Strength and Honor: Triumphing over Feminism

[MA2444]

Plenty of people have

What? Maybe 1 in 240,000 have? I say this is largely BS, and I think you know it. You must know it, lol.

I havent commented on it, but you have said a couple times how you are such a moral and good girl and didnt put out and all like that, and you are smart and intelligent...but just have terrible luck because you kept picking evil geniuses who were smart enough to hide their true self and intent for long enough to get you roped in to bad situations. Let me ask you a question. You've had four or five failed relationships? WHy is it that out of fiven men, you couldnt keep one of them?
Dont tell me that you didnt make any mistakes because that is BS.
If you was so moral and pure and smart and good....then you couldnt cause one man to not be mean to you. Not one of those men loved this pure and moral and smart girl, and you couldnt cultivate that into love from them, help them grow into something wonderful? Not one? WHy is that?

When me and my brother were young we would go out picking up chicks together. It was so easy to get laid that laid, even when we were broke but still wanted to do something tonight. Hey I know, lets go ask girls for their phone number and see how many times we could get rejected, and keep track of that. It's easy to get rejected too, lol. All you have to do is be more direct than a girl is comfortable with, lol.
Hey babe, let's get together! Uhhh no! (didnt see that coming, lol!)

So we went to opposite sides of the street right on the strip (High st OSU area) and started walking. EVen though it was so easy to hook up, it's just as easy to get rejected. I siad something a little too suggestive to a girl standing in front of 7-11 and she said, Hey! No! And I said, that's cool, and I didnt even break my stride and kept walking. I thought it was over, on to the next one. But here comes the 7-11 girl running up the street towards me, and she said here's my number, what's your name? As she pressed a bit of paper into my hand with her number on it. (Dangit! I was trying to get rejected!)

WHy did the girl do that? I was crass. I was already gone. She ran and chased me up the street? Something clicked inside that girl to make her chase a man that she had just rejected. Did me withdrawing my attention from her and continuing to walk appear confident? Something like thatThe emotions of the moment did it. I was very handsome at that age and so I tink she just had a good comeback for such a crass approach. But she seen how handsome I was. She seen me walk away! She wanted me to stay and simp for her attention maybe? Bye. I kept going! She felt that as rejection I think, and any man rejects a woman has to be good, and he's getting awaw! Lol.
I never did call her. She wasnt my really my type and I was just trying to get rejected anyway to beat my brother so I hit on her in a crass way. Not what I said as much as how I said it.

Remember Joey on Friends? How You Doin? An exagerated version of that. It was all in his tone, not what he said.

 

[Wrangler]

You calling the Iroquois "model" of feminism "covetous"?

Strawman and Appeal to Diversion. Exceptions don’t make rules.

 

[Wrangler]

Funny how that "system" has been successful for THOUSANDS of years.

I would hardly call a Stone Age culture in the time of the Renaissance that led to them being conquered a successful system. One wonders what you deem a failing system to be?

 

[St. SteVen]

White paper on the role of women in church leadership and ministry.

https://ag.org/Beliefs/Position-Papers/The-Role-of-Women-in-Ministry

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[Mink57]

So I'm supposed to be able to see red flags 25 years before they get there? Good one!

Whether it's 25 years or 25 weeks doesn't matter. You're faulting ME for "not seeing the red flags" immediately.

Not really. So I made a mistake. I can buy that. But so what? It's not like I'm all alone in having made mistakes. The difference between me and you is I can admit my mistake, and you wont admit yours.

Obviously, I HAVE said that I made mistakes. PLURAL. Hence, it's why I took a "leave" from dating/relationships.

Because you know as well as I do that men have to ask women if they wil marry them. It's the woman that says yes or no. WHen a man wants to have sex, what does the man do? ...Hey honey you want to? Another question. So women are pretty much in charge of marriage and sex.

And yet, in women's 'circles' it's the man who controls the relationship. HE gets to decide IF he's going to ask her to marry him, and you know as well as I, that there ARE men who will string a woman along...for YEARS. The whole "Why buy the cow...?" She can't really FORCE him to ask her. But she CAN ask him, "Are we going to get married?"

Yeah maybe she was an evil genius and said bwahahaha I'll bide my time for 25 years and then leave him...! Are you for real? Lol.

Yup! Sort of like, how can you predict whether someone will cheat 25 weeks into a relationship...or 25 years into one?

