Strength and Honor: Triumphing over Feminism

[Mink57]

I am the one who originally said it, so why don't you ask me?

Yup! Noticed that about both him and the OP. If a WOMAN protests, they're both all over HER. But if a MAN protests about the historical and current (mis)treatment of women, suddenly there's *crickets*.

Wonder why that is....

 

[Wrangler]

Not about *my* "out of control ego", but about your OWN.

LOL. Explain again either:

1. How you triumphed over feminism?
2. Why you are posting in a thread about triumphing over feminism if you did not triumph over feminism?

 

[Mink57]

LOL. Explain again either:

1. How you triumphed over feminism?
2. Why you are posting in a thread about triumphing over feminism if you did not triumph over feminism?

Because the OP said in her post #1 and again in #6 (and in a few other posts):

If Im not mistaken, I think U.K's women's suffrage began a decade or two before the feminist movement in the U.S in the 1890's. I'm a bit fuzzy about how similar they are but Id enjoy learning about it.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! All of them. Anyone is free to agree or disagree with my point of view and I expect plenty of opposition on mine.

 

[Wynona]

Feminism used to feed into my selfishness and hypocrisy.

Selfishness --- I thought it made perfect sense for my husband to support my "dreams" of education and going into the Internet Tech field even if I had no plans to support him with the income and these plans did not benefit the marriage in the slightest.

In fact, if my husband questioned how much of my energy and devotion was going into these things, I accused him of being controlling and threatened by the possibility of my success.

I wasn't acting as one flesh, I was competing with him.

My "dreams" changed a lot because I thought college and career was simply what adults did. I loved the idea of a career but hated working. I expected my husband to adapt to all these changes and not question how much energy was diverted away from him and our marriage.

Hypocrisy: I used to say I wasn't suited to marriage. I also used to say I "didn't have a servant's heart. Except, all Christians are called to serve others. And wives are called to serve as help meets their husbands and assist them. So that kind of thinking made me a hypocritical Christian.

To serve with love in your heart is a thing of joy. Im glad God didn't leave me that way.

 

[Naomanos]

Feminism used to feed into my selfishness and hypocrisy.

Selfishness --- I thought it made perfect sense for my husband to support my "dreams" of education and going into the Internet Tech field even if I had no plans to support him with the income and these plans did not benefit the marriage in the slightest.

In fact, if my husband questioned how much of my energy and devotion was going into these things, I accused him of being controlling and threatened by the possibility of my success.

I wasn't acting as one flesh, I was competing with him.

My "dreams" changed a lot because I thought college and career was simply what adults did. I loved the idea of a career but hated working. I expected my husband to adapt to all these changes and not question how much energy was diverted away from him and our marriage.

Hypocrisy: I used to say I wasn't suited to marriage. I also used to say I "didn't have a servant's heart. Except, all Christians are called to serve others. And wives are called to serve as help meets their husbands and assist them. So that kind of thinking made me a hypocritical Christian.

To serve with love in your heart is a thing of joy. Im glad God didn't leave me that way.

You do know that having a college education is not a selfish thing?

You both should have dreams that are independent of each other and dreams that are for both of you to accomplish together. It is not selfish to have your own wants and needs.

Should you serve each other, absolutely, but your own wants and dreams should be something that he wants to see you accomplish as much as you want to see him accomplish his.

 

[Wrangler]

Because the OP said in her post #1 and again in #6 (and in a few other posts):

Nonsensical avoidance of responsibility.
ME: Why are you doing X.
YOU. OP said I could.

 

[Naomanos]

Nonsensical avoidance of responsibility.
ME: Why are you doing X.
YOU. OP said I could.

Just because you don’t like the “fact” that she posted, doesn’t mean that it is a nonsensical avoidance of responsibility.

If anything, this is you trying to silence someone you disagree with.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Should you serve each other, absolutely, but your own wants and dreams should be something that he wants to see you accomplish as much as you want to see him accomplish his.

This is actually very UNselfish. Should her husband ever be unable to work, she would be able to step in and provide an income.

 

[Wynona]

You do know that having a college education is not a selfish thing?

