I hate myself, and hate being an atheist.

  • Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.

    You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Cerraco

Member
Oct 23, 2023
105
24
18
35
Greenfield
Faith
Atheist
Country
United States
I don’t think what I’m about to say will come as any great surprise to you: I believe Jesus is the only solution for your problems.
Yeah...
You are wrong on the last point. If you became a Christian the world would change around you. It would hate you as it hated Jesus.
The world is gonna be what the world is gonna be, regardless of if I'm Christian or not. I don't think the world hating me as it did Christ sounds like a good thing. Religion doesn't work for everyone.
The men you described on that forum as you know are not good examples of how men should be.
Not all the guys on that forum are all that bad, as some live standard lives, but still offer very good advice and how to attract women. Make no mistake, there are some massive d-bags on there, but they do know their stuff. That redpilled trash just isn't for me.
 

Sparrow77

Active Member
Jun 18, 2024
71
124
33
I am orginally from Billings Montana
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Not all the guys on that forum are all that bad, as some live standard lives, but still offer very good advice and how to attract women. Make no mistake, there are some massive d-bags on there, but they do know their stuff. That redpilled trash just isn't for me.
Attracting is not the same as having a relationship, I was speaking about actually having some one in your life long term. For me I wouldnt personally be attracted to those types of men and non of the tricks of the trade are going to sway me in anyway. So not all women would go for that.
I guess you need to figure out what you are looking for and what you are wanting in life.

I used to struggling with immense self hatred, and self destructive issues to a extreme that ive never witnessed in another invidual
So self hate is somthing I am very familair with and its only by a act of God that I am did not commit sucide on several occasions. The self hate almost killed me, and its only becuase of Christ I am here, alive and free from those chains and that darkness. It wasnt a church, it wasnt a building, or a religion, it was God himself.

Your title says you hate yourself and you hate not believing in God.
If this is true then why dont you invite Him into your life?
What harm can it do to give it a try and see, Really honesty, what do you have to loose?
 

Cerraco

Member
Oct 23, 2023
105
24
18
35
Greenfield
Faith
Atheist
Country
United States
I don't think the universe wants me to get near the very concept of having a woman. In my school years, every time I was near the chick I liked, something embarrassing would happen. And I don't mean just here and there, I mean every single time, some sort of "event" would happen that would either embarrass me and/or ruin my chance in some way. This curse followed me for decades, so I sort... stopped trying.

I don't know if Christianity would work for me. Maybe this god guy could put his time into helping people who have next to nothing.
 

Sparrow77

Active Member
Jun 18, 2024
71
124
33
I am orginally from Billings Montana
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I don't think the universe wants me to get near the very concept of having a woman. In my school years, every time I was near the chick I liked, something embarrassing would happen. And I don't mean just here and there, I mean every single time, some sort of "event" would happen that would either embarrass me and/or ruin my chance in some way. This curse followed me for decades, so I sort... stopped trying.

I don't know if Christianity would work for me. Maybe this god guy could put his time into helping people who have next to nothing.
I am sorry for sure about that. Deffanitly though that doesnt have to be your entire life and if it is a curse thats another reason to try to christian thing, because Christ said He died not only for our sins but also to remove curses. So if you believe there is somthing like that happening you should consider this.
When you want government assistance you have to fill out the paperwork go in and prove your identity and then wait for help to arrive.
God already knows your identity and He doesn't require any paperwork. However He does require a invitation. So you must decide if you will open the door to your heart and let the Creator of the world in or not. He isn't going to kick the door in, He leaves it up to you.
 

Cerraco

Member
Oct 23, 2023
105
24
18
35
Greenfield
Faith
Atheist
Country
United States
I am sorry for sure about that. Deffanitly though that doesnt have to be your entire life and if it is a curse thats another reason to try to christian thing, because Christ said He died not only for our sins but also to remove curses. So if you believe there is somthing like that happening you should consider this.
When you want government assistance you have to fill out the paperwork go in and prove your identity and then wait for help to arrive.
God already knows your identity and He doesn't require any paperwork. However He does require a invitation. So you must decide if you will open the door to your heart and let the Creator of the world in or not. He isn't going to kick the door in, He leaves it up to you.
So this big invisible man in the sky removes curses? What about people who have been Christians their entire life, did nothing wrong and still suffer more than anyone else? What about their curses? Why aren't those lifted? What about people in the middle of war zones in the middle east? What's God's plan there?
 