Ok so I owned that I mad mistakes. No big deal for a man to admit a mistake, even a big one.
Your turn....can you admit that you were wrong 5 times? Can you admit that you could have said no at least 4 times?

Ohhhh, I made more than 4-5 mistakes, but perhaps you're not understanding what a "mistake" is. For example, I wasn't into drugs. No weed. No Cocaine. No needles. No abuse of pills, etc. And when I told them this UP FRONT, they told me that they weren't either. Meanwhile, some time passes. We're going somewhere in his car. He asks me to get something out of his glove compartment. I open it. And, what's THIS white powder in a bag? Baking soda? At that point, not only are they into it, but they lied about it. Yeah, I. Am. DONE.

 

[Wrangler]

And yet, when a woman WANTS to pay for a day, the men get all up in arms...feel "emasculated"....

Seriously, women can't 'win' with you guys...

Never heard that before. As you like to say SOME men can be foolish. I ‘let’ my wife pay for what she covets regularly. In fact, this method tends to keep her coveting in line.

Often, she’ll suggest we go out to dinner. I ask if she’s buying? Her shoulders usually drop and instead ‘lets’ me cook the frozen fish sticks I bought.

She also expresses resentment that I go out to dinner with friends, not wanting to acknowledge my friends don’t expect me to pay all the time like some wives I know. LOL

It’s just another example of a women under-valuing her man’s contribution. That’s quite a sense of entitlement. Men have to pay for a date because they ask. But once married and the woman wants to go out, the man is STILL supposed to pay. Seems RESPONSIBILITY just does not come naturally for women huh?

 

[Wrangler]

And THEREIN lies the rub! A MAN wants to pay for the dates because he EXPECTS sex from her!!!

Whoa...Her "Responsibility?" Noooo......just
noooooooooo

Yes and yes. Now you are getting it.

Feminists are so self-centered, they cannot even imagine what would motivate a man to sacrifice his excess labor to her other than the joy of being in her bitter and resentful presence. LOL.

 

[Mink57]

Responsibility is a compound word. It's made of two words combines. It breaks down to, Response, and Ability. Which is the Ability to respond appropriatey and intelligently.

That's what women can't do. They cant take responsibility for anything. How could any woman who has had several failed relationships rationalize them into thinking that she did nothing wrong. One time is bad luck, could happen to anybody. Twice? There's a problem that needs to be addressed. Why wasnt she Able to Respond appropriately and say no to the next three turds in her successive relationships?

I don't only have ONE 'deal-breaker'. I have MORE than one. Cheating...abuse...drugs...excessive alcohol...excessive control...disrespect...lying...laziness...

And how about other deal-breakers like not sharing the same religious/moral values? Or one person's neat and the other is a slob? Or that he wants to live on a ranch in Montana, and I want to stay in the 'burbs in New York?

This is an otherwise capable woman who has intelligence and skills to do many things, so it's not like she's retarded or anything. Why could she not learn to see red flags and say to the mistake that she already made a few times? She's shown herself to not be stupid, so it must be something else.

And I just mentioned what that "something else" is in the paragraph above.

Women are emotionally driven. But women have no emotional intelligence. All they know (Guessing) is the emotional highs they get from bad boys. That surge of adreneline. In the moment and all that, and with a whole lot of reationalizations to justify the mistake afterwards. I was drunk, I was young and needed the money, my boyfriend cheated on me, he wont work, it just happened, works too much, and slaps me around!

You've mentioned 'bad boys' several times before. Some men are necessarily 'bad boys', but values just don't line up.

Are those reasons really reasons or merely excuses? The reason women like to believe that they have emotional intelligence is because they are highly emotional! As women want to think they have emotional intelligence, but the truth is, the fact that they are highly emotional is actually the biggest indicator that they have very low emotional intelligence because being emotional is having no control over our emotional state, which is low emotional intelligence.

I don't think you understand what "emotional intelligence" is.

High emotional intelligence is the abiity to be pragmatic, to see things realistically and to make choices and Respond to life not from an emotional place! It's the ability to be in control of our emotional state and operate in life from that place! Dont that make sense?

I was right. You DEFINITELY don't know what emotional intelligence is!
This from Wikipedia: "the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior".

Emotional intelligence - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

You have to own it that you were wrong and brought bad situations on yourself. Ok, so I goofed. So what? So do many other people, so you arent alone, lol. I made a bad choice once. I made an effort to not repeat the mistake even as I was walking away from McDonalds. In retrospect maybe I even made another poor choice in who I married? Who knows?

