Glad to see the thread still lively. My husband, roommate, and I have all been working really hard to unpack.
I love unpacking way more than packing. This place is lovely. I feel like I get to show off all my homemaking skills that I learned over the years. We may have lived in a dingy trailer, but I learned to keep it clean and be grateful.
We didn't have to live that modestly. My husband felt led to lead his parents out of constant financial crisis mode. Two years later, it seems like things are getting better.
I admire your husband's call for frugality and your grace in accepting the gift of financial security. I highly recommend the book,
The Richest Man in Babylon. It is very short book that delves into the practical meaning of living below your means. Chapter after chapter the author explores the realization that living with a 10% cushion means you have to take into account all the bumps in the road because he kept having to dig into his supposed cushion.
By the end of the book, the main character realizes he has to live at 50% of his income to ensure that the upper limit of spending never exceeds 90% of his income. My wife is a spender and always lives paycheck to paycheck. Recently, she called me at work in a panic when the vacuum died. The reason for her panic is she was spending the cushion of 3 months expenses (that I gave her) and had nothing left for this predictable eventuality. I say "predictable eventuality" because it is not properly even a crisis.
A very overlooked expense the book explores is MAINTENANCE costs. General rules of thumb include 2% of the value of the house and 10% of the monthly car payment. (I pay cash for my cars but still estimate what a monthly payment would be and save that each month knowing it is coming one of these days in addition to saving for my next car). My tenant who just moved out borrowed my car the week before Christmas at lunch time as we work together. He ended up totaling the car. Although not a very nice Christmas present, I was at least comforted by the fact that I had anticipated this eventuality over the
15 years I drove my previous car. (The car before that one was also driven for 15 years.)
So, my poor wife struggles to recognize money saved must be allocated for these very predictable maintenance costs not spent frivolously. Just yesterday she bought seat cushions for the dining room chairs. No matter how many times I tell her to leave all but necessary household expenses she's paying for to me, she constantly makes such impulse buys for things we often don't need and I don't want. Another great example is when she bought the trendy Keurig coffee maker for one cup. This is the biggest joke in the world because she drinks a pot herself every day. Total waste given her usage. She did use it a few times for the novelty but not since she first got it.
A few months before, she was in an abject panic when her car needed "unexpected" maintenance. The money for the seat cushions, Keurig (+1,000 other things) need to be set aside for the next vacuum cleaner, the next car maintenance bill, the next plumbing, electrical or health care expense. Don't be like my wife, the poorest woman in Babylon, living way above her means. (At least she does not have credit card debt.) The book convincingly explains
we have far more control over our spending than we do over our income. I bet your husband would like the book.