The Pun thread

[Pearl]

Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened? It comes highly wreck-a-mended.

 

[Taken]

Anyone in need of an ark?
I Noah a guy.

 

[Taken]

Velcro...what a rip off!

 

[Taken]

There's a fine line between numerator and denominator .

 

[Taken]

I gave away all of my dead batteries...
Free of charge.

 

[Taken]

I was going to start a herb garden...
But I couldn't find the thyme.

 

[Taken]

He lost control of his Mercedes and hit a tree...
Learned it's true... Mercedes bends.

 

[Taken]

Silly Sally was taking her baby for a stroller ride. The stroller got away from her and was rolling down the hill. Silly Sally had no worries...She knew there was A stop sign there.

 

[SouthernStorm]

We were going to have Pasta for dinner but after the sunday service, we had him for lunch.

 

[Josho]

It was Bill's 1st birthday, he got a single bill for his birthday present.

 

[Josho]

Did you hear about the guy that won a trip over to Tokyo? Apparently he tripped over his toe, lost a key, and shouted O!!!! nooo!

 

[Taken]

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.

 

[Taken]

Q: What do you call an animal you keep in your car?

A: A Carpet

 

[Josho]

A girl called Webb went phishing, she caught a phish internet.

 

[Josho]

Some guy walked into a Vinyl store and asked if he could order 10 metres of Vinyl.

 

[Josho]

What if I painted 24 carrots gold?

 

[Sabertooth]

The Meta Pun
A man sent ten entries to a pun-writing contest sponsored by his local newspaper.
He hoped that, at least, one of them would win, but alas
no pun in ten did...

 

[Pearl]

A man sent ten entries to a pun-writing contest sponsored by his local newspaper.
He hoped that, at least, one of them would win, but alas
no pun in ten did...

:cool:

 

[Pearl]

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

 

[Sabertooth]

Do you know why most gynecologists don't complete their degrees in the States?

Spoiler: Why?

They prefer to study abroad...!