Matthew 7:13-14 "...For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Even if you made 10 "poor choices", they may have been for 10 different reasons. Wouldn't fault you for having standards.

But you have to strive to operate from an emotionally stable state where you are in control and dont let the heat of the moment get to you. You keep who you are, but stay in control. If you never admit it to yourself your mistake(s), then how will you start healing.

I've often wondered why women and certain others are so emotional. Scripture tells us to not think with our feelings but turn to God and havr faith in Him. So what the heck is emotions really for anyway?

I couldnt figure that out for years! But then I finally seen the scripture:

James 5:16
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.../KJV

It seems to say that the fervant prayers are effectual prayers and they availeth much!

We all know what fervancy is, right. A display of power in speech or work or whatever.
There's an auto accident and the momma's child is pinned under the car, no one around to help. She goes to help, she can not lift the car. She gets flustered and is very emotional and perhaps cries out, God help me...and then she picks the car up off of her child.

So maybe that's what emotions are for if we aint supposed to operate from them. Emotions are good in this way. They tell us what is wrong, fear, sadness and worry mixed with power and love bursts forth. In that situation I doubt she would even have to cry out to God. A sigh with fervancy would get the Lord's attention and He would have compassion and mercy on the momma and help her.

does that make sense? That emotions are for praying with?

Emotions may be for praying with, but I don't believe that they're ONLY for that reason.

 

[Mink57]

What? Maybe 1 in 240,000 have? I say this is largely BS, and I think you know it. You must know it, lol.

I havent commented on it, but you have said a couple times how you are such a moral and good girl and didnt put out and all like that, and you are smart and intelligent...but just have terrible luck because you kept picking evil geniuses who were smart enough to hide their true self and intent for long enough to get you roped in to bad situations. Let me ask you a question. You've had four or five failed relationships? WHy is it that out of fiven men, you couldnt keep one of them?

Like I said earlier, I had more than 4-5.

Dont tell me that you didnt make any mistakes because that is BS.
If you was so moral and pure and smart and good....then you couldnt cause one man to not be mean to you. Not one of those men loved this pure and moral and smart girl, and you couldnt cultivate that into love from them, help them grow into something wonderful? Not one? WHy is that?

I never said I was so "moral and pure", but I DID have standards. If I first meet you and tell you I own a dog and you say "I LOVE animals!"...and then after dating a few weeks I see you kick my dog, you're HISTORY. You HID your true self from me.

It's not up to me to 'help' someone become a 'better' man. We have a whole book written on how to be a decent person, and it's called the Bible.

When me and my brother were young we would go out picking up chicks together. It was so easy to get laid that laid, even when we were broke but still wanted to do something tonight. Hey I know, lets go ask girls for their phone number and see how many times we could get rejected, and keep track of that. It's easy to get rejected too, lol. All you have to do is be more direct than a girl is comfortable with, lol.
Hey babe, let's get together! Uhhh no! (didnt see that coming, lol!)

So we went to opposite sides of the street right on the strip (High st OSU area) and started walking. EVen though it was so easy to hook up, it's just as easy to get rejected. I siad something a little too suggestive to a girl standing in front of 7-11 and she said, Hey! No! And I said, that's cool, and I didnt even break my stride and kept walking. I thought it was over, on to the next one. But here comes the 7-11 girl running up the street towards me, and she said here's my number, what's your name? As she pressed a bit of paper into my hand with her number on it. (Dangit! I was trying to get rejected!)

WHy did the girl do that? I was crass. I was already gone. She ran and chased me up the street? Something clicked inside that girl to make her chase a man that she had just rejected. Did me withdrawing my attention from her and continuing to walk appear confident? Something like thatThe emotions of the moment did it. I was very handsome at that age and so I tink she just had a good comeback for such a crass approach. But she seen how handsome I was. She seen me walk away! She wanted me to stay and simp for her attention maybe? Bye. I kept going! She felt that as rejection I think, and any man rejects a woman has to be good, and he's getting awaw! Lol.
I never did call her. She wasnt my really my type and I was just trying to get rejected anyway to beat my brother so I hit on her in a crass way. Not what I said as much as how I said it.

Remember Joey on Friends? How You Doin? An exagerated version of that. It was all in his tone, not what he said.

Maybe she figured you weren't REALLY serious that night, but just had the where-with-all to say...whatever you said and how you said it...to get her attention. Who knows.

