It Was Hard For Me To Understand Christian Modesty for Women

[Ritajanice]

So, because I am pretty tiny and have massive boobs, that seem to draw attention not only from men,woman also, am I supposed to sellotape them down..LOL.

Sorry I refuse to dress as a frump ..I refuse to dress like a tart as well...am I allowed to say that word...apologies if I’m not.

 

[Wynona]

So, because I am pretty tiny and have massive boobs, that seem to draw attention not only from men,woman also, am I supposed to sellotape them down..LOL.

Sorry I refuse to dress as a frump ..I refuse to dress like a tart as well...am I allowed to say that word...apologies if I’m not.

Curvy women can have a tough time. Especially in the growing up years. The thing is, I don't think you could avoid attention even if you were flat chested.

I don't agree with those who say modest women should never draw notice. A modest pretty woman and an immodest pretty woman will both draw attention. The modest woman just makes it easier for those around her to focus on positive things. They admire her, but they can move on. This is especially important in worship settings.

The immodest woman can derail reverence for God for both men and women. Women can fall into comparison. Men can fall into lust.

 

[St. SteVen]

Wish a lot of young women could hear what Godly men actually think of immodesty.

Tell me if this resonates with any women reading this.

It seems to me that young women need attention. (as do young men - "Hey, look Mom!") Unfortunately we all go about it in the wrong way.

Seems like young women notice what the other girls are doing to get male attention and imitate it. Stuffing tissues in their bra to get more on top. Wearing painted-on jeans to get looks. War paint for makeup. WAY too much makeup! A low top when they start developing. And underwire bra to get things up where they belong... on and on it goes. ???

I really appreciate a women that wears the minimum of makeup. False eyelashes are the WORST! - LOL

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[Wynona]

Tell me if this resonates with any women reading this.

It seems to me that young women need attention. (as do young men - "Hey, look Mom!") Unfortunately we all go about it in the wrong way.

Seems like young women notice what the other girls are doing to get male attention and imitate it. Stuffing tissues in their bra to get more on top. Wearing painted-on jeans to get looks. War paint for makeup. WAY too much makeup! A low top when they start developing. And underwire bra to get things up where they belong... on and on it goes. ???

I really appreciate a women that wears the minimum of makeup. False eyelashes are the WORST! - LOL

/

Feeling risky in saying this but yes, attention is a huge craving. We are supposed to get it from our parents. We're supposed to get it from the Lord in the secret place. We're supposed to get it from our friends and spouses.

Dressing provocative is like the super shortcut. But sometimes I try to remind myself that even if girls do this the wrong way, they still need it.

II don't like when girls share too much skin and private information on social media. But if its a situation where I know them, there's nothing that says I can't reach out and check on them. Start a conversation and really listen to what they have to say.

These youngsters. They cry out for attention! So lets give them some. The good kind.

 

[Rita]

Tell me if this resonates with any women reading this.

It seems to me that young women need attention. (as do young men - "Hey, look Mom!") Unfortunately we all go about it in the wrong way.

Seems like young women notice what the other girls are doing to get male attention and imitate it. Stuffing tissues in their bra to get more on top. Wearing painted-on jeans to get looks. War paint for makeup. WAY too much makeup! A low top when they start developing. And underwire bra to get things up where they belong... on and on it goes. ???

I really appreciate a women that wears the minimum of makeup. False eyelashes are the WORST! - LOL

/

I think this is partly down to social media, the amount of selfies some women/ girls take of themselves, also Hollywood. It’s become a competition and their self esteem seems to be weighed up and impacted by how many likes they get. Affirmation and attention - women have become judged and weighed up on appearance, instead of the inner beauty that can come from the right attitudes ect

 

[Ritajanice]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[St. SteVen]

These youngsters. They cry out for attention! So lets give them some. The good kind.

Oftentimes I will compliment a woman on her hair or a piece of jewelry. Noticing a new hairstyle seems very much appreciated. And I hope they consider these things when seeking more attention.

Humans need attention and encouragement for the things they are doing right. IMHO

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[BlessedPeace]

What's hard to understand given what we see walking around today? Men and women?

