Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?
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Move WHERE? To the remotest village in Lapland?
Everything that I see from people in my around. And if anything, my "estimation" is more on the optimistic side, as I don't actually know anyone in real life who deviates from that 99% (aside from my family lol, some don't even have that).
It pretty much seems to me that almost everyone here are clones of the same person.
And for the most part, I know them pretty well by their behaviour, character and language. It's pretty correct to assume things about someone who goes to party all the time, smokes marijuana and brags about how much sex they had.
The problem is most won't, especially women with their delusional mentality of "repairing" people. And they end up absorbing most of what those "friends" pressure her to accept.
By wicked I mean, someone who doesn't accept the true God and leads others astray from Him.
Maybe not right today but, with time, most end exhausted with the pressure and begin giving up on some things (sometimes unconsciously) until it's already too late.
Because the society constantly demonizes shyness and introversion and makes them feel bad for not having dozens of (wicked) friends, so the same thing I explained above happens.
Maybe, but could be necessary in an increasingly cruel society like today's.
Not some, MOST. Especially if the job is stressful (like offices and hospitals). They sleep around as a way to cope with all the stress and exhaustion.
Maybe control is just too demonized in today's world so that adultery and debauchery may be promoted?
Yeah, probably not. But the same would apply without the rules.
Not even that. I don't bother meeting them, because all the ones I see in my around fail to meet not some but the VAST majority of my expectations. Beginning with religion.
Quite the opposite, the closer you get to God, the less attractive you become to society. And the more wicked and Godless, the more attractive.
If God had a wife that I would not normally accept planned for me, I would involuntarily pick her anyway as God's plan always fulfills regardless of whether we desire His way or not. But I think that in any case God allows each of us to pick the spouse we want for us (or if we want a spouse at all), and it is actually possible that the one we ed up picking always happens to be the one God has in mind for us.
Not necessarily. I mean, I do have flaws, but everyone does have flaws as well.
Your “religion” is akin to Isis-style Islam. A child bride you dont actually have to be friends with or court, but just given to you so you can lock her away in a haram. Supposedly with thoughts or devotion of her own, just kept in cage and excepted to obey her abuser’s every whim.
That is NOT of Christ or Christianity. You need to come to
Christ yourself first.
Please, please, you don’t need to be miserable like this. You don’t have to be alone. You life need not be controlled by your old scars. Embrace Christ and get the help you need.
Mugre Pinzon
Member
Maybe you're looking in all of the wrong places, or maybe you're imagining the values of others with little or no basis to do so.
If that's where you think you'll find what you want, then YES. Otherwise, do your research.
O.k. But you're only seeing what's around you now. Different parts of the country/world are well...different.
Yes, quite a few people do seem like they're very similar. But again...that's in your 'sphere' for now.
Yes, there are a number of (especially) younger people who do these things. But there are also those who don't. My oldest daughter wasn't into the 'party scene', or much into drugs and sex. Her interest was graduating from University and getting her degree. Now, she has a great job, making in the lower 6-digits. Most of her friends were the same way.
Women are not "hive-minded". We don't all think the same way, nor do we all give in to whatever 'pressure' others put on us.
Again, it depends on *your* definition of what the "true God" is.
Again, you don't get to say "most".
Again, not true. Most humans are social 'animals' by nature.
Having "no contact with the outside world" is neither necessary nor desirable by most. After all, *you* have contact with the outside world right now. So, why would you insist that your future wife can't?
No, not MOST. SOME. I worked in offices most of my life. I only knew of 2 affairs. And yes, several married men approached me to have an affair. I shut that down immediately.
Hardly. Trying to control another person's life is never a good thing. You get to control your own life...and that's all. Again, you wouldn't want someone to try and control *your* life, so don't try to control theirs.
Perhaps...[/QUOTE]
Yes he did. And as a matter of fact Aaron never addressed Pharaoh. It was always Moses. Which means that "the shy introvert" became a bold extrovert by the grace of God. All the apostles were also bold extroverts, so if someone cannot learn a lesson from that, there is little hope for change.
