You sound like a broken... like a broken... like a broken... like a broken record... a broken record... a broken record... broken record... broken... broken... broken... broken...
What happens when death and Hades are thrown into the lake of fire?
]
The PARODY collection #1
- Thread starter St. SteVen
- Start date
-
Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.
You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!
What happens when death and Hades are thrown into the lake of fire?
]
Michiah-Imla
Well-Known Member
Oh my... would you be so foolish as to level that reference at me? (seems so)
1 Timothy 6:4 NIV
they are conceited and understand nothing. They have an unhealthy interest in controversies
and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions
]
Michiah-Imla
Well-Known Member
Mine was pointing out an action on your part (quoted YOUR words).
You quote God’s words (not mine) and respond with God’s words.
If our prayers were an audible conversation with God, I wonder what we might hear? (that would be a game-changer) - LOL
--- PARODY ---
Praying person: Dear heavenly Father...
Answering God: I'm right here, no need to holler.
Praying person: Oh, sorry. Can you make Sally stop treating me so badly?
Answering God: I'm allowing Sally to behave that way.
Praying person: But that's not fair, she is being cruel to me.
Answering God: I'll take care of Sally, but what about you?
Praying person: What about me? !!!
Answering God: Maybe you are the one who needs to change.
Praying person: Why me? I haven't done anything wrong!
Answering God: What about your avoidance and indifference toward Sally?
Praying person: Well... what was I supposed to do? !!!
Answering God: What if you loved Sally instead of being offended?
Praying person: What good would that do.
Answering God: We are about to find out.
]
--- PARODY ---
Praying person: Dear heavenly Father...
Answering God: I'm right here, no need to holler.
Praying person: Oh, sorry. Can you make Sally stop treating me so badly?
Answering God: I'm allowing Sally to behave that way.
Praying person: But that's not fair, she is being cruel to me.
Answering God: I'll take care of Sally, but what about you?
Praying person: What about me? !!!
Answering God: Maybe you are the one who needs to change.
Praying person: Why me? I haven't done anything wrong!
Answering God: What about your avoidance and indifference toward Sally?
Praying person: Well... what was I supposed to do? !!!
Answering God: What if you loved Sally instead of being offended?
Praying person: What good would that do.
Answering God: We are about to find out.
]
Wrangler
Well-Known Member
@St. SteVen, I'm concerned about you. I wonder what is the psychological need you have to write all these parodies. With the exchange above, you seem like a babe in Christ when you should be teaching the Good News to others by now.
I suppose some could have said the same thing to Jesus about his parables, proving that they had no idea what he was talking about. Maybe he had a screw loose?
"Jesus, I'm concerned about you. I wonder what is the psychological need you have to tell all these parables. With a recent exchange, you seem immature spiritually, when you should be teaching the Good News to others clearly by now."
/
Last edited:
My parodies are an art form. I'm a lyricist as well, which you probably already knew. I'm a words guy. Words guys like words. The more the merrier.
Are there any of my parodies that you don't understand?
The previous interaction you mention was with a heckler. Are you unconcerned about that?
If you think that heckler is uninformed about the gospel, feel free to inform them. - LOL
]
Last edited:
What is it about this exchange that you don't understand, or see as immature?
]
--- Parody ---
At the Rainbow Florist.
Christian customer: I need a dozen roses.
Rainbow Florist: Sorry, we don't serve your kind.
Christian customer: Say what?
Rainbow Florist: You're wearing a MAGA cap and a Jesus T-Shirt.
Christian customer: That's not a crime!
Rainbow Florist: It should be.
Christian customer: So, you are refusing me service because I am a Republican Christian?
Rainbow Florist: It's my store. I choose who we do business with.
Christian customer: That's discrimination.
Rainbow Florist: Welcome to my world.
Christian customer: When have you been discriminated against?
Rainbow Florist: When I tried to enter a church wearing a rainbow T-Shirt.
]
At the Rainbow Florist.
Christian customer: I need a dozen roses.
Rainbow Florist: Sorry, we don't serve your kind.
Christian customer: Say what?