Oh, and in your Joey How You Doin? voice, I'd quickly respond in my best Rachel voice (the time she and Ross were drunk and got married in Vegas), "I'm doin' good, baby, how YOU doin?"

 

[Mink57]

Never heard that before. As you like to say SOME men can be foolish. I ‘let’ my wife pay for what she covets regularly. In fact, this method tends to keep her coveting in line.

Often, she’ll suggest we go out to dinner. I ask if she’s buying? Her shoulders usually drop and instead ‘lets’ me cook the frozen fish sticks I bought.

She also expresses resentment that I go out to dinner with friends, not wanting to acknowledge my friends don’t expect me to pay all the time like some wives I know. LOL

It’s just another example of a women under-valuing her man’s contribution. That’s quite a sense of entitlement. Men have to pay for a date because they ask. But once married and the woman wants to go out, the man is STILL supposed to pay. Seems RESPONSIBILITY just does not come naturally for women huh?

It REALLY depends on what is discussed and negotiated ahead of time. I don't agree with 'letting' a man pay for everything, especially by virtue of his gender. If HE invites me, HE pays. If *I* invite him, *I* pay, even if he makes more than me. Late husband and I had a "deal" that we called IBYF. I buy, you fly. I pay for the take out order, you go and get it. He would often pick up the tab because once he was home from work, he would change into sweats. He didn't want to change into jeans (he was funny like that) to go and get food. One day he said "Mink, how about YOU buy and YOU fly?" I laughed. He explained that he didn't have much cash on him. No problem. Happy to do it!

No, that's not an example of 'women' under-valuing her man's contribution. That's only ONE woman who under-valued your contribution.

 

[Mink57]

I would hardly call a Stone Age culture in the time of the Renaissance that led to them being conquered a successful system. One wonders what you deem a failing system to be?

One that isn't fair to everyone.

 

[MA2444]

Whether it's 25 years or 25 weeks doesn't matter. You're faulting ME for "not seeing the red flags" immediately.

It does matter. I could see plenty of red flags immediately on other women. My wife grew into being materialistic over time so there was no red flag, and when they did start appearing, I saw those immediaitely. So, what was the question again?

I saw the dancer girl of McDonalds fame red flags immediately. I knew she was a girl that I didnt want to marry but she'd be fun for awhile. I wasnt walking with God yet, He was the last thing on my mind at that age. And I didnt go looking for girls in church either! When she whipped out that paper looking for a place for me & her to move in to together, whoops, too far, bye, done. You can have the rest of my Strawberry milkshake... So I saw them when I needed to and if a dumb ol guy like me can see red flags immediately, why can't you? I mean, afterall, you are so competant and accomplished as a female, right? So I dont understand your difficulty, lol.

Whether it's 25 years or 25 weeks doesn't matter. You're faulting ME for "not seeing the red flags" immediately.

You know what though? Not really...once. It could happen to anyone once. But what about the other four times? Those ones.

Obviously, I HAVE said that I made mistakes. PLURAL. Hence, it's why I took a "leave" from dating/relationships.

So you isolated yourself. Hmmm.

And yet, in women's 'circles' it's the man who controls the relationship. HE gets to decide IF he's going to ask her to marry him, and you know as well as I, that there ARE men who will string a woman along...for YEARS. The whole "Why buy the cow...?" She can't really FORCE him to ask her. But she CAN ask him, "Are we going to get married?"

Nice try, wrong guy. Lol. The man controls the relationship After she has said yes. The female is in full control before anything ever happens. The most men can do is to say no, or please? Lol. Truth. It is true about why buy the cow if the milk is free. This brings us back to the womans choice again. You cant spot a drug addict when you see one? Lol! Whoa!. I can look at someone and know if their high, an addict and prolly what they're on. He's a pothead, she's a tweeker, there's Mr. Cocaine man. Come on, I dont believe that you cant see that in people! Even if they try to hide it because they all do that the same ways too, lol. You can't be that dumb. But you were. Why? And why is it not your fault?
It's like I said before. Women do not possess emotional stability or good sense in most cases. Some women do. But not many of them. How does a man tell? How fast does she say yes to sex?
My wife made me wait about 6 months! I tink she was the first girl to ever tell me no on a first date, lol. I respected the girl for that and it made me want her more. She is a special one...so I stuck around and kept trying! I was actually about to give up because she never said yes. I tthink she sensed it somehow that I was thinking about moving on to easier prospects, I was still a young man! And all of a sudden one night after work, she gave in and that sunk the hook deep. She was very smart about how she handled that. That hook was deep and she had my total respect also and when I took her, I was in the position of what do I do with her now? That's easy for a 22 year old, come back tomorrow! And that little girl must have got pregnant the firt couple times we did it. It wasnt long before I was at her house for my nightly, and I seen that the shape of her belly was changing...she has to be pregnant! I tld her that she was pregnant before she even had a clue. I knew what that bare belly looked like and it didnt look like that a week ago!
And that made me think. WHoa, this girl is going to have my baby. I have to get her a house, I have to do this thing. I dunno why I got away with it for so long with so many girls and nobody ever got pregnant except her. So I figured it was my time, that's all. And if we'll be living together playing house, and going to have my baby, then does she not also deserve my name? I knew she did. SO I proposed to her in a RAX roast beef restaurant, lol! And she said no, your too tall and dont dont make emough money for my lifestyle....