Sparrow77

Active Member
Jun 18, 2024
71
124
33
I am orginally from Billings Montana
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
So this big invisible man in the sky removes curses? What about people who have been Christians their entire life, did nothing wrong and still suffer more than anyone else? What about their curses? Why aren't those lifted? What about people in the middle of war zones in the middle east? What's God's plan there?
Every Good gift comes from The Heavenly Father. He brings life, abundant life. He doesnt want any to suffer. It is not His plan that any should perish but that all would have to everlasting life. Though many choose to follow evil .
Everyone has free will, the world is in a fallen state because many have chosen to follow darkness over the Light and the Truth.
 

Cerraco

Member
Oct 23, 2023
105
24
18
35
Greenfield
Faith
Atheist
Country
United States
Every Good gift comes from The Heavenly Father. He brings life, abundant life. He doesnt want any to suffer. It is not His plan that any should perish but that all would have to everlasting life. Though many choose to follow evil .
Everyone has free will, the world is in a fallen state because many have chosen to follow darkness over the Light and the Truth.
I'm not saying that the advice you guys are giving me in terms of "go with god" is bad, but life is a bit more complex than that. For example, god makes some people perfect 10s, but some ugly. Why? If I become a Christian, my face is not gonna magically look any better. Someone who's bullied is not gonna make the bullies vanish by believing in Christ. You can believe whatever you want, but life stays life.

Edit: He doesn't want anyone to suffer? Your God is not very good at his job, he's created plenty of people born into horrible lives. Kind of defeats the purpose, yeah?
You are wrong on the last point. If you became a Christian the world would change around you. It would hate you as it hated Jesus.
Then we have this quote here... that last sentence... why would I want to be a Christian then? That's like offering to punch someone in the face to "fix" their toothache.
 

Ziggy

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2020
10,526
10,047
113
60
Maine, USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Mat 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

First God created man. And Adam obeyed God. God gave Adam rulership and dominion over everything he had made.
After a time God created a woman for Adam so he would not be alone. A helper for him.
Why would man need a helper if he already had God?
Why do we need the Holy Spirit to guide us?

What is a woman?

I been married twice, divorced twice, and now twice widowed.. I guess you could say, seeing they both passed away, the first as recent as a couple weeks ago, the second almost 3 years ago. Both divorces were caused by boredom. The newness had run out and after both marriages barely lasting 16 years each, they both had an ending.
Some marriages last a whole lifetime, but many don't. Not today. And they can bring more anxiety and stress than being celibate.

Saint Paul was celibate. He concentrated his entire life on becoming more like the creator who created him and the promises that were before him. He considered God the highest prize to run the race for and win.

I met Jesus when I was 17 years old and that relationship is still as strong if not stronger at the age of 59.

You believe because you haven't had sex that you are inadaquite as a man, but in fact it makes you stronger by having God be your leaning post instead of another person.
Your appearance doesn't matter to God. He loves you exactly the way you are. The only thing he asks is for your love and faithfulness in return. He isn't looking for beauty queens or macho men. He's looking for you.

How many women you have notched on your belt .... only word comes to mind is respect.

Some men have no respect, and God gives them women of little respect. So they can keep count of how many relationships they have had that led to nothing but a few minutes of physical pleasure, and perhaps years of regrets.
The situation you find yourself in could be because God has a plan for you, but you are looking in the wrong places or putting too much emphasis on what you can get out of it for yourself.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.

What is a woman and why did God create them when Adam already had all he would ever need?

The only word that comes to mind is Love.
The kind that truly binds two hearts together and guides them through this earthy life of trials and tribulations.
Helpers of each other, to hold eachother up when things go bad, or celebrate when things go good.

What kind of a relationship are you looking for?
Perhaps what your looking for isn't what God has planned for you.
Perhaps God has something better but your own standards are too low.

