Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?

[Ferris Bueller]

Same with men...when they demand that she 'submit' to him...

A man can only 'demand' that a woman submit to him insofar as the Bible says she is to submit to him.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Not sure what you're referencing but he said we owe respect to who we owe it to. This does not mean we only owe it if they deserve it. Remember when Paul unknowingly called the High Priest (I think that's who it was) a white washed wall?

That same "likewise" is applied to husbands. What is your obsession with only pointing out what wives are to do in a marriage and not the husband's obligation? lol

1 Peter 3:6-8
[6]Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
[7]Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
[8]Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

Husbands as well as wives are commanded to be of one mind, having compassion, loving, pitiful, and courteous. In verse 6, the scripture emphasizes that the wife (if she does well and her marriage reflects that of Sarah and Abraham) will not be afraid with any amazement. That word amazement also means "alarm." She will have no reason to fear him and he will not alarm her in any way. He is to honor her and dwell with her according to knowledge.

You shouldn't be all one sided on this matter. That's an indication of a man who doesn't take the whole Word and that leads to a very unhealthy and imbalanced marriage relationship.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

“Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:27)

“But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none” (1 Corinthians 7:28-29)

I like marriage, and having kids, house and home and all that. I really do. But I have found in my old age that it is indeed as Paul says a distraction from the Lord. But we're certainly entitled to indulge it. I love it.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Physical abuse ends a marriage relationship and ends all discussion about marital respect. You don't owe marital respect in a relationship that in effect is no longer a marital relationship because of physical abuse (don't get me wrong, she's still married to him). The woman is to submit to a husband as is fitting in the Lord.

I'm glad you said this, because you were sounding like a man who condones beating his wife and that she should submit to his "harshness" and endure it ....

Where does scripture say that spousal abuse ends a marriage relationship, please?

 

[Ferris Bueller]

That same "likewise" is applied to husbands. What is your obsession with only pointing out what wives are to do in a marriage and not the husband's obligation? lol

Slow down. Read my posts. I've openly acknowledged the need for unconditional love in marriage. The problem in our society today is many women do not understand that applies to them too.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

I'm glad you said this, because you were sounding like a man who condones beating his wife and that she should submit to his "harshness" and endure it ....

Where does scripture say that spousal abuse ends a marriage relationship, please?

It doesn't end the legality of the marriage. It ends the relational aspect of marriage. An abused spouse should leave, but not divorce, for the simple reason of self defense. That's just common sense, just as it is for any other relationship. You get out of the way when someone hits you and you do everything you can to not let it happen again.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

I like marriage, and having kids, house and home and all that. I really do. But I have found in my old age that it is indeed as Paul says a distraction from the Lord.

Not necessarily. It certainly may be for some, but not for all. And celibacy can be pretty tough for many, too.

A godly marriage may in fact be a better way of serving the Lord than celibacy. Whether it's hard or not to achieve, is another topic.

 

[Michiah-Imla]

A godly marriage may in fact be a better way of serving the Lord than celibacy

“So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.” (1 Corinthians 7:38)

 

[TLHKAJ]

Physical abuse ends a marriage relationship and ends all discussion about marital respect. You don't owe marital respect in a relationship that in effect is no longer a marital relationship because of physical abuse (don't get me wrong, she's still married to him). The woman is to submit to a husband as is fitting in the Lord.

I'm glad you said this, because you were sounding like a man who condones beating his wife and that she should submit to his "harshness" and endure it ....

Where does scripture say that spousal abuse ends a marriage relationship, please?

So, as she is still married to an abuser, what do you suggest she should do?

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Not necessarily. It certainly may be for some, but not for all.

A godly marriage may in fact be a better way of serving the Lord than celibacy. Whether it's hard or not to achieve, is another topic.

While marriage in and of itself is in fact an expression of one's obedience to the Lord it still often comes down to the difference between your service to God and your service to your spouse.

 

[Lambano]

A man can only 'demand' that a woman submit to him insofar as the Bible says she is to submit to him.

Technically, any obligation my wife may have to submit to me is between her and God and falls into the category of, "If I want her to submit, what is that to you? YOU follow ME!". That is, I will be answerable to God for how I fulfill my obligations to her, and that should be my concern.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

So, as she is still married to an abuser, what do you suggest she should do?

Move out, but stay legally married.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Technically, any obligation my wife may have to submit to me is between her and God

'Technically', I agree. You can't demand anyone submit to you. But that doesn't mean you can't say anything about what God has said about who they are to submit to.

 

[Michiah-Imla]

Move out, but stay legally married.

Solid biblical advice.

“But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:11)

 

[Mink57]

Move out, but stay legally married.

...which sets up the abuser to further abuse...

 

[Ferris Bueller]

...which sets up the abuser to further abuse...

No! The exact opposite. The abused is out of the reach of the abuser and forces the abuser to either have a relationship without abuse, or leave and get another relationship. Either way the abused is protected and does not sin against the Lord.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

While marriage in and of itself is in fact an expression of one's obedience to the Lord it still often comes down to the difference between your service to God and your service to your spouse.

Except that celibacy CAN actually alienate one from God.

It's not really that either is better. For some, celibacy may be better. For others, it may be marriage. It depends on the individual.

1 Corinthians 7:2
But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they have not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

 

[Mink57]

"But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."

If my husband is being abusive to me, he's already an "unbeliever" and he has already "left" the marriage.

I would not feel 'bound' in such a case.

 

[Lambano]

I'm glad you said this, because you were sounding like a man who condones beating his wife and that she should submit to his "harshness" and endure it ....

Where does scripture say that spousal abuse ends a marriage relationship, please?

Similar to what Ferris wrote, I have taken the position that spousal abuse is effectively the same as an unbeliever abandoning his wife per 1 Corinthians 7:15:

But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

(Dang, Mink beat me to it by 2 minutes. I need to type faster!)

 

[Michiah-Imla]

But you seem to forget that celibacy CAN actually alienate one from God.

Not so. The Bible clearly teaches that celibacy is the way to go if you can control your desires.

“For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.” (Matthew 19:12)