Strength and Honor: Triumphing over Feminism

[Mink57]

Are the guns still in your possession?

No. They were hubs guns before marriage. Gave his mom 'custody' of the weapons.

My ex-wife was a good shot. I got her a 9 mm Browning handgun one year during our marriage. Fits in your hand like a dream.

Wasn't that considered to be a 'ladies handgun' because of how well it fits 'her' hand?

I kept all the guns after the divorce; not by agreement just by habit as I kept all the guns together. (Our divorce agreement never touched on this subject and it was on neither of our minds.) Anyway, about a year after the divorce she called me one night obviously shaken. She had been getting some crank calls in the middle of the night.

I have little doubt that part of her suspected it could be me and called to also gage my reaction. I was supportive and sympathetic and reminded her that I had her gun. I asked her if she wanted it. As I recall (more than 20 years ago now), I did more than ask. I advised her to take it AND keep it loaded for home defense. I told her I don't know who this crazy guy is but I don't want the mother of my children in danger.

I think the fact that I thought of her as still occupying a place of honor in my life reassured her. (Some cognitive dissonance also of the great guy she married and the a-hole who divorced her). Part of her also hoped that I would be the knight in shinning armor coming to rescue the damsel in distress; a ploy to get my attention and re-establish my affection. That did not happen.

Side Note. Her cognitive dissonance was apparent during the separation stage, making it abundantly clear she was very willing to forgive me for what she did wrong ... if only she had a smidgen of a capacity to have emotional responsibility. Oh well. Leaving that feminist poisoned women was the most important decision I made in my life.

Very commendable of you. I'm impressed. Not saying that she deserves that place of honor, but the idea that you gave it to her anyway speaks a lot of your character.

 

[Wrangler]

Wasn't that considered to be a 'ladies handgun' because of how well it fits 'her' hand?

I don’t know. I was referring to my hand.

She made a great choice in what gun to get. I just financed the transaction.

 

[Mink57]

Any rational person knows this is true. Retirement is not as stressful as not being retired. That’s why people generally look forward to it.

Oh really?! Once again, you're lumping ALL retired people into ONE category and ALL non-retired people into another.

Stress is personal. What stresses out one person may not have the same effect on another. Factors such as finances and health will either contribute to someone's stress-free retirement or make retirement MORE stressful.

One size does NOT fit all.

Some people are mentally ill. Foolish to base a world view on exceptions rather than general rules.

You mean...kind of like, what YOU'R doing?

It certainly is not merely @Wynona’s experience but an objective mind properly identifying reality. She mentioned status as a reason people work out if the home. That is certainly my wife’s foolish choice as I shared.

That may be ONE reason, but certainly not the ONLY reason or even the most IMPORTANT reason. Many women are already established in their careers and enjoy their jobs before becoming wives and mothers. And, they actually enjoy their jobs!

She didn’t want to sacrifice (a car) for a much more relaxing life. Yet, she occasionally laments having to work. Another example of the evil of feminism; encouraging women not to settle and the allure of having it all AS IF a feminist can have their cake and it it too.

Have you ever NOT had a car before while married? I don't mean for a day or two, I mean for years.

Thing is that there are so many people willing to criticize others...UNTIL they're in the same position themselves.

 

[Mink57]

I don’t know. I was referring to my hand.

She made a great choice in what gun to get. I just financed the transaction.

My comment wasn't meant to be an insult, by the way. I have this vague recollection of being at a gun show years ago in Los Angeles, picking up a silver 9mm and hearing the retailer refer to it as a "ladies handgun" because of how comfortable most women found the grip to fit their hand(s). Can't recall if it was a Browning. Supposedly very popular in the early-mid 80's.

 

[Wrangler]

My comment wasn't meant to be an insult, by the way. I have this vague recollection of being at a gun show years ago in Los Angeles, picking up a silver 9mm and hearing the retailer refer to it as a "ladies handgun" because of how comfortable most women found the grip to fit their hand(s). Can't recall if it was a Browning. Supposedly very popular in the early-mid 80's.

I got my .357 at one store, where I got all my supplies. After going to a gun show, I took my wife to a vendor at the gun show. My usual store did not even have that gun as an option.

If she didn’t want that gun, I would have bought it myself. I shot it often even when she did not acccompany me to the range.