Men who dress with their butts hanging out and above the rear waistband of the pants. Which means the front parts are hanging out too.


Straight men don't dress so to show their rear ends to other men.

And womens modesty? Easy rule and equal to that for men.

Don't dress like a skank.

 

[Jay Ross]

The immodest woman can derail reverence for God for both men and women. Women can fall into comparison. Men can fall into lust.

Sorry, some men are not the only gender that can fall into lust, some women of that gender can also fall into lust these days as well even within church circles.

 

[Wynona]

Sorry, some men are not the only gender that can fall into lust, some women of that gender can also fall into lust these days as well even within church circles.

Agreed

 

[ScottA]

I love to read about how different Christian women practice and apply modesty. But it got confusing at times.

I see several camps:

Camp 1: Its not about rules and a dress code, its about the heart!!!

Camp 2: There is a biblical dress code and it shows reverence for God.

Camp 3: Modesty is avoiding drawing attention to yourself at all. Wearing plain/drab or formless clothing is what true modesty is.

I believe all three camps have value and would partially agree with all three. There are biblical guidelines. It is a heart issue. It encompasses conduct and actions. It is good to not dress to draw unnecessary attention to yourself and your sensuality.

But I also disagree a bit. Heart reflects in our clothing choices. Dress codes are sometimes man made traditions. And the Proverbs 31 woman wore silk and purple. She was hardly drab.

So what is modesty?

If a someone has a modest bank account, what does that say?

His money does what it needs to do but not too much else.

I think thats closer.

The problem I ran into is that modest, feminine clothing makes me feel really pretty. Ladylike. Confident. Even Attractive. Am I right back to square one? Is that vanity?

No. I think women attract attention regardless of how they dress. Regardless of how unappealing we may feel, yes the men are noticing you. Being female is more than enough.

Modesty and humility isn't about purposely looking bad or even covering as many features as possible.

The modest woman checks the mirror, feels functional, not overly sexualized, and may even feel cute but then goes on about her day.

She isn't consumed with how bad or good she looks or expensive labels. There's good to accomplish and she's dressed to do it.

I am in love with dresses. Some of the cute ones are very modest! Ive never felt restricted by trying various modesty standards even when I stopped wearing pants for a season.

I never even felt less noticed by people. Especially male people. If anything, that sort of attention increased at times, though it was often more respectful. More politeness and doors being opened.

I used to wonder if that made me less modest. But now I just think modesty is attractive and trying to be unattractive is a fools errand for women. You can unnattract some men...but not all of them.

Your intentions do matter there. My husband explained "dressing single" and "dressing married". At first I didn't get that either.

Then he said "think of a Queen's lady in waiting... she's dressing well to honorably reflect her royal family, not to draw all the honor to herself. But she definitely looks good. Dressing married dresses well to honor God and/or husband and/or children. Dressing single is advertising that you want attention for yourself for your own benefit.

It's good to remember "who told you you were naked?"

As a husband and a father, I like to frame modesty in terms of what and why a women is somewhat "reserved." Indeed, somethings special are reserved as special...or they're not.

More on a male/boy level, I once counselled one of my steps sons to think hard about what kind of girl he wanted to end up with, one who would likely accommodate his current passions, and the next guy's, and the next guy's, or one who said "No" for now; and then do likewise. I'm pretty sure he didn't take my advise. But the point is, we should be that person we hope to meet.

 

[St. SteVen]

If I had to generalize, Id say men favor women with a healthy range of weight, longer hair, a smile, and a feminine dress style.

I agree.

And there is nothing less attractive than obvious makeup. I call it war paint. - LOL (or another word that rhymes with war)

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[Wynona]

I agree.

And there is nothing less attractive than obvious makeup. I call it war paint. - LOL (or another word that rhymes with war)

]

It baffles me that I used to buy into the myth of jumping through hoops just to be considered attractive to a man.

The beauty industry profits if they can convince us that we need their products for this.

The truth? Being a woman is naturally attractive---just don't ruin it. You don't need Cosmopolitan to tell you 78 ways to seduce a man. There's really just one: be female.