Lol!! Just kidding. She jumped up and down with glee and said yes! We made the whole restaurant get in on it. It was quite a scene, lol. Everybody cheered when she said yes.

Now let me ask you something. You dont have to answer me, not my business, but how long did you make #2 wait? Was it pre marriage? Was it too fast? How about #3? #4? When did you finally catch on? (Oh, you havent yet, sorry to hear that.)

Dont you know how men think? I can tell you that any man who becomes one in flesh with a woman, is in that mans heart on some level. e already feels responsibility for her.
I remember, not the men that you met...Well let's say we're talking about good men and not some Chad. Why do you keep saying yes to Chad? (Rhetorical).

 

[MA2444]

Yup! Sort of like, how can you predict whether someone will cheat 25 weeks into a relationship...or 25 years into one?

The short answer is you can't. You have to be able to perceive character. Is this hard for you? They wear their red flags tatooed on their Foreheads for geezow sake! Is a red flag there today? Is a redflag there tomorrow? Is a red flag there 25 weeks into the relationship? Is the a red flag at 25 years into the relationship?
I didnt see red flags start being flown until year 23.

So what was my mistake? I sen it all coming, when it began moving and manifested as a red flag. Why cant you do that? I aint much special and I can do it.

Ohhhh, I made more than 4-5 mistakes, but perhaps you're not understanding what a "mistake" is. For example, I wasn't into drugs. No weed. No Cocaine. No needles. No abuse of pills, etc. And when I told them this UP FRONT, they told me that they weren't either. Meanwhile, some time passes. We're going somewhere in his car. He asks me to get something out of his glove compartment. I open it. And, what's THIS white powder in a bag? Baking soda? At that point, not only are they into it, but they lied about it. Yeah, I. Am. DONE.

So what? After how long in the relationship did that happen? Of course everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning! So of course they may lie to cover up things that you dont approve of. You caught him. Live and learn. Bye. How long did it take from when you said no drugs to when you caught him?
A month? A year? 5 years? You cant hang out with people constantly like you do in a relationship and not start getting to know them better. So were you being cluelss? Or was he that good at hiding it! (It doesnt sound like he was lol)

 

[Mink57]

It does matter. I could see plenty of red flags immediately on other women. My wife grew into being materialistic over time so there was no red flag, and when they did start appearing, I saw those immediaitely. So, what was the question again?

And likewise, I could see red flags immediately sometimes, but not always.

I saw the dancer girl of McDonalds fame red flags immediately. I knew she was a girl that I didnt want to marry but she'd be fun for awhile.

And I can't have the same attitude because...?

I wasnt walking with God yet, He was the last thing on my mind at that age. And I didnt go looking for girls in church either! When she whipped out that paper looking for a place for me & her to move in to together, whoops, too far, bye, done. You can have the rest of my Strawberry milkshake... So I saw them when I needed to and if a dumb ol guy like me can see red flags immediately, why can't you? I mean, afterall, you are so competant and accomplished as a female, right? So I dont understand your difficulty, lol.

The red flags aren't always apparent IMMEDIATELY, especially the 'deal-breakers' I mentioned in the other post.

You know what though? Not really...once. It could happen to anyone once. But what about the other four times? Those ones.



So you isolated yourself. Hmmm.

I didn't "isolate" myself. I did a bunch of soul-searching. Began my Walk With God around that time, too. Jesus was in my life. He's the only "man" I need.

