The History of Marriages in Christianity
Short answer....casual sex is a sin worse than most Christian know. Now for the long answer....get a cup of coffee and get comfortable....
I call my ministry the Johnny Appleseed of Truth….So truth is the focus and exposing false beliefs is my top priority….And this topic involves many false beliefs that are popular….so lets get it straight….
Martin Luther was a Catholic that was out to reform the Catholic Church. And marriage was on that list of items to correct the Catholic Church on. He preached sermons supporting marriage beginning in 1519 and several years later wrote his first formal thesis attacking the value of the vows of celibacy for the clergy and arguing that marriage was the best Christian life. In the process he fell in love with a Nun and he eventually married her…. Katharina von Bora
And then Marten Luther wrote “The Estate of Marriage” 1522….Here is part of what he had to say….
How I dread preaching on the estate of marriage! I am reluctant to do it because I am afraid if I once get really involved in the subject it will make a lot of work for me and for others. The shameful confusion wrought by the accursed papal law has occasioned so much distress, and the lax authority of both the spiritual and the temporal swords has given rise to so many dreadful abuses and false situations, that I would much prefer neither to look into the matter nor to hear of it. But timidity is no help in an emergency; I must proceed. I must try to instruct poor bewildered consciences, and take up the matter boldly.
This is pretty long so here is the link
Luther: The Estate of Marriage.
Now for many this will be a little shocking….for one he does not mention wedding ceremonies put he talks about polygamy saying.. "I confess that I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict the scripture.”…..This is a fact the scriptures never put a moratorium on polygamy or concubinage. This is another topic but Jews who were converting to Christianity were not told to divorce all but one of their wives and polygamy and concubinage continued on in Christianity for centuries after the biblical period. Of course people have a tendency to whitewash history….believing what they prefer.
The first requirement for Christian wedding ceremonies to be married occurs in the mid 1500’s. Martin's “Estate of Marriage” was written in 1522 so that is why he does not mention weddings. It was actually the Protestants that made church wedding ceremonies a requirement and then shortly after the Catholic Church made wedding ceremonies a requirement, but of course they only recognized weddings conducted by Catholic priests. The funny here is that most Protestants do not know their own history in regard to this and think that wedding ceremonies was a biblical requirement and were happening all along. It is a good example of the power of false beliefs.
The first documentation for the model of Christian weddings and vows was by Thomas Cranmer in his Book of Common Prayer in1549.
So how did Christians get married before this? To start with lets take it back to the Bible.
You can read the Bible from cover to cover and you will not find a requirement for a wedding ceremony in the Bible….Old or New Testament.
The Jews had a process that involved payment for the bride but no ceremony required or described. The bride price or bride dowry was part of the Jewish customs where women were property. Property of father and then that property was sold to the groom. The process started usually between the fathers where they agreed on a bride price….sometimes between the father and husband. Either way the father was expected to deliver a virgin daughter ….if not, according to the Mosaic Law she could be killed and her body left at the father’s doorstep. The significance of the virginity of the bride continued on to modern times.
The father’s control over who and when his daughter married continued on until the Catholic Church forbid it in the 13th century, but this did not stop it entirely and the custom of paying a bride price continued on in Christianity until well into 19th century. Particularly in the upper class, history records such arrangements between Kingdoms particularly when marriages involved the transfer of wealth, land, and power. Of course outside of Christianity the practice continues.
After the bride price was paid the father handed his daughter over to the man…then the marriage was consummated in the bridal chamber…if there was one….and it actually was as the name implies. No vows or wedding ceremonies required. But in some cases there was a marriage contract and some families celebrated the event, clergy not necessary. A lot of times out in the wilderness couples just joined and stayed together….which is the primary characteristic of a marriage.
So why doesn’t the Bible require a wedding ceremony? Probably because wedding ceremonies, one way or another originated from Pagan customs and cultures.
So when Christ was talking about Weddings, Wedding Feast, Wedding garments, wedding guests, the ten virgins with lamps etc….where did this come from?
Note: This can be a difficult topic for “Bible Only” because the scriptures never put an end to polygamy or concubinage or stop father's control of who their daughter married or a requirement for a wedding ceremony to be married and Christianity did not develop a procedures for divorce….that is a “Letter of Divorcement” The word divorce does not occur outside of the Gospels. In other words divorce is a Jewish Mosaic custom. Christian “divorce” is another topic.
As far as the ten virgins with lamps etc, you will not find any of it anywhere else in the scriptures. In between the testaments, when the Jews were under the rule of the Persians they developed their own wedding ceremonies and receptions…feasts. Scholars believe it was because the Jews admired Persian weddings and celebrations. The Jewish weddings had an Old Testament theme and it is pretty well represented by Modern Jewish weddings, except the bridal chamber is replaced by a canopy called the Chuppah.
But after Alexander the Great conquered Persia the Greeks and then the Romans persecuted the Jews, killing and crucifying tens of thousands of them, as well as taking their wives, the Jews felt that all their misfortunes were due to them embracing Pagan customs so they distanced themselves from Pagan customs…that included wedding ceremonies.
During Christ’s time Jewish weddings mostly fell out of favor because of the Pagan connections with Persia. Then during the Middle Ages Jewish weddings became popular again.
Well what about the wedding at Cana? For one, like I said, the words wed or wedding do not appear in the scriptures. The actual scriptures say, the marriage in Cana, but in actually it could have been a wedding, but the scriptures do not detail that part. The scriptures discuss what we would call a reception.
The scriptures do not tell us if it was a Jewish wedding or a Pagan wedding …. The scriptures do not tell us who the bridegroom or bride was. All we know was that Christ and Christ’s mother was there and wine was so important that Christ performed a miracle at his mother’s request to turn water into superb wine. Still it is not too far fetched to believe it was a Jewish celebration or even a wedding.
So how did Christians get married back in the day? They married just like they did in the Old Testament….
they took a wife, the union being the consummation of the marriage. The father chose when and who his daughter married and there could still be a bride price and they could have a celebration. Did the fathers always pick their daughter’s husbands and receive a bride price? Probably not.
No weddings! The Jewish-Christians probably did not have many. The Gentile-Christians, when they came on board introduced Christianity to wedding ceremonies that we know today. Which is why I am confident that wedding ceremonies were occurring, but still the first documented Christian wedding does not occur until the 9th century and still not a requirement.
Gentile-Christians were Pagans that had converted to Christianity, they converted their religious beliefs but they did not abandon all their various regional customs and traditions and seasonal holidays. Weddings were popular with Pagan cultures. So it is very likely that wedding ceremonies were conducted by Gentile-Christians.
Like I said in the mid1500’s the Protestants made it a requirement to have a church wedding ceremony. And like I said, soon after that the Catholics followed suite. But just to be clear, again Christians and Catholics had wedding ceremonies all along….just not required or well documented. The funny? The Catholics were not big on romance…ergo the celibate requirement for clergy and up to the 1500’s Catholics did not allow weddings inside church buildings. But then after the 1500’s they required all weddings to be inside a Catholic church and then at the Council of Trent in 1563 the Catholic Church made marriage a sacrament.
Continued.....