I grew up in Catholicism.
Yeah, me too uso, born into and raised, 30 years.
I can happily report that I witnessed nothing untoward at any time throughout my 12 years of Catholic education.
Most of the people I knew therein, including the 'priests' (mostly pure Irish, and maybe one Scottish, was a long time ago) were generally kind persons, and meant well, and took their positions of authority seriously, and I never heard anything of secret practices, but then again, I never considered to look either. My own family, some of whom until rather recently worked for the local bishop in the city in which they reside, worked very hard, and chose a 'religious' life of service for others, and unwed teens, etc. Yet they did not realize the darkside of Roman Catholicism that was causing the problems in the first place. A long story ...
But, my sister, 19 years older than I, received a similar education but at the hands of nuns and priests, and despite loving parents and religious education, left school a total atheist, and now In her late 80s, refuses to discuss religion, at all. I have often wondered if she was mistreated.
Interesting to note that "Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta", aka 'Lady GaGa' was also so raised, before becoming what she is now. -
Lady Gaga - Wikipedia
What she experienced, literally destroyed her.
We were never close being so far apart both in age and residence so have never had opportunity to ask. But I have my fears.
God takes into account everything, and yet God was and is always faithful, at all times, even when we are asleep, to speak to those out of the way, until they close their ears permanently.
What I can understand, though it may escape the apprehension of others, is why current Catholic church members are openly in various stages of denial or attempting to divert guilt upon others.
Yes, this is most prevalent.
I can understand it because it is a fearful thing to take a decision against an apparatus that your entire life has held you in great fear that should you leave, deny, question, doubt, the church in any way shape or form, meant eternal hell...
Yes, there is a deep-seated fear underlying it all.
a sin against the church...
Some of this, but in retrospect, for myself, it was more a fear of thinking that Catholicism was "it", and there was nothing else, and so to seek Jesus and truth outside of it was like casting away from a known island, into a vast ocean, not sure where or if any other land was. Yet, God brought me through.
Unbelief in the successor to Peter...
It was not so much any attachment to the pope (PPJII) at the time, the so-called successor of Peter (rather, of Judas, in retrospect), but rather the ingrained attachment to 'the mother figure', "Mary". My Rosary, scapula, pieta book, etc were always with me, and it was the Rosary which was the last thing to go, and had it hanging from my bookshelf for the longest time, praying to God, in tears about what to do with it, and whether I was going to offend this God, for throwing away, and turning from praying unto 'her'. That I feared the most (see below), and caused me the most intense internal agony of mind/heart. Darkness crowded in upon me, for weeks. It wasn't until I cast myself upon the bosom of Jesus Christ in prayer, and obtained courage to be rid of the thing, and the idea of 'her', that peace, freedom, joy and glorious Light came.
Was tantamount to a denial of Christ.
Yes, for I thought in rejecting the one (which was so intimately attached to the other in Roman Catholicism, as if one were the other, and in a sense it is this, for satan masquerades as he wills), I was rejecting Jesus. This truly frightened me, for I desired not to offend Jesus and so lose all hope of Heaven, and obtain only eternal torments (Roman Catholicism's terrible pagan doctrine) in hellfire.
This is the mindset inculcated into Catholics from the youngest if ages, and explains also to a great extent why going children are so vulnerable to the authority and stature of the priests.
I even remember, vaguely, but still present with me, when I was so young, 5,6,7?? watching a VHS on Roman Catholic purgatory, of a bleeding statue, in a room of very red (the color sticks out the most to me) fire, which wept tears, as the person was kneeling in agonies before it. I cannot remember the title of this video, or even how long it was, but this one scene still is with me, even if a bit hazy now after so many years.
It is wholly indicative of the cult status of Catholicism.
Sister White put it succinctly:
"... Many Protestants suppose that the Catholic religion is unattractive and that its worship is a dull, meaningless round of ceremony. Here they mistake. While Romanism is based upon deception, it is not a coarse and clumsy imposture. The religious service of the Roman Church is a most impressive ceremonial. Its gorgeous display and solemn rites fascinate the senses of the people and silence the voice of reason and of conscience. The eye is charmed. Magnificent churches, imposing processions, golden altars, jeweled shrines, choice paintings, and exquisite sculpture appeal to the love of beauty. The ear also is captivated. The music is unsurpassed. The rich notes of the deep-toned organ, blending with the melody of many voices as it swells through the lofty domes and pillared aisles of her grand cathedrals, cannot fail to impress the mind with awe and reverence. {GC 566.2}
This outward splendor, pomp, and ceremony, that only mocks the longings of the sin-sick soul, is an evidence of inward corruption. The religion of Christ needs not such attractions to recommend it. In the light shining from the cross, true Christianity appears so pure and lovely that no [567] external decorations can enhance its true worth. It is the beauty of holiness, a meek and quiet spirit, which is of value with God. {GC 566.3}
Brilliancy of style is not necessarily an index of pure, elevated thought. High conceptions of art, delicate refinement of taste, often exist in minds that are earthly and sensual. They are often employed by Satan to lead men to forget the necessities of the soul, to lose sight of the future, immortal life, to turn away from their infinite Helper, and to live for this world alone. {GC 567.1}
A religion of externals is attractive to the unrenewed heart. The pomp and ceremony of the Catholic worship has a seductive, bewitching power, by which many are deceived; and they come to look upon the Roman Church as the very gate of heaven. None but those who have planted their feet firmly upon the foundation of truth, and whose hearts are renewed by the Spirit of God, are proof against her influence. Thousands who have not an experimental knowledge of Christ will be led to accept the forms of godliness without the power. Such a religion is just what the multitudes desire. {GC 567.2}
The church's claim to the right to pardon leads the Romanist to feel at liberty to sin; and the ordinance of confession, without which her pardon is not granted, tends also to give license to evil. He who kneels before fallen man, and opens in confession the secret thoughts and imaginations of his heart, is debasing his manhood and degrading every noble instinct of his soul. In unfolding the sins of his life to a priest,--an erring, sinful mortal, and too often corrupted with wine and licentiousness,--his standard of character is lowered, and he is defiled in consequence. His thought of God is degraded to the likeness of fallen humanity, for the priest stands as a representative of God. This degrading confession of man to man is the secret spring from which has flowed much of the evil that is defiling the world and fitting it for the final destruction. Yet to him who loves self-indulgence, [568] it is more pleasing to confess to a fellow mortal than to open the soul to God. It is more palatable to human nature to do penance than to renounce sin; it is easier to mortify the flesh by sackcloth and nettles and galling chains than to crucify fleshly lusts. Heavy is the yoke which the carnal heart is willing to bear rather than bow to the yoke of Christ. {GC 567.3} ..." - The Great Controversy; pages 566.2 - 567.3
I count myself blessed to have been freed from such fears since my early 20s... My compassion for those still caught up in the deceptions and lies having never met the real Jesus.
Glad you are my brother uso brakelite. :)