You both should have dreams that are independent of each other and dreams that are for both of you to accomplish together. It is not selfish to have your own wants and needs.

Should you serve each other, absolutely, but your own wants and dreams should be something that he wants to see you accomplish as much as you want to see him accomplish his.

This sounds great on paper but in reality, there are limits to each person's time, energy, and resources. Marriage takes a lot of work and the things I said were my dreams were definitely making my husband take a back seat.

We've normalized a two person partnership but the divorce rate has skyrocketed from this mindset. The biblical mindset is a one flesh union where the woman assists the man, not the other way around.

When I wanted a partnership, the marriage suffered. When I quit my job and fully in invested in being with my husband, I found a greater purpose in helping him be more capable as a man. Because of our cultural training, this sounds bad. But it made the marriage much better. I hated working. I thought it was just something I had to do as an adult, married or not.

But unlike me, my husband has no problem using his income to provide for our needs. When I worked, I wanted the money just for myself. Despite us being raised for a dual income situation, my husband turned into an amazing provider, leader, and father.

Since I no longer compete in the workforce, my sense of restfulness, softness, and femininity has healed.

 

[Naomanos]

This sounds great on paper but in reality, there are limits to each person's time, energy, and resources. Marriage takes a lot of work and the things I said were my dreams were definitely making my husband take a back seat.

We've normalized a two person partnership but the divorce rate has skyrocketed from this mindset. The biblical mindset is a one flesh union where the woman assists the man, not the other way around.

When I wanted a partnership, the marriage suffered. When I quit my job and fully in invested in being with my husband, I found a greater purpose in helping him be more capable as a man. Because of our cultural training, this sounds bad. But it made the marriage much better. I hated working. I thought it was just something I had to do as an adult, married or not.

But unlike me, my husband has no problem using his income to provide for our needs. When I worked, I wanted the money just for myself. Despite us being raised for a dual income situation, my husband turned into an amazing provider, leader, and father.

Since I no longer compete in the workforce, my sense of restfulness, softness, and femininity has healed.

Okay. So this is your marriage. Your marriage isn't someone else's marriage. Someone else's marriage can work the way I stated.

A man should help the woman with her dreams as well. Your dreams do not take a backseat because you are married. A man should be willing and able to help her just as much as she helps him.

So, tell me, if there is a marriage where both spouses help each other with their dreams, are you going to tell them that they are wrong?

 

[Wynona]

A man should help the woman with her dreams as well. Your dreams do not take a backseat because you are married. A man should be willing and able to help her just as much as she helps him.

How has men helping their wives with careers helped marriage improve? Are marriages lasting longer than in the past? Are husbands and wives happier as a whole?

So, tell me, if there is a marriage where both spouses help each other with their dreams, are you going to tell them that they are wrong?

Yes. For reasons Ive already explained.

 

[Naomanos]

How has men helping their wives with careers helped marriage improve? Are marriages lasting longer than in the past? Are husbands and wives happier as a whole?

There is more than that as a possible reason for what’s going on with marriages.

I will definitely be helping my fiance when we get married to realize her dreams as she will help me.

Yes. For reasons Ive already explained.

And you would be wrong for telling them so.

If you want to have the marriage that you describe, have it, but if others are happy with their marriage as it is, why tell them otherwise? Just because it works for you doesn’t mean it will work for all.

As I have said before, your marriage would never work for me, I would be very unhappy in your marriage. I would want to help you with your dreams and you would push that help away. That would hurt me more than you not helping me with mine.

That is who I am, a helper. I love helping people and taking care of people. It’s why I had become an EMT and stayed in EMS for over 20 years. That extends to my other half. If I am unable to help my closest relationship, that would cause me to be unhappy.

 

[TLHKAJ]

When I worked, I wanted the money just for myself. Despite us being raised for a dual income situation, my husband turned into an amazing provider, leader, and father.

Sister, this is very specific to you and your marriage. There are plenty of women who do not have that mindset. I've seen it and experienced it. These women placed their incomes into the money pot with their husband's money and it was decided together where the funds went. That's how it was anytime I've worked. (Most of my work was in the parochial school our children attended.)

The Proverbs 31 woman was a businesswoman. She worked inside and outside the home. And yet, the heart of her husband had confidence in her. It just depends on the couple and what God leads them to do.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Yes. For reasons Ive already explained.

It isn't unbiblical for a woman to work. It IS unbiblical for her to pursue work that takes her away from her husband, or her duties within the home, and raising the children. But sometimes, it's a financial necessity per each couple's specific situations and circumstances. It's between them and God.

 

[Wrangler]

Yup! Noticed that about both him and the OP. If a WOMAN protests, they're both all over HER. But if a MAN protests about the historical and current (mis)treatment of women, suddenly there's *crickets*.

Wonder why that is....

I use the ignore feature for Naomanos.

 

[Mink57]

This sounds great on paper but in reality, there are limits to each person's time, energy, and resources. Marriage takes a lot of work and the things I said were my dreams were definitely making my husband take a back seat.

We've normalized a two person partnership but the divorce rate has skyrocketed from this mindset. The biblical mindset is a one flesh union where the woman assists the man, not the other way around.

When I wanted a partnership, the marriage suffered. When I quit my job and fully in invested in being with my husband, I found a greater purpose in helping him be more capable as a man. Because of our cultural training, this sounds bad. But it made the marriage much better. I hated working. I thought it was just something I had to do as an adult, married or not.

But unlike me, my husband has no problem using his income to provide for our needs. When I worked, I wanted the money just for myself. Despite us being raised for a dual income situation, my husband turned into an amazing provider, leader, and father.

Since I no longer compete in the workforce, my sense of restfulness, softness, and femininity has healed.

You can't say that you "wanted a partnership" AND wanted to keep the money you made JUST for yourself. That's not having mindset of a partner

Your mindset about keeping the money you made all for yourself has nothing to do with feminism.

 

[Mink57]

Sister, this is very specific to you and your marriage. There are plenty of women who do not have that mindset. I've seen it and experienced it. These women placed their incomes into the money pot with their husband's money and it was decided together where the funds went. That's how it was anytime I've worked. (Most of my work was in the parochial school our children attended.)

Same with me. I was actually the breadwinner, and had no problem combining our incomes and deciding together how the money was spent.

The Proverbs 31 woman was a businesswoman. She worked inside and outside the home. And yet, the heart of her husband had confidence in her. It just depends on the couple and what God leads them to do.

 

[MA2444]

You can't say that you "wanted a partnership" AND wanted to keep the money you made JUST for yourself. That's not having mindset of a partner

But you two girls have different agendas. This is a corrupt world and so big things have to be built towards. It's not always an instant change.

If the woman is willing to be the helper and assist her husband in building something better for the entire family so in the transition period wanting to keep some money and desiring a partnership at the same time merely shows that there may be elements of both during the building process...whereas girls like you show up and say, I' not here to build, I'll set my throne up in the living room.

So I understand why you dont understand the girl. You must think all women think alike, like you do, lol. Most of them may but it still aint right.

 

[MA2444]

You feminist girls need to stop twisting the narrative. There was no "Business woman" outlined in Eve's duties, lol. Already challenging the man's authority, arent you?

 

[Mink57]

But you two girls have different agendas. This is a corrupt world and so big things have to be built towards. It's not always an instant change.

If the woman is willing to be the helper and assist her husband in building something better for the entire family so in the transition period wanting to keep some money and desiring a partnership at the same time merely shows that there may be elements of both during the building process

Read what Wynona wrote again. SHE was the one who said that SHE wanted to keep the money for herself. Nothing about wanting to keep SOME of her earnings to "build something better for the entire family."

...whereas girls like you show up and say, I' not here to build, I'll set my throne up in the living room.

And read what *I* wrote again. I was the breadwinner and threw ALL of my earnings into our JOINT bank account along with ALL of my husband's earnings. My attitude has ALWAYS been that we are in a partnership; a joint venture.

So I understand why you dont understand the girl. You must think all women think alike, like you do, lol. Most of them may but it still aint right.

I have been saying on this thread other times that "All women don't think alike."

And neither do ALL men.

Why you and Wrangler keep trying to put words in my mouth is beyond me.