How do you handle a lifetime of struggle

[hies]

The physical, including brain damage from trauma, needs to sorted out first. Hey hies, you in the northeast too!

You feed a starving man first.

What did you mean by "you need a starving man first"? I ain't too bright sorry lol. But as I said before, trauma is easily cured with good relationships. Also, develop a good relationship with God first, and the rest will follow.

 

[SavedInHim]

Thanks. I am fine with life getting heavy because I know everyone's life does at times. What I struggle with is when the heaviness doesn't go away, like dealing with something hard with no break and no end in sight and dealing with it for a lifetime.

When you say life gets heavy, what are you saying? Maybe you could try to identify exactly what it is that's making life "heavy" and try to deal with so it doesn't keep happening over and over.

 

[Hepzibah]

Sorry hies, it doesn't work like that. cPTSD is damage that needs repairing. Yes a loving relationship helps, but in 50 years of my walk with God as a born again believer, it has only gone so far with recovery and the Lord is bringing out some really deep stuff now.

Recovery can be very fast, the CCF says a year at least (she had alcoholic parents).

 

[Hepzibah]

Feeding a starving man refers to the knowledge gained from missionaries that you see to the physical needs before you preach.

 

[hies]

Sorry hies, it doesn't work like that. cPTSD is damage that needs repairing. Yes a loving relationship helps, but in 50 years of my walk with God as a born again believer, it has only gone so far with recovery and the Lord is bringing out some really deep stuff now.

Recovery can be very fast, the CCF says a year at least (she had alcoholic parents).

Again I may be projecting, but I've experienced severe PTSD personally, and good relationships (especially with God) are precisely what helped me. I won't go into my past, but I will tell you it was like living in hell.

Feeding a starving man refers to the knowledge gained from missionaries that you see to the physical needs before you preach.

I completely and totally agree that we need to focus on others rather than ourselves. Feeling like you were important for helping someone while simultaneously realzing that you're only a very small part of all of the love in the universe is truly a beautiful feeling. That only magnifies just how incredible the Lord is, doesn't it? Again, good relationships are the solution. And remember to be honest with yourself. If a relationship is not good, don't pretend it is.

 

[Hepzibah]

Again I may be projecting, but I've experienced severe PTSD personally, and good relationships (especially with God) are precisely what helped me. I won't go into my past, but I will tell you it was like living in hell.


I completely and totally agree that we need to focus on others rather than ourselves. Feeling like you were important for helping someone while simultaneously realzing that you're only a very small part of all of the love in the universe is truly a beautiful feeling. Again, good relationships are the solution. And remember to be honest with yourself. If a relationship is not good, don't pretend it is.

Sorry to hear about your own PTSD but cPTSD is not the same. It is far more complex. Yes being a believer helped me survive but did not get down to what recent research is showing about the physical damage apart from psychological issues.

Also the sort of support needed is best coming from others with cPTSD.

 

[hies]

Sorry to hear about your own PTSD but cPTSD is not the same. It is far more complex. Yes being a believer helped me survive but did not get down to what recent research is showing about the physical damage apart from psychological issues.

Also the sort of support needed is best coming from others with cPTSD.

Well my PTSD is cPTSD. It relates to my mother, father, step-father and sister. I'm sure there was physical damage to my brain too, but I also believe it has been healed. Again I don't want to get into details, but it was a lifelong struggle for me. A good relationship with God is what brought me out of that pain. The most important thing is to be completely and totally honest with yourself.

 

[Hepzibah]

I agree with you, honesty is needed, well for everything.

I would have said the same as you 4 months ago and told people that God had healed me but I still had symptoms like anxiety and insomnia but thought they were due to cfs.

Then a traumatic time I went through recently brought it all to the surface and it is like a veil has been lifted and my whole life story now makes sense. I have also gained compassion for myself and able to stop beating myself up over everything. This happened in my 74th year.

 

[hies]

@suzzeeb

Welcome!

I have been dealing with a frequent cause of the symptoms you mentioned these last few months, which is complex PTSD. I knew that I had experienced abuses in my childhood, especially neglect, but had no idea that they had caused so many problems during my life (long life).

Shame and low self esteem are two of them but mostly the way one relates to people and tending to isolate oneself. I started to listen to the many videos on YouTube and already have noticed a big change, just by education myself with trauma experts.

One thing I found out is that counselling often makes it worse or at least does no help much. I have had some in the past and it did little to help. Actually it is hard to find really good trauma ones and even more so, ones that understand family dynamics where there is a narcissist in charge and the victim is scapegoated.

I was amazed to discover that any abuse long term in childhood causes actual brain damage and the good news is that one can recover from it with psychotherapies and body work. This is why just talking does not cure it.

Meanwhile I did find that b vitamins have always helped me, as they help brain function, especially b1 and b2 and eating a 'clean' diet has gone a long way in helping me cope.

I do pray for you that the Lord will bring you information that will show you what is causing your problems and put you on the journey of recovery. A chat with your doctor about this cause might get you help if indeed it is at the root of it.

If not. there is plenty of help out there to do some biohacking to find the cause which the medical establishment miss like b12 deficiency which does not always show in testing.

Also look at the Crappy Childhood Fairy (I know) who says she believes in God but may/may not be Christian but at least she has high moral standards.

God bless!

These terms you use, 'narcissist' and 'scapegoat' are just ways of justifying what other people have done in your own eyes. How about in God's eyes? Everyone is selfish. Why does this 'narcissist' act the way they do? No one, and I mean absolutely no one deserves what Jesus Christ did for them.