Funny how things happen when your not looking or you least expect them.
If and when the time is right, and your heart is right, and your priorities are in order, you will find what you seek, and you will have an answer to your questions, and a door will open and your knocking will be heard.

Luk 11:9
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
Luk 11:10
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Jas 4:1
From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
Jas 4:2
Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
Jas 4:3
Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

Is it lust you seek or a sincere life long relationship. One in which you would gladly lay your own life down for the other out of love and devotion. Or just a passing fling to add another notch to the belt of worldy competition?
God knows, and so do the women that are also looking for a true relationship and not be used as trophies.

I been single for 10 years now and content in the situation I am in. Spending every waking moment caring for my dad who is 89 and is unable to care for himself. I'm not looking for any relationships. My world is uncomplicated. It wasn't always so.
Be content where you are, there is always time for complications to come into your life, lol.

And if you hate yourself then how can you expect to love another or be loved by another?
People see what you show them. Take a deeper look at yourself and find love in yourself and then you will attract others who are looking for the love in you that you see in yourself.

Be kind, be gentle, be respectful of yourself and others. Be how you want others to see you.
And when you begin to project what you want others to see in you, then you may attract exactly what your looking for and what God has been wanting to give you all along.

I think God has been sparing you a lot of heartaches that you weren't prepared to have. Because your priorities haven't been in the right place.
Women weren't created to be playmates for men, they were created to help bear the burdens that life can bring.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

It goes a long ways.

Hugs
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sparrow77

lforrest

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Admin
Aug 10, 2012
6,064
7,466
113
Faith
Christian
Then we have this quote here... that last sentence... why would I want to be a Christian then? That's like offering to punch someone in the face to "fix" their toothache.
Luke 14:28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.

I wouldn't be doing you any favors if you choose to become a Christian but do not have the resolve to see it through to the end. The benefits of being a Christian are not in getting your way in this world.

Your toothache is a useful analogy. When you have a tooth abscess it causes intense pain, and the infection may spread to the brain or heart and cause death if left untreated. But the person who received the punch and pain to treat your sin problem was Jesus when he died on the cross.
 

Cerraco

Member
Oct 23, 2023
105
24
18
35
Greenfield
Faith
Atheist
Country
United States
You believe because you haven't had sex that you are inadaquite as a man, but in fact it makes you stronger by having God be your leaning post instead of another person.
Your appearance doesn't matter to God. He loves you exactly the way you are. The only thing he asks is for your love and faithfulness in return. He isn't looking for beauty queens or macho men. He's looking for you.

The situation you find yourself in could be because God has a plan for you, but you are looking in the wrong places or putting too much emphasis on what you can get out of it for yourself.
Ahhhh yes, the God's plan line. It's interesting that Christians use this line because not everyone thinks of the other side of that mode of thought... Let me explain what I mean. Middle school was the absolute worst worst worst worst worst woooorrrrrrssssstt time of my life. If I died and went to hell right now, it would just be middle school all over again, but forever, and every day would be Friday just to taunt me.

Everything I feared and hated was all crammed into middle school, and I would say "what did I do in a past life that was so bad that I was made to deal with that?" And my dad would say, "Maybe that's God's/the universe's way of teaching you to handle that kind of stuff." Uh huh, sure, right... So I was made to go through that to teach me something, but what was everyone else's purpose then? Did God create that those nasty kids I had to deal with just to teach me a lesson? What about the pretty and popular ones? What was their plan?

What about the people who had to deal with crippling depression for 90% of their life and couldn't take it anymore? We all know what I mean when I say that? What was "God's plan" there? If I don't want anyone to suffer, I don't create people that will suffer, which God would know the future because he's God. Like I said before, this deity is not good at his job.
I wouldn't be doing you any favors if you choose to become a Christian but do not have the resolve to see it through to the end. The benefits of being a Christian are not in getting your way in this world.
I don't need to get everything I want to be happy. I also don't believe that Adam and Eve trash. When it's used as just an analogy for something, that's one thing, but the science of the world does not allow that story to be true.
 

Ziggy

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2020
10,526
10,047
113
60
Maine, USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Ah middle school. I got pregnant in the 8th grade. Kids can be mean that's for sure. Not to mention the school system who don't want to let you back in because your a bad example to society. Even if it wasn't intentional.And others take advantage when you had too much to drink. When you shouldn't have been drinking in the first place, but who knew?

