WHO GETS THE HOUSE?

[pepper]

She's living in Berlin Pepper.
SHE doesn't even know what the law is.
She MUST go to a different atty because this one is too lax.

And, whatever the law is regarding the removal of a spouse from health insurance...
I'll have to say that no matter what this shows a flagrant disregard for a woman he lived with for 25 years..

I see. Noting her country would have been a great help to those caring to give advice.

I wish her the best.

 

[Lizbeth]

Did you realize that now a tremendous amount of people are mentally ill .
Society itself is
I mean how many genders do we have today . We do realize what insanity is right .
While its true most think its me who is mental
well it was heard some say Christ was beside himself as well .
This world is going insane in the membrane .
Were it not FOR CHRIST
i would probably have had to get on some prescription drugs myself just to be able to cope
with all the insanity i see today . But HE is with us and we are gonna be fine sister .

Amen....these problems are increasing....people are filling up with demons (I don't think necessarily their own personal fault in every case, but I believe because society as a whole is not under the blessing and protection of God any more and the devil is having more free reign), and if a believer's life is yoked in marriage to someone who is susceptible like that for whatever reasons, you can be sure those demons have a mission to come against the believing spouse. The struggles, suffering and losses that the believing spouse incurs in trying to stay the course in such situations are very real.

 

[MA2444]

I kind of doubt it....but who can know for sure?
Only him and only her.
I think, my opinion, that his depression has a lot to do with this.

His depression doesn't really have anything to do with it. So he's depressed? So what? Why is he depressed? The wife knows he is depressed. She lives with him.

Is the girl a bad girl? Doubtful because if she wasn't enough Wife for him then why did he stay for 25 years? That crimps his case, lol.

Maybe he got depressed because he's been thinking about a household re-arranging for quite awhile now?! He should be allowed to leave if his heart is not in it anymore, but on what grounds does he seek this breakup where she moves out?

From what I've heard, she didn't do anything wrong. Oh we have only heard her side so of course she has no fault (sic). She might be lying as all women do and we don't know for sure. The husbands lack of heart is readily apparent, but again, does she speak the truth?

 

[Taken]

I was going to post this under WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM but decided the input of the men here would be good too.

I have a friend that has been married over 25 years. Her husband decided he wants to quit the marriage - we don't know why...I don't think there's anyone else involved and neither does my friend.

They own a home in both names. They have no children.
Just today he took her off the medical insurance policy without even warning her.

He was having depression problems (which required care at a structure at times) so she left her office job and stayed home to keep the home and help him.

I'm sure it's more complicated than this...

but

Who do you think should leave the home?

My belief is that the person that wants to terminate the marriage is the person who should remove himself/herself from the home.
He's saying SHE has to leave.

Any thoughts? (maybe I'm just old-fashioned).

Lawfully…the Names on the Deed gets the House, even split, Less other documents prove a prior agreed clause.

Sometimes when “court” involved…one asks, other does not object… court rules in favor of asker.

Two cannot not agree. Court can order sale and split money.

One can agree to keep their half and BUY / Pay to other their half.

Multiple Options.

This case…Husband has already proved his underhandedness…canceling insurance, demanding she leave, House his…

If she sees a true break coming…
Advise her to herself be tight lipped (asking or telling her Intents)to him and make her own arrangements and do it….bank accounts, credit cards, loans, autos, insurances, income, mutual friends, assault that may have been brushed off in the past, report, etc. personal property (jewelry, gifts, heirlooms, photos, documents, receipts, etc.) tend, secure elsewhere.

Things can get ugly fast.

 

[Lizbeth]

Lawfully…the Names on the Deed gets the House, even split, Less other documents prove a prior agreed clause.

Sometimes when “court” involved…one asks, other does not object… court rules in favor of asker.

Two cannot not agree. Court can order sale and split money.

One can agree to keep their half and BUY / Pay to other their half.

Multiple Options.

This case…Husband has already proved his underhandedness…canceling insurance, demanding she leave, House his…

If she sees a true break coming…
Advise her to herself be tight lipped (asking or telling her Intents)to him and make her own arrangements and do it….bank accounts, credit cards, loans, autos, insurances, income, mutual friends, assault that may have been brushed off in the past, report, etc. personal property (jewelry, gifts, heirlooms, photos, documents, receipts, etc.) tend, secure elsewhere.

Things can get ugly fast.

A woman alone is vulnerable in ways that men aren't and needs a safe shelter more than a man does. This is why Jesus came down hard against the religious leaders who were duping and manipulating widows out of their houses. If push comes to shove, it sounds like this woman here would need to fight legally to retain the house if she is able to. Nowadays women tend to be treated legally as being the same as men across the board, which is not according to truth (no surprise there, since common sense is in short supply nowadays, and the negation of women is a tendency of fallen natural men).