Rainbow Florist: You're wearing a MAGA cap and a Jesus T-Shirt.
Christian customer: That's not a crime!
Rainbow Florist: It should be.
Christian customer: So, you are refusing me service because I am a Republican Christian?
Rainbow Florist: It's my store. I choose who we do business with.
Christian customer: That's discrimination.
Rainbow Florist: Welcome to my world.
Christian customer: When have you been discriminated against?
Rainbow Florist: When I tried to enter a church wearing a rainbow T-Shirt.
]
Behold
Well-Known Member
Everyone has eternal life, but not everyone has God's eternal life, who is Jesus.
People who died today, never born again.....= are in Hell, and that is the beginning of their eternal life, subsequent to the Death of their body.
So, when Jesus says......>>"All who believe in ME.. i give unto you Eternal LIFE, and you shall never go to Hell (Perish).."""
What He's explaining is John 14:6, where Jesus says that He is 'THE Truth" and "THE LIFE".
So, that is a specific LIFE, as its Life """"IN CHRIST"""", born again, as = "one with God".
This is Salvation, and this is HIS Eternal life, and God offers this to everyone as :
"The Gift of Eternal life" and all who are born again.... have it already.
A.) Jesus said.. "YOU must be born again">. = Have HIS Eternal life.
The born again know this as Truth, because JESUS who is eternal life, is IN THEM...
This is why John says "you can KNOW that you have Eternal Life""" as this is the eternal fruit of Trusting in Christ...= (Born again)... "In Christ" as "one with God'.
--- Parody ---
At the Rainbow Florist. Act 2
Christian customer: I need a dozen roses.
Rainbow Florist: Sorry, we don't serve your kind.
Christian customer: Say what?
Rainbow Florist: You're wearing a MAGA cap and a Jesus T-Shirt.
Christian customer: Does that offend you?
Rainbow Florist: Absolutely! It's my store. I choose who we do business with.
Christian customer: Fair enough.
Rainbow Florist: Say what?
Christian customer: I want you to know that I don't hate you, and neither does Jesus.
Rainbow Florist: Say what?
Christian customer: I'll change my cap and T-Shirt and pay double for the roses.
Rainbow Florist: Are you for real?
Christian customer: I'll be right back. I need white roses, thanks.
]
At the Rainbow Florist. Act 2
Christian customer: I need a dozen roses.
Rainbow Florist: Sorry, we don't serve your kind.
Christian customer: Say what?
Rainbow Florist: You're wearing a MAGA cap and a Jesus T-Shirt.
Christian customer: Does that offend you?
Rainbow Florist: Absolutely! It's my store. I choose who we do business with.
Christian customer: Fair enough.
Rainbow Florist: Say what?
Christian customer: I want you to know that I don't hate you, and neither does Jesus.
Rainbow Florist: Say what?
Christian customer: I'll change my cap and T-Shirt and pay double for the roses.
Rainbow Florist: Are you for real?
Christian customer: I'll be right back. I need white roses, thanks.
]
--- PARODY ---
Hiker: Hey snake, was that you in the Garden?
Snake: Sss...
Hiker: Did you temp Eve?
Snake: Ssss...
Hiker: And now you go on your belly and eat dust?
Snake: Sssshut...Upp...
]
Hiker: Hey snake, was that you in the Garden?
Snake: Sss...
Hiker: Did you temp Eve?
Snake: Ssss...
Hiker: And now you go on your belly and eat dust?
Snake: Sssshut...Upp...
]
--- PARODY ---
OSAS person: Are you saved?
NOSAS person: What do you mean?
OSAS person: Do you have salvation in Jesus Christ?
NOSAS person: No one does.
OSAS person: Seriously?
NOSAS person: Yes. You have to persevere to the end.
OSAS person: So, you have to wait and see?
NOSAS person: I suppose so.
OSAS person: What if you don't make it?
NOSAS person: I guess I'm toast.
OSAS person: That's tragic!
]
OSAS person: Are you saved?
NOSAS person: What do you mean?
OSAS person: Do you have salvation in Jesus Christ?
