Jokes, fun and comedy

[Sabertooth]

In remembrance of the [USA] Christmas 2021 looting epidemic,...

A girl was walking down the street one night with her gangster boyfriend
when they passed a jewelry store.

"Oh!" she said, "Look at that beautiful diamond necklace.
I'd just love to have that."

So her boyfriend picked up a brick, smashed the window,
took out the necklace and gave it to her.

A little ways down they passed a fur store and she looked in the window and said,
"Oh, look at that beautiful fur stole. I'd just love to have that fur stole!"

So once again her boyfriend picked up a brick and threw it through the window,
got the fur stole and gave it to her.

It wasn't too much longer when they passed by a car dealership.
"Oh", she said, "I'd just love to have that Cadillac there in the showroom!"

He looked at her and said,
"What do you think? I'm made out of bricks?"

 

[Mayflower]

Haha saw this in new posts after posting. So I'll post it here too

 

[Josho]

@Angelina @Backlit @APAK @Stumpmaster don't know if you have seen this guy, but he is pretty funny.

 

[quietthinker]

Jokes, fun and comedy
too much fun is not allowed!

 

[Heart2Soul]

So new thread, jokes, fun and comedy, keep it clean.

@Josho...
What has 4 letters
Sometimes has 9
And never has 5

 

[quietthinker]

In remembrance of the [USA] Christmas 2021 looting epidemic,...

A girl was walking down the street one night with her gangster boyfriend
when they passed a jewelry store.

"Oh!" she said, "Look at that beautiful diamond necklace.
I'd just love to have that."

So her boyfriend picked up a brick, smashed the window,
took out the necklace and gave it to her.

A little ways down they passed a fur store and she looked in the window and said,
"Oh, look at that beautiful fur stole. I'd just love to have that fur stole!"

So once again her boyfriend picked up a brick and threw it through the window,
got the fur stole and gave it to her.

It wasn't too much longer when they passed by a car dealership.
"Oh", she said, "I'd just love to have that Cadillac there in the showroom!"

He looked at her and said,
"What do you think? I'm made out of bricks?"

Men are such suckers!

 

[Taken]

A husband says to his wife, Honey I found a job.
Wife says that’s fantastic.
Husband says it’s 40 hours a week, Monday thru Friday, $20.00 an hour, on the bus line, free coffee on breaks...
Wife says that’s wonderful, I’m so happy.
Husband says me too, You start Monday.

 

[Taken]

Born free, taxed to death.

Ever think about leaving the land of the free,
Denouncing your citizenship,
Sneaking into the land of the free,
Getting free healthcare, free dental care, free food, free clothing,
Free education, free housing, free electronics, free money,
free transportation, and Become a Congressman, raise taxes and
living in luxury for the rest of your life, on the born free efforts?

 

[quietthinker]

A husband says to his wife, Honey I found a job.
Wife says that’s fantastic.
Husband says it’s 40 hours a week, Monday thru Friday, $20.00 an hour, on the bus line, free coffee on breaks...
Wife says that’s wonderful, I’m so happy.
Husband says me too, You start Monday.

funny but sexist!

 

[Taken]

Life is about balance.

I have a dog that loves me unconditionally,
I have a cat that reminds me I don’t deserve it.

 

[Taken]

funny but sexist!

Never been a politician,
Never saw the need to be politically correct.

 

[quietthinker]

Life is about balance.

I have a dog that loves me unconditionally,
I have a cat that reminds me I don’t deserve it.

are cats jealous?

 

[Taken]

are cats jealous?

I love cats, but don’t think I could eat a whole one.

 

[quietthinker]

Never been a politician,
Never saw the need to be politically correct.

Patriarchy embeds itself in the language and many are oblivious to it.......while others suffer quietly.

 

[quietthinker]

I love cats, but don’t think I could eat a whole one.

If the whole was big enough there probably wouldn't be much left to eat.

 

[Taken]

Wife to husband. Do you think I’m fat?
Husband to wife. I think you are easier to see.

 

[Rita]

A husband says to his wife, Honey I found a job.
Wife says that’s fantastic.
Husband says it’s 40 hours a week, Monday thru Friday, $20.00 an hour, on the bus line, free coffee on breaks...
Wife says that’s wonderful, I’m so happy.
Husband says me too, You start Monday.[/QUOTE

funny but sexist!

I think it’s funny, so as a women I can laugh at it …….of course you could change the husbands lines over with the wife’s then it could be classed as ‘ girl power ‘ !!

 

[Rita]

Oh @Taken , it wouldn’t let me quote that last one …….I choked on my tea when I read it, that’s brilliant xx

 

[Taken]

My best friend was diagnosed with schizophrenia...
I don’t care what the doctors say, he is good people.

 

[Taken]

The internet is a marvelous tool for establishing a pen pal, writing, sending photos, learning about different cultures.
I found a pen pal, in North Korea. Ask him how everything was going...
He said I CAN’T complain.

 

[Taken]

Modern Federalism-
If I had a penny...
If I had a nickel...
If I had a dollar....
If I had a hundred bucks...
If I had a million bucks every time the Feds raised taxes, I’d be rich.