Nice try, wrong guy. Lol. The man controls the relationship After she has said yes. The female is in full control before anything ever happens. The most men can do is to say no, or please? Lol. Truth. It is true about why buy the cow if the milk is free. This brings us back to the womans choice again. You cant spot a drug addict when you see one? Lol! Whoa!. I can look at someone and know if their high, an addict and prolly what they're on. He's a pothead, she's a tweeker, there's Mr. Cocaine man. Come on, I dont believe that you cant see that in people! Even if they try to hide it because they all do that the same ways too, lol. You can't be that dumb. But you were. Why? And why is it not your fault?

I'm not "dumb." I'm so far out of the loop regarding drugs that unless someone was EXTREMELY high, I couldn't tell. A friend of mine from long ago, did a line of cocaine in front of me. I couldn't tell any difference in her behavior, speech, mannerisms, etc. People have also smoked weed in front of me. Again, I couldn't tell if they were high because they weren't acting any different. But again, if they were completely WASTED, I could tell they were on...something. But again, how often did I see that? I just wasn't exposed to that lifestyle because I REMOVED MYSELF from it.

What's a "tweeker"?

It's like I said before. Women do not possess emotional stability or good sense in most cases. Some women do. But not many of them. How does a man tell? How fast does she say yes to sex?
My wife made me wait about 6 months! I tink she was the first girl to ever tell me no on a first date, lol. I respected the girl for that and it made me want her more. She is a special one...so I stuck around and kept trying!

That would be off-putting for me.

I was actually about to give up because she never said yes. I tthink she sensed it somehow that I was thinking about moving on to easier prospects, I was still a young man! And all of a sudden one night after work, she gave in and that sunk the hook deep. She was very smart about how she handled that. That hook was deep and she had my total respect also and when I took her, I was in the position of what do I do with her now? That's easy for a 22 year old, come back tomorrow! And that little girl must have got pregnant the firt couple times we did it. It wasnt long before I was at her house for my nightly, and I seen that the shape of her belly was changing...she has to be pregnant! I tld her that she was pregnant before she even had a clue. I knew what that bare belly looked like and it didnt look like that a week ago!
And that made me think. WHoa, this girl is going to have my baby. I have to get her a house, I have to do this thing. I dunno why I got away with it for so long with so many girls and nobody ever got pregnant except her. So I figured it was my time, that's all. And if we'll be living together playing house, and going to have my baby, then does she not also deserve my name? I knew she did. SO I proposed to her in a RAX roast beef restaurant, lol! And she said no, your too tall and dont dont make emough money for my lifestyle....

Wow! Really? You're too tall to marry, but not too tall to have sex with? You don't make enough money for her lifestyle? Whoa...

Lol!! Just kidding. She jumped up and down with glee and said yes! We made the whole restaurant get in on it. It was quite a scene, lol. Everybody cheered when she said yes.

OH, LOL!!! You had me going!

Now let me ask you something. You dont have to answer me, not my business, but how long did you make #2 wait? Was it pre marriage? Was it too fast? How about #3? #4? When did you finally catch on? (Oh, you havent yet, sorry to hear that.)

Not that it's not your business, but not the Internets business, LOL! Let's just say, I waited a few months EACH time. I think the minimum time was 2 months.

Dont you know how men think? I can tell you that any man who becomes one in flesh with a woman, is in that mans heart on some level. e already feels responsibility for her.
I remember, not the men that you met...Well let's say we're talking about good men and not some Chad. Why do you keep saying yes to Chad? (Rhetorical).

I DON'T, nor have I EVER said 'yes' to "Chad".
As for you, you might see yourself as a "Chad", but I'm certainly not, nor was I EVER a Stacy.

 

[Mink57]

The short answer is you can't. You have to be able to perceive character. Is this hard for you? They wear their red flags tatooed on their Foreheads for geezow sake! Is a red flag there today? Is a redflag there tomorrow? Is a red flag there 25 weeks into the relationship? Is the a red flag at 25 years into the relationship?
I didnt see red flags start being flown until year 23.

Why do you keep talking to me as if I STILL get involved with people like that? I've been talking about my PREVIOUS experiences regarding RELATIONSHIPS from over a DECADE ago and farther BACK, and my PRESENT experiences simply by being 'out in the world'.

Men and women are cultured/brought up differently. Women are often taught to be demure, sweet, loving, kind, gentle, etc. If a man mistreated her back in the 70's and even TODAY, she's often taught that "he's probably just under stress" or "boys will be boys." But even in the 70's I could see the red flags, but mostly after a few MONTHS. Once I saw them, I was OUTTA THERE.