If any woman is wondering if they are attractive or not, they can borrow this 1000 point system I came up with.

Were you born female? Go ahead and add 500 points.

Do you appear female without confusion? Go ahead and add 100 more points

Are you under 300 pounds? Go ahead and add another 200 points.

Add another 100 points if you have hair of any kind and it's your natural hair.

Add another 50 if it's long.

Add another 50 if you smile.

Oh and I almost forgot... if you are younger than 60, add a bonus 200 points. But if your over 60, single, and willing to date older men, add that 200 anyway.

Will you attract a royal prince? I don't know. But as long as you are a woman, someone is wanting you. I stand by that. Makeup, products, surgery, etc are simply not necessary.

I can't believe how insecure I was in the past. But it was probably for the best.

 

[Wynona]

You can unnattract some men...but not all of them.

Feminine modesty becomes so easy and fun once you realize how beautiful it is to be a woman. God made us beautiful. That is the default. Eve didn't have clothes, let alone beauty products. Adam didn't care!

Modesty does  not make any woman invisible or beneath notice even if that was your goal!

And yes I did just quote my own post. I cannot stress enough how easy it is to be attractive without skimping on the fabric. Skimpy outfuts aren't just immoral and impractical... they aren't necessary! If you feel bold enough to wear them, chances are youd get noticed with clothes on.

 

[Wynona]

It's good to remember "who told you you were naked?"

As a husband and a father, I like to frame modesty in terms of what and why a women is somewhat "reserved." Indeed, somethings special are reserved as special...or they're not.

More on a male/boy level, I once counselled one of my steps sons to think hard about what kind of girl he wanted to end up with, one who would likely accommodate his current passions, and the next guy's, and the next guy's, or one who said "No" for now; and then do likewise. I'm pretty sure he didn't take my advise. But the point is, we should be that person we hope to meet.

Very wise.

Faithfulness to one man doesn't just happen. You have to practice it.

If a woman hopes to be married, I think she does better to carry herself like someone's wife already. Set apart for the right one, though it's not happened yet.

 

[JohnDB]

I know a story about two single women that were very different.

One was very pretty, well educated, great job, and dressed extremely fashionably and demure. She was also extremely well mannered. A real pleasure to look at.
The other was not well educated, dressed appropriately, but had a huge strawberry that covered half her body from face to toes.
Both were pleasant enough....

However, the lady with the strawberry made bundt cakes on a regular basis for her "singles" small group bible study....made sure that every Sunday morning was covered....because she didn't want people to be hungry and was a very generous person despite her humble means of income.

The lady with the bundt cakes got married and her fiancee got her a top of the line mixer as a wedding gift (as well as a ring) .

Since that time the other lady is still single but had decided to learn how to bake. But she still hasn't figured out how to see the needs of others. And that's the difference between being beautiful and perpetually single or being married....

Men are attracted to caregivers and strength of purpose. Sure, pretty girls get attention but there are tons of them. But someone committed to being generous, kind, and caregiving....guys run over the pretty girls to get the nice girl's attention.

 

[St. SteVen]

It baffles me that I used to buy into the myth of jumping through hoops just to be considered attractive to a man.

The beauty industry profits if they can convince us that we need their products for this.

Agree. It grieves me to see the standard that society sets to judge women by. Or more to the point, the work and expense of women attempting to meet that standard. And the well-meaning gals that that over-do it in an attempt to meet the standard.

I heard a gal telling another gal at work, "I'll show you how to put on lashes." I spoke to the gal she was talking to and said, "Do me a HUGE favor by NOT doing that." I said it quietly, and sincerely. Fortunately, she took my advice. I had earned the right to be heard by treating her kindly. I knew she was someone most men would avoid. I could see how the attention and encouragement brightened her day.

The truth? Being a woman is naturally attractive---just don't ruin it. You don't need Cosmopolitan to tell you 78 ways to seduce a man. There's really just one: be female.

Agree. And the seduction thing is so far over the top. Men are naturally horny. You don't $600 lingerie to turn him on. Ask him what he likes, that will turn him on.

