Strength and Honor: Triumphing over Feminism

[TLHKAJ]

Agreed. In her 2nd email to me, she used the expression that she's "opening the door." I used that metaphor to show her how she is not taking the responsibility to walk through it in forgiveness.

You need to ask God to show you what is needed here.

Did she say she wouldn't forgive you? It doesn't matter anyway. Your forgiveness shouldn't depend on what she does. Sometimes, we have to go more than halfway. And you need to be willing to own up to your own actions as well. If you cannot do that, don't expect her to. Are you willing to humble yourself? Is pride in the way?

It looks like to me that she made the biggest effort in recontacting you. You're unwilling to even budge one step to meet her. It's all about your victim mentality and ego.

 

[Wrangler]

You need to

Don't feel you are ever entitled to tell me what my needs are or what I need to do. Thanks!

Feel free to talk about what responsibilities you have. Thanks again.

 

[Wrangler]

Did she say she wouldn't forgive you?

She said she's struggling to do so - and wants me to meet a series of terms and conditions, including "explaining myself" before considering it. Didn't you read the other thread where all this is detailed?

Sometimes, we have to go more than halfway.

Does this responsibility of going more than halfway apply to women also?

I've gone more than half way for years and years with her. Not doing it again.

It looks like to me that she made the biggest effort in recontacting you.

Nonsense. This is like in the dating world where a diva blows a relationship with a great guy. After he ghosts her, she reaches out with, "Hey." When I was dating, this happened so many times it was disgusting. Many women are simply spoiled in today's feminized society and have no capacity to put the effort into the relationship they claim to want. The minimum effort would be for her to:

1. Admit she was wrong.
2. Ask what she can do to make it right.

The "biggest effort" would be for her to actually act virtuously in making it right AND not repeating the offending behavior ever again, which shows she learned her lesson.

 

[Wynona]

"Effort alone is only half the battle. You need your efforts to actually get results."

I said before my husband is a better person than me. Today I was able to see why.

I judge based off effort. For my husband, he judges based on success.

Im thankful my husband challenges me to be a better person. All my life Ive been praised just for trying. Or, just the bare minimum.

 

[Wrangler]

"Effort alone is only half the battle. You need your efforts to actually get results."

I judge based off effort. For my husband, he judges based on success.

My wife and I talked/argued about this early on. She wanted to give herself all the credit in the world for the effort she put in and wanted me to acknowledge the great effort she put into things many times.

1st, I told her many, many times that I don't want my wife to work that hard! It took her the longest time to get that through her head. It doesn't say much about me as a provider is she if struggling so hard.

2nd, I told her that in school, you might get an "A" for effort. In the real world, it does not put food on the table. That all that matters in the real world is results. She still does not like this metric, this adult, out of school, metric.

 

[Mink57]

My wife and I talked/argued about this early on. She wanted to give herself all the credit in the world for the effort she put in and wanted me to acknowledge the great effort she put into things many times.

1st, I told her many, many times that I don't want my wife to work that hard! It took her the longest time to get that through her head. It doesn't say much about me as a provider is she if struggling so hard.

2nd, I told her that in school, you might get an "A" for effort. In the real world, it does not put food on the table. That all that matters in the real world is results. She still does not like this metric, this adult, out of school, metric

Effort can either be an attempt OR a result of an attempt.

Seems to be that your wife simply wanted a little acknowledgement for her efforts as results, while you saw them as nothing more than failed attempts because her efforts didn't put food on the table.

So even if her efforts yielded making a nice home, they didn't amount to much in YOUR eyes because they didn't put food on the table (even though she probably cooked said food).

 

[Wrangler]

Effort can either be an attempt OR a result of an attempt.

ROFLMAO.

 

[Mink57]

ROFLMAO.

What's so funny?

ef·fort
[ˈefərt]
noun

1. 
   
2. a vigorous or determined attempt:
   "in an effort to save money, I have committed to only buying items that I truly need"
   • the result of an attempt:
     "he was a keen gardener, winning many prizes for his efforts"
   
   Any questions?
   
   
   
   

 

[Wrangler]

What's so funny?

You are funny. Here we are talking about how effort and results are different and you are making the claim that they are the same. It's such a funny perversion of equality.

