Strength and Honor: Triumphing over Feminism

[Wynona]

When people say "women should be able to do/can do anything men do", how often do they mean demonstrate self-discipline, drive, consistency, and self-sacrifice?

Or do they more often mean "we women should be able to do all the things we feel like doing with no pushback from others"?

If a man, even a very overweight man announced that he wanted to swim 3 miles in the freezing cold ocean each day for six months...a lot of people would root for him and cheer him on.

When I say I want to be an excellent wife, mother, and keep my house clean, people generally say I ought to take it easy and not stress myself unnecessarily.

If feminism is so into gender equity, why aren't they either telling men to take it easier or telling women to demonstrate more self-control or discipline?

 

[Mink57]

When people say "women should be able to do/can do anything men do", how often do they mean demonstrate self-discipline, drive, consistency, and self-sacrifice

Or do they more often mean "we women should be able to do all the things we feel like doing with no pushback from others"?

It's not ONLY about what women "should" or "shouldn't" do, or what men "should" or "shouldn't" do. What universally accepted authority wrote these rules, anyway?

If a man, even a very overweight man announced that he wanted to swim 3 miles in the freezing cold ocean each day for six months...a lot of people would root for him and cheer him on.

Right. And if a very overweight woman announced the same thing....? People would probably root for her and cheer her on, too.
Either way, SOME people would cheer and root for him. And some people would probably sneer at him because of his weight. And while some people would cheer for the overweight woman, some would sneer at her not ONLY because of her weight, but because she's a woman. She "shouldn't" be attempting something like that. It's not 'ladylike'. She'll never make it. She's not built to do that.

At first it was believed (mostly by men) that women were incapable of doing some things a man could do. But when women proved that to not be true, the thinking switched. Instead of saying what women couldn't do, they say what women shouldn't do.

The truth is, that men and women have more similarities than differences. The differences are mostly found regarding reproductive tendencies. Other than that well...women cry, men cry. Men get jealous, women get jealous. Men laugh, women laugh. Women gain weight, men gain weight. Women nurture children, and more and more men are nurturing children these days.

When I say I want to be an excellent wife, mother, and keep my house clean, people generally say I ought to take it easy and not stress myself unnecessarily.

What 'people' are you talking about? At the end of the day, does it really matter what some people on the internet say? Out of all the people you personally deal with on a daily basis, how many of them are of the opinion that you should 'take it easy and not stress yourself unnecessarily?" What is even meant by "unnecessarily"?

A few months after my first daughter was born, a group of us were sitting outside, shooting the breeze about childcare, the price of diapers, and the like. All of us had infants under 6 months old. Three out of four of us also had jobs outside the home. The woman who was a SAHM expressed SHOCK (and slight contempt...or was it jealousy?) at how we could hold a job AND take care of our children. Two out of four of us worked from home. As she kept talking, we realized that she had been setting unrealistic standards for herself, her home and her family.

If feminism is so into gender equity, why aren't they either telling men to take it easier or telling women to demonstrate more self-control or discipline?

Who says that all those 'people' who are telling you to 'take it easy' are doing so because they're feminists? Who says that those same people are NOT telling some men to 'take it easy'?

 

[Wynona]

What 'people' are you talking about? At the end of the day, does it really matter what some people on the internet say? Out of all the people you personally deal with on a daily basis, how many of them are of the opinion that you should 'take it easy and not stress yourself unnecessarily?" What is even meant by "unnecessarily"?

My family members and anyone I've shared my goals with who was not in a Christian homemaker social media group or Christian forum. Ive never had a completely positive response outside this context who wasn't my husband.

They say "take it easy" as if I am doing the most just for wanting to have a standard at all.

Who says that all those 'people' who are telling you to 'take it easy' are doing so because they're feminists? Who says that those same people are NOT telling some men to 'take it easy'?

Ive heard of feminists speak of equality with men in terms of high powered work positions, sexual freedom, and dressing and acting however women want. I have yet to hear a feminist, historical or modern, talk of equality in terms of challenging yourself to be disciplined and exhibit self control to reach your goals.

They tend to covet the results of male privelige but not be interested in competing in terms of sucking it up and not making excuses for yourself.

And I have yet to hear a feminist outside of the Dadvocate, tell men as a whole to take it easier. I suppose there are always exceptions to any rule.

 

[Biblepaige]

Jesus destroyed the Orthodox rules of his day as pertained to the role of women in Hebrew culture.
What a blessed new beginning for his church.

