Men, Can you Tell If Other Men Are Good-Looking?

[A_Man]

American men don't usually go around telling other men they are good-looking, but I have heard some comments like that in Asia. Occasionally, I have heard an American man say another man was good-looking.

I didn't take these comments as serious, though. I have almost no ability to tell if another man is good-looking. I can tell if I, personally, think a woman is good-looking, and for the ones I consider exceptionally good-looking, most other men seem to agree.

I read a blog post where a woman asked a guy if a potential date was good-looking, and this male friend of hers said he could not tell. She thought he was being dishonest. I got curious. Can men tell if another man is good looking? Am I lacking in some normal ability? I never thought much about it but if someone had asked me, I would wonder if it was just the case that women could tell if women are good looking and straight men were clueless.

Thinking back, it was not just me who is in this boat. In college, I worked with a guy who was upset at first when a girl said he looked like French actor Gérard Depardieu. But later a girl told him that that actor was good-looking, so he did not feel bad. (The actor was younger back then, and he did resemble him and have the same build and hair.)

Come to think of it, male movie directors would have to have some sort of sense of this to cast good-looking leading men unless they relied purely on female opinion.

I did a straw poll of a few guys at work and a conversation with another group of guys. One man said he could tell. He was a musician. Maybe he had an artistic bent. Another said that was something only women could know. I think 40% were in my category, no idea or just the slightest sense.

If a guy has strange features, I can guess that he is not good-looking. But sometimes I can guess that a man in a movie is good-looking-- but usually I get context clue like he is going to be the male lead in a move. I ask my wife if a man is good-looking in a movie, because sometimes it helps me pick up on those aspects of the storyline.

I know that facial symmetry and certain other features contribute to beauty. With female faces, that seems to be part of it, but exaggerated features like feminine features (feminine jawline) or large eyes can make a woman look prettier. I am assuming symmetry plus a big square jaw might be two variables for men. With women, I can see facial beauty instantly. With a man, I'd have to guess based on psychological research. :)

 

[farouk]

American men don't usually go around telling other men they are good-looking, but I have heard some comments like that in Asia. Occasionally, I have heard an American man say another man was good-looking.

I didn't take these comments as serious, though. I have almost no ability to tell if another man is good-looking. I can tell if I, personally, think a woman is good-looking, and for the ones I consider exceptionally good-looking, most other men seem to agree.

I read a blog post where a woman asked a guy if a potential date was good-looking, and this male friend of hers said he could not tell. She thought he was being dishonest. I got curious. Can men tell if another man is good looking? Am I lacking in some normal ability? I never thought much about it but if someone had asked me, I would wonder if it was just the case that women could tell if women are good looking and straight men were clueless.

Thinking back, it was not just me who is in this boat. In college, I worked with a guy who was upset at first when a girl said he looked like French actor Gérard Depardieu. But later a girl told him that that actor was good-looking, so he did not feel bad. (The actor was younger back then, and he did resemble him and have the same build and hair.)

Come to think of it, male movie directors would have to have some sort of sense of this to cast good-looking leading men unless they relied purely on female opinion.

I did a straw poll of a few guys at work and a conversation with another group of guys. One man said he could tell. He was a musician. Maybe he had an artistic bent. Another said that was something only women could know. I think 40% were in my category, no idea or just the slightest sense.

If a guy has strange features, I can guess that he is not good-looking. But sometimes I can guess that a man in a movie is good-looking-- but usually I get context clue like he is going to be the male lead in a move. I ask my wife if a man is good-looking in a movie, because sometimes it helps me pick up on those aspects of the storyline.

I know that facial symmetry and certain other features contribute to beauty. With female faces, that seems to be part of it, but exaggerated features like feminine features (feminine jawline) or large eyes can make a woman look prettier. I am assuming symmetry plus a big square jaw might be two variables for men. With women, I can see facial beauty instantly. With a man, I'd have to guess based on psychological research. :)

I must confess the subject is beyond me...

 

[marks]

I must confess the subject is beyond me...

Just focused on the external. Rating people's attractiveness by their features, ascribing this to something outside of ourselves (some objective "attractiveness").

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And if you only look on the outside, you miss it.

Much love!

 

[marks]

Can men tell if another man is good looking?

If a man is good looking to you? No, I cannot tell.

 

[A_Man]

If a man is good looking to you? No, I cannot tell.

If he is a man, he isn't good-looking to me. If there is a woman who looks like a man, I don't consider her good-looking.

I am talking about good-looking from the perspective of the man doing the perceiving, you in this case. If you see a picture of a young Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Matt Daimon... or whoever is supposed to be a male good-looking actor or model, can you perceive if he is good-looking. How about an honest response, or just taking the survey instead of the smart/cheeky replies?