1. Wife: Tried but did not produce the desired results.
2. Husband: Tried and produced the desired results.

These are not the same, not equal. And I think you know that.

didn't amount to much in YOUR eyes because they didn't put food on the table (even though she probably cooked said food).

I didn't have time yesterday to let you know how much I enjoyed this golden nugget.

1. It's not subjective. It's not "my eyes" but in reality, she did not put food on the table. This is an unemotional fact.
2. As a man, I have to deal with the facts of reality. Only an insane person subordinates the facts of reality to how they feel.
3. That is, no man has the luxury of assuaging his wife's emotions at the expense of survival. Survival is the top priority, not making her feel good about her failures.
4. The stunning lack of humility in your posts has become comical.
5. You have shown no compassion for any man not meeting your high standards. Can you refer us to those posts where you gave men all kinds of credit for their effort that did not produce the desired results? If not, I'd sure enjoy seeing such compassionate posts now.
6. I've expressed numerous times in this long thread that I do most of the cooking. Just last night, I did not get home from work until 8PM. Do you think my wife made dinner that was waiting when I got home?
7. It's awesome how you attempt to turn things around, engage in conjecture to suppose my wife produced something, implying I am not sufficiently appreciating her productive work.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Your contentious spirit is sad but so absurd, it has become comical. Thanks for the many laughs!

 

[Mink57]

You are funny. Here we are talking about how effort and results are different and you are making the claim that they are the same. It's such a funny perversion of equality.

Obviously, you didn't read the dictionary definition of 'effort' and how it can mean either an attempt OR result. You got a beef with that? Take it up with Webster!

1. Wife: Tried but did not produce the desired results.
2. Husband: Tried and produced the desired results.

These are not the same, not equal. And I think you know that.

You did not say that wife tried 'but did not produce the desired results'. In fact, you didn't even mention what kind of effort she wanted credit for (and I have a sneaking suspicion that what she wanted credit for, you didn't think was worthy of credit, even if her efforts DID produce results!)

I didn't have time yesterday to let you know how much I enjoyed this golden nugget.

1. It's not subjective. It's not "my eyes" but in reality, she did not put food on the table. This is an unemotional fact.
2. As a man, I have to deal with the facts of reality. Only an insane person subordinates the facts of reality to how they feel.
3. That is, no man has the luxury of assuaging his wife's emotions at the expense of survival. Survival is the top priority, not making her feel good about her failures.

Wow. You really DO hate women and have NO respect for your own wife!

1. The stunning lack of humility in your posts has become comical.

Pot calls kettle black.

1. You have shown no compassion for any man not meeting your high standards.

What 'high standards' are those in your wild imagination?
Do YOU show compassion for any WOMAN not meeting YOUR standards?

1. Can you refer us to those posts where you gave men all kinds of credit for their effort that did not produce the desired results? If not, I'd sure enjoy seeing such compassionate posts now.

Can you refer us to those posts where you gave women all kinds of credit for their effort that DID produce the desired results?

Do you realize that in this country, married women weren't ALLOWED to receive a patent if it was HER invention/discovery/idea? That the patent could only be registered under her HUSBAND'S name, and that only HE got the credit for that?

Case in point:

Years ago, I knew a lawyer who was going through some rough times. His wife had passed away a year earlier and he was pretty torn up over it...to the point of him drinking into oblivion each day. I spent much time consoling him as he drank and cried. He lost his job over this and was fearful about losing his house. I told him, "Go into business for YOURSELF." He looked at me with this puzzled look. It never even occurred to him that he had that opportunity. I continued..."Look, you've got the education, the knowledge and the skill. You have a BUNCH of talent, telling me about all the cases that you've won. You've got the equipment and access to law libraries. You have a car and business suits. You've got enough computer skills to create a website. You don't have to worry about overhead and you can write off part of your home expenses as business expenses."

He thought about it. He was in business the next day and got his first client less than a week later.

A few months later, I overheard a relative ask him "What made you go into business for yourself?" He said, "The idea just came to me one day."

