While I was catholic I never felt like I was going to heaven !
Now why do you suppose that is ??????????
I can only speculate you were spiritually abused. It's an educated guess. I'm an ongoing student of psychology and inner healing.
Going to confession and still afraid I was going to hell ! WHY !
I was not a bad child !
You were a very good child. Good children don't hate their abusive or absent fathers. They grow up and find something else to hate. That way they can stay good.
And as a adult the same way........
Growing up in a dysfunctional family and having less than perfect teachers, that's why. Their teaching methods were just as underdeveloped as anywhere else in the '40s and 50's.
Now going to a bible church, I finally know the truth......... and know that I am saved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know I am going to heaven !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
I'm happy for you. Spiritual maturity involves taking a fearless moral inventory of ourselves at least twice a year. That means an
honest examination of conscience before approaching God. All Christians should do this or risk remaining a spiritual infant. A good Christian cannot be perfect, otherwise only God could be a good Christian.
A good Christian examination of conscience can be a great help in making a new start in the life of faith.
We use an examination of conscience to help call to mind our sins and failings during a period of quiet reflection before approaching Our Loving Father.
It's important for a good Christian examination of conscience to be thorough. This will help you to consider what sins you are guilty of and make you aware of sins you might not realize as sins. It's also a chance to develop your conscience. This is a critical aid for any Christian.
To make an examination:
• Set aside some quiet time for reflection. •Start by praying to the Holy Spirit, asking for help in making a good examination to prepare for confession to God.
Remember that a mortal sin is committed when :
1.full Knowledge that the act (thought, word or omission) was contrary to God’s will (sinful) is possessed by the offender;
2. Full Consent (with intentionality; i.e., not forced) is held by the one committing the sin;
3..grave Matter (anything under the Ten Commandments and basic Christian precepts) is the circumstances of the sin. Not to belabor the point, but, there is a difference in grave matter between stealing a pen from work and stealing $10,000 from an orphanage.
If all three conditions are met the sin is known as
mortal.
These things are serious because they break our family bond with God. They must be confessed with sincere repentance. It is impossible for children under the age of reason to be in a state of mortal sin.
It is a very good idea to confess venial sins as well, since these sins, like all sin, offend God Who deserves
all of our love..Confessing venial sins helps us to be more sensitive to God and more faithful in our love to
Him. But there is no need to be obsessive about it.
Do not worry! Do not be afraid! Jesus wants you to tell him your sins with honesty and courageousness that he may remove the hurt from your heart and soul. Do not further steep yourself in sin by concealing sins from God and yourself.
It's a good idea to talk to a mature Christian, a pastor, a councillor...someone bound to keep their mouth shut. As Scripture says in James 5, confess your sins to one another. It does not mean confess to sister Big Mouth. Confessing directly to God is easy, but if you mean business with in growing in the Lord, talk to somebody. Taking a fearless moral inventory of ourselves, admitting the exact nature of our wrongs, and making amends are part of a program that has helped millions of drug addicts and alcoholics. Don't we all underestimate it's healing power?
Words can't express the peace we get when we hear the words of absolution spoken by an ordained representative of Christ and His church. It's a beautiful sacrament for Catholics. It deepens and nourishes a truly intimate relationship with Jesus because it is so personal in it's nature and has SUBSTANCE. Going directly to God is fine but it doesn't have substance.
It's like a warm shower for the soul, not a torture chamber the way bitter ex-Catholics describe it.