Who among us rightly informed by his treasured spirit of truth would ever condemn or argue against that.

 

[Wrangler]

It's not ONLY about what women "should" or "shouldn't" do, or what men "should" or "shouldn't" do. What universally accepted authority wrote these rules, anyway?

God.

 

[Wrangler]

The truth is, that men and women have more similarities than differences.

True but the French have a saying, "Viva La Difference." Amen and amen.

In my view, woman's power comes from their femininity, their feminine energy. Feminism suppress this real power women have and tries to get women to act like men. We weren't made to compete but to cooperate.

 

[Wynona]

Jesus destroyed the Orthodox rules of his day as pertained to the role of women in Hebrew culture.
What a blessed new beginning for his church.

Hi Biblepaige. Can you explain what you mean by this? Do you have an example?

I'm asking neutrally but curious. Am interested in your perspective even if we don't agree.

 

[Wrangler]

I have found that, if anything, the amount of freedom I have is challenging at times. How do I prioritize the right things in a day to keep things running smoothly and make life better for us?

I'm so proud of you for having your priorities straight. My wife de-prioritizes needful in the house.

 

[Biblepaige]

Hi Biblepaige. Can you explain what you mean by this? Do you have an example?

I'm asking neutrally but curious. Am interested in your perspective even if we don't agree.

I think the example is found in Jesus testament. I'll leave you to find it.

 

[Wynona]

I'm so proud of you for having your priorities straight. My wife de-prioritizes needful in the house.

This is definitely a skillset that takes willingness, effort, and time to learn. You are the best person to help, unless she's just not willing. That, I have no advice for.

 

[Wynona]

I think the example is found in Jesus testament. I'll leave you to find it.

I disagree. I love the New Testament. I believe it supports patriarchy when done in accordance with the fruits of the spirit.

When people claim something, it's also good if they have a way to back it up and Im happy to hear them do it.

 

[Biblepaige]

I disagree. I love the New Testament. I believe it supports patriarchy when done in accordance with the fruits of the spirit.

When people claim something, it's also good if they have a way to back it up and Im happy to hear them do it.

You don't think the new testament under Christ can back it up. Yet,it does.

Into whom did Jesus reveal his resurrection first? And why were they there to stand as witness?

Your posts demonstrait a bias that the artificial claim you make for being open to others opinion cannot overcome.

Jesus was a feminist.

That will no doubt bring you upset. However, if one knows the culture he was born into and the previous example he set to overcome it,they'll know it is true.

Your notion of feminism is your hurdle to overcome. It is not what Jesus defined and lived among the women of his church.

You cannot know Jesus freed women over 2000 years ago. And his Disciples lived the truth of that.

It is there in writing. You do not see it. And I cannot open your eyes to it. That is God's prerogative should it be his plan for you.

God be praised.
Enjoy your days ahead.

 

[Wynona]

You cannot know Jesus freed women over 2000 years ago. And his Disciples lived the truth of that.

Christianity does affirm women. It did this before modern feminism became a thing.

It is there in writing. You do not see it. And I cannot open your eyes to it. That is God's prerogative should it be his plan for you.

YIf you won't give verses or support for your claim that Jesus was a feminist, you've simply left the conversation. It's not a me issue.

 

[Biblepaige]

Christianity does affirm women. It did this before modern feminism became a thing.

Modern feminism? Interesting. That's a term that would have been applied by Pharisees witnessing Jesus in the company of his women Disciples.

YIf you won't give verses or support for your claim that Jesus was a feminist, you've simply left the conversation. It's not a me issue.

It is your issue though.
This is your thread that announces that to this community.

I entered this discussion and learned that very thing. This is your issue. You don't see the verses I know exist though they're right there.
You have the eyes to see but you do not.

Your issue is with something greater.

May God help you.

Now, I am leaving this discussion. Because it is filed as your darkness.

 

[Wrangler]

This is definitely a skillset that takes willingness, effort, and time to learn. You are the best person to help, unless she's just not willing. That, I have no advice for.

Hmmm. I think her mindset is somewhat complicated on the topic.

Her parents were rather diminished capacity. Neither could parent properly. She's told this story many times, especially after a few drinks, that when she was 3 years old, she helped her older brother get dressed so he could catch the head start bus. I believe this traumatized her in several ways.