What don't kill you makes you stronger. And sometimes blessings can be disguised as curses.

But I will never play the victim card because I am an overcomer.
And not all the kids used to call me bad names and their parents, and the sideways glances and inuendos. Some kids were actually cool about it and threw me a baby shower.
I know who are God's and who are not.
Ye shall know them by their fruit.

There is always a lesson to be learned, and you find out what true friendship is and who the fake ones are.

Never made it to highschool. But I did get my GED and put myself through one year of community college, which was a waste of 10 years paying back a $10k school loan.
No I worked. First I started working for my dad as a customer service/secretary in his furniture transportation company. Then I met a man when I was 18 and he adopted my daughter and I worked for the printing industry as a machine operator for 16 years until that fizzled out. Then met another man and got married and went cross country trucking taking care of the financials and scheduling deliveries, helping load the truck with forklifts, tarping, bungying, chaining down loads for 10 years. Then that fizzled out and I moved into my dad's place some seven years ago. Now I'm his caregiver, housekeeper, nurse, you name it...

I learned a lot without going to highschool, specially people. And the mean ones come in all shapes and sizes.
But I will tell you one thing..
Crying gets you nowhere. Toughen up buttercup. Life is filled with lessons and they can be as manageable or unmanageable as you make them.
And I have never had to face any of them alone, because I have God on my side and he gets me through them all.
Stronger and better and ready for the next one.

You worry too much about what other people think or do.
Worry about you and let the world worry about the world.
It's gonna do what it does, but you don't have to be like it.
You can play the overcomer card instead of the victim card and come out on top of the game.

If my only worry was I may never have sex again in my life, my world would be a whole lot easier, lol.
You don't seem concerned about what happens to other people though.
If you find a girl, have sex, knock her up, you going to hang around and marry her even if she aint the prettiest girl on the block and help raise that child?
Or you going to tell her to abort it or leave her stranded crying about how stupid you was for making a mistake you can't take back?

Life has consequences. And you have to know what your plan is before you go out making someone else's life miserable because you just wanted to be like the other guys.

I still to this day do not know who my daughters father is, and I don't care. We made it through life without guilt.
All because he wanted to be like the other guys too.

And what some would call the worst time of my life I found to be a lifelong blessing. Because I never was able to have any other children.
It was this one or none. Regardless of the circumstances, God blessed me with my one and only child. And I wouldn't change that for the world.

Change your perspective and look for the blessings and let go of what you think are curses. They will remain whatever you believe them to be. And you will go through them alone if you don't take the time to realize that your not.

I wonder if the shoe was on the other foot and we had traded places, how you would of managed my middle school years.
Always wondering if the next guy you meet wants to take you to bed because they think your easy because you got pregnant.

Have you ever thought of the other side of the mode of that thought?

You are only a victim if you choose to be. Choose not to be instead, you may like yourself better.
Hugs
 

Cerraco

Member
Oct 23, 2023
105
24
18
35
Greenfield
Faith
Atheist
Country
United States
What don't kill you makes you stronger. And sometimes blessings can be disguised as curses.
Sure, sometimes. But for some people, it's just a curse and nothing more. What was God's plan for them? I've been asking these legit questions and no one has answered them. "Well Cerraco, God made you below the standard of attractive and deprived you of a specific type of pleasure that others use to gauge your worth as a person even though they shouldn't but do anyway because the world is petty!" Is that really "God's plan"? Or is that how things just played out because... they just happened like that?

I love when Christians use the God's plan line. What about people who are born rich and good-looking, get what they want and die rich? Mind you, these are people that didn't do anything wrong exactly, that's just the life they had. Was that part of God's plan? To make some people better off and happier, and some unfairly punished just because? I'm not speaking like this because I'm playing a victim card, I'd really like to know because a lot of Christians use that line.

