--- PARODY ---
Christian Apologist: The Bible is the Word of God.
Innocent bystander: Are you talking to me?
Christian Apologist: God-breathed, every word.
Innocent bystander: Do you mean our English translation?
Christian Apologist: Well, yes.
Innocent bystander: Not all English translations agree.
Christian Apologist: The Bible is 99.6% accurate.
Innocent bystander: I thought you said it was god-breathed.
Christian Apologist: That's what the Bible says.
Innocent bystander: Maybe that was the 0.4% part that was inaccurate?
Christian Apologist: Erm... no, that's not right...
Innocent bystander: I think the accuracy rating is in reference to the original language manuscripts.
Christian Apologist: Yes, yes... that's probably right.
Innocent bystander: Manuscript copies, of copies, of copies... you get the idea.
Christian Apologist: No, I mean the originals.
Innocent bystander: We don't have the originals; they are long gone.
Christian Apologist: WHAT!!!!! ?????
Innocent bystander: Do you know what textual criticism is?
Christian Apologist: I would NEVER criticize the Bible!
Innocent bystander: LOL - It means comparing manuscript copies to identify textual variants.
Christian Apologist: Textual variants! What?
Innocent bystander: That's where your 99.6% comes from.
Christian Apologist: How do you know all this?
Innocent bystander: I'm a Seminary Bible professor.
Christian Apologist: What?
Innocent bystander: I teach Pastors these things about the where the Bible came from.
Christian Apologist: Why didn't I hear these things from my Pastor?
Innocent bystander: The denominations make them sign a doctrinal agreement to prevent it.
Christian Apologist: Huh?
Innocent bystander: Right. Where does that leave you?
[
Christian Apologist: The Bible is the Word of God.
Innocent bystander: Are you talking to me?
Christian Apologist: God-breathed, every word.
Innocent bystander: Do you mean our English translation?
Christian Apologist: Well, yes.
Innocent bystander: Not all English translations agree.
Christian Apologist: The Bible is 99.6% accurate.
Innocent bystander: I thought you said it was god-breathed.
Christian Apologist: That's what the Bible says.
Innocent bystander: Maybe that was the 0.4% part that was inaccurate?
Christian Apologist: Erm... no, that's not right...
Innocent bystander: I think the accuracy rating is in reference to the original language manuscripts.
Christian Apologist: Yes, yes... that's probably right.
Innocent bystander: Manuscript copies, of copies, of copies... you get the idea.
Christian Apologist: No, I mean the originals.
Innocent bystander: We don't have the originals; they are long gone.
Christian Apologist: WHAT!!!!! ?????
Innocent bystander: Do you know what textual criticism is?
Christian Apologist: I would NEVER criticize the Bible!
Innocent bystander: LOL - It means comparing manuscript copies to identify textual variants.
Christian Apologist: Textual variants! What?
Innocent bystander: That's where your 99.6% comes from.
Christian Apologist: How do you know all this?
Innocent bystander: I'm a Seminary Bible professor.
Christian Apologist: What?
Innocent bystander: I teach Pastors these things about the where the Bible came from.
Christian Apologist: Why didn't I hear these things from my Pastor?
Innocent bystander: The denominations make them sign a doctrinal agreement to prevent it.
Christian Apologist: Huh?
Innocent bystander: Right. Where does that leave you?
[