“I think you’re a scary person at times” I say to my infernalist mother who was screaming at my sister on the phone around 9:56 PM Oct 20 2023. “If she doesn’t do this everything will be fine” she says so I calmly reply “Well, even if she didn’t do this random thing you don’t want her to do, you’re still the type of person who gets angry too easily.”
“Of course I have to get mad!” my mother shouts back. My sister is staying at her friends house and my mother wants to ban my sister from all sleepovers. My mother asks if I’m thinking about my sisters safety. I tell my mother that it makes sense why my sister wants to stay away from my mother because of my mother’s abusive behavior in the past. “Why did she go there!” she screams at me. My mother tells me that she has not the one who poisoned my sister’s mind but rather other people “Don’t blame on me! You have to see that these people are the ones ruining her life” “And you have been negatively affecting [sister’s name] life for years” I reply.
My mother says that she’s been praying something. She asks if you would leave a child outside at night, but I reply to her telling her that she’s at a friends house. There are many places that I consider much safer than in the household of an emotionally violent mother. “They can poison her and she will not die right away!” my mother describes the harm her friends could cause to her. Obviously, there’s a risk, as with many things in life, but considering her mother’s mistreatment of my sister for years, I see staying with my mother as a far greater risk
“That’s the reason why she stayed there at the school! They’re not thinking about her safety! They told [sister’s name] to wait at the school!” she shouts. it seems they were at the school around 6:00 PM. “Does she want me to die!?” my mother says on the wooden stairs behind me. I tell her that I don’t want her to die and ask her why she assumes her daughter would want that. I don’t think my sister wants that either. I also don’t think the LORD God wants anyone to die a permanent death. All will have faith alone in the LORD God Christ and thus gain permanent life.
```Proverbs 26:21 As charcoal is to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. ```
My mother says that she knows of the quotes I write about her and I describe to her that I make it obvious because I’ve been plainly telling her about it.
And my mother says that I will have a problem with one of my children and that will be the payback for what I’m doing to her. “Everything has a payback. That should not go out to anybody” and I tell her “Should I not expose the abuse in order to keep my sister safe?” so she says “You will see there’s a payback for that. I’m not telling anyone about our problems here. I’m not telling anyone”. People who are being abused have the right to share their experiences of being abused, even though the abuser is against the sharing of these experiences.
“And maybe that’s the reason why these problems have continued for so long, because you have refused to share it with others.” I tell her thus she replies “So mark this day that I tell you that you will realize someday what you’re doing is not supposed to be you’re not supposed to be doing that and right now you will not realize that but when you get older and you get wiser you realize it” she tells me. Because of these stories that I have shared I have been able to get support from people online, therefore I do not regret it. I continue to vent about these issues, because the keep happening over and over again. That’s why I timestamp these. I type these as the conflict occurs. It also serves as a memory to myself. Because I have forgotten much of my childhood. As a reminder of myself of my mother’s abusive acts, so I don’t fall for the same traps again.
“In my perspective I spent like an hour or two with my friends because it’s a Friday and I spent the rest of this day studying. This conversation is insulting and I don’t want to continue it anymore. I came in here being all happy. At the end of the day this isn’t a big deal and I don’t want to tell you things because you get mad about these things. … I spent over 5 hours studying just sitting and studying of course I want to do something else after that.” My sister says, she has returned 10:35 PM. I agree with my sister here, I honestly don’t’ see anything inherently wrong with just hanging out with friends.
“I don’t want you guys to realize your mistakes when I’m dead! Even if you cry no one’s going to hear you” my mother tells the both of us. “I can see your future guys. I can see your future. If there’s still a future” she continues. But does not the LORD hear all our cries?
```Psalm 34:17 NRSVue When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles. ```
“Everything I’m telling you. Put the date. Mark the date! This will happen. Put the date. If you’re writing it [my name] make sure you’re writing it correctly, every single thing. Mark this day! That I am telling you. You will have a problem with your children the same way like this and I don’t know how you’ll handle it. Today’s generation. This generation is getting worse. It’s worse. It’s worse than my generation.”. I don’t see the point in randomly discriminating against a person just because they’re a particular generation. But, since my mother is so insistent on having her words be remembered, here they are, my friends, for all of you to see.
“I hope I don’t die of heartattack. I hope I don’t die today. Because things here will be in ruin. Everything. Everything will be in in ruin here. This house will be ruined. You know how important the household has a mother.” my mother says through sobbing. My sister replies “You hurt me” saying of the time when she was crying and being shouted at by her mother. “It’s stuff like this that make me not happy to be home. I’m making my life fuller. You know who’s ruining it sometimes, you.” my sister says to my mother. “You’re not gentle, you’re not understanding” my sister says to my mother.
“Of course I have to get mad!” my mother shouts back. My sister is staying at her friends house and my mother wants to ban my sister from all sleepovers. My mother asks if I’m thinking about my sisters safety. I tell my mother that it makes sense why my sister wants to stay away from my mother because of my mother’s abusive behavior in the past. “Why did she go there!” she screams at me. My mother tells me that she has not the one who poisoned my sister’s mind but rather other people “Don’t blame on me! You have to see that these people are the ones ruining her life” “And you have been negatively affecting [sister’s name] life for years” I reply.
My mother says that she’s been praying something. She asks if you would leave a child outside at night, but I reply to her telling her that she’s at a friends house. There are many places that I consider much safer than in the household of an emotionally violent mother. “They can poison her and she will not die right away!” my mother describes the harm her friends could cause to her. Obviously, there’s a risk, as with many things in life, but considering her mother’s mistreatment of my sister for years, I see staying with my mother as a far greater risk
“That’s the reason why she stayed there at the school! They’re not thinking about her safety! They told [sister’s name] to wait at the school!” she shouts. it seems they were at the school around 6:00 PM. “Does she want me to die!?” my mother says on the wooden stairs behind me. I tell her that I don’t want her to die and ask her why she assumes her daughter would want that. I don’t think my sister wants that either. I also don’t think the LORD God wants anyone to die a permanent death. All will have faith alone in the LORD God Christ and thus gain permanent life.
```Proverbs 26:21 As charcoal is to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. ```
My mother says that she knows of the quotes I write about her and I describe to her that I make it obvious because I’ve been plainly telling her about it.
And my mother says that I will have a problem with one of my children and that will be the payback for what I’m doing to her. “Everything has a payback. That should not go out to anybody” and I tell her “Should I not expose the abuse in order to keep my sister safe?” so she says “You will see there’s a payback for that. I’m not telling anyone about our problems here. I’m not telling anyone”. People who are being abused have the right to share their experiences of being abused, even though the abuser is against the sharing of these experiences.
“And maybe that’s the reason why these problems have continued for so long, because you have refused to share it with others.” I tell her thus she replies “So mark this day that I tell you that you will realize someday what you’re doing is not supposed to be you’re not supposed to be doing that and right now you will not realize that but when you get older and you get wiser you realize it” she tells me. Because of these stories that I have shared I have been able to get support from people online, therefore I do not regret it. I continue to vent about these issues, because the keep happening over and over again. That’s why I timestamp these. I type these as the conflict occurs. It also serves as a memory to myself. Because I have forgotten much of my childhood. As a reminder of myself of my mother’s abusive acts, so I don’t fall for the same traps again.
“In my perspective I spent like an hour or two with my friends because it’s a Friday and I spent the rest of this day studying. This conversation is insulting and I don’t want to continue it anymore. I came in here being all happy. At the end of the day this isn’t a big deal and I don’t want to tell you things because you get mad about these things. … I spent over 5 hours studying just sitting and studying of course I want to do something else after that.” My sister says, she has returned 10:35 PM. I agree with my sister here, I honestly don’t’ see anything inherently wrong with just hanging out with friends.
“I don’t want you guys to realize your mistakes when I’m dead! Even if you cry no one’s going to hear you” my mother tells the both of us. “I can see your future guys. I can see your future. If there’s still a future” she continues. But does not the LORD hear all our cries?
```Psalm 34:17 NRSVue When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles. ```
“Everything I’m telling you. Put the date. Mark the date! This will happen. Put the date. If you’re writing it [my name] make sure you’re writing it correctly, every single thing. Mark this day! That I am telling you. You will have a problem with your children the same way like this and I don’t know how you’ll handle it. Today’s generation. This generation is getting worse. It’s worse. It’s worse than my generation.”. I don’t see the point in randomly discriminating against a person just because they’re a particular generation. But, since my mother is so insistent on having her words be remembered, here they are, my friends, for all of you to see.
“I hope I don’t die of heartattack. I hope I don’t die today. Because things here will be in ruin. Everything. Everything will be in in ruin here. This house will be ruined. You know how important the household has a mother.” my mother says through sobbing. My sister replies “You hurt me” saying of the time when she was crying and being shouted at by her mother. “It’s stuff like this that make me not happy to be home. I’m making my life fuller. You know who’s ruining it sometimes, you.” my sister says to my mother. “You’re not gentle, you’re not understanding” my sister says to my mother.