What's God's plan with Ethiopia and Darfur? I thought God didn't want anyone to suffer. Guess his son got the raw end of that deal, eh?
You worry too much about what other people think or do.
Worry about you and let the world worry about the world.
It's gonna do what it does, but you don't have to be like it.
You can play the overcomer card instead of the victim card and come out on top of the game.
The United States is a very shallow place. My chances of finding someone are probably so painfully low that I'm better off just giving up. I have to lie and say I've had girlfriends before to get people off my back. I know that sounds like I'm worrying about what others think, but there are layers to this. People have this preprogrammed garbage about your worth as a person based on how many people you slept with. Haven't boned anyone? Then "ewwwww you're weird!!" If you haven't had a girlfriend, then all of a sudden it's "whAt aRe yoU gAy oR sOMEthiNg?!?!" The American school system, which is one of the worst things to ever grace the planet, does not help with this.

If I go outside and people throw rocks at me every day no matter where I go, does "not worry about what others think" magically stop others from throwing rocks? The answer is no. That's what life is sometimes.
 

Ziggy

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2020
10,526
10,047
113
60
Maine, USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
If people were throwing rocks at me, I would probably press charges. Just sayin...

People have this preprogrammed garbage about your worth as a person based on how many people you slept with.

They do? I don't know anyone who remotely is concerned with how many times I been married forget about "boned" .
What do you care what their "preprogramming" is? I don't think perhaps maybe it might be coming from your own projections of your own self-worth. Believeing because that's the way you see yourself, that must be the way others see you too.
And if there are people your around that base a persons worth on how many people they slept with, you definately keeping with the wrong company.
But hey, I'm a female. I really have no idea about how guys deal with life issues. I'm thinking about conversations of work, sports, trucks, you know guy stuff. But you make it sound like the only topic worth talking about is sex.

You say your in your 30's. I'll be 60 next year. And your generation and my generation are like two different worlds.
When I was growing up you went "steady" with someone. Maybe even got married after highschool. That's about the time divorce rates started increasing, the internet was just over the horizen and we didn't have call phones. You actually had to meet up and hang out.
We didn't have as many medical problems then as we do today and I'm not sure if it's not based on a lot of things they were doing with vaccines, GMO's, toxins in the water, the proffession of psychiatrists were beginning to bloom.
One earner homes were becoming a thing of the past. Kids had to become latch-key kids, less supervision, parents were tired, both working and the economy kept getting more expensive. And kids were left alone more and more.

Then came the internet and kids were drawn to it like a magnet. Everything broadcast over the internet was just sucked in like a sponge as , this is the society you live in, learn to deal with it. And the internet became the parent and the teacher and the social life.
And everything that you believe has been programmed into your brain since the day you were born.

Most of what's left of my generation didn't have that programming. So sometimes it's hard to relate what is happening today in your world versus what I grew up in mine.

Look, you are not what you look like. That body you are in is simply a container that holds the you in that body.
You may not be able to change the outward appearance, it is what it is, but you can change the perspective of the you in that body.
And somehow you have to break out of this new technological mind programming that tells you what to think or how to feel.

You keep asking "What is God's plan? "
The only plan you need to worry about is the one he has for you.
What God does in other countries with other people is not your concern. You can't change a thing.
Only thing you can change is you.

I have to lie and say I've had girlfriends before to get people off my back.
Cerraco, has anyone here in this forum gotten ON your back because they believe it's odd that you haven't had sex yet?
Anyone?

I don't think you'll find that here. Because most the people here are from my generation. We learned how not to judge others by their looks or their shortcomings, we know we are all imperfect and have no desire to rate somebodies worth on whether they ever had sex or not.
I don't know who's getting on your back, but I would suggest you avoid them if possible. What business is it of theirs anyways?

I don't mean to be so blunt but a woman is more than just her vagina and a man is more than just his penis.
I know that's what they are telling people today is the only important thing, but they are wrong. There is so much more to people and who they are not what they are.

The American school system, which is one of the worst things to ever grace the planet, does not help with this.
That's what I'm saying. You been programmed by the system to believe a certain way, and if you don't measure up to it's standards then your a failure. That's Not True. There is a whole different standard then the one they teach in schools. You measure your worth by principles and morals and good conduct, self confidence, self-worth, with honor and integrity. It's a higher bar than the self depreciating, self condemning standard they teach you in school about yourself and others. It's a whole different world.
Somewhere along the line society put all these burdens and worries on your shoulders which you don't own.
You don't have to carry all this bullcrap around with you.
You don't have to believe what other people tell you about you. You have to believe in yourself and to hell what they think.

They tell the kids today that the other kid is good or bad. You should hate them because we say so. They are controlling this whole generation by teaching them how they want them to act and to feel.
And I don't know how to fix it or to stop it other than saying the truth.
You are not what they said you are. You are not what you look like. You are not how smart you are. You are not how rich or poor you are.
You are not where you live or where you work or who you know.
Your not any of those things.

Your only responsibility is to be true to yourself. Inside the physical shell of a body is a spiritual beautiful human being.
The shell means nothing. It's the spirit that counts. How you treat others, and how you treat yourself.
You can't wait for other people to lift you up, you have to lift up yourself.
You have to look in the mirror and say to yourself. I love you. I know I'm not perfect on the outside but I can be better on the inside.
I can see the potential of the person I want to be and not the one I've been told I am.
I am not my body, my body is not me. It's just a vessel I reside in while I am on this earth.
Inside you is a seed that was planted the day you was born. But this world has been trying to kill it by telling you that your only worth is what we say it is. But that seed is so much more than what they're not teaching you.
That seed is supposed to bear fruit like a tree. And you are the tree. And the fruit which it bears has no room for negativity.
But the more they make you think negative thoughts about yourself and others, the more you come to believe that that is the only way to be. And the seed they sow is rotten to the core. Full of lies and deception.
You need to dig out that seed, those beliefs and change them with better things.

You are the tree and you decide what grows in it. Negative or positive.

Gal 5:22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23
Meekness, temperance:

These are yours for the asking. Change your perception of who they said you are and who you are truly meant to be.

This is God's plan for you.
Not about your body or even the physical world as a whole. It's about changing the inside for a better way.
When we fix the inside the outside will look so much better, because you'll know what truly matters and what doesn't.

Hugs
 

lforrest

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Admin
Aug 10, 2012
6,064
7,466
113
Faith
Christian
I don't need to get everything I want to be happy. I also don't believe that Adam and Eve trash. When it's used as just an analogy for something, that's one thing, but the science of the world does not allow that story to be true.
Happiness is a state of mind. Someone can be happy with little.

Your salvation doesn't rest in Adam, but in Jesus Christ. I because Genesis to be true because I first believed other parts of the bible that spoke to my heart.
 

Jericho

Well-Known Member
Aug 10, 2023
580
688
93
50
Texas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
My mind is in a panicked, lost and horrified state. I hate myself, and I'm so anxious that I'm constantly woozy. I am 35 and have not been with a woman, because I've been busy with life. I then joined the Sosuave forum, which is - for those who don't know - a super macho redpilled alpha male testosterone cold emotionless forum, but they have constant success with women. That place introduced to me how shallow and one-sided the love world is, which has proven that it may be too late for me.

I am the ultimate example of it's never too late. I didn't do anything with my life until I was around aged 40. It was the perfect storm of anxiety, no direction, and lack of confidence that made me fearful of doing anything. So, I just shut down and gave up for nearly two decades. I had no job, no girlfriend, no car, no prospects, no nothing. I slept most of my days away and spent the rest of the time on the internet. My feelings ran the gambit of hopelessness, sadness, anger, depression, loneliness, and despair. I felt trapped, like there was no way out. Things took a worse turn in 2012 when I had a panic attack that snowballed into a nervous breakdown. I think all my fears about my future just got too much for me to handle. That was probably my lowest point, and I knew something had to change. I decided to go back to school at 41. It was quite odd going back to school in my 40s. It was a big, scary leap for me, but I pushed through my fears and did it.

At the same time, I was talking to a girl I had met on the internet several years prior who lived in another country. It started out as a friendship but blossomed into something more. Somehow, she still liked me, even with all my shortcomings. Eventually, we did meet in person, and there was definitely chemistry, but I didn't know how that would work since we lived in two different countries, and I had no job, no car, and was still living with my parents. After graduating, I got a job, but it was short-lived and didn't pay enough to make a living anyway. I was getting discouraged and was worried that I had gone to school for nothing.

