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Harold

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“I think you’re a scary person at times” I say to my infernalist mother who was screaming at my sister on the phone around 9:56 PM Oct 20 2023. “If she doesn’t do this everything will be fine” she says so I calmly reply “Well, even if she didn’t do this random thing you don’t want her to do, you’re still the type of person who gets angry too easily.”



“Of course I have to get mad!” my mother shouts back. My sister is staying at her friends house and my mother wants to ban my sister from all sleepovers. My mother asks if I’m thinking about my sisters safety. I tell my mother that it makes sense why my sister wants to stay away from my mother because of my mother’s abusive behavior in the past. “Why did she go there!” she screams at me. My mother tells me that she has not the one who poisoned my sister’s mind but rather other people “Don’t blame on me! You have to see that these people are the ones ruining her life” “And you have been negatively affecting [sister’s name] life for years” I reply.



My mother says that she’s been praying something. She asks if you would leave a child outside at night, but I reply to her telling her that she’s at a friends house. There are many places that I consider much safer than in the household of an emotionally violent mother. “They can poison her and she will not die right away!” my mother describes the harm her friends could cause to her. Obviously, there’s a risk, as with many things in life, but considering her mother’s mistreatment of my sister for years, I see staying with my mother as a far greater risk



“That’s the reason why she stayed there at the school! They’re not thinking about her safety! They told [sister’s name] to wait at the school!” she shouts. it seems they were at the school around 6:00 PM. “Does she want me to die!?” my mother says on the wooden stairs behind me. I tell her that I don’t want her to die and ask her why she assumes her daughter would want that. I don’t think my sister wants that either. I also don’t think the LORD God wants anyone to die a permanent death. All will have faith alone in the LORD God Christ and thus gain permanent life.



```Proverbs 26:21 As charcoal is to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. ```



My mother says that she knows of the quotes I write about her and I describe to her that I make it obvious because I’ve been plainly telling her about it.



And my mother says that I will have a problem with one of my children and that will be the payback for what I’m doing to her. “Everything has a payback. That should not go out to anybody” and I tell her “Should I not expose the abuse in order to keep my sister safe?” so she says “You will see there’s a payback for that. I’m not telling anyone about our problems here. I’m not telling anyone”. People who are being abused have the right to share their experiences of being abused, even though the abuser is against the sharing of these experiences.





“And maybe that’s the reason why these problems have continued for so long, because you have refused to share it with others.” I tell her thus she replies “So mark this day that I tell you that you will realize someday what you’re doing is not supposed to be you’re not supposed to be doing that and right now you will not realize that but when you get older and you get wiser you realize it” she tells me. Because of these stories that I have shared I have been able to get support from people online, therefore I do not regret it. I continue to vent about these issues, because the keep happening over and over again. That’s why I timestamp these. I type these as the conflict occurs. It also serves as a memory to myself. Because I have forgotten much of my childhood. As a reminder of myself of my mother’s abusive acts, so I don’t fall for the same traps again.



“In my perspective I spent like an hour or two with my friends because it’s a Friday and I spent the rest of this day studying. This conversation is insulting and I don’t want to continue it anymore. I came in here being all happy. At the end of the day this isn’t a big deal and I don’t want to tell you things because you get mad about these things. … I spent over 5 hours studying just sitting and studying of course I want to do something else after that.” My sister says, she has returned 10:35 PM. I agree with my sister here, I honestly don’t’ see anything inherently wrong with just hanging out with friends.



“I don’t want you guys to realize your mistakes when I’m dead! Even if you cry no one’s going to hear you” my mother tells the both of us. “I can see your future guys. I can see your future. If there’s still a future” she continues. But does not the LORD hear all our cries?