NOSAS person: No one does.
OSAS person: Seriously?
NOSAS person: Yes. You have to persevere to the end.
OSAS person: So, you have to wait and see?
NOSAS person: I suppose so.
OSAS person: What if you don't make it?
NOSAS person: I guess I'm toast.
OSAS person: That's tragic!
]
--- PARODY ---
Christian: God is love!
Prospect: What about the "hell" thing?
Christian: Oh, that's God's justice.
Prospect: How is that justice?
Christian: God has two sides.
Prospect: You mean he is two-faced, as in untrustworthy.
Christian: No, he is totally trustworthy.
Prospect: But aren't I currently in danger of hell?
Christian: Yes, but we can fix that?
Prospect: Fix it? Why is it even there if God is trustworthy?
Christian: Put your trust in Jesus and God will protect you.
Prospect: So, Jesus died to save me from God?
Christian: Well... I suppose he did...
Prospect: Are you nuts?
]
Christian: God is love!
Prospect: What about the "hell" thing?
Christian: Oh, that's God's justice.
Prospect: How is that justice?
Christian: God has two sides.
Prospect: You mean he is two-faced, as in untrustworthy.
Christian: No, he is totally trustworthy.
Prospect: But aren't I currently in danger of hell?
Christian: Yes, but we can fix that?
Prospect: Fix it? Why is it even there if God is trustworthy?
Christian: Put your trust in Jesus and God will protect you.
Prospect: So, Jesus died to save me from God?
Christian: Well... I suppose he did...
Prospect: Are you nuts?
]
--- PARODY ---
The "closed canon".
Believer #1: God told me that...
Believer #2: Whoa! Hold on there!
Believer #1: What's the matter?
Believer #2: The Bible is a closed canon.
Believer #1: Yes, of course. But God told me...
Believer #2: Stop! I told you that the Bible is a closed canon!
Believer #1: Does that mean God is done speaking?
Believer #2: Yes! That's exactly what it means.
Believer #1: Doesn't God speak to you?
Believer #2: Yes, he does. But only through the Bible.
Believer #1: So, where do my revelations from God come from?
Believer #2: The devil obviously!
Believer #1: You can't be serious.
Believer #2: I told you that the Bible is a closed canon!
]
The "closed canon".
Believer #1: God told me that...
Believer #2: Whoa! Hold on there!
Believer #1: What's the matter?
Believer #2: The Bible is a closed canon.
Believer #1: Yes, of course. But God told me...
Believer #2: Stop! I told you that the Bible is a closed canon!
Believer #1: Does that mean God is done speaking?
Believer #2: Yes! That's exactly what it means.
Believer #1: Doesn't God speak to you?
Believer #2: Yes, he does. But only through the Bible.
Believer #1: So, where do my revelations from God come from?
Believer #2: The devil obviously!
Believer #1: You can't be serious.
Believer #2: I told you that the Bible is a closed canon!
]
--- Parody ---
You: Excuse me God, I have an idol to put on the throne of my life.
God: Oof... Hey, you you don't have to push. I would have moved!
You: Just look at this Lord, isn't it great?
God: Are you serious? Don't you remember the last one?
You: Oh... but this is so much better!
God: It's your choice. Let me know how it goes. See you later.
You: Yeah, Whatever. (pfft)
]
You: Excuse me God, I have an idol to put on the throne of my life.
God: Oof... Hey, you you don't have to push. I would have moved!
You: Just look at this Lord, isn't it great?
God: Are you serious? Don't you remember the last one?
You: Oh... but this is so much better!
God: It's your choice. Let me know how it goes. See you later.
You: Yeah, Whatever. (pfft)
]
Last edited:
--- PARODY ---
God: Thou shalt not eat thereof...
Adam: Got it.
NEXT DAY
God: What was that roaring noise?
Adam: It's called a chain saw.
God: You didn't.
Adam: That thing was a nuisance.
God: I put it there for a reason.
Adam: I cut it down for a reason. I guess we're even.
God: (sigh) Back to the drawing board.
[ cc: @Stumpