A Question For Christian Men

[MA2444]

I have a hypothetical for you.

Now as Christin men we are taugh to love everyone and to forgive everyone. And that's a good precept, so we do. But how far does it go?

Would you take to yourself a girl for your wife, if she is a previous sex worker? Yes or no?

I got asked this by a girl who had been a sex worker, but praise the Lord, she did find Jesus and that's a good thing. She has changed jobs and vows to never be a sex worker again. But would I take a girl that to wife? No, I would not. She got all mad at me because I said I wouldn't and she went off! Why not? Why be judgmental? Why wont I forgive? and a slew of stuff like that.

My position is, I didnt know her when she was a sex worker so I have nothing to forgive her of, and it's not up to me to judge her. I am a man and have prefrences that suit me as a man. Including, purity, wholesomeness, geez they're supposed to be virgin in White when they're married. How many men have acctually married a virgin? They dont want a woman who is totally ran through and everyone has been with her!

I think she got so mad that I said no, because she figured men should be Christian like and forgive her her past.

While it's good that she found the Lord and was forgiven for her sins, there are still earthly consequences.
A mass murderer may be forgiven of God, but they still have to face the consequences of their actions on earth. The poor girl tried to avoid the consequences of men not wanting her as a wife and woundn't accept that she is still accountable for her poor decisions and she has become less valuable to men who want a wife because of her past.

WHat do you think? Was I too harsh on her? Would you marry her?

 

[Rockerduck]

Sounds like the book of Hosea in the bible. God told him to take Gomer as his wife. So I say, if the Holy Spirit said to marry a former prostitute, then I'd do it. The Holy Spirit chose my wife for me, and we've been married 20 yrs.. I didn't care what her past was. God said this is your wife, so I obeyed.

 

[quietthinker]

I have a hypothetical for you.

Now as Christin men we are taugh to love everyone and to forgive everyone. And that's a good precept, so we do. But how far does it go?

Would you take to yourself a girl for your wife, if she is a previous sex worker? Yes or no?

I got asked this by a girl who had been a sex worker, but praise the Lord, she did find Jesus and that's a good thing. She has changed jobs and vows to never be a sex worker again. But would I take a girl that to wife? No, I would not. She got all mad at me because I said I wouldn't and she went off! Why not? Why be judgmental? Why wont I forgive? and a slew of stuff like that.

My position is, I didnt know her when she was a sex worker so I have nothing to forgive her of, and it's not up to me to judge her. I am a man and have prefrences that suit me as a man. Including, purity, wholesomeness, geez they're supposed to be virgin in White when they're married. How many men have acctually married a virgin? They dont want a woman who is totally ran through and everyone has been with her!

I think she got so mad that I said no, because she figured men should be Christian like and forgive her her past.

While it's good that she found the Lord and was forgiven for her sins, there are still earthly consequences.
A mass murderer may be forgiven of God, but they still have to face the consequences of their actions on earth. The poor girl tried to avoid the consequences of men not wanting her as a wife and woundn't accept that she is still accountable for her poor decisions and she has become less valuable to men who want a wife because of her past.

WHat do you think? Was I too harsh on her? Would you marry her?

Would you marry someone you didn't love or was incompatible with?
You can choose in this regard.....and it's clear what your choice is. You don't need to justify it to anybody.
On the other hand, if you loved a girl who had the background you've described and you felt compatible, then also you are free to choose and don't need to justify your choice to anybody.

 

[Rockerduck]

Salmon married Rahab the harlot. The Davidic line came from them and to Mary the mother of Jesus.

All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

 

[JohnDB]

While it's good that she found the Lord and was forgiven for her sins, there are still earthly consequences.

And this is the crux of the matter right here.

People don't want to have negative consequences for their actions....but each choice leaves a mark....you can't unstrike a match even if you blow it out. It's forever changed.
And where she might be okay to be friendly towards....still wouldn't want to marry her.

And where a former sex worker is an extreme....there are guys who don't like people who have particular professions like lawyers, schoolteacher, doctor, nurse or politician. Not because these professions are even remotely sinful but they do tend to be identity changing due to the nature of the professions. And that identity change is not considered a positive by everyone.

I get what you are saying....
She may be forgiven....but that doesn't change her past or every attitude she has developed from living that lifestyle. Some guys want/need more in a spouse...no judgement from me about that.

Where it's not impossible to change from a past like that....you can't reasonably expect that someone who spent years in that profession is completely changed and has erased every attitude developed from their profession in a few months.

And this still is not addressing the issue of her former customers are out there...where they may not be exactly running around in the same circles as you....they exist and they still will pop up at gas stations or grocery stores for decades. And when people see you with her...they will believe something about you that isn't true.

 

[Peterlag]

I have a hypothetical for you.

Now as Christin men we are taugh to love everyone and to forgive everyone. And that's a good precept, so we do. But how far does it go?

Would you take to yourself a girl for your wife, if she is a previous sex worker? Yes or no?

I got asked this by a girl who had been a sex worker, but praise the Lord, she did find Jesus and that's a good thing. She has changed jobs and vows to never be a sex worker again. But would I take a girl that to wife? No, I would not. She got all mad at me because I said I wouldn't and she went off! Why not? Why be judgmental? Why wont I forgive? and a slew of stuff like that.

My position is, I didnt know her when she was a sex worker so I have nothing to forgive her of, and it's not up to me to judge her. I am a man and have prefrences that suit me as a man. Including, purity, wholesomeness, geez they're supposed to be virgin in White when they're married. How many men have acctually married a virgin? They dont want a woman who is totally ran through and everyone has been with her!

I think she got so mad that I said no, because she figured men should be Christian like and forgive her her past.

While it's good that she found the Lord and was forgiven for her sins, there are still earthly consequences.
A mass murderer may be forgiven of God, but they still have to face the consequences of their actions on earth. The poor girl tried to avoid the consequences of men not wanting her as a wife and woundn't accept that she is still accountable for her poor decisions and she has become less valuable to men who want a wife because of her past.

WHat do you think? Was I too harsh on her? Would you marry her?

Who came up with the idea that said Christians should not judge others?

1 Corinthians 6:2-5
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?

Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?

If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.

I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?

 

[MA2444]

Would you marry someone you didn't love or was incompatible with?
You can choose in this regard.....and it's clear what your choice is. You don't need to justify it to anybody.
On the other hand, if you loved a girl who had the background you've described and you felt compatible, then also you are free to choose and don't need to justify your choice to anybody.

I wouldnt be worried about what people think. But when some girl posed that question to me in a forum, I said no and boy that little girl just trounced on me big time, lol. Like I had some sort of obligation to take what I get.

 

[MA2444]

And this is the crux of the matter right here.

People don't want to have negative consequences for their actions....but each choice leaves a mark....you can't unstrike a match even if you blow it out. It's forever changed.
And where she might be okay to be friendly towards....still wouldn't want to marry her.

Not only that but I'm pretty sure that anyone we sleep with, we have soul ties to. And not only her, but everyone that she has slept with! And what does her yellow arches sign say? 5000 served? But they dont advertise that, lol.

I get what you are saying....
She may be forgiven....but that doesn't change her past or every attitude she has developed from living that lifestyle. Some guys want/need more in a spouse...no judgement from me about that.

Where it's not impossible to change from a past like that....you can't reasonably expect that someone who spent years in that profession is completely changed and has erased every attitude developed from their profession in a few months.

Right. You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can take the trailer park out of the girl. The match has been struck!

 

[Spyder]

Letting my imagination run with this.... This woman is a "new Christian." I wouldn't plan to yoke with a Christian who has yet to grow. The question was asked of you way too early. There would be time to get to know the person who was just "born again" and then consider the possibility of marriage. I would need to see some time elapse between the person just 'born" and what she becomes in maturity.

 

[MA2444]

Who came up with the idea that said Christians should not judge others?

1 Corinthians 6:2-5
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?

Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?

If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.

I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?

That is a good observation. That girl used Matthew 7:1-5 on me. Well, she used 7:1 but I kept reading lol. It always rubbed me the wrong way when they say you cant go through judging people. And that sounds like a good thing.

But we have to make judgments even every day on this world. And we best have good judgment.

But the thing is, Good Judgment comes from Expeience.
Experience comes from poor Judgment! But judging people really of goodness or worthiness isnt really up to us. So I think deciding whether or not to marry her is less about Judgment and more about, can I trust this girl who has had such a past? Trust is earned and develops over time. Sure would not want to find out two years in to the marriage to find out, you cant trust her. So a good judgment call is in order way before any marriage.

I've never had any trouble turning girls down. I'm an old ugly codger now but was very much handsome when I was in the market so I've had girls approaching me a lot in my life. They still do is the weird thing! It should have stopped with me getting older but it hasnt yet. Why is that? I think it can only have one answer to it. There's too much competition for men now so...maybe I look like a man with a job? She wants to put her on my payroll?!

 

[MA2444]

Letting my imagination run with this.... This woman is a "new Christian." I wouldn't plan to yoke with a Christian who has yet to grow. The question was asked of you way too early. There would be time to get to know the person who was just "born again" and then consider the possibility of marriage. I would need to see some time elapse between the person just 'born" and what she becomes in maturity.

That's right. And that is true whether she is a ex-sex worker or a Believer since childhood. But! I always thought that this is supposed to be a given no matter who the girl. That's wh they call it courting her?

 

[Peterlag]

That is a good observation. That girl used Matthew 7:1-5 on me. Well, she used 7:1 but I kept reading lol. It always rubbed me the wrong way when they say you cant go through judging people. And that sounds like a good thing.

But we have to make judgments even every day on this world. And we best have good judgment.

But the thing is, Good Judgment comes from Expeience.
Experience comes from poor Judgment! But judging people really of goodness or worthiness isnt really up to us. So I think deciding whether or not to marry her is less about Judgment and more about, can I trust this girl who has had such a past? Trust is earned and develops over time. Sure would not want to find out two years in to the marriage to find out, you cant trust her. So a good judgment call is in order way before any marriage.

I've never had any trouble turning girls down. I'm an old ugly codger now but was very much handsome when I was in the market so I've had girls approaching me a lot in my life. They still do is the weird thing! It should have stopped with me getting older but it hasnt yet. Why is that? I think it can only have one answer to it. There's too much competition for men now so...maybe I look like a man with a job? She wants to put her on my payroll?!

I judge people based on how they look, talk, live, who they vote for, what church they go to, and what they post here. I judge people every single hour.

 

[MA2444]

I judge people based on how they look, talk, live, who they vote for, what church they go to, and what they post here. I judge people every single hour.

Yes. I was the youngest kid so got to hang out around older people who always had problems and talked about them freely. I was able to learn from that and I discovered young that, you can tell within 60 seconds (usually) if the girl is wife material or not.

 

[Chains Broken]

You did nothing wrong, she asked you a question then got mad because she didn't like the answer.

Being forgiving and nonjudgmental as in Matthew 7 doesn't mean you can't protect yourself from bad decisions, and you can forgive and love someone without having to marry them.