```Psalm 34:17 NRSVue When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles. ```



“Everything I’m telling you. Put the date. Mark the date! This will happen. Put the date. If you’re writing it [my name] make sure you’re writing it correctly, every single thing. Mark this day! That I am telling you. You will have a problem with your children the same way like this and I don’t know how you’ll handle it. Today’s generation. This generation is getting worse. It’s worse. It’s worse than my generation.”. I don’t see the point in randomly discriminating against a person just because they’re a particular generation. But, since my mother is so insistent on having her words be remembered, here they are, my friends, for all of you to see.



“I hope I don’t die of heartattack. I hope I don’t die today. Because things here will be in ruin. Everything. Everything will be in in ruin here. This house will be ruined. You know how important the household has a mother.” my mother says through sobbing. My sister replies “You hurt me” saying of the time when she was crying and being shouted at by her mother. “It’s stuff like this that make me not happy to be home. I’m making my life fuller. You know who’s ruining it sometimes, you.” my sister says to my mother. “You’re not gentle, you’re not understanding” my sister says to my mother.
 

Harold

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There I was singing karaoke with my sister singing too and my mother was there. It was after an online church service we attended today and it was a lot of fun! My sister and I love our mother still. We forgive her. That's why we were hugging her, telling her how much we care for her. The server quote I mentioned yesterday happened already in the past. I vented, my sister vented. It's done. It's toxic to hold on to grudges.



So today, Oct 22 2023 Sunday my mother has once again asked me to talk to who she calls my "Discord friends" about our family situation. Both my sister and my mother are my very close friends, it's been this way for years. When one friend is hurting another friend, it's necessary to help stop that hurtful behavior. Because my mother is hurting herself I write this post to give her comfort. This may surprise some, but my mother has read posts from this Christian Universalists Discord server before. I see no reason to stop her from learning, there are useful resources on here after all. When the hurtful behavior has stopped, why continue holding a grudge? It's wrong.



If another incident arises, I can type about it. But now that things have calmed down, I bless my mother with great peace. There are many sins, evil deeds and mistakes I have made in the past that I wish to move on from. "Do unto others what you want others to do to you". I wish to be forgiven from those errors swiftly, therefore let me forgive the transgressions of others quickly.



Matthew 7:1-2 NRSVue Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.




Therefore let us follow this command and not judge,

κρίνετε (krinete) Strong's 2919 other people otherwise we will be judged κριθῆτε (krithēte) Strong's 2919.



I don't judge my mother for her past she went through, that's out of her control. She suffered so much growing up because of the cult she was in, the physical abuse she experienced. Therefore, let me not judge her by what she experiences in the future as well, for she is a product of her environment and if I grew up in that environment I would literally act in the exact same way. That is why, as the verse says, those who judge others bring judgment to themselves. Notice how the same κρίνω (krinó) root is used, Strong's 2919, just with different verb conjugations. Any human could have theoretically been any other human. Our souls are just in these particular bodies because God planned it. That's it.



I notice many waste so much time in trying to judge who is a quote-on-quote Christian or not. "Did this come from a Christian TM source?" they may say. I don't care. Good information is good, regardless of where it comes from!



Younger infernalist me had committed the sin of being judgmental many times, out of fear of people burning in hell forever. That's the bad fruit created from that belief, being judgmental.



But with Chrisian Universalism, everyone's going to be Christian anyways. Why judge someone for just getting randomly luckier and believing in Christ sooner or later? It's bad and pointless.



If a person refuses to be friends with someone just because they're an "atheist" or a "different religion" then they also commit the sin of judging a person based on their past. If someone refuses to be friends with person because they think they won't continue to fit their subjective definition of a "True Christian TM", then they commit the sin of judging a person based on their future.



My view. If someone says they're a Christian, they're a Chrisian. If someone says they're not a Christian, they're not a Christian. I'll take their word for it. A friend is a friend. I ain't God, I don't know what's in peoples hearts anyways, so it's literally impossible for me to get a completely accurate picture.



Thus I bless my mother, my friend, with great joy in the past, present and future. Because of Christian Universalism I feel I have learned to be able to love my mother much more and I am grateful.