So what was my mistake? I sen it all coming, when it began moving and manifested as a red flag. Why cant you do that? I aint much special and I can do it.

Often began subtly. A put-down over dinner that he would laugh off...or a comment about my clothes that he didn't like. Or he'd do something that he KNEW upset me and give me a flippant 'sorry'. These 'little' thing ADD UP, until one day...I had enough.

So what? After how long in the relationship did that happen? Of course everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning! So of course they may lie to cover up things that you dont approve of. You caught him. Live and learn. Bye. How long did it take from when you said no drugs to when you caught him?
A month? A year? 5 years? You cant hang out with people constantly like you do in a relationship and not start getting to know them better. So were you being cluelss? Or was he that good at hiding it! (It doesnt sound like he was lol)

Almost ALL of the time, these...deceptions...were discovered within the first 3 months of dating.

 

[MA2444]

I don't only have ONE 'deal-breaker'. I have MORE than one. Cheating...abuse...drugs...excessive alcohol...excessive control...disrespect...lying...laziness...

Interesting. We all have our prefrences and deal breakers. Could you expound on the "excessive control" deal breaker? Would this be, a man that you want to control? Or a man that can't control you? You would be against the man setting boundries for you in the relationship?

I think you was talking about being married so after the woman says yes, I'll marry you, it's not biblical for you to say the man can set no boundries for you. So am I missing something here or what?

And how about other deal-breakers like not sharing the same religious/moral values? Or one person's neat and the other is a slob? Or that he wants to live on a ranch in Montana, and I want to stay in the 'burbs in New York?

Uh-Oh, city girl. deal breaker, lol!! If she cant chop wood, what good is she? Lol! After all, werent all girls raised on a farm?

BTW, I've never had a passport in my life. That little Polish girl immigrated over here and found me and ounched me in the face with her lovely self! How do I stack up vs American Broads she (Never) said!! But I could see it was a no contest thing.

Man, Polish girls make great wives. They dont come to you all stuck up and stuff.

And I just mentioned what that "something else" is in the paragraph above.

And how about other deal-breakers like not sharing the same religious/moral values? Or one person's neat and the other is a slob? Or that he wants to live on a ranch in Montana, and I want to stay in the 'burbs in New York?

The 2nd is what you said in the previous paragraph.
So, you couldnt ask his religious affiliation? Can you not see by dating that he is a slob? Did you not listen when he was talking about living on a ranch is his dream? These things are not hidden. I dont understand your difficulty.

You've mentioned 'bad boys' several times before. Some men are necessarily 'bad boys', but values just don't line up.

Bad boys, Chads...there are different things they call those types. The men who bring nothing of value to a relationship besides their seed, and drama.
But some men are necessarily bad boys? I *think* I hear you defending at least a portion of bad boys. Huh. Imagine that. Must be some emotional moment that you couldnt live without, and in the end, he was a bum too?
See what you wrote? Bad boys are bad, but we need some bad boys...WHAT? There's more to this tht we havent heard. Or your just being emotionally unstable? You was prolly hurt pretty bad before I think.

 

[Wrangler]

If HE invites me, HE pays.

Not very committed to equality, are you? Such is feminism.

As a consequence of this lack of responsibility and sense of entitlement, many men are no longer taking NAG's on date's that cost anything. Women's response? Make vids complaining about it. Easier than taking responsibility.

Want me to post such vids?

 

[Wrangler]

One that isn't fair to everyone.

Life is not fair. Your utopian system is make believe, not obtainable in the real world. Another reason why feminism is evil.

 

[Wrangler]

It's not up to me to 'help' someone become a 'better' man.

It most certainly is up to you to help someone become a better man! (And what is it with the quotes?) The entire purpose of woman's existence is to make the man a better man. That's Biblical. Eve made life better for Adam. That's why God created her! What are you talking about?! What kind of selfish world view do you have of relationships? If you don't make each other better, what is the point?! Abandoning this responsibility is yet another reason feminism is evil. Just EVIL!

Every woman I loved made me a better man. I'll never forget being publicly honored by my High School yearbook committee, along with about 5 other couples for being the loving couples we were. Frankly, I did not realize they were even aware of my 2-year relationship (a long time in high school). When they first told me and my gal to stand up, I did not know where it was going and felt protective of my love. Going from feeling a potential threat to public honor was a very, nice reversal.

She definitely made me a better man. In fact, my career has followed suit in pursuing Continuous Improvement. I embraced that Spirit at a tender age and only sought women who could step up to the plate, stand by my side in life's journey as we work to make our lives better through making each other better.

