Dear sister, Your salvation depends on REALLY knowing.
John 17:1-3 (emphasis added)
“Father... this is the way to have eternal life—to (REALLY) know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth.
Your contentious spirit, giant ego and refusal to take responsibility is keeping you from God, keeping you from REALLY knowing the way to have eternal life. This is why I often say I will pray for you. (Maybe you are like my wife, taking on too much responsibility, refuses to accept the limits of what she is responsible for. Yesterday, she was at the hospital for 7 hours to be with her former mother-in-law. Now, she is paying the price, in bed and in pain. She over did it. And taking on too much responsibility, is paradoxically just another way of not being responsible. Not enjoying a beautiful Sunday with me.) Exodus 18:17-22
Ever watch Empire Strikes Back? Luke asks Yoda how he will know the good side from the bad side. Yoda gives a master class that applies in the REAL world. "You will know when you are calm, at peace, passive. Yoda sensed a lot of anger in Luke and I sense a lack of peace and lack of passivity in you. (You are not wrangling with me; you are wrangling with God.)