So yeah, don't judge me that I typed out this whole post on my phone while sitting on the toilet lol
 

Harold

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"No matter how enjoyable your conversation is, no matter how interesting you don't know these people. Don't trust them so much" my mother tells me around 4:03 PM Oct 23 Monday because she heard me on a voice call with my friends. Both my mother and I do work from home, but sometimes we have to go for physical meetings too. My sister is physically at school and my father physically at work. Such as where I'm heading off to now. I type this on my phone while eating.



When I was on the Christian Universalists Discord server before, I think I was, to an extent, possibly fooled by my mother's rhetoric. Perhaps part of the reason why I did not socialize much on that server for months. But then I hit the sudden realization that my mother wanted me to stop communicating with people about Christianity on Discord, to stop even studying the Bible on my own. Her viewpoint was so extreme that it made me realize I should stop mindlessly obeying her every action and trying to suck up to her.



Romans 12:16 NRSVue

Live in harmony with one another; do not be arrogant, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are.



Despite it being a "Discord" server, I think there is harmony

φρονοῦντες (phronountes)

Strong's 5426: there. The concordance uses the term's "I direct the mind to", (mods), "I think" (users), "I observe" (lurkers), "I care for" (all of y'all).



If my infernalist mother wants me to stop spreading Christian Universalism then she's going to have to try a lot harder than this! Because even if I am ever silenced, I trust the people of the Christian Universalists Discord server to continue spreading Christian Universalism, I believe in them. Therefore, all people shall believe in Jesus Christ and thus gain permanent life. Amen.
 

Harold

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Back again with more theology on the toilet (a different toilet this time) Oct 24 2023 Tuesday. Earlier today I physically saw a person in real life who spoke of how we have, psychologically speaking, multiple selves.

Some are lucky to have a self identity with their family to rely on. For those without this, they could fall back on their professional identity. Only if they're lucky to have an enjoyable safe job. Maybe then a person could further fall back to a social identity, if they're lucky to have friends. Maybe then an online identity, if they're lucky enough to have Internet access. Without any of these identities of the self to rely on, what then does the self have?

It is an absolute fact that we ourselves are all made in the image of God. So we all have an identity made of God, regardles of whether a person is "saved" or "unsaved", Christian or non-Christian, believer or unbeliever or any sort of labels people use. We can't change the definitive truth that we are all God's creation, that is an irreversible, unchangeable, immutable constant.

```Genesis 1:26 NRSVue Then God said, “Let us make humans in our image, according to our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over the cattle and over all the wild animals of the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.”```


the term "in Our image,"
בְּצַלְמֵ֖נוּ (bə·ṣal·mê·nū)
Strong's 6754: also shows us we are quote "representative", of God, we all havw a "resemblance" of God, every
אָדָ֛ם (’ā·ḏām)
Strong's 120: "human being"

I see this as essentially guaranteeing salvation of all. As all are descendants of Adam already in ressemblance and representation of God, Jesus, does not the LORD want to complete His work? In order for all to become believers in God, Christ?
 

Harold

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Today before 2:35 PM CDT Oct 25 2023 I was connecting many of my alt accounts to Discord via Connections. It made me realize how much I’ve changed as a person in just a few years. Why then, are infernalists and annihlationists so adamant to set death as the cut off when a person can have faith alone in Christ to be permanently saved?



Ecclesiastes 3:1 - To Everything There is a Season

Ecclesiastes 3:1 NRSVue For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:



“RaidenShogunFan” “HonkaiStarRailer” “HaroldSamson” now “JSA”. You could say that each online username I had represented a different “self” of myself. Another character arc, another season of an anime. So I believe that God will give enough time וְעֵ֥ת (wə·‘êṯ) Strong's 6256, for everyone to go through their character developpment.
 

Harold

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October 25 2023, before 10:19 PM I was on a voice call with my friends from the Christian Universalists Discord Server.



I heard knocking on the side of the wall. My infernalist was listening to this conversation without my permission, when I said that I was 22 years old to a person online. I was inside of my blue bedroom with the blue door closed. I ended the call eventually and then my mother began shouting at me. I was not talking much and answering her calmly, because I love her, though I am against her abusive behavior.



She tells me that I’m not a Christian, that I’m just faking it. That I’m a liar. And she tells me that God will punish me, and repeats it. She tells me she will pray even. “You’ll get your punishment, I’m telling you” my mother says. She was grabbing my SanDisk Extension Portable SSD 2TB and was trying to threaten me as though she was going to pull it out of my black Intel Core i5 vPro 8th Gen hp Elitedesk PC.



She suddenly grabbed my black IPhone with “OtterBOX” case and switched it between hands, behind her, keeping it away from me. This was in the basement with the light blue walls. She took it from me without my permission, but I was luckily able to get it back.



I was typing one handed with my left hand, while my right hand grabbed my book I was reading, because my mother was trying to pull it away from me. When I let my right hand off it, she would try to suddenly grab it from me. She tells me that I’m claiming to be a Christian when I’m not, saying that I’m not smart enough. She is emotionally violent.