If any woman is wondering if they are attractive or not, they can borrow this 1000 point system I came up with.

Brilliant! (and funny) Thanks!

Oh and I almost forgot... if you are younger than 60, add a bonus 200 points. But if your over 60, single, and willing to date older men, add that 200 anyway.

Even young women are interested in older men now. Young men are too immature for them. And in a lot of cases they were raised without a father. They still long for a strong father-figure in their lives, Such a sad situation. Good news for older guys though, I suppose.

Will you attract a royal prince? I don't know. But as long as you are a woman, someone is wanting you. I stand by that. Makeup, products, surgery, etc are simply not necessary.

Agree again. Plenty of unattractive women that are married. How did that happen? I will tell you right now...

Men are actually afraid of super attractive women. Imagine these women doing it right, only to put themselves "out of reach". There are videos on how a man can get up the nerve to go after them. And some succeed.

I can't believe how insecure I was in the past. But it was probably for the best.

Yes, there is freedom in throwing of the shackles of societal expectations!

Christian men and women need to ask themselves, "As an ambassador for Christ, how should I look and act?"

When I was over in England I took note of these postal marks.



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[MA2444]

Your intentions do matter there. My husband explained "dressing single" and "dressing married". At first I didn't get that either.

It's not hard to tell the difference between a cherry tree and a peach tree. Women either dress like they're on the market or they dont. the outfit they choose, their countenance and the way they walk screams out a lot of information that isn't hard to see.

When a husband starts becoming concerned about how his Wife dresses then it's reasonable to assume that she has alreeady cheated on him. There's no need for an argument and almost anything she says will be an excuse that belies her disrespect for her husband.

He's my best friend and that's all it is.
It's a girls night out thing and I like to go with them.
They give me fashion tips, what's wrong with that?

Married women dont have girls night out with single women. No more boy gender friends even if she known them all her life. Dressing like she's on the market should be a wake up call for the husbands. No need to argue with her, if she wants to be on the market and look for a better man, then she shouldnt have got married. Men want to trust their wives and to show it. Some women will try to take advantage of that and get them to believe a line of crap. A man's wife is the last person that the man should simp to! Help her pack her bags.

Modesty is more than dress code. Women know how to dress modestly, carry themselves modestly, and behave modestly. These women who may try to say the husband is mean because he wants her to stay home is not modest at all. A married woman who wants to be married and loves her husband would rather stay home with her family than girls night out. That's being modest. Or go out with the Family.

It's like they say...if you gotta ask, then you already know the answer.

 

[MA2444]

I heard a gal telling another gal at work, "I'll show you how to put on lashes." I spoke to the gal she was talking to and said, "Do me a HUGE favor by NOT doing that." I said it quietly, and sincerely. Fortunately, she took my advice. I had earned the right to be heard by treating her kindly. I knew she was someone most men would avoid. I could see how the attention and encouragement brightened her day.

The force was with you, lol. Do you know where the use of long eyelashes first came into use for women? It's nasty, I dont even want to explain it myself. Wow.

No wonder I've never liked those girls who dress up like that!

Cinderella, mmm. She had it going on lol.

 

[MA2444]

Sorry, some men are not the only gender that can fall into lust, some women of that gender can also fall into lust these days as well even within church circles.

It's a statistical fact as I understand it, that women cheat on their spouses much more than men cheat. What these women can look forward to is being single and no man ever taking them to wife. Pretty soon, they're 40ish and losing more value by then. So they say yes more and men jump right on it most times, but not with a ring!

So more single women and single mothers are on the market and at the same time, less women overall are being asked to come Wife with a man. Because most men arent quite as stupid as the women think they are. Us men can tell the difference in potential wife material and the girls who are not.

The young girls (it seems like) are starting to look at men like a business lately? They got 3 or 4 kids by 3 or 4 baby daddies and have all of them on the hook for child support and gimme gimmee gimmee to finance their lifestyle of getting attention.

That's all they bring to the table! They want the man to provide & protect, that is what a man does...ok fine, what does the girl do? What does she bring to the table as valuable and desirable to man enough to want to wife her?!