Today's feminists don't want to go through life's journey with a partner. They want the man to already be made, which is why they expect any prospective date to make $500K. Meanwhile, she's working for minimum at Walmart.

Why do we have a relationship with God and Jesus and any relationship, really if not that it makes you better? Unbelievable!

 

[Mink57]

Interesting. We all have our prefrences and deal breakers. Could you expound on the "excessive control" deal breaker? Would this be, a man that you want to control? Or a man that can't control you? You would be against the man setting boundries for you in the relationship?

Excessive control is in essence being "controlling." For example, when late husband and I first got together, I worked as a waitress for a short time. The second day of work, he comes into the bathroom while I'm in there. I had just put my hair up in a clip so it's above my shoulders (as TOLD TO ME TO DO BY MY MALE BOSS THE DAY I WAS HIRED). Plus, I've been a waitress before, so I KNOW that most waitresses put their hair UP to prevent loose hairs from getting in the food. Late husband swings me around and pulls me toward him. He goes in for a kiss...and tries to take the clip out of my hair. I stop him. He says, "I don't like it up. I like it loose around your shoulders." I explain to him WHY it's up. He insists I take it down because he doesn't like it, using anger as his weapon. Yeah, he lost that one.

Another example: A few months later after I had gotten a job in a law office. Late husband saw me getting ready for work one day. I worked in a law office where you had to dress fashionably conservative. I had dressed in a pair of slacks and a blazer. Late husband comes in and says, "I don't want you to wear that. I want you to wear that skirt that I like." He's TRYING to be controlling. Trying to control what clothes I'm wearing for HIS benefit, while not giving a hoot about ME. I said, "It's 36 degrees out, babe. I've wearing slacks. Besides, that skirt you like is too short for the office." He switches tactics. Gets 'angry'. Elevates his voice a bit, thinking he's going to scare me into submission. "You NEVER wear what I want you to wear!" (which is a complete and utter LIE, which is another tactic of control).

I think you was talking about being married so after the woman says yes, I'll marry you, it's not biblical for you to say the man can set no boundries for you. So am I missing something here or what?

Why can't he tell her what his boundaries are BEFORE they marry? Besides, what kind of boundaries are you talking about taking place AFTER marriage? If you think you'd have to control your wife's behavior, I'd be wondering WHY you married her in the first place?

Uh-Oh, city girl. deal breaker, lol!! If she cant chop wood, what good is she? Lol! After all, werent all girls raised on a farm?

Like I've never been on a farm or chopped wood before! But the point is, EITHER person can be VERY attached to a certain kind of lifestyle. Preferences that need to be discussed BEFORE getting so heavily involved. BTW, I've never had a passport in my life. That little Polish girl immigrated over here and found me and ounched me in the face with her lovely self! How do I stack up vs American Broads she (Never) said!! But I could see it was a no contest thing.

Man, Polish girls make great wives. They dont come to you all stuck up and stuff.

Well, she made a great wife for 26 years I think you said? Until one day...she didn't.

The 2nd is what you said in the previous paragraph.
So, you couldnt ask his religious affiliation? Can you not see by dating that he is a slob? Did you not listen when he was talking about living on a ranch is his dream? These things are not hidden. I dont understand your difficulty.

In your previous post (I think) you said, "Of course everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning! So of course they may lie to cover up things that you dont approve of."

So, yes I can ask him about religious affiliation, but no...you can't always tell that someone is a slob simply by the way they dress. Plus, they can get their sister/friend/Aunt/mother to clean their house for them before inviting you over.
The differences in where to live are usually pretty obvious, and probably wouldn't be hidden.

But things like drug use, like/dislike of animals for example, those AND OTHER things CAN be hidden for a while.

Bad boys, Chads...there are different things they call those types. The men who bring nothing of value to a relationship besides their seed, and drama.
But some men are necessarily bad boys? I *think* I hear you defending at least a portion of bad boys. Huh. Imagine that. Must be some emotional moment that you couldnt live without, and in the end, he was a bum too?
See what you wrote? Bad boys are bad, but we need some bad boys...WHAT? There's more to this tht we havent heard. Or your just being emotionally unstable? You was prolly hurt pretty bad before I think.

My bad. I meant to say, "Some men AREN'T necessarily 'bad boys', but values just don't line up." In other words, some men ARE truly nice guys, but your values/goals/beliefs etc. just don't line up.