```Psalm 140:1 NRSVue Deliver me, O Lord, from evildoers; protect me from those who are violent, ```



My mother asks me how I will protect my family. I quietly reply in a scared voice saying that the Lord will protect us and that I trust in Him. I believe the Lord will protect all people, thus all will believe in Christ and be permanently saved. I am afraid of my mother, but I would still like to be her friend, even though she is a child abuser. She is the source of my decade of suffering, my religious trauma, and she continues to traumatize me with her narcissistic behavior, but I show her kindness and forgive her. She is a product of her environment; from the physical abuse she suffered growing up.



I had to grab my Lenovo black mouse with red mouse wheel too because she tried to take it from me. My mother says I will be punished by God, saying “You will be responsible for all of this”. It is 10:43 PM CDT. My head hurts, it feels tight. Just another day with my mother. I had to close my Word Document tab, because I could feel my mother watching me from behind me. She tells me she’s going to have a long prayer and that she’s going to by bedroom to pray. It’s 10:49 PM CDT.
 

Harold

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You're LYING to yourself and to LGBT's. Jesus said LGBT's are heading for Hell fire.
Where in the Bible does Jesus specifically say this Jack? I don't see any verse you posted on your message my friend

1 Cor 13:8 Love never fails
And I believe the love Jesus has for the LGBT Community will never fail
 

Harold

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My mother starts talking to me yesterday Thursday 2:45 PM Oct 26 2023 as we are upstairs after I took a shower. She tells me the people that I talk to could be convicted and have criminal records. I do not have a criminal record.



"They could appear so interested in your conversation but you don't know who they are" my mother tells me.



She tells me that this is worse then when she was looking through my sister's phone messages without her permission. I tell her I am against her doing that.



"That's so scary I'm really upset I'm really worried about it" my mother says. She is angry because I talk about my own personal life to people online.



My mother says to me "Be smart... be wise... I want you to be wise... And then these people, you don't know what they're gonna plan in the future. ... Until they get your trust. You're gonna trust them so much. They're going to look like they really like you. There's a lot of fake people now online, don't you know. You should know that, there's a lot of news about that too. If you Google that. There's a lot of cases like that. People look like they're good people when they're not. They're pretending their good friends; they get what you really want to do. They can really tell. They know how old you are, they know how to trick you. ... Tricking you! I thought you're the one thats gonna protect this family. You're the brother. We cannot rely on you anymore. What we gonna rely? Who? Who's gonna protect us when papa's gone?"



"They have that interior motive" my mother says, I think she means ulterior motive.