Take a look at yourself, and how you've treat others as a result of your 'trauma'. I'm not saying your trauma is unimportant, but in the grand scheme of everything, it really is meaningless. To God you are important, but to the rest of the world, you don't mean anything except for what you can offer them. God doesn't care about what you can offer him at all. He has already offered you everything, for nothing but your willingness to accept it in return. Focus on him and what he has done for you. Not the other way around. All he wants is your heart.

 

[Hepzibah]

The terms are useful for man to enable him to find help. There are definite signs of these conditions though of course everyone is selfish, but in grades. These are people who destroy lives in measurable ways.

Oh I know that I have hurt people by the damage done to me. I received no love through my childhood and did not know how to give love but of course finding Christ did make a big difference but I was shut down emotionally.

Complete healing will mean that I can give the support that is needed by many. I can already spot an unhealed cPTSD'ed person a mile away Christian or not. I don't suppose you think that is important, just throw the gospel at them and God can sort it out eh?

You sound rather bitter.

 

[hies]

The terms are useful for man to enable him to find help. There are definite signs of these conditions though of course everyone is selfish, but in grades. These are people who destroy lives in measurable ways.

Oh I know that I have hurt people by the damage done to me. I received no love through my childhood and did not know how to give love but of course finding Christ did make a big difference but I was shut down emotionally.

Complete healing will mean that I can give the support that is needed by many. I can already spot an unhealed cPTSD'ed person a mile away Christian or not. I don't suppose you think that is important, just throw the gospel at them and God can sort it out eh?

You sound rather bitter.

Bitter? I am healed of my trauma, I couldn't be happier. I'm angry at the lies you believe, because I also believed them. Your life (and mine) is absolutely meaningless to everyone else but God. If it came down to it, they'd throw you off a bridge to save themselves. Even this 'scapegoat' would. "7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:7-8. The God of this universe; the most important opinion, chose to die for us. It's honestly so incredible you can't even describe it in words once you realize it. Just look around you. Every single thing will pass away, but his words will never pass away. And now you're in his word. His will. You're in him. He will never blot your name out of the book of life. Just imagine what incredible glory awaits you for all eternity. An infinite amount of time with the creator. Set your mind on things above, not on Earthly things that will pass away like a wild flower.

Again this website helped me so much Random Bible Verse

 

[Hepzibah]

Okay then hies, what are the lies I believe? Fyi I met with Jesus on 23rd September 1973 at 9pm when He showed me that He had died for my sins on the cross when I asked God to show me the truth..

 

[hies]

Okay then hies, what are the lies I believe? Fyi I met with Jesus on 23rd September 1973 at 9pm when He showed me that He had died for my sins on the cross when I asked God to show me the truth..

You're still clinging to the pain other people have caused you, as if it means anything. This too shall pass.

 

[Hepzibah]

You're still clinging to the pain other people have caused you, as if it means anything. This too shall pass.

I forgave them ages ago. The unhealed damage was to the brain not the soul.

 

[hies]

I forgave them ages ago. The unhealed damage was to the brain not the soul.

Then know this: nothing good will ever pass away. God will restore, and make better, as he always has done.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever. - Psalm 73:26

 

[Hepzibah]

Non Christians get to heal this damage too. I have absolutely no doubt I am healing very quickly now.

One thing I have done for a very long time was twist myself like a pretzel as Americans like to say, to please my family and try to have a relationship with them till at Christmas when the abuse was very bad and traumatized me.

So I know now that I must withdraw from them and get on with my healing of course praying for them but very few people so evil repent. The devil no doubt kept me trying with them.

 

[hies]

Non Christians get to heal this damage too. I have absolutely no doubt I am healing very quickly now.

One thing I have done for a very long time was twist myself like a pretzel as Americans like to say, to please my family and try to have a relationship with them till at Christmas when the abuse was very bad and traumatized me.

So I know now that I must withdraw from them and get on with my healing of course praying for them but very few people so evil repent. The devil no doubt kept me trying with them.

You of course need to know when to give up with people. When to dust off your feet and say enough is enough, I'll trust the Lord with the rest. But my question to you is: why do you call them evil? Do you think God could not save them?

 

[Hepzibah]

I believe there is a point where a person's conscience is so seared that they are beyond hope. God will have given them many chances. Of course God can do anything, but these people have 50 years of prayers behind them.

 

[hies]

I believe there is a point where a person's conscience is so seared that they are beyond hope. God will have given them many chances. Of course God can do anything, but these people have 50 years of prayers behind them.

So don't worry. You've given all you can. God can do more, and will do more if it means their salvation. He literally will do everything in his power to save every single person. As long as it doesn't interfere with their free will, God will do it. If creating an entire universe, humbling himself to the role of a servant in that universe, and dying on a cross for us isn't everything he could do then what possibly more could he do? But try to realize why you are trying to convince them. Is it because you genuinely only want them to be saved out of love, or secretly because you care about what they think so much? I found when I started realzing the former more often that I would 'give up' on people much, much easier. I'd say "yeah, you've annoyed me, so I can't be bothered with this conversation anymore, and I trust that God is going to show you one way or another someday, so honestly, it doesn't even matter anymore", but before that I would say to myself, "why do you not believe what I'm saying? Is it because what I'm saying is wrong? How could you possibly disagree with me???" - I was filled with doubt and pride - now this may not apply to you, but if it does, I hope this helps.

 

[Hepzibah]

@suzzeeb sorry for the distraction on your thread. We have been too influenced by the myth that the Christian life is all fluffy and joyful when it involves much suffering if we are to get close to Christ. It was when l thanked God for the bad things in my life too that things began to change.

I pray for you.

@hies l pray for you too. You have a lot of years in front of you yet.