I came up with the idea. Encouraged him to go through with it. Helped him pull it off. Where's *MY* 'thanks'???? Where's *MY* acknowledgement? I didn't want money...or a fanfare...or a parade. But how about a little credit where credit was due? How about a "Thank you, Mink. I never would have thought of this unless you suggested it and encouraged me to go for it." The guy was on the verge of filing bankruptcy and losing his home, fercryinoutloud.

Makes me understand how many OTHER WOMEN historically have come up with ideas and have received NO CREDIT.

1. I've expressed numerous times in this long thread that I do most of the cooking. Just last night, I did not get home from work until 8PM. Do you think my wife made dinner that was waiting when I got home?

Frankly, I don't blame your wife. I wouldn't want to make dinner for an angry, bitter, condescending, unappreciative man such as yourself, either.

1. It's awesome how you attempt to turn things around, engage in conjecture to suppose my wife produced something, implying I am not sufficiently appreciating her productive work.

The way you've described your wife isn't very flattering to her.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Your contentious spirit is sad but so absurd, it has become comical. Thanks for the many laughs!

Likewise!

 

[marks]

I've expressed numerous times in this long thread that I do most of the cooking. Just last night, I did not get home from work until 8PM. Do you think my wife made dinner that was waiting when I got home?

I do the cooking in our home. I do the grocery shopping and meal planning, and after I arrive home from work, I'll often spend various amounts of time helping my wife get caught up on her things, and then cook her a dinner. Maybe even then wait for her to be ready for it.

And so what?

Isn't that in the vows we made when we married? To love and cherish? As Jesus does us?

Much love!

 

[marks]

He thought about it. He was in business the next day and got his first client less than a week later.

A few months later, I overheard a relative ask him "What made you go into business for yourself?" He said, "The idea just came to me one day."

I came up with the idea. Encouraged him to go through with it. Helped him pull it off. Where's *MY* 'thanks'???? Where's *MY* acknowledgement? I didn't want money...or a fanfare...or a parade. But how about a little credit where credit was due? How about a "Thank you, Mink. I never would have thought of this unless you suggested it and encouraged me to go for it." The guy was on the verge of filing bankruptcy and losing his home, fercryinoutloud.

Makes me understand how many OTHER WOMEN historically have come up with ideas and have received NO CREDIT.

Isn't that the way!!

I can tell you this with all confidence. If I were not married to my wife, I'd likely be either dead after a ruined life, or be living a ruined life.

God put us together with His great wisdom.

Much love!

 

[Mink57]

Isn't that the way!!

I can tell you this with all confidence. If I were not married to my wife, I'd likely be either dead after a ruined life, or be living a ruined life.

God put us together with His great wisdom.

Much love!

I have heard several other men who have said the same thing!

If it wasn't for (meeting) their wife, they'd either be dead, in prison or ruined.

Thank you for that!

God bless....

 

[marks]

I have heard several other men who have said the same thing!

If it wasn't for (meeting) their wife, they'd either be dead, in prison or ruined.

Thank you for that!

God bless....

I chose to leave out the "in prison" option, but yeah, that too!

Much love!

 

[Mink57]

I do the cooking in our home. I do the grocery shopping and meal planning, and after I arrive home from work, I'll often spend various amounts of time helping my wife get caught up on her things, and then cook her a dinner. Maybe even then wait for her to be ready for it.

And so what?

Isn't that in the vows we made when we married? To love and cherish? As Jesus does us?

Exactly! Jesus didn't assign 'roles' to men and women, as much as some men and women want to believe that.

Why can't you help with cooking?
Why can't 'she' help you by hammering nails into a piece of plywood on a roof?

Much love!

Right back to ya!

 

[Mink57]

I chose to leave out the "in prison" option, but yeah, that too!

Much love!

Ha! Only repeating what I heard...from that lawyer! "If it wasn't for her, I'd either be dead or in prison"...

 

[Wrangler]

Obviously, you didn't read the dictionary definition of 'effort' and how it can mean either an attempt OR result.

Obviously, you are pretending I only meant it one way in context.

You did not say that wife tried 'but did not produce the desired results'. In fact, you didn't even mention what kind of effort she wanted credit for

Nor do I have to elaborate. The point differentiating effort with results is clear to those without a giant ego.

