "When I called Abraham I called Him alone." It wasn't what I wanted to hear...but I needed to learn that His grace is sufficient..........that HE is sufficient. We are on a journey of losing our earthly/fleshly/worldly fountains (sources) and learning to have "all our fountains in Him"...everything we truly need coming from our relationship with the Lord. Painful like a bed of nails, until we die out to those "needs" one by one.....that's why the wilderness is so dry, it is like our old natural man is being starved and parched to death (on purpose).....in the meantime it is the fellowship of His sufferings.
You know, I think the essence of love is being "known" - being seen and heard and understood and accepted warts and all......that is the inner longing everyone has that no person or persons on earth can fulfill, but truly only God can.......and that is why when the perfect comes it will be "then we will know even as we are fully known"....that is perfect love, I believe.