I'd like to know how common it is for other men to share my lack of ability in this area. Is it fairly normal for men not to be able to perceive this? Would anyone else have to ask their wives or mothers if a man is good-looking if you needed that information? I'm thinking it is probably 40% of men who do not have a sense of this based on straw polls.

This would make a good research topic with anonymous surveys, but it is way too far out of my area for me to do it.

If you do not want to post on the forum, you can fill out the survey. Men only please.

 

[Sabertooth]

As an amateur figure artist, I have discussed this, at length, with my wife.

I collect 1:6 scale figures to help me draw faces better. Like human actors, my guys range from rugged-looking GI Joe-types to [less rugged-looking] Ken-types. There is no clear delineation between the two, but I draw the line closer to the Ken side of the continuum. My wife draws the line a little closer to center.

Among other artist-types, I treat this topic asexually (like a doctor). It has no reflection on my marital interests. (In the USA, that is why so many men are silent on the matter.) I willingly admit that (to me) some of my sons look pretty; others are more handsome. I think that all of my daughters look pretty.

My 1:6 female figure blog is called Babes in Toyland.
My male blog is Hunks of Plastic (if a straight guy can say that...).

 

[marks]

If he is a man, he isn't good-looking to me. If there is a woman who looks like a man, I don't consider her good-looking.

I am talking about good-looking from the perspective of the man doing the perceiving, you in this case. If you see a picture of a young Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Matt Daimon... or whoever is supposed to be a male good-looking actor or model, can you perceive if he is good-looking. How about an honest response, or just taking the survey instead of the smart/cheeky replies?

I'd like to know how common it is for other men to share my lack of ability in this area. Is it fairly normal for men not to be able to perceive this? Would anyone else have to ask their wives or mothers if a man is good-looking if you needed that information? I'm thinking it is probably 40% of men who do not have a sense of this based on straw polls.

This would make a good research topic with anonymous surveys, but it is way too far out of my area for me to do it.

If you do not want to post on the forum, you can fill out the survey. Men only please.

My point is, good looking to who? Characterizing me as cheeky is to overlook what I'm saying.

Is what you are really asking more like, Since I don't find any man to be "good looking", are there any men that do?

It's really a complex question the way you've written it. Before I can answer if I can tell whether a man is good looking or not, we first have to answer the question, Is that man good looking? So I ask, good looking to who? It's all just us people.

We all have different tastes, and God looks at the heart, loves everyone. So what sets the standard? Each have their own. So since you are the one asking, I assume that you use your own standard as everyone does.

But I'm curious, why the focus on men's appearances? Good looking is another way of saying, Attractive, which is closer to the point, since we're talking about a person's physical appeal to our senses. What good is down that road?

Much love!

 

[bbyrd009]

American men don't usually go around telling other men they are good-looking, but I have heard some comments like that in Asia. Occasionally, I have heard an American man say another man was good-looking.

I didn't take these comments as serious, though. I have almost no ability to tell if another man is good-looking. I can tell if I, personally, think a woman is good-looking, and for the ones I consider exceptionally good-looking, most other men seem to agree.

I read a blog post where a woman asked a guy if a potential date was good-looking, and this male friend of hers said he could not tell. She thought he was being dishonest. I got curious. Can men tell if another man is good looking? Am I lacking in some normal ability? I never thought much about it but if someone had asked me, I would wonder if it was just the case that women could tell if women are good looking and straight men were clueless.

Thinking back, it was not just me who is in this boat. In college, I worked with a guy who was upset at first when a girl said he looked like French actor Gérard Depardieu. But later a girl told him that that actor was good-looking, so he did not feel bad. (The actor was younger back then, and he did resemble him and have the same build and hair.)

Come to think of it, male movie directors would have to have some sort of sense of this to cast good-looking leading men unless they relied purely on female opinion.

I did a straw poll of a few guys at work and a conversation with another group of guys. One man said he could tell. He was a musician. Maybe he had an artistic bent. Another said that was something only women could know. I think 40% were in my category, no idea or just the slightest sense.

If a guy has strange features, I can guess that he is not good-looking. But sometimes I can guess that a man in a movie is good-looking-- but usually I get context clue like he is going to be the male lead in a move. I ask my wife if a man is good-looking in a movie, because sometimes it helps me pick up on those aspects of the storyline.

I know that facial symmetry and certain other features contribute to beauty. With female faces, that seems to be part of it, but exaggerated features like feminine features (feminine jawline) or large eyes can make a woman look prettier. I am assuming symmetry plus a big square jaw might be two variables for men. With women, I can see facial beauty instantly. With a man, I'd have to guess based on psychological research. :)

i would maybe wonder "to whom?" viz your Q, but c'mon bro, you cant tell that Brad Pitt is/was obviously good looking? mark here, ntmy btw

 

[Hidden In Him]

To me, most men look kinda like this (at their best):

Or this:

Or maybe this:

Actually, there were a few men I've thought were pretty good looking over the years. William Shatner when he was young was good looking. Russell Crowe in Gladiator. But maybe that's because it was my favorite movie and they wore Roman soldier's attire during it (I always envied the Romans when it came to men's attire. They knew how to dress).

But for the most part, no. I've always felt sorry for women having to look at us, frankly. God somehow gave them the ability to see beauty where it actually isn't.

 

[Sabertooth]

My point is, good looking to who?

In my case, it is like a casting decision. Would this guy play a viable romantic lead, a bodyguard or somewhere in the middle, like a superspy?

I wouldn't cast myself in those categories, but rather as a nerd, a grandpa or an academic. None of this has any bearing on one's value as a person. It is just part of the visual landscape that we all live in. I am more instinctively moved by female aesthetics, but some male features look more fitting in dancers or to be casts in certain other roles. I am personally content with my own physique (such as it is), but I would be very distracted to see one like it cast as a leading superhero (except, perhaps, as a parody).

 

[A_Man]

i would maybe wonder "to whom?" viz your Q, but c'mon bro, you cant tell that Brad Pitt is/was obviously good looking? mark here, ntmy btw

I don't see it. If someone had asked me if he were good-looking after I saw 'A River Runs through It' before I heard women talking about him being good-looking, I might have guessed no, just because his face is shaped differently from other actors who were said to be good-looking.

It's like if you could talk to horses, and they described to you what features were considered good-looking for horses, and you had to examine features to figure it out-- that would be my way of telling if a man is good-looking. Slightly masculine features on women, e.g. big shoulders or large jaws are not attractive to me, either.

Occasionally, I see an actor and guess the guy is supposed to be good-looking-- symmetry, distinct features (how do you say that.) But it's a guess based on intellectually analyzing variables quickly. With women it's instinctual for me, as it probably is for most men.

My mom did not talk about men being good looking when I was a kid, probably so as not to make my dad jealous or something like that. :) Maybe I just did not get that kind of input in my formative years.

 

[A_Man]

My point is, good looking to who? Characterizing me as cheeky is to overlook what I'm saying.

Is what you are really asking more like, Since I don't find any man to be "good looking", are there any men that do?

It's really a complex question the way you've written it. Before I can answer if I can tell whether a man is good looking or not, we first have to answer the question, Is that man good looking? So I ask, good looking to who? It's all just us people.

We all have different tastes, and God looks at the heart, loves everyone. So what sets the standard? Each have their own. So since you are the one asking, I assume that you use your own standard as everyone does.

But I'm curious, why the focus on men's appearances? Good looking is another way of saying, Attractive, which is closer to the point, since we're talking about a person's physical appeal to our senses. What good is down that road?

Much love!

Fair enough. Sorry if I misunderstood you. This is not the most spiritual of threads, but there are scriptural-references to people being good-looking, like Rachel or David, or the woman chosen from among the captives a man might choose to marry. So it shouldn't be considered a forbidden topic, should it?

To clarify, do you men have a sense of what you think a good-looking man is. You could also comment on whether you would be able to perceive what the general populace (either everyone or just women) perceive a man to look like.

Really, what I am wondering what percentage of men are as clueless as I am on this issue. I suspect it is a minority but still a sizeable percentage or maybe as much as half.

 

[Sabertooth]

...probably so as not to make my dad jealous or something like that.

When my wife wasn't depressed, we freely compared notes about other women & men.

 

[A_Man]

In my case, it is like a casting decision. Would this guy play a viable romantic lead, a bodyguard or somewhere in the middle, like a superspy?

I wouldn't cast myself in those categories, but rather as a nerd, grandpa or academic. None of this has any bearing on one's value as a person. It is just part of the visual landscape that we all live in. I am more instinctively moved by female aesthetics, but some male features look more fitting in dancers or to be casts in certain other roles. I am personally content with my own physique (such as it is), but I would be very distracted to see one like it cast as a leading superhero (except, perhaps, as a parody).

I like the casting decision comment. If you were a director, would you know who to cast if someone is supposed to be good-looking to the movie audience. It is also something artists would be concerned with.

I asked my wife if Woody Harrelson was good looking when we were watching a movie (not something we do that often, btw). She did not think so. I thought he was supposed to be since he had a pretty big part on a TV SitCom and he had a lead role in a few movies I saw. But I don't know if all women would agree with my wife. Generally, if an actress is generally deemed good-looking, I can see that. For Jennifer Lawrence, though, she seems slightly good-looking to me if she is made up well, but a lot of men seem to think she is absolutely stunning. So I can see for females there is some variability there, but a general consensus on what traits are attractive, though most of us cannot verbalize or identify what is considered to be good-looking very well. I assume the same is the case for men, but I have very little sense of that.

 

[bbyrd009]

With women it's instinctual for me, as it probably is for most men.

ah well you say that but note that a woman you might find quite attractive could easily be meh to a friend, right

 

[A_Man]

To me, most men look kinda like this (at their best):

Or this:

Or maybe this:

Actually, there were a few men I've thought were pretty good looking over the years. William Shatner when he was young was good looking. Russell Crowe in Gladiator. But maybe that's because it was my favorite movie and they wore Roman soldier's attire during it (I always envied the Romans when it came to men's attire. They knew how to dress).

But for the most part, no. I've always felt sorry for women having to look at us, frankly. God somehow gave them the ability to see beauty where it actually isn't.

I can tell these 'men' are supposed to be unattractive because they look so strange. Its people in the 'normal' range that I can't tell. I hope Danny DeVito doesn't read this, but I could probably guess he is not the best looking actor in Hollywood, and wasn't when he was young. Speaking of DeVito, he co-stared with Schwarzeneggar, I cannot tell if his face is good-looking or not, but I've heard different opinions. Some women say he is, some say not exactly but he has charisma and he is strong or whatever. I think there is an element of strong masculinity that appeals to some women in addition to purely looking at how good-looking the facial features are.

 

[Sabertooth]

This is not the most spiritual of threads, but there are scriptural-references to people being good-looking, like Rachel or David,...

In the Biblical sense, like Job's second set of daughters, the term was more about popularity.

There are female faces in my collection that I wouldn't be naturally attracted to that still represent an interesting type.

To clarify, do you men have a sense of what you think a good-looking man is. You could also comment on whether you would be able to perceive what the general populace (either everyone or just women) perceive a man to look like.

As I stated earlier, for casting purposes, yes. Looks, alone, cannot make a man more marriageable to a woman, so I cannot make any such recommendations.

"As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout,
So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion." Proverbs 11:22 NKJV

That goes for guys, too.

 

[bbyrd009]

To me, most men look kinda like this (at their best):

Or this:

Or maybe this:

Actually, there were a few men I've thought were pretty good looking over the years. William Shatner when he was young was good looking. Russell Crowe in Gladiator. But maybe that's because it was my favorite movie and they wore Roman soldier's attire during it (I always envied the Romans when it came to men's attire. They knew how to dress).

But for the most part, no. I've always felt sorry for women having to look at us, frankly. God somehow gave them the ability to see beauty where it actually isn't.

as AM has just noted, symettry is attractive to ppl generally speaking i guess.


i dont think women value appearances the same way we do though. I am prolly closest to the bottom image there now, but i have a basso profundo voice and am tall--with a ridiculous giraffe neck lol--and old, and still getting attn. Weird to me.

 

[bbyrd009]

I can tell these 'men' are supposed to be unattractive because they look so strange.

yet chicks dig scars lol huh

 

[A_Man]

ah well you say that but note that a woman you might find quite attractive could easily be meh to a friend, right

Probably so. I think my wife is beautiful. I'd have said at least 90th percentile for looks, certainly when I met her. But she's southeast Asian. I introduced her to a friend who was married to a Chinese who'd already commented on not finding the local southeast Asian population attractive. I asked if he thought she was pretty (right when I'd started getting to know her.) He refused to comment on her looks. I remembered he generally did not find women from the region attractive.

But there does seem to be some general consensus, at least among people who have similar phenotypes, as to what consistutes an attractive face. I can generally agree that most of the 'pretty' leading actresses are pretty, though I might think one is slightly attractive and someone else might think she is the most beautiful woman in the world. And there are a few I think are unattractive, physically, that seem to play female leads that should be played by an attractive women. So I think there some general consensus and some general variability.

But when it gets down to the level of most of us normal people who might be slightly attractive to some people and not to others, one person might think someone is strange looking that another finds attractive enough to pair off with and marry. And some people really care about looks, and others care more about charisma, persona, masculinity, feminity, and those things ring the subconscious emotional bells. Then there are more important issues like faith, values, and character, of curse, which are much more important than looks.