Wow. You really DO hate women and have NO respect for your own wife!

There's that ego again! Admitting that people - including women - fail is no kind of hatred.

What 'high standards' are those in your wild imagination?

Being your equal and one you humble yourself enough to submit to per Biblical instruction.

Can you refer us to those posts where you gave women all kinds of credit for their effort that DID produce the desired results?

No. I don't do that for men either. Credit is given for results, not effort in the real world. See how you want equality but also special accommodation?

Frankly, I don't blame your wife. I wouldn't want to make dinner for an angry, bitter, condescending, unappreciative man such as yourself, either.

Projecting. And your giant ego and spoiled mentality is showing again AS IF ones' duty is a function of wanting to do it. I don't recall you writing one post where you have all kinds of compassion for the men in your life not wanting to meet you high standards on account of your poor attitude. Funny that?

How long have you been happily married?

 

[Wrangler]

Why can't you help with cooking?
Why can't 'she' help you by hammering nails into a piece of plywood on a roof?

Your perversion of equality causes you to keep missing the boat.

We've been over this MANY times. It's not about theoretical potential, can do it. It's that men are simply made for doing the harder work. Dividing up labor in the traditional way was a survival strategy, a successful survival strategy.

My wife is a frail grandmother now. I don't want her doing hard work like hammering nails into plywood. She much prefers spending time with our 18 grandchildren and I am happy to see the look on her face when she does. It gives me joy to see such joy on her face. This is what is achieved when one does not have a contentious spirit, trying to compete about every little thing.

 

[Mink57]

Obviously, you are pretending I only meant it one way in context.

Obviously, you don't get what context means.

Nor do I have to elaborate. The point differentiating effort with results is clear to those without a giant ego.

You mean, YOUR giant ego?

There's that ego again! Admitting that people - including women - fail is no kind of hatred.

Not MY ego, but your OWN.

Being your equal and one you humble yourself enough to submit to per Biblical instruction.

They way YOU read the bible isn't the same way *I* do. Genesis DOES say that a MAN shall leave his mother and father and be cleave unto his wife. It does NOT say that a WOMAN shall leave HER mother and father and be cleaved unto her husband.

The Iroquois got it RIGHT. The white man...didn't.

No. I don't do that for men either. Credit is given for results, not effort in the real world. See how you want equality but also special accommodation?

What a CROCK. Sweetie, I give both men and women credit for TRYING. I'm not as punitive as you are.

Projecting. And your giant ego and spoiled mentality is showing again AS IF ones' duty is a function of wanting to do it. I don't recall you writing one post where you have all kinds of compassion for the men in your life not wanting to meet you high standards on account of your poor attitude. Funny that?

How long have you been happily married?

My 'high' standards? Oh yeah....let's see.....

How about...be HONEST. Dont' tell me you did something if you didn't. Or that you're someone you're not.
Be HUMBLE. Admit when you made a mistake and not blame someone else...including ME. I can admit MY mistakes. Why can't you admit yours?
How about be KIND? Not just to ME, but to OTHERS, and not look down on others because they have less than YOU do.
How about be FAITHFUL? Don't cheat. Don't pretend that cheating is because of what *I* did or didn't do...especially if you never mentioned 'it' to me!

How about contributing to the maintenance of the household? And actually RAISING the kids? Not just showing up once in a while...when you get time off from work. But actually BEING there for them.

Wow. Such "high" standards I have! I don't want to be with a married man...or one who has Herpes...or one who's an alcoholic....or a drug user....or a cheater...or a liar....

Ooooo, I have such 'high standards' since I do NONE of those things!

From the way you describe your wife, you're not "happily" married. You're married to a woman you obviously have NO respect...or LOVE for....
I wasn't happily married. Hence, my divorces. And from the men who have the same attitude about women IN GENERAL that YOU have, I'm perfectly FINE on my own, thank you very much. Nope. Not a cat lady.

Beingg married ain't all that for SOME people. And of course,, someone like YOU would rather be UNHAPPILY hitched than to be alone...

...even though CHRIST said that it's o.k to NOT be married.

 

[Wrangler]

Obviously, you don't get what context means.

Obviously, you are trying to pretend unequal things are equal.