 

[Wrangler]

Very commendable of you. I'm impressed. Not saying that she deserves that place of honor, but the idea that you gave it to her anyway speaks a lot of your character.

Thank you!

I don’t hate my ex-wife. I moved forward with divorce before it got to that point.

There is a book called Only Love Is Real. That is, love is the only abiding memory. I experienced that at my sisters wedding. A guy the groom invited was my old track buddy. We spent a good deal of the night catching up.

He invited me to reach out to him when I was in town (I lived out of State). I confessed that I do not recall why we stopped hanging out.

It’s the same with my 1st gf, who I had planned to marry and my 1st wife. The negativity fades into oblivion. I will always love the people that I love. Even those who passed on in death or life.

Fact is, my 1st wife is the only person I created life with and I will always honor that in the extreme. That we ended up going our separate ways is besides the point.

 

[Mink57]

I got my .357 at one store, where I got all my supplies. After going to a gun show, I took my wife to a vendor at the gun show. My usual store did not even have that gun as an option.

If she didn’t want that gun, I would have bought it myself. I shot it often even when she did not acccompany me to the range.

I dated a cop for a few months back in the late 70's. He came over to the house, and got to talking with my grandfather. My grandfather was asking all kinds of questions about his service REVOLVER (!). Boyfriend took out the gun, unloaded it, made sure it was safe and handed it to my grandfather. It was the first time I had ever seen a gun "up close and personal."

All I kept thinking was, "A REVOLVER? For a COP?? When MOST of the criminals out there are using automatics???"

WHY?!

Just baffled me. It actually took that particular police department several more years to change their policy and start issuing automatics.

 

[MA2444]

I don't own any guns. My late hubs owned the guns. Let's see...I know he own a .22 rifle, and I think it was a Ruger...He also owned a Colt .45 (recoil almost tore my arm off the first time I shot!) ...a S&W .357 revolver...a Walther P38 (I think)...plus, he owned a handgun with the grip carved out of wood...for a left handed shooter (he was right handed). He bought that as a collector's piece, not for home protection, lol!

You...you dont own a gun? Oh I had took the assumption that you did have (at least) one.
You are in Violation of the First Rule of Gunfighting!

Not the 4 or 5 safety rules, the first rule of gunfighting.

Gunfighting.

1. Have a gun that is yours and yours alone.

You could be the best shooter in the world, but if you dont have a gun on you then, you will lose in exigent circumstances. All that stuff about skill, Sights, Trigger, paying attention everything even skill, takes a back seat and means nothing if you have no gun. Have a gun! Even a .22 LR is better than a sharp stick or even a knife.

Ruger makes fine firearms. I own several Rugers in different flavors, lol. They sell a 6 shot 22 pistol that is single action like the cowboy guns, you have to cock it for every shot, but it holds 6 rounds. I've seen them for sale for $200. and they are solid as a rock and will prolly last 200 years.

Ruger® Wrangler® Single-Action Revolver Models

ruger.com

They also have about anything else that you could imagine or want. Big booming 44 Magnum revolvers, 10/22 rifles which is the most popular 22 rifle ever produced with a slew of after market products that are largely bolt on to customize it to your liking.
They have super cool, super reliable, 22 semi auto pistols called the MK IV series of pistols and if the MK IV's are anything like the MK II's, (they are and better!) then I find them almost impossible to miss with! Those guns are so accurate that it's amazing.

My first Ruger firearm was their 44 Magnum Redhawk with a 5.5" barrel They were the underdogs in the gunworld back then. If you coudnt afford Dirty Harry's S&W model 29 44 mag, you got the poor mans 44 like I did, lol! I never looked back and never bought a S&W, Dont need it. Ruger is a tougher pistol than the S&W is. It costs less. And I found all I needed in that Ruger 44 mag and many of their other guns. And now! They bought out Marlin, who is famous for building all those nice lever action rifles! The're (supposed to be!) releasing the 44 Mag lever rifle (IN July 2023, Grrrr). They late! It will hold 10 44 mag bullets and has a compact 20" barrel.
I cant wait!

 

[MA2444]

Ouch! I KNEW there had to be more to the story than you just ditching her...because! Looking for a place for you both? A bit presumptuous on her part?

