Exposed again! ;) Actually it depends how you see things whether for yourself or for God.
Now we live in a very selfish society..and add to that our own selfish carnal nature....and the gospel is sure to be flipped around in it's purpose.
Do we see Christianity as
an end....which serves ourselves...or
a MEANS by which the will of God is done.
If we see this (the gospel) as
an end in itself....then we will distort the gospel for something that serves the fallen nature in men. of course you are falling in to that category...seeing how God can be of service to you. And this fully distorts the biblical message and subverts it to serve oneself.
But if it is
a means...then it is the POWER to do the will of God...which also justifies our actions favourably for salvation and reward.
So then who is serving whom? That's what you need to set your mind to. That's the calibration one needs to ascertain the bias of the message.
The command that Abraham kept was to love God. with even the life of his son. So then to forsake all in this world is just to display our love for God. And unless we do so we are not worthy to be close to God forever. We may yet be saved...but from a certain distance. Love for God brings us into the Bride of Christ.
Holding back our lives and loves from the Lord removes us into being a guest at His wedding...or worse...total rejection into outer darkness.
But who's afraid of that, right?
You have shown where you are on the spectrum... you see God as someone who serves your own interests. I can't really say good luck with that.