I trust the people online from the Christian Universalists Discord server. And I also trust that Christian Universalism is true, that all people, online and offline, alive and dead, shall become believers in Christ and thus gain permanent salvation.



``` Psalm 56:4 NRSVue In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I am not afraid; what can flesh do to me? ```
 

bluedragon

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If Hitler, Stalin, Saddam and other nasty people will be in heaven I don't think i'd like to go..:)


So many holes in this work .....Quit taking one verse and trying to shoehorn it into a specific misrepresentation of scripture .....Read the entire chapter and try again ......I know you mean well .....
 

Jack

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Where in the Bible does Jesus specifically say this Jack? I don't see any verse you posted on your message my friend

1 Cor 13:8 Love never fails
And I believe the love Jesus has for the LGBT Community will never fail
Gee Harold, how many times must I quote Jesus? Those who read your posts know you reject the Christian Bible.

1 Corinthians 6
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,
 
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amigo de christo

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1698516463597.png
high time the church gets back to preaching that WHICH IS RIGHT in the SIGHT OF GOD
and not rather being focused about everyones right TO DO EVIL .
IT WONT BODE WELL ON THE DAY OF THE LORD for those who loved a lie and praticed or supported SIN .
 
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Harold

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9:19 PM Oct 26 2023 Thursday, my mother comes downstairs and tries again to get me to stop talking with users from the Christian Universalists Discord server, going on another one of her long winded rants saying "You don't tell people anything about you. Cause they're gonna use that to their advantage, that's the logic to that. ... They're gonna use that against you. They will use that to win your trust. They're gonna be like sympathize. Like oh yeah I understand this is what. But really they're gonna trap you. That's why me even though we have problems in the house I don't tell people. They'll say that's the kind of family I have. Do you think they would care? They're just gonna tell people who you are. And that's embarrassing. Embarrass you. It's gonna bounce back to you. When you're speaking to people you need to be very very smart. You need to think fast. That's why you don't give information. The hard thing here is if that person chatting has a criminal background. Or someone who is ISIS. You just don't know! They can pretend! Especially if they have the ability to come to different places, that more scary. Yeah they interested to talk to, very interested. Like someone about to kill you they're gonna give you food that's really tasty like you're really gonna like it. You have to be very very careful, you don't trust people. ... What is this twisted? Why is this going reversed? You should use your logic. You should practice sensing danger because sensing danger is something that you learned it's not just gonna come to you. Danger is not like something you can ahead of you. Especially nowadays everything is online. You have to see danger. You have to be able to detect that. If you cannot detect that, I don't know what is wrong. That means something wrong with your Christianity. That's a fake Christian. You should have guidance from God. If you're a real Christian, you should have guidance." End of my mother’s quote.



In my mother's cruel self-righteous attitude, she falsely thinks those who do not fit into her arbitrary requirements are not quote-on-quote "true" Christians. As if it were up to her to decide! And what's her reasoning? Because someone can't detect danger? That makes no sense. My view is simple. If someone tells me they're a Christian, then I say to them that they are a Christian. Still, her unkind words hurt me.



```Exodus 15:13 NRSVue In your steadfast love you led the people whom you redeemed; you guided them by your strength to your holy abode. ```



Exodus 15:13 - Moses' Song of Deliverance



Does not the LORD God desire to guide aka lead aka transport נָחִ֥יתָ (nā·ḥî·ṯā) Strong's 5148 all people to permanent safety? Both Christians and non-Christians? All, who are either believers in Christ currently or upcoming believers in Christ? Whether someone's a Christian now or later, Universal Reconciliation with the LORD God is an inevitable event, as He guides all of us towards Him, just as we all were created by Him.
 