Unfortunately, I didn't know anything about "red flags" in the 70's-80's. I was supposed to be the 'Good Christian Girl' who forgave 'my man' for WHATEVER he did. He cheats? Forgive him. He lies and steals? Forgive him. He puts me down? Smacks me around? FORGIVE him.

It sure was presumptuious on her part. We never talked about living together, Lol! I heard that after I ghosted her she started dancing in pantyhose/bikini & high heels, so I was right, lol. She was...for the streets. I didnt cheat on her (because of who I was), and n either did I ever cheat on my wife. I didnt slap them around either!
Oh I did slap the McDonalds girl one time, but she asked for it, she sloshed her drink in my face so I slapped her. She calmed down after that.
(That's the short version, lol! It was interesting)

Was your dad around when you was a kid? My dad taught me, you dont slap the girls around. They're the special ones that we protect. Just dont choose that kind of girl that brings drama to you, you can learn to recognize them...

And I did.

Although I feel like I must say that even though I didnt cheat on my wife, that I know I did in my heart a couple times, so by God's determination I did committ Adultrey. So technically, I did cheat on her but not physically. My (ex) wife holds to, that I never cheated on her though, I guess that's a good thing?

 

[MA2444]

Enter Feminism.....

That was the wrong reaction to it though, dont you think?
You are above being treated like that, and rightly so. So if it happens, you should have said, well just because he is an a hole doesnt mean that I have to be. And you get out of that relationship. And you did.

But if it happens again, you have to go, Whoa, did I do something wrong? He's the same way as the last guy! Once can be a fluke, twice says, uh-oh something wrong here. What is it?
I *think* that women know if they would have a man's baby within the first 15 seconds of meeting them.

The problem has been well identified. WOmen want to marry the good guy, but want to have the bad boys baby, I'm not sure what it is about badboys that women are attracted to so much? Is it the display of strength? The Alpha Dominance? The rebellious energy that they give off? Because it has to be something. It may even be a combination of those because those types of displays are dynamic and sure to stir women's emotions. These guys are all about getting laid and using women. All they bring to the table is their seed. (Remember, I said I *Think* lol)
Do you have any insight on this.

Because if it happens a third time (and I *think* it did with you, by how you talked) then...isnt that clearly your fault for choosing poorly. It already happened TWICE and you havent figured out how to say no to these guys yet? How many times does it take before you adjust your strategy?

 

[MA2444]

Good on you! I'm sorry to say, but too many people don't care enough about gun safety. My late husband included. Grrrr...

Can you imagine if an intruder was getting the mommy and the two kids popped around the corner with 22 pistols?! OH but that badguy chose the wrong house!

Dry fire? HA! Late hubs never showed me that. But from what I told you, I was pretty good about being able to line up the target through the sight. Took my time...

But ammo was so cheap back then that most people didnt have to dryfire practice, just go to the range.

Yeah, I was never like that. Didn't close my eyes at the last second...expected the recoil, and like you said, "go with the flow". And I KNEW just by the FEEL, I MISSED where I was aiming. Oh, I still hit the bullseye, but I missed my 'goal'. Ugh.

What do you mean you could just by the feel you know you hit it? Wasnt it with your eyes? You should be concentrating on the sights so hard that when you look through the shot, you know where exactly on the target the sights were at when it went bang.

So...Pay closer attention next time. All you have to do is get used to paying attention at the moment the shot goes off and afterward then you can truely see it and know and dont have to feel it lol. I know what you mean but, see it. Once youre you are used to looking through the shot, it becomes automatic to you because your subconscious has been programmed to pay attention and keep the eyes open.

Where was your eyes at while you were feeling it?

 

[Mink57]

It sure was presumptuious on her part. We never talked about living together, Lol! I heard that after I ghosted her she started dancing in pantyhose/bikini & high heels, so I was right, lol.

Oh my...Then again, I don't have enough information to judge. I mean, was she ALWAYS like that (and you didn't know about it), or maybe you were last in a series of men who ghosted her...or...other? But still...yeah. Presumptious.

She was...for the streets. I didnt cheat on her (because of who I was), and n either did I ever cheat on my wife. I didnt slap them around either!
Oh I did slap the McDonalds girl one time, but she asked for it, she sloshed her drink in my face so I slapped her. She calmed down after that.
(That's the short version, lol! It was interesting)

See, I wouldn't have agreed with that reaction from you. Maybe calmly ordering a drink and sloshing it in her face. Had I seen you do that, I would have automatically judged you as an 'abuser' while maybe thinking, "He's cute, but NOPE!" But getting a bit older, I wouldn't have judged either of you. After all, for all *I* know, maybe she had been 'abusive' on more than one occasion...and you just...momentarily *snapped*...especially if you never hit a woman before or after that.

Was your dad around when you was a kid? My dad taught me, you dont slap the girls around. They're the special ones that we protect. Just dont choose that kind of girl that brings drama to you, you can learn to recognize them...

No biological father, but a father 'figure'. Apparently, my dad was physically abusive to my mom. Twice. Right after the second time, she packed me and my brother up, and went home. So, the only familial male role model I had growing up was my grandfather. We weren't exactly close.

Good on your dad but...sometimes it's not the woman who's bringing out 'drama' in you. Hypothetical situation: You're out to dinner with your date/wife. You ask your wife to wait in front of the restaurant so she doesn't have to walk all the way to the car. So, she's standing there. Waiting. Meanwhile, and attractive man approaches her, kind of stressed out. He asks her if he can borrow her cell phone for a few moments to call his wife and find out where she is. (he left his cell phone in the car). Your wife is skeptical, but figures there's other people around, so he probably won't try to take off with her phone. He makes the call. You pull up. You see him hand her cell phone back to her. She climbs in your car.
Are you automatically going to become jealous? Suspicious? Point is, that sometimes the "drama" is inside the man's immature brain.

Although I feel like I must say that even though I didnt cheat on my wife, that I know I did in my heart a couple times, so by God's determination I did committ Adultrey. So technically, I did cheat on her but not physically. My (ex) wife holds to, that I never cheated on her though, I guess that's a good thing?

I think MOST of us have been there before. Luckily, it's a forgivable sin. I honestly don't believe that God is such a tyrant.

 

[Wrangler]

Very commendable of you. I'm impressed. Not saying that she deserves that place of honor, but the idea that you gave it to her anyway speaks a lot of your character.

I don't know why but I feel I should share this experience with you ...

Many years after the divorce I saw her unexpectedly face-to-face in a parking garage at the university the night of our daughter's college graduation. It was a freak encounter. Although I came from out of State and there were no plans to meet other relatives, within moments 2 sets of relatives were on either side of me, further up the ramp away from the exit (the person she was with) and suddenly appeared another relative further down the ramp closer to the exit. I happened to park near the end of a row, at the corner going up the ramp.

Almost immediately upon getting out of the car, I encountered the person she was with coming down the ramp who matter-of-factly said my name (so she, following down the ramp around the corner out of sight could hear, knew I was there but I did not know she was there). Before I could react, the person I was with saw the other relative closer to the exit. I turned to look and was excited to see them and joyfully said hello. The person she was with walked past me toward the other relative closer to the exit.

I heard foot steps to my left and turned. It was my ex-wife within just a few feet of me. (The emotional dynamic was like being at a reunion where one party is ecstatic to see the one person but they do not even recognize the first person.) It was like we were the only 2 people in the universe in that moment. She coyly said my first and last name with a big smile on her face and asked if I remembered her. She exuded abject joy to be in my presence again. The smile ran away from my face and turned to trauma like the knife in my heart was just pulled out. I exuded abject shock and pain to be in her presence again as though I gasped and dared not breath.

No words were exchanged but I could tell that my emotional reaction rattled her to her core. She never committed adultery but her profound infidelity, the shocking, repeated and deliberate acts of pain she caused shattered and severed the momentous relationship irreparably; betrayal that can only come from one closest to you. She never greeted me that way ever again, nor should she. With subsequent gatherings around our daughter she was demur and restrained, cautious, as she should be. We've exchanged some words about our children and grandchildren at family functions, etc. But the emotional dynamic was flat, emotionless. As it must be.

Only because of deep love could there be such deep pain. During the separation process she wrote me a letter acknowledging that she hurt me deeply and hoped we, our marriage, could recover. If there was ever any sincere contrition, she never would have done what she did after the divorce in continuing the pattern of acting to cause shocking, repeated and deliberate acts of pain through my daughter and other family members. Ever read Aesop's the fox and the scorpion? She cannot change her nature. Her nature is missing emotional responsibility.

