Likely the oddest question ever posted here. But a serious one.

[Rella ~ I am a woman]

When selecting clothing for someone who has passed away... a woman.... do you do underwear?

Also... shoes or slippers.

And should a lady always wear a dress or skirt and not slacks for her burial?

Thanks

 

[Pearl]

When selecting clothing for someone who has passed away... a woman.... do you do underwear?

Also... shoes or slippers.

And should a lady always wear a dress or skirt and not slacks for her burial?

Thanks

I think those decisions would be made by the bereaved family. Are you asking for somebody you have lost? It's a totally personal choice.

 

[Rella ~ I am a woman]

I think those decisions would be made by the bereaved family. Are you asking for somebody you have lost? It's a totally personal choice.

I am asking for me.

My mom had progressing dementia. I am her only care giver. The only one to make decisions and it occurred to me that every one else in the family who died gave clothing to my moms niece but she never said what it entailed.

I do not want to ask her. And certainly not mom.... who likely would not understand at this point.

 

[Pearl]

I am asking for me.

My mom had progressing dementia. I am her only care giver. The only one to make decisions and it occurred to me that every one else in the family who died gave clothing to my moms niece but she never said what it entailed.

I do not want to ask her. And certainly not mom.... who likely would not understand at this point.

I'm so sorry about your mom @Rella ~ I am a woman. I think i would take my cue from how the person was in life. I don't think I would want undertakers messing about putting undies on me when I've gone. A pretty dress and slippers would be my choice.

 

[Nancy]

I am asking for me.

My mom had progressing dementia. I am her only care giver. The only one to make decisions and it occurred to me that every one else in the family who died gave clothing to my moms niece but she never said what it entailed.

I do not want to ask her. And certainly not mom.... who likely would not understand at this point.

So sorry to hear of your mom sister. Dementia is no easy thing to handle. You are honoring her well. I would go with what Pearl said, choose a dress that she liked and the rest doesn't matter much as they usually lay out folks with half closed casket. God bless you as you go through these changes with your mom!

 

[VictoryinJesus]

When selecting clothing for someone who has passed away... a woman.... do you do underwear?

Also... shoes or slippers.

And should a lady always wear a dress or skirt and not slacks for her burial?

Thanks

I’ve never thought of those questions. I’m sorry you are having to. I don’t have answers. If you don’t want to ask others as you said, you don’t want to ask those around you. If it were me …I would research it on Google. That may sound silly but doubtfully, you’re the only one to ever have these questions. Maybe research what is best for burial. I have yet to find something Google can’t help with because usually, there are others asking the same questions.

 

[Jane_Doe22]

I am asking for me.

My mom had progressing dementia. I am her only care giver. The only one to make decisions and it occurred to me that every one else in the family who died gave clothing to my moms niece but she never said what it entailed.

I do not want to ask her. And certainly not mom.... who likely would not understand at this point.

Sorry to hear about your mom, dementia is super rough.

As to burial clothes: I’d suggest going with something your mom would wear if she wanted to look nice. If she’s a lady who thinks a skirt is nice, then go with that. Same with a shirt she’d like.

 

[Rella ~ I am a woman]

I’ve never thought of those questions. I’m sorry you are having to. I don’t have answers. If you don’t want to ask others as you said, you don’t want to ask those around you. If it were me …I would research it on Google. That may sound silly but doubtfully, you’re the only one to ever have these questions. Maybe research what is best for burial. I have yet to find something Google can’t help with because usually, there are others asking the same questions.

LOL, I did do that and it seemed so funny to read...one article they do underwear for the modesty of the deceased???

Then this one

Shoes, socks, underwear, singlets, bras, briefs, hosiery and reading glasses are all used if the family so desires, and the deceased is dressed in them as they would be in life. A plastic undergarment will also be placed on the deceased to avoid any leakage.

Leakage??????

 

[Deborah_]

I would simply ask the undertaker for their advice. They will know what the normal practice is for your area.

Whatever you choose, it needs to be easy to put on.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

LOL, I did do that and it seemed so funny to read...one article they do underwear for the modesty of the deceased???

Then this one

Shoes, socks, underwear, singlets, bras, briefs, hosiery and reading glasses are all used if the family so desires, and the deceased is dressed in them as they would be in life. A plastic undergarment will also be placed on the deceased to avoid any leakage.

Leakage??????

That had to be disturbing for you. Ok, Googling it was no help. It’s obvious you care deeply for your mother. I don’t think you’ll make a mistake and handle everything concerning her with great care.

 

[Rita]

When my mum passed I don’t remember sending in underwear, and I sent trousers and a top and cardigan because that’s what she wore all the time. There are no rules really, it’s personal and completely up to what you would prefer. Usually the undertakers are really helpful and approachable , so they would be open to you asking them for advice xxxx

Much love xxxxxxxxx

 

[Ritajanice]

I am asking for me.

My mom had progressing dementia. I am her only care giver. The only one to make decisions and it occurred to me that every one else in the family who died gave clothing to my moms niece but she never said what it entailed.

I do not want to ask her. And certainly not mom.... who likely would not understand at this point.

Ask her what her favourite clothing is..of course full attire.

My Dad was cremated wearing our favourite jumper on him, trousers, underwear, shoes, everything...xx hope this helps.

 

[Rella ~ I am a woman]

Thank you everyone,

I had never given thought as there will be the smallest of funerals and a closed casket.

I will ask the furneral home when the time comes.

 

[Rita]

Thank you everyone,

I had never given thought as there will be the smallest of funerals and a closed casket.

I will ask the furneral home when the time comes.

One thought that did occur to me, when the time comes xx, maybe dress your mum in something you remember her choosing for herself - dementia often takes that choice away. So perhaps through this act you will allow your mum to convey who she was, not who she became through the illness xxxx
A symbolic way of turning the years back xx

 

[3 Resurrections]

And should a lady always wear a dress or skirt and not slacks for her burial?

My parents both requested to be buried in a new set of pajamas. The symbolism not being lost that the body of the believer is merely sleeping until the day of the bodily resurrection. My father was posed by the funeral home staff with his hand tucked under his head as if he was only taking a brief nap. They both died in their early 90's within a couple years of each other, and just missed their 64th anniversary together.

(PS. I have my own new set of pajamas selected, and ready whenever God picks the time. Including my old baby blanket to go with me for my temporary "nap time".)

 

[Pearl]

My parents both requested to be buried in a new set of pajamas. The symbolism not being lost that the body of the believer is merely sleeping until the day of the bodily resurrection. My father was posed by the funeral home staff with his hand tucked under his head as if he was only taking a brief nap. They both died in their early 90's within a couple years of each other, and just missed their 64th anniversary together.

(PS. I have my own new set of pajamas selected, and ready whenever God picks the time. Including my old baby blanket to go with me for my temporary "nap time".)

That's a lovely idea. I think I will go with that for myself and my husband.