 

[MA2444]

Lawfully…the Names on the Deed gets the House, even split, Less other documents prove a prior agreed clause.

Sometimes when “court” involved…one asks, other does not object… court rules in favor of asker.

Two cannot not agree. Court can order sale and split money.

One can agree to keep their half and BUY / Pay to other their half.

Multiple Options.

This case…Husband has already proved his underhandedness…canceling insurance, demanding she leave, House his…

If she sees a true break coming…
Advise her to herself be tight lipped (asking or telling her Intents)to him and make her own arrangements and do it….bank accounts, credit cards, loans, autos, insurances, income, mutual friends, assault that may have been brushed off in the past, report, etc. personal property (jewelry, gifts, heirlooms, photos, documents, receipts, etc.) tend, secure elsewhere.

Things can get ugly fast.

That post reminds me of how it was during my divorce. We was married for 26 years but at 23 years she said she wanted to fly. So I dodged her process servers for 3 years and cost her hundreds of dollars! Lol. Process servers only make so many attempts for the money, if the guy dodges all of them then they pay more nd so on.

But I hold honor and integrity so I had to be honest (with mysef) and she had been a good wife and mother. But we had never bought a house. We were looking at one point but back burnered it because I passed the Mechanical Contractor's test and so we could go into business, so it was the house or go in business and we went in business instead. Thank God for that!

Women come and women go so I knew I wasn't allowed to tie her up in the basement so I had to let her go. So I told her that she can take anything she wants from the house (furniture, brick a brack and all her things) and that she could even take everything if she wanted it..except for my clothes, tools and guns, but! She had to do it in ne trip to the house. I wont be having her stopping by in the future going shopping in the house if she likes something and wants to take it! One trip, bring your own help. She agreed to that.

When she did come, she had no trailer, she had no help and very little room for a move in her SUV, so all she took was all the most valuable possessions, the gold, the Jade statue collection and her things.
And the Lord's Karma hit her in the butt on her way out of Colorado and as soon as she crossed the state line into Kansas, someone hit her SUV in the rear and basically totalled it. Another Lol!

But I was being fair to her, that was my point. I had no guilt for anything substantial that might ruin a marriage. It wasn't my fault. I guess she just wanted to go through her hoe phase that most women get around to at some point in their lives? I met her when she was 17 and married her at 18 so she never got the chance until then. 25 years is a long time and says something the conditions in the marriage. I doubt the girl in this case did anything bad enough for him to want to divorce her. But then again, we have only heard her side. So...???

 

[Taken]

A woman alone is vulnerable in ways that men aren't and needs a safe shelter more than a man does. This is why Jesus came down hard against the religious leaders who were duping and manipulating widows out of their houses. If push comes to shove, it sounds like this woman here would need to fight legally to retain the house if she is able to. Nowadays women tend to be treated legally as being the same as men across the board, which is not according to truth (no surprise there, since common sense is in short supply nowadays, and the negation of women is a tendency of fallen natural men).

Many times the actual money paid is from the husband working…aside…both names on deed…it’s a split.

Widows, typically have full ownership…and yes…full responsibility for upkeep, repairs, and moneys owed… can be challenging.

 

[Ronald David Bruno]

I was going to post this under WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM but decided the input of the men here would be good too.

I have a friend that has been married over 25 years. Her husband decided he wants to quit the marriage - we don't know why...I don't think there's anyone else involved and neither does my friend.

They own a home in both names. They have no children.
Just today he took her off the medical insurance policy without even warning her.

He was having depression problems (which required care at a structure at times) so she left her office job and stayed home to keep the home and help him.

I'm sure it's more complicated than this...

but

Who do you think should leave the home?

My belief is that the person that wants to terminate the marriage is the person who should remove himself/herself from the home.
He's saying SHE has to leave.

Any thoughts? (maybe I'm just old-fashioned).

Depression is probably the culprit of such a decision. If counseling did not work, I wouldn't take drugs but would certainly
try natural remedies like St. John's Wort, B vitamins ( especially niacin) and Omega 3's. I heard long ago that vitamin deficiency causes many health problems, including mental health. So first thing is to address nutritional needs.
The other cause of depression is too much self focus. Get off yourself, go out out and help someone, work, be more active, don't remain in house doing nothing - get out in the sun, exercise.
Here's another product I came across:

https://www.immunocorp.com/bliss-bound/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA2JG9BhAuEiwAH_zf3urUB5ADmUx_PisBIFLWXeNBQPxwQvuphv1kmGySZOug3OQ5Qjr5NhoCc80QAvD_BwE

That product above may really change his attitude along with good nutrition and exercise.

Besides much prayer, at least try those things things for a couple months before you trash your ( their) marriage. And here is a strong reason to try these things, it is not only to save your marriage but to restore your general well being for life.
If he doesn't have a change of heart, then with no young children involved, it's less complicated.
Sell everything and divide 50/50
... unless there are cash savings that are equal to the value of the home, in which case whoever wants it can pay off their spouse for it.

 

[Taken]

@MA2444 -

My brother split with wife…Between them she agreed to take large lovely remodeled farm house, land, entire furnishing (many antiques), new vehicle, savings (substantial), dog, 2 kids, maintain health for kids (kids and dad have own relationship without mother / court dictating. She provide food, clothing for kids…( way below his loss revenue of House & contents). Worked out fine for a minute, when she sold house, moved in with her lover she was cheating with, petitioned court for $$. He maintained his end of deal with her…and kids…used threats of court for fireplace fuel. Paid LAST court plea after years, to settle everything $250.00. He hesitant…but gave in and quipped…No more counting on free fuel for fireplace!

 

[JLB]

Who do you think should leave the home?

The one who wants to quit the marriage.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

Actually, we're not in communication with him. But he removed her from the policy,,,so we have to assume that he could.

I don’t know how it is where y’all are. I’m in North Carolina. Here…I’d give the advice that just because he could remove her from the policy, doesn’t mean an attorney can’t help add her back on his policy.

Our son in law doesn’t carry our daughter on his insurance policy. They both agree to this because adding her would cost them a steep amount every month. But it became a problem when my daughter has health concerns and can’t afford to get the medical help she needs. It stresses us, because as a mom I want her to be able to address her health and have what she needs to do so. Along with eye care and dental. She can’t get Medicaid because they refer her back to her husband’s ability to carry her. Everything points her back to her husbands work provides spousal insurance. If my daughter wanted to, I do think she could tell her husband, “it’s time to add me.” I advise her in this direction but the both of them have decided his employers insurance is too high, and she is self employed. It makes for a stressful situation.

Point is…maybe he could remove her and his employer or policy doesn’t blink. But they don’t know and probably don’t care to get into the legal matters. But if he does leave, and this continues of her not able to have insurance. There is a good chance an attorney will legally send him back to whomever removed his wife from his policy, and the husband will be instructed to put her back on it.

 

[GodsGrace]

Lawfully…the Names on the Deed gets the House, even split, Less other documents prove a prior agreed clause.

Sometimes when “court” involved…one asks, other does not object… court rules in favor of asker.

Two cannot not agree. Court can order sale and split money.

One can agree to keep their half and BUY / Pay to other their half.

Multiple Options.

This case…Husband has already proved his underhandedness…canceling insurance, demanding she leave, House his…

If she sees a true break coming…
Advise her to herself be tight lipped (asking or telling her Intents)to him and make her own arrangements and do it….bank accounts, credit cards, loans, autos, insurances, income, mutual friends, assault that may have been brushed off in the past, report, etc. personal property (jewelry, gifts, heirlooms, photos, documents, receipts, etc.) tend, secure elsewhere.

Things can get ugly fast.

It's already broken Taken.
And she's in Germany so who knows what the law is.
Another atty appt on Monday....

 

[GodsGrace]

Depression is probably the culprit of such a decision. If counseling did not work, I wouldn't take drugs but would certainly
try natural remedies like St. John's Wort, B vitamins ( especially niacin) and Omega 3's. I heard long ago that vitamin deficiency causes many health problems, including mental health. So first thing is to address nutritional needs.
The other cause of depression is too much self focus. Get off yourself, go out out and help someone, work, be more active, don't remain in house doing nothing - get out in the sun, exercise.
Here's another product I came across:

https://www.immunocorp.com/bliss-bound/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA2JG9BhAuEiwAH_zf3urUB5ADmUx_PisBIFLWXeNBQPxwQvuphv1kmGySZOug3OQ5Qjr5NhoCc80QAvD_BwE

That product above may really change his attitude along with good nutrition and exercise.

Besides much prayer, at least try those things things for a couple months before you trash your ( their) marriage. And here is a strong reason to try these things, it is not only to save your marriage but to restore your general well being for life.
If he doesn't have a change of heart, then with no young children involved, it's less complicated.
Sell everything and divide 50/50
... unless there are cash savings that are equal to the value of the home, in which case whoever wants it can pay off their spouse for it.

He's a manic depressive Ronald. St. John's wort won't do the trick.
No children involved...thank God for that.
Thanks for the advice!

 

[GodsGrace]

The one who wants to quit the marriage.

My feelings exactly.
A woman works hard to create a home....
why should SHE leave her HOME because he wants to quit the marriage??

Maybe a home isn't worth anything anymore and is just a house.

 

[GodsGrace]

I don’t know how it is where y’all are. I’m in North Carolina. Here…I’d give the advice that just because he could remove her from the policy, doesn’t mean an attorney can’t help add her back on his policy.

Our son in law doesn’t carry our daughter on his insurance policy. They both agree to this because adding her would cost them a steep amount every month. But it became a problem when my daughter has health concerns and can’t afford to get the medical help she needs. It stresses us, because as a mom I want her to be able to address her health and have what she needs to do so. Along with eye care and dental. She can’t get Medicaid because they refer her back to her husband’s ability to carry her. Everything points her back to her husbands work provides spousal insurance. If my daughter wanted to, I do think she could tell her husband, “it’s time to add me.” I advise her in this direction but the both of them have decided his employers insurance is too high, and she is self employed. It makes for a stressful situation.

Point is…maybe he could remove her and his employer or policy doesn’t blink. But they don’t know and probably don’t care to get into the legal matters. But if he does leave, and this continues of her not able to have insurance. There is a good chance an attorney will legally send him back to whomever removed his wife from his policy, and the husband will be instructed to put her back on it.

Your daughter needs health insurance.
I've had 2 emergency operations...sometimes there's no time to plan.

As for my friend....it'll take speaking to an atty that can help her.
It's coming up on Monday.

Like I said, this just shows how little he cares for someone he's been married to for 25 years.

 

[Wrangler]

1st, I'm sorry for your friend's divorce. I do believe "no fault" divorce is a travesty and should be done away with. Breaking the most profound oath in the human experience should have consequences.

Regarding taking her off his insurance, are they divorced yet? I'd talk to a lawyer about that.

Who do you think should leave the home?

My belief is that the person that wants to terminate the marriage is the person who should remove himself/herself from the home.

The personal belief, of course, is subordinate to the law.

A woman works hard to create a home....
why should SHE leave her HOME because he wants to quit the marriage??

Again, the travesty of "no fault" divorce. Unless there is an agreement to the contrary, it's all about equally dividing up assets, and possibly alimony. A 61 yo coworker's wife suddenly wanted divorce. Not only did he have to get out of his house, he had to pay alimony for nearly 2 years.

If the home is in both of there names then it should be sold and each get half - surely that is the fairest way.

Agreed with the caveat that each has the right to buy the other one out first.

 

[Ronald David Bruno]

He's a manic depressive Ronald. St. John's wort won't do the trick.
No children involved...thank God for that.
Thanks for the advice!

So then I guess he's on lithium (the gold standard for bipolar disorder)?
My grandmother had it and she would fly off the handle, have nervous breakdowns and say off the wall mean stuff. But for years, ( about 60 yeas ago) no one knew what was wrong with her- thought she was just nuts. Then when she parked the car one day and just started smashing the garage door over and over again, I guess her husband had a brilliant idea, let's bring her to the doctor. After she started on lithium, she became normal and my mother said, "This is the mom I remember 15 years ago!"

 

[MA2444]

He's a manic depressive Ronald. St. John's wort won't do the trick.
No children involved...thank God for that.
Thanks for the advice!

They have some stuff called, Valerian (I got it at the Herb store) which has the nickname "Happy Powder" and so I bought some and it was true, I couldn't keep a smile off my face! It tastes nasty though and smells even worse! I took a heaping tea spoon and threw it in the back of my throat and washed it down with some juice and, blech! But it was worth it! I felt good!

 

[MA2444]

Who could be depressed and be in Christ? It's not possible I think. It's weird how they want everyone on anti-depressants. I go to the doctor for seizure medication and one time they gave me a prescription for anti-depressants, and didn't even say why! I filled both the prescriptions on my way home and then I looked up gabapentin and found out what it was, so I didn't take any, I threw them away!

Everytime I go to the doctor now, they always ask me if I have been depressed any...I said, no, what do I have to be depressed about? I don't have to get up and go to work tomorrow! I am disabled/retired now. And I laugh them off because even if I did get depressed, I wouldn't tell them. Why did they prescribe me anti-depessants without saying anything? Tht's underhanded and suggests something deeper.

Like an anti-gun thing? New law: Anyone who has ever been on anti depressants can not own a gun or some crap like that. Ha! Foresight, think.

 

[Wrangler]

Who could be depressed and be in Christ?

That's not fair. Christians remain people with soulful needs. There are plenty of Bible based counselors out there meeting the needs of Christians.

I'm not saying the husband does not have problems. This thread is about distribution of assets.