Back to the girl. Our relationship had come to a crossroads and couldn't go any further online. I decided to take the plunge and get married, even without a job. It was a huge risk and a little crazy, but I figured it was either then or never. We were planning to get married in 2020, but then the pandemic happened and we postponed things another year. I was married, but there was still the looming problem of not having a job. Then something amazing happened. I found a job online that was what I went to school for (graphic design). The amazing part was that it was exactly what I had prayed for, even down to the salary. I'm convinced it had to be God because I asked for some specific things, and they all were met.

Fast forward to today: I'm married, have a steady job, and my life is completely different than it was. I'm telling you my boring life's story to let you know that if I can make it, then anyone can. If you asked me how I did it, well, sometimes I wonder the same thing. I think it was a mix of things. Part of it was just taking action. I just had to push through my fears and put myself out there. That goes for girls, too. You just have to put yourself out there, even if it means being rejected. Seek, and you will find. Part of it was changing my mindset. I carried a lot of emotional baggage. You have to let go of all the fears, doubts, and past bad experiences. You have to believe you can make it. And part of it was, of course, my faith. Was it easy? No. Was it instant? No. But it was worth it.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Ziggy and marks

rockytopva

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Dec 31, 2010
5,566
2,749
113
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Please follow me here... If E = mc2 then we can divide and conclude that...

Mass (m) = Energy (E/c2) --- Making this eternal stuff in which there could have been trillions of big bangs of old

And there are three varieties...

Natural E/c2 - All mass is basically cooled plasma --- And bang! Back to plasma!
Mental E/c2 - Mentally, A mathematical formula, and a mind to study these things
Spiritual E/c2 - E (motivation, warmth, love) / c2 (faith, hope, charity, joy)

Mankind needs the E/c2 to live the good life

Natural E/c2 - Food
Mental E/c2 - Education
Spiritual E/c2 - Especially a spiritual hope

There are times we Christians fulfill the faith and the mission in which it becomes time to latch onto another hope and another mission.

For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. - Romans 1:17

There can be times of darkness until we latch a hold of something else but the scripture promises...

God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord. - 1 Corinthians 1:9
 

Cerraco

Member
Oct 23, 2023
105
24
18
35
Greenfield
Faith
Atheist
Country
United States
If people were throwing rocks at me, I would probably press charges. Just sayin...
Anyone would, but I hope you saw what my point was.
They do? I don't know anyone who remotely is concerned with how many times I been married forget about "boned" .

But hey, I'm a female. I really have no idea about how guys deal with life issues. I'm thinking about conversations of work, sports, trucks, you know guy stuff. But you make it sound like the only topic worth talking about is sex.
Yes, they do. You have absolutely no idea how it is for a guy. When a woman is a virgin, the woman is pure, and it's seen as a beautiful thing, at least compared to how it is for a guy. Now, for a guy, virginity screams awkwardness, something being wrong with you and lower status. There are many videos about this that explain this better than I can:

What does a woman need to be attractive? At least in a general view? Being good-looking and having a good personality. What does a guy need? To be good-looking, good personality, including the ability to be funny, has a good vehicle, has money, has a good job and has a good social status beforehand. That's the thing about all these double standards and whatnot, it's the fact that people follow them even without even knowing it.
Then came the internet and kids were drawn to it like a magnet. Everything broadcast over the internet was just sucked in like a sponge as , this is the society you live in, learn to deal with it. And the internet became the parent and the teacher and the social life.
And everything that you believe has been programmed into your brain since the day you were born.
I started school in the mid 90s, where the internet existed, but it was in those times when the internet was in its infancy - at least in terms of how it's used now. Some people had it, some people did it, but it didn't suck in the world all that bad like how it is now. Overall, American schools are the most backward things ever known: teachers are nasty, kids are hyperdemons. Having a good personality? No, not important. Being good-looking and popular? Yes, of course!! Nothing else matters except that!! That is how schools are. A twisted bully has a higher chance at being popular than a good kid who really deserves it. Nothing makes sense there. NOTHING.

Now, not only was middle school the worst thing I've ever gone through, I had to go there through the early 2000s, the edgiest years humanity has known. Sometimes I wonder how I even survived those times. Us 90s kids, although painfully flawed, is slightly more immune to the internet programming you're talking about. It's not just the internet that puts these dumb ideas in people.

I didn't have a chance with the "cool kids", and I think it's better that I didn't. Who wants to peak in high school? I was an honors student, and I hate drinking (alcohol is disgusting), don't care for partying (being an introvert does that) and don't like drugs. Also in high school, a girl I liked fell in love with my best friend. She was from Canada, and she actually flew over and visited him. No words can describe how messed up I was when I saw her face to face, knowing she was doing things with my best friend that I wished she did with me. It's a massive, massive miracle that I pushed past that and still remain friends with the guy even to this day.
You keep asking "What is God's plan? "
The only plan you need to worry about is the one he has for you.
What God does in other countries with other people is not your concern. You can't change a thing.
Only thing you can change is you.
Riiiiight... I don't think you quite understand what my point is when I talk about God's plan.
I don't mean to be so blunt but a woman is more than just her vagina and a man is more than just his penis.
I know that's what they are telling people today is the only important thing, but they are wrong. There is so much more to people and who they are not what they are.
As for that first sentence, no one knows that better than me. I don't have that addiction to sex that most guys have. I don't have the "I need vagina all the time!" mentality that most dudes have. Or at least it's not as often.
Happiness is a state of mind. Someone can be happy with little.
I agree, mostly. Although someone with crippling depression would be heavily annoyed by this line.

And Jericho, I appreciate the story.
 

lforrest

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Admin
Aug 10, 2012
6,064
7,466
113
Faith
Christian
I agree, mostly. Although someone with crippling depression would be heavily annoyed by this line.
Depression is something I believe God is willing and able to heal. There may also be physiological causes that medical science can help with.

It is liberating to know that God is in control.
 

rockytopva

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Dec 31, 2010
5,566
2,749
113
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Please follow me here... If E = mc2 then we can divide and conclude that...

Mass (m) = Energy (E/c2) --- Making this eternal stuff in which there could have been trillions of big bangs of old

And there are three varieties...

Natural E/c2 - All mass is basically cooled plasma --- And bang! Back to plasma!
Mental E/c2 - Mentally, A mathematical formula, and a mind to study these things
Spiritual E/c2 - E (motivation, warmth, love) / c2 (faith, hope, charity, joy)

Mankind needs the E/c2 to live the good life

Natural E/c2 - Food
Mental E/c2 - Education
Spiritual E/c2 - Especially a spiritual hope

There are times we Christians fulfill the faith and the mission in which it becomes time to latch onto another hope and another mission.

For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. - Romans 1:17

There can be times of darkness until we latch a hold of something else but the scripture promises...

God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord. - 1 Corinthians 1:9
Mankind needs the E/c2 to live the good life

Natural E/c2 - Food
Mental E/c2 - Education
Spiritual E/c2 - Especially a spiritual hope

Companionship - There is also, in the middle of all of that, a need of quality companionship. As our body consists of trillions of cells, mind of much data, and a spirit consisting of an original innocence... A difficult proposition.
 

Sparrow77

Active Member
Jun 18, 2024
71
124
33
I am orginally from Billings Montana
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I am sorry for all the trauma you went through in school. However you are in your 30s you arent in high school anymore, but it sounds like the people you are hanging out with are still high schoolers, and that is a big part of your issue.
Sleeping with a girl doesnt make you a beter person or a better man. Your obession with you this subject really is keeping you from growing.
To be frank in my opinion its a pretty shallow way of living and thinking, However, everyone is differnt if you see it as fullfilling and all you want in life, then I guess just keep on doing what your doing and striving for what your are striving for.
You arent going to see any tangible life changes unless you yourself decide to do somthing differnt.
You need to decide what kind of life you want to live, and who you want to serve. If you want too serve the God of Love and the Creator.
Or keep living the life you have been living until you die.

God says I will make you a new creation, you will be born again, I will make all things new.
Its up to you to decide, you can be born again, or you can keep living as you are until the grave.
 
Last edited: