Of COURSE "she" does! But there are compliments and 'compliments'. You've probably heard about "love-bombing" before. Compliment after compliment after compliment...to the point of ad nauseum! And love-bombing is often a pre-cursor to abuse.
Never heard of a love bomb but I think I know what you mean. I heard somewhere that you should show your spouse a some real love towards her every day...
SO I thought, if a drop makes her feel good, then how would she react to being sloshed with a 5 gallon bucketful every day...
And it turned out like you said. She didnt like it or appreciate it.
Sounds like a DECENT relationship. One that worked well, like a well-oiled machine. Siiiigh. If ONLY...
Late husband and I didn't have a business, but worked together for a short time. He wanted to be "The Boss". Stood back and let me do EVERYTHING, while issuing orders. Uhhhhh, no.
But it seems like you respected her "contribution" as important. It wasn't "lesser than" your own.
Maybe the problem with feminism is the whole idea of "equality" when they should be seeking the same recognition for "equivalent"?
So you wanted to be the boss. You have difficulty receiving instruction from a man. (And they let you on the council?!)
I sure did respect her contribution. Everything she touched turned to gold. So we had a good partnership in running the business together. But there were times that we had disagreements. SOmetimes I would try her idea and other times I would say, no let's go ahead and do it this way instead. And she would! There was her respectability. Not in being able to be the boss.
We're trying to run a business here so why start politicing to me when we're simply looking for the best solution to the problem? That's no help.
The woman in the marriage should not be seeking the same recognition that the man gets. Who does she think she is?!When women say "equality with men" nowadays, this is really code talk for "superior to men" Where she does ot hve to take instruction from a mere man and she is her own Boss!
What kind of woman is that?!
What happened? You seem to 'have it all'. Is it possible that although you fault ME for missing the 'red flags', could YOU have missed a few too?
I didnt miss any red flags with her. The moment she raised the forst red flag, I knew it would be over soon. I remember when it started. Women come and women go. Nothing a man can do abut that. You can't tie her up in the basement, lol.
What happened is that by me spoiling her with more money than she knew what to do with and over complimenting her, she got
Americanized. She turned materialistic and liked spending moneyand then when the economy started slowing down and it dropped below 6 figures, that scared her into thinking life was going away from her. Because even when the economy was slowing, we still had all the overhead. SO any money shortages were directly from her personal money, lol. And she din like that.
I thought I was safe because, good times bad times, richer or poorer and all that But she already knew how to live on nothing because of where she grew up. And when she very first turned 40 and was still very hot for her age...she remembered how fast the last 10 years went and she saw 50 coming up, where she would hit the wall hard and not be marketable to other men. Men want young pretty girls, right? So she cut and run to florida where...she had her plans to marry a millionaire! (Wow!) (and she almost did! Some lawyer guy that owned a 7 million dollar home!)
When she left and got to florida she got al comfortable and was well received down there, then she called me up and said, I'm not coming back home. He can take better care of me than you can and I'm tired of being broke...Uh, ok.
But I had sabotaged her and didnt even know it at first. The same pedestal that I put her up on...(my mistake!)...is what made her feel like she was more than she was, so she had the big head and wrote the Lawyer an email Demanding that he marry her, after all, have I not given you my all?! And mr millionaire showed her the door! Lol.
He forwarded her email to me so I got to read it. (I doubt she even knows that!) And she shouldnt have got the big head because it was her downfall...my mistake for making her feel like she was more than she was. (But in our very first place together, She was so humble in spirit. She would ask if she could have a drink of water....and I'm like, this is your house babe. You dont have to ask! So I immediately began lifting her up.
I went too far and sabotaged both me and her. (Idiot!)
When I learned my wife was walking out, it hit me hard. We had been close and had a great family. The only thing I could do to stop mysef from going insane and acting the weirdo was to tun it into a learning experience for myself.
And I figured it out for myself. It was my fault. Sure, I cant be all bad if she stayed for 26 years, but...wouldnt she still be here if I was that good of a guy? I showered her with way too much money and too many compliments. Put her up on a pedestal instead of squarely beside me as it should have been. Oh she liked the money when it was good. But when it fell below 6 figures she still wanted to keep up the same lifestyle, and the money wasnt there. She got americanized and chased the dream instead of staying grounded in reality. And it sort of backfired on her, lol.
No millionaire. Instead a disabled retired cop. Lol! I dont know to many millionaire cops, lol. She's still working now I heard. He's disabled so she pays all the bills I think? He dont work.
She wanted to come back to me after the miionaire ousted her. She only had three conditions...(Lol). She wanted me to take out a big loan and throw a huge wedding with lots of pictures...And, fly her two nurse hoe girlfriends that taught her how to cheat in fla round trip so they could attend the wedding...And, buy her a BMW...
I couldnt believe she even said that. I knew immediately that I could never het back with her now. She may as well have said I get to set up my throne in the LR again. And that couldnt happen.
WHy was she so stupid? She should have boo hooed a little bit and been telling me I still lve you and stuff like tht. I may have taken her back (men are stupid like that sometimes). And then if the wife needed a car, we'll get her a car, big deal. Oh you want a BMW this time? Ok. But noooo! She wasnt that bright and tried to make it some sort of deal. (Like I was desperate or something? Lol!) Besides, the trust was gone. I'd feel like she would remarry me and bide her time until she got ready to go again and screw me over royally this time. And I was having none of that. I told her to leave me alone and hung up.
That's the short version of what happened. Lol.