Jack

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9:19 PM Oct 26 2023 Thursday, my mother comes downstairs and tries again to get me to stop talking with users from the Christian Universalists Discord server, going on another one of her long winded rants saying "You don't tell people anything about you. Cause they're gonna use that to their advantage, that's the logic to that. ... They're gonna use that against you. They will use that to win your trust. They're gonna be like sympathize. Like oh yeah I understand this is what. But really they're gonna trap you. That's why me even though we have problems in the house I don't tell people. They'll say that's the kind of family I have. Do you think they would care? They're just gonna tell people who you are. And that's embarrassing. Embarrass you. It's gonna bounce back to you. When you're speaking to people you need to be very very smart. You need to think fast. That's why you don't give information. The hard thing here is if that person chatting has a criminal background. Or someone who is ISIS. You just don't know! They can pretend! Especially if they have the ability to come to different places, that more scary. Yeah they interested to talk to, very interested. Like someone about to kill you they're gonna give you food that's really tasty like you're really gonna like it. You have to be very very careful, you don't trust people. ... What is this twisted? Why is this going reversed? You should use your logic. You should practice sensing danger because sensing danger is something that you learned it's not just gonna come to you. Danger is not like something you can ahead of you. Especially nowadays everything is online. You have to see danger. You have to be able to detect that. If you cannot detect that, I don't know what is wrong. That means something wrong with your Christianity. That's a fake Christian. You should have guidance from God. If you're a real Christian, you should have guidance." End of my mother’s quote.



In my mother's cruel self-righteous attitude, she falsely thinks those who do not fit into her arbitrary requirements are not quote-on-quote "true" Christians. As if it were up to her to decide! And what's her reasoning? Because someone can't detect danger? That makes no sense. My view is simple. If someone tells me they're a Christian, then I say to them that they are a Christian. Still, her unkind words hurt me.



```Exodus 15:13 NRSVue In your steadfast love you led the people whom you redeemed; you guided them by your strength to your holy abode. ```



Exodus 15:13 - Moses' Song of Deliverance



Does not the LORD God desire to guide aka lead aka transport נָחִ֥יתָ (nā·ḥî·ṯā) Strong's 5148 all people to permanent safety? Both Christians and non-Christians? All, who are either believers in Christ currently or upcoming believers in Christ? Whether someone's a Christian now or later, Universal Reconciliation with the LORD God is an inevitable event, as He guides all of us towards Him, just as we all were created by Him.
Maybe your Mom is a Christian trying to pull her son from Hell fire.
 

Harold

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Oct 28 2023 around 1:46 PM Saturday while I was fixing the channel permissions on the Christian Universalists Discord Server, my mother was trying to stop my sister from making plans to pursue mechanical engineering in the future, saying all sorts of sexists remarks. What right does my mother think she has to control the entire life of a person? To take away their whole future?



My sister's good at math, I'd say, well, she's a lot better at it than me I think. Does she view her own daughter as her competition, hence the attempts of sabotage? Under infernalism/annihilationism, how can we ever live a life of peace here on Earth when our fates are treated like a game of sport. Who's going to be saved? Who's going to be lost? It leaves no room for grace.



```John 1:16 NRSVue From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. ```






Because of the fullness of grace

χάριν (charin) Strong's 5485: From chairo; graciousness, so too must it be received by the fullness of all creation through reconciliation with God through Christ by belief in Him given by Him.
 

Jack

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Oct 28 2023 around 1:46 PM Saturday while I was fixing the channel permissions on the Christian Universalists Discord Server, my mother was trying to stop my sister from making plans to pursue mechanical engineering in the future, saying all sorts of sexists remarks. What right does my mother think she has to control the entire life of a person? To take away their whole future?

My sister's good at math, I'd say, well, she's a lot better at it than me I think. Does she view her own daughter as her competition, hence the attempts of sabotage? Under infernalism/annihilationism, how can we ever live a life of peace here on Earth when our fates are treated like a game of sport. Who's going to be saved? Who's going to be lost? It leaves no room for grace.

```John 1:16 NRSVue From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. ```


Because of the fullness of grace

χάριν (charin) Strong's 5485: From chairo; graciousness, so too must it be received by the fullness of all creation through reconciliation with God through Christ by belief in Him given by Him.
LGBT's are going to be lost. Jesus said so. Should we believe you or Jesus?