I guarantee that absolutely no one wants to bring you to hell with them. Most non believers think of hell as a joke or a big party of unrighteousness. Anyone that believes in a biblical hell definitely doesn't want to go there.
Maybe you think that you're "good" and everyone around you is evil. I have news for you. There is no one good but God and you are not God.
Believing that you are good because of what you do or what you don't do is making yourself your own judge or your own standard of righteousness. Looking at other people's sin and counting yourself better than them is self righteousness.
You can't change other people, that's God's job. You can only change how you treat other people. The world's standards or societal norms are definitely turning away from God's standards. People are becoming more accepting of sin and more condemning of faith. That was bound to happen according to scripture. Do you read and believe the Bible?
I don't have children of my own and in a way I'm glad that I don't. This is a difficult world to raise children in while trying to teach them how to live righteously, so I understand that your situation is difficult, but for 2000 years people who have tried to live righteous lives in Christ Jesus have met opposition, trials, temptations, and persecutions. The world is not righteous nor a friend of Christ.
Jesus promised to meet the needs of those who believe Him. If you believe Him and need a wife, He will provide a wife suited to your need, but need isn't the same as want. What we want isn't always what's best for us. Only God knows our future, so only God knows what's best for us.
It's difficult to meet people when you're shy, but God can make you bold. It's impossible to make friends when you judge everyone according to their sin and failings. Instead of looking for fault, look for good. Find things in people that you appreciate and set a good example by your behavior before them and they'll look up to you, but absolutely no one likes to be judged.
6 So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Genesis 4:6-7
The Lord only speaks truth.
7 When a man’s ways please the Lord,
He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
Proverbs 16:7
Jesus taught that we should seek the kingdom of God first and in doing that, God would provide for our needs. He spoke in terms of physical needs and a man doesn't have to have a wife to live, but we have this proverb:
Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.
And we have this promise from the psalms:
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
I'm pretty sure that if you place God first in all that you seek, and make your relationship right with Him, that He will satisfy your desire. All God's promises are "yes" in Christ Jesus, but first your relationship with God must be firmly established in Christ. I was a bit shy when young, a bit timid, but the Spirit of the Lord changed me, gave me a boldness to speak truth in the face of lies, a boldness to protect people unable to protect themselves, and a boldness to have honest conversation with the fairer sex.
Honesty with people goes a long way. People frequently pretend to be something that they aren't to either impress others, to fit in socially, or to protect themselves from being hurt. Showing people who you are is risky, but sometimes people respond to honesty with honesty and you might be surprised to find that you have more in common with others than you think. However, everyone needs to be "right" with God before they can be right with others. So make sure that your heart is right with Him first.
It seems to me that your flaw is that you have not travelled to a third world country and looked at the people there through the eyes of God.
You may get a real shock to see how they live. How they make do with what the Lord provides for them. How thankful they are for God's provisions.
You need a reality check because what I am reading in your posts is not of a person who is free, but a person who is bound by Satan who wants to control their environment so that they do not fail God in walk with Him. Your acting "God like," to control who you meet etc. means that you do not trust God at all. You seem to have the airs of a Goat, and in the parable in Matt. 25 the goats end up in the lake of fire.
Let God take your hand for your life's journey through this world of living experiences. Living dangerously means that you are out their in the world representing God and His values. To be one of God's disciples we have to take up our own cross to follow Him. It seems to me that you are afraid to do just that demonstrating your faith in and dependency on, God.
When you have made up your mind to truly believe to the point where you are prepared to lay down your life so that God is Glorified before all men, then come back and perhaps we may be able to discuss your understanding of how to get a wife who is acceptable to God.
Remember, King David committed adultery with Bathsheba who was a married woman, but God also found her to acceptable in that the linage of Christ come down through her.
In this politically correct Christian world, those who we think would be rejected by God are the very ones that He has used in the past to achieve the outcome that will bring Glory to Him.
Oh well, see you around like a raw prawn on a hot rock.
quietthinker
Well-Known Member
Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?
Not a wise choice!
We are called to be healthy in our minds, our emotions as well as our bodies.
High self esteem is the result of an intimate knowledge of one's great value in God's eyes.