She used to argue that I should appreciate these acts because they are done because she cares. This is deluded. Her motivation is retribution and vengeance. That is what she cares about. When she moved out she put a beautiful picture of herself at my sister's wedding on the fire place mantle. We were not getting divorced because she is beautiful! Twisted. Doing evil and convincing herself it is love. Why did she greet me that way in the parking garage? Only love is real.

 

[MA2444]

See, I wouldn't have agreed with that reaction from you. Maybe calmly ordering a drink and sloshing it in her face. Had I seen you do that, I would have automatically judged you as an 'abuser' while maybe thinking, "He's cute, but NOPE!"

Oh you would not! Or else you wouldnt have had several failed long term relationships. You kept saying yes, not NOPE. You're thinking with hindsight.

*I* know, maybe she had been 'abusive' on more than one occasion...and you just...momentarily *snapped*...especially if you never hit a woman before or after that.

No. I didn't snap. I didnt go into a rage or uncontrollable anger. I slapped her once. If I didnt slap her, then she would 'Learn" that it is ok to treat me like that. She had it coming because she cant learn that she can slap me around, lol!
In fact this was on the tail end of excitement with her and me going MGTOW. We would argue here and there and she would try to get her way, and she got to where she liked to emphasise her point with a slap in the face to me! She had slapped me a couple times without me slapping her back, and then came the drink in the face. She was escalating her BS. So I smacked her down, lol. She did seen to stop slapping me and she never threw another drink in my face again, lol. I had to send her a message. Don't do that, or you might bite off more than you can chew.

I never thought of it as she was abusing me but I suppose technically she was, trying to. lol. She didnt hurt me as she was skinney little thing. But my girl aint going to slap me around! I never ever slapped my wife. Not even one time. 26 years together and I didnt push her around. No need to. I think she did sap me one time though, lol. I pushed her too far. It wasnt a vicious fighting slap but more of a, well let me make my displeasure known! At the time, that slap was taken as amusement to me. That slap from my wife wasnt vicious or escalating in nature because it wasnt that hard. She wasnt trying to fight, she was trying to voice her displeasure lol. And I knew that so I didnt touch her back.

Good on your dad but...sometimes it's not the woman who's bringing out 'drama' in you. Hypothetical situation: You're out to dinner with your date/wife. You ask your wife to wait in front of the restaurant so she doesn't have to walk all the way to the car. So, she's standing there. Waiting. Meanwhile, and attractive man approaches her, kind of stressed out. He asks her if he can borrow her cell phone for a few moments to call his wife and find out where she is. (he left his cell phone in the car). Your wife is skeptical, but figures there's other people around, so he probably won't try to take off with her phone. He makes the call. You pull up. You see him hand her cell phone back to her. She climbs in your car.
Are you automatically going to become jealous? Suspicious? Point is, that sometimes the "drama" is inside the man's immature brain.

Oh this gave me a good laugh! For one thing, I would never have left her alone. Anything could happen, geez. So I never left her alone, she can walk fine. If she can walk to the restaurant from the car then she can walk back to it!

I had a close cal with two black guys tried to strongarm rob us when she was pregnant with my first child. One of them was about to sucker punch me and I stepped backwards one step into 3/4 of a firing stance and put my hand on my 45...and that was enough for them, they threw no sucker punch, they wanted to be friends at that point, lol!
You see, my wifeGF) had never seen a black man before, she was from Poland. And this was right after I first met her, and she still only knew about 10 words of English, so she had no clue about black N*****s, she never seen one before. But circumstances ( my car was broke down lol) put us on a city bus to go out together a couple times and that's where we met them, on the bus. They were working together and playing the card game with 3 Jacks and they shuffle them back and forth and flip them up to show this ine then that one, like the shell game. I'd seen that game before and was hip to it, dont play!
And the one guy was playing with him and they were trying to get someone else interested in playing. And he just lost $20 to the dealer. The dealer guy said double or nothing on the two cards left...and he was acting like he was thinking about it and they were talking back and forth and the dealer said, pick the red one out of the two that are left...and me and my girl were watching them play and it became too much for my girl to sit still about, (LOL), and she reaches up and flips over a card and says there it is! (And she's right!)

And the dealer handed her a $20 bill and I was on top of it and took it from her immedately and handed it back to the dealer and said, she wasnt playing. And it went back and forth but she won! She was right! And she thought she won $20 so wanted it and would take it from him every time he handed it to her. But I knew that those guys were not going to let us get off the bus with his $20! I kept taking it from her and telling him that we wasnt playing, we wasnt betting, nothing, here's your money. And the dealer said, well all I want to know is that she had $20 to pay me with if she had lost...
And dangit, she knew that much English and I swear I never seen a girl whip out money so fast! Geez! She flashed her money to them so now they were excited. and luckily, our stop is coming up. So I took the money from her once last time, gave it to the guy and raised my voice, we were not playing the game! And then we exited the bus and watched as it started to putt away...1/4 block and the bus lurched a little and stopped and let the same two guys off the bus...and here they came. Ok we'll use my money and let her pick the cards and we'll split the winings?! and she wanted to. I knew better. I was trying to keep her in check and watch them and it got tense. They already knew that she had money in her purse and they would have to knock her down and take it and she was pregant out to here! Ready to pop! That cant happen. The big guy kept edging closer to me and talking his jive game stuff and I kept giving him ground and stepping back as he stepped forward. I'm on the edge of the curb and he's still edging closer. I could feel it coming, the sucker punch. I knew it was time. SO I stepped into the street with one foot and took a drawing grip on my 45. And I noticed in my periphrial vision that the dealer sat down on the grass so fast that you could say that he fell down! And the big guy in front of me backs up with two hands in the air "We all friends here!" And I took her by the arm and we ran up the street toget away from them. They didnt follow. I wonder why, lol. I never even drew the gun. But I took a drawing/firing grip on it and that was enough to telegraph to them that I was armed. And they didnt want none of that.

One thing I'd like to make clear is my use of the N word earlier. I'm not racist and it wasnt a black thing. To me, because I've thought it out, a "N" is a descriptive word of Character of an individual. These two guys just happened to be black. But I've known my share of Mexican N's and White N's too! Maybe it used to mean black but not any more. I doubt they even know it? But why do I say that? It's a term of character and not anything to do with skin color. But what made me realize that it's about character and not color at all os, I met some cool black people! Respectable, trustworthy. Men trying to do the right things and be good men. I have a lot of respect for the black culture because, look back at history! They've been Warriors for the entire history of the earth! hey wont take any crap! It is not wise to do black men wrong! Don't believe me? Just ask the Government!
I think the Government want to eradicate the black population by genocide. But the black people are a strong people and wont let that happen. . They're all arming themselves to the teeth right now because they aint stupid either!

So it wasnt a black thing, but those particular two were running a game and displaying the traits of a N in their character. So some black can be bad just like white folks. Thanks for letting me clarify that!

 

[MA2444]

No biological father, but a father 'figure'. Apparently, my dad was physically abusive to my mom. Twice. Right after the second time, she packed me and my brother up, and went home. So, the only familial male role model I had growing up was my grandfather. We weren't exactly close.

I heard that 96% (+-) of criminals who serve death and tradgedy upon the population and their neighbors come from single mother homes. No father figure. That's a phenomenal figure! It blows my mind. It seems to make it obvious that the union of the man & woman to both be there is very important to us individually and for society.

Are you automatically going to become jealous? Suspicious? Point is, that sometimes the "drama" is inside the man's immature brain.

Uh-uh. "If" I left her alone and I came back upon this situation, I would get out of the car and approach them and be ready because I dont why he is there. I'd ask her if everything is ok one the way up to them and be ready when I got there. Then I would stay until he finished his conversation on the phone and ended it. Glad we could help. Sometimes people need help too. I had a lady stop in front of my house with a flat tire yesterday. I went out and offered to change it for her, but she had no jack and already had somebody coming. Maybe she was scared of me a little too? I think so. So I went back in and watched until after the (Tow Truck!) guy changed it. I offered. I even told her I have a floor jack, but she was insistent that she was ok and someone is coming, so let it go and just watched them until they left.

It's all situational ethics. Learn how men think. She may have needed help or she may be helping someone or giving them directions? She was helping the guy, right? A nattural reaction. That girl had a heart, my ex wife. One time she made me turn around and go stop by a man on the street that she spotted that he didnt have any shoes on. And she bought that guy a pair of new socks and shoes! And that stuff happens.
Jealous? Nope. Not in the least. Women come and women go. If it wasnt helping the guy but giving him her number (!!) then it's a different ballgame now. No more trust means you have to move out, tonight. Please go. But if it isnt that, and the guy needed help to borrow him a cell phone, why walk up and start acting the a-hole? Looks bad on one, lol. No class. Wont even help a guy out. But men have to be careful because the girl might be an evil genius and running a suubtle game? But when you live with someone, you lear if they are an evil genius or not! My wife wasnt an evil genius! I used to catch her i lies every day almost, lol. She would lie about weird stuff, stuff no one needs to lie about! And I would catch it and correct her! She used to call me a human lie detector.

That's always puzzled me. Why do some women ie about such trivial things? I know that lying is a red flag, but oh my Lord this girl had everything else! She could make a good dinner out of the gravel in the driveway, lol. She was like magic around a stove.. No one is perfect so I learned to ive with it and just continue to call her on the lies. It was kind of cute. She'd say an untruth and about something that, I know better! I'd tell her, huh-uh, it's this or that, and she ever so politely try to explain to me where I am wrong and she is right. It wasnt exasperating to me most of the time, just amusing. Ok she dont want to talk about that, lol.

 

[MA2444]

I think MOST of us have been there before. Luckily, it's a forgivable sin. I honestly don't believe that God is such a tyrant.

Right! Agreed. God is not a tyrant. It is forgivable and I have even forgiven myself for it. That's prolly why I'm willing to confess my faults to others. Scripture says to do that anyway, so....

I think it has to do with learning from others mistakes? I was youngest and hung out with older people a lot, lol. So I learned a lot from that.

 

[Wrangler]

This vid includes the famous Vonne-Anniston break up scene. Pearl points out that women over-value what they do and under-value what men do, as well as women keep score, only doing things with the expectation that things are done for them.

That reminded me of my all-time favorite argument with my wife. As soon as I came home on a Friday evening, not even in the house, my wife wanted me to BEGIN a project. She ran off a litany of things she's done AS IF that puts a burden on me to do MORE. Laughing at her building herself up, I pointed out that I do 3/4 of the things around here, 3 times as much as you.

Her rebuttle? Denied that but admitted that I "only" do twice as much as she does. Laughing even harder, I pointed out that I am doing twice as much as you, by your own admission, and you are complaining I am not doing MORE; I should be the one complaining for you to do more!

Getting back to the break up scene with Vonne-Anniston, she wanted him to do WHAT (the dishes) and dictate WHEN (now). I often point out to my wife that IF I agree to do WHAT she wants, if I submit to her WHAT, that I'll decide WHEN, she needs to submit to my WHEN. She often struggles with this because feminism teaches that if women don't get everything they want all the time, then they are the victims. Enjoy the vid!

 

[Wrangler]

Apparently, my dad was physically abusive to my mom. Twice.

I'm sorry to hear that @Mink57. I won't say that choosing bad men seems to run in your family. Not to suggest this applies to your case but two general things I noticed:

1. The standards of abuse decline over time. (My ex-wife once told me telling our teen girls "no" is abusive).
2. The emotional abuse women dish out to men prior to getting physical is ignored.

To hear feminists tell the story, the lady of the house was baking cookies when all a sudden, the monster they choose started beating on them for no reason whatsoever. Feminism has outlawed men's primary advantage over men while language usage (and abusive disrespect) is allowed and even encouraged.

Ever notice how it is the men that have the burden to leave before things get physical? That does not work in the real world. You're out in the woods when a lion, tiger or bear come around ... men are far more dangerous than these creatures. Most would say you should not invade a lion or tiger or bears habitat to avoid getting mauled. The point is lost on feminists.

By contrast, there are vids of feminists not only being physically abusive to the spouse, but feeling morally self-righteous and justifying it + encouraged by the feminist friends to do more frequently and severely. Can a man be a victim of domestic abuse?