First, anxiety. Faced with a task, there is a time pressure element she carries into adulthood that is not driven by actual circumstances in her life today. For instance, a few months ago she texted me at work about needing a new vacuum cleaner. I told her I get paid the next day (Friday) so we can research then and make a buying decision over the weekend. When Friday afternoon came, she literally cried that I was not already eager to buy on pay day.

Second, is the sense that the task may be beyond her capability. Too much responsibility was foisted on her at too young an age. This effectively destroyed her self-esteem. Every task initially seems taunting to her. Because of her incompetent parents, she had to rely more on her masculine energy to get out of life what she needs. She continues to struggle with embracing her femininity, as doing so exacerbates her anxiety. (More personal than the typical posts I write. Let's keep it between us).

 

[Wynona]

Hmmm. I think her mindset is somewhat complicated on the topic.

Her parents were rather diminished capacity. Neither could parent properly. She's told this story many times, especially after a few drinks, that when she was 3 years old, she helped her older brother get dressed so he could catch the head start bus. I believe this traumatized her in several ways.

First, anxiety. Faced with a task, there is a time pressure element she carries into adulthood that is not driven by actual circumstances in her life today. For instance, a few months ago she texted me at work about needing a new vacuum cleaner. I told her I get paid the next day (Friday) so we can research then and make a buying decision over the weekend. When Friday afternoon came, she literally cried that I was not already eager to buy on pay day.

Second, is the sense that the task may be beyond her capability. Too much responsibility was foisted on her at too young an age. This effectively destroyed her self-esteem. Every task initially seems taunting to her. Because of her incompetent parents, she had to rely more on her masculine energy to get out of life what she needs. She continues to struggle with embracing her femininity, as doing so exacerbates her anxiety. (More personal than the typical posts I write. Let's keep it between us).

No one can overcome her fear and anxiety for her. The choice to lean on Christ when were afraid to be feminine is not the obvious one. But it can be done.

I have my own father wounds, though he worked hard to provide for us. I thought this was my identity but God truly is the Father I can count on emotionally.

When I'm scared, angry, or upet, I can share with Him. I can lean on His Word for balance and comfort.

Emotional self control is something we can learn in Christ. To be content in all circumstances. This comes from staying in the Word until it sets us free. The Word living on the inside of us with the Spirit gives self-control.

But we have to let go of our own understanding, our own ways of doing this. In the case of a husband dealing with a wife, I don't know if I have proper advice or even if it's my place to give any.

But if I were speaking to her, Id tell her that strength, comfort, and eventually honor are found by staying in the Word. There is no way I could overcome my vanity, lust, gluttony, and pride on my own. Only when I got in that Bible seriously and consistently did I make any progress spiritually and demonstrate a more trustworthy and reliable side to my husband.

God can be trusted today. His ways are so much higher than ours. His Scripture offends our culture. Our culture and the world are passing away. God's Word endures forever.

 

[Wynona]

Modern feminism? Interesting. That's a term that would have been applied by Pharisees witnessing Jesus in the company of his women Disciples.

It is your issue though.
This is your thread that announces that to this community.

I entered this discussion and learned that very thing. This is your issue. You don't see the verses I know exist though they're right there.
You have the eyes to see but you do not.

Your issue is with something greater.

May God help you.

Now, I am leaving this discussion. Because it is filed as your darkness.

Thanks for stopping by. God bless you

 

[Wrangler]

I don't know if I have proper advice or even if it's my place to give any.

But if I were speaking to her, Id tell her that strength, comfort, and eventually honor are found by staying in the Word. There is no way I could overcome my vanity, lust, gluttony, and pride on my own.

Thank you for sharing your heart. I've tried this approach and was met with scorn. I believe the trauma affects her subconsciously. That is, Emotional self control alludes her when certain triggers are present before she can think it through.

I told her counselor a scenario that contrasted nicely with the vacuum cleaner. Although vacation planning took longer and was far more complicated, she went through the analysis of data with me with grace and compassion. For sure you are right in that she needs Christ, as we all do (even Mink).

 

[Mink57]

God.

God is not a universally accepted authority.

 

[Mink57]

True but the French have a saying, "Viva La Difference." Amen and amen.

So, in your view, exactly WHAT are the differences?

In my view, woman's power comes from their femininity, their feminine energy. Feminism suppress this real power women have and tries to get women to act like men.

The goals of Feminism are complex. While some more radical feminists would love to see women act like men, it's not the goal of feminism in of itself.

We weren't made to compete but to cooperate.

I agree. We should cooperate with each other. But then again, your idea of 'cooperation' may be quite different from mine.