Low self esteem is the sickly fruit of programming by the influences around us from childhood up.....a programming that suits the enemy and leaves us vulnerable to be duped.
Not a wise choice!
We are called to be healthy in our minds, our emotions as well as our bodies.
High self esteem is the result of an intimate knowledge of one's great value in God's eyes.
Low self esteem is the sickly fruit of programming by the influences around us from childhood up.....a programming that suits the enemy and leaves us vulnerable to be duped.
Perhaps but, only to a point.
I have the discernment to stay away from my old life, in every aspect and, God keeps it away from me. That life hardly passes my thoughts, there is zero pull anymore, praise God! No desire at all to go back to it either. As far as developing a deeper faith in Him, I have plenty alone time for that but, do try to get out a few times a week, even if it is the park just to see His beauty and pray, ponder, listen..
It also depends on where you go. Not sure where you are meeting all these bullies and such but, there are many places to go to that do not have bullies. Church functions, libraries, grocery stores...and so many other places you could go to avoid these "bullies". Do not put yourself in the position to be "surrounded" by them! Avoid them.
There are some awesome pantries and soup kitchens where you could volunteer a day or two a week, usually just for a few hours. It would be a very rare thing to find a bully there! And if there were, they would be tossed out.
Hope it all works out.
Ferris Bueller
Well-Known Member
"28While my soul was still searching but not finding, among a thousand I have found one upright man, but among all these I have not found one such woman." Ecclesiastes 7:28
Ferris Bueller
Well-Known Member
Sounds good, but truthfully, wives are to submit to the lousy, unloving husband too.
18Servants, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect,f not only to those who are good and gentle, but even to those who are unreasonable." 1 Peter 2:18
Wives have to love and respect the unloving husband, just as husbands have to love the unlovable wife.
If you had read enough through the Gospels you would have realized than even Jesus himself felt awkwardness at times and had introverted tendencies:
Mark 3:7-9
7 And Jesus with his disciples withdrew to the sea: and a great multitude from Galilee followed; and from Judaea, 8 and from Jerusalem, and from Idumaea, and beyond the Jordan, and about Tyre and Sidon, a great multitude, hearing what great things he did, came unto him.
9 And he spake to his disciples, that a little boat should wait on him because of the crowd, lest they should throng him:
Luke 5:14-16
14 And he charged him to tell no man: but go thy way, and show thyself to the priest, and offer for thy cleansing, according as Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.
15 But so much the more went abroad the report concerning him: and great multitudes came together to hear, and to be healed of their infirmities.
16 But he withdrew himself in the deserts, and prayed.
Please bear in mind that I'm not against extroverts for being extroverts. I'm sure there are great extroverts who are led by God and do not follow the ways of the world, and that one extrovert may turn out to be a lot better than many introverts. It's not that one is good and the other bad. Both can be good and bad.
And it's not true that shyness or introversion hinders the spread of the Gospel either. An introvert can evangelize as much as an extrovert, just in a different way. Extroverts are better at evangelizing through words, while introverts do a better job at evangelizing through actions, which can be as important if not more.
Not necessarily. Some are simply afraid of losing the security they are provided at home.
If a woman has been raised to be very attached to her family, there's a good chance that she may feel hesitant to explore the outer world.
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A woman shouldn't be fearful. That indicates unhealthy familial attachments. It's proven that when an infant has strong healthy attachments to their parents, they grow into less afraid and more stable adults. They have an emotional and (hopefully) spiritual footing and a foundation that has been built and have a healthy outlook on the world around them.
Somebody whom isolates themselves/others share the Gospel with no one.
No one here has actually said “being introverted is bad”. Many of us here are introverts ourselves (including me). Nothing wrong with that. What we have spoken against is isolation, controlling others, and egotism.
Oh, really? You talk about wives submitting and then quote a verse about servants and masters?
I'm going to pray for your wife.
Nobody has ever satisfactorily explained what wifely submission actually means. I know what many men think but is that the right version?Oh, really? You talk about wives submitting and then quote a verse about servants and masters?
I'm going to pray for your wife.
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