I heard that 96% (+-) of criminals who serve death and tradgedy upon the population and their neighbors come from single mother homes. No father figure. That's a phenomenal figure! It blows my mind. It seems to make it obvious that the union of the man & woman to both be there is very important to us individually and for society.

Feminism is an idealistic philosophy, striving for an unobtainable utopia (which is one reason why it is evil). Raising the standards on men to be impossible to meet in practice (see above), they guess there is absolutely no negative consequences for removing the unneeded, "toxic" man. Decades of reality prove otherwise as you noted.

I once engaged a pastor, juxtaposing these two points. If you want the societal benefits of men, they have to return to not merely being present in an emascualted capacity but being the head of the household, you're going to have to accept him doing it to HIS standards, not feminist standards. Said differently, reality won't be perfect but with strong men as head of households, you did not have the stats above.

I'm reminded of the Godfather, where Freddie was slapped around a couple of times so the place could run right. Freddie defended his boss, knowing Michael took the scene as life and death, which it wasn't.

 

[Mink57]

That was the wrong reaction to it though, dont you think?
You are above being treated like that, and rightly so. So if it happens, you should have said, well just because he is an a hole doesnt mean that I have to be. And you get out of that relationship. And you did.

Eh. Not sure if it was the 'wrong' reaction, but it was my reaction.

But if it happens again, you have to go, Whoa, did I do something wrong? He's the same way as the last guy! Once can be a fluke, twice says, uh-oh something wrong here. What is it?

People don't "let their hair down" IMMEDIATELY upon meeting someone. It's not as if people have "a-hole" or "jerk" or "abuser" tattooed on their foreheads. It can take a few days, even up to a few YEARS before the ugliness starts to ooze out of the chinks in the armor.

I *think* that women know if they would have a man's baby within the first 15 seconds of meeting them.

Ha. Not me. Though I know what you mean, 15 seconds after meeting someone, I'm not even THINKING about babies!

The problem has been well identified. WOmen want to marry the good guy, but want to have the bad boys baby, I'm not sure what it is about badboys that women are attracted to so much? Is it the display of strength? The Alpha Dominance? The rebellious energy that they give off? Because it has to be something. It may even be a combination of those because those types of displays are dynamic and sure to stir women's emotions. These guys are all about getting laid and using women. All they bring to the table is their seed. (Remember, I said I *Think* lol)
Do you have any insight on this.

Bad boys often start out as 'nice guys'. They're charming, charismatic, 'nice', attractive, polite, complimentary...She's not a 'woman'; she's a target. The 'niceness' that the bad boy FIRST exhibits is the hook.

This from the article I linked:

"Other studies have similarly shown that women prefer men who are sensitive, confident and easy-going, and that very few (if any) women want to date a man who is aggressive or demanding. The picture that emerges is clear: when women rate hypothetical partners, they clearly prefer “nice” "

Do women really go for ‘bad boys’? Here’s the science that settles the question

‘Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen’ is bad advice, tailored for men who’d rather hate women than face their own shortcomings.

theconversation.com

Maybe the following article will give you some more insight:

Why Do Women Go for "Bad Boys"?

Why do we fall in love with "bad boys"—psychopaths who lack a moral compass, feeling no guilt or shame when they harm others?

www.psychologytoday.com

Because if it happens a third time (and I *think* it did with you, by how you talked) then...isnt that clearly your fault for choosing poorly. It already happened TWICE and you havent figured out how to say no to these guys yet? How many times does it take before you adjust your strategy?

My "fault"? No. My responsibility? Definitely.

Think I mentioned before that after my last relationship, I did a lot of soul-searching. Stayed single for over 10 years now and had NO INTEREST in dating/intimate relationships/marriage. NOT. FOR. ME. Oh, I had plenty of opportunities but turned down EVERYONE. I simply wasn't interested. VERY happy being un-coupled.

 

[Wrangler]

People don't "let their hair down" IMMEDIATELY upon meeting someone. It's not as if people have "a-hole" or "jerk" or "abuser" tattooed on their foreheads.

That's where having moral values and using them come into play. After my divorce, I led value-based conversations. Every women said she valued education. The litany of excuses for why these middle-aged monsters did not have an education became legend. You guessed it. Their ex had so much power over them that they were victims.

Ding .... Ding .... Ding .... Red flag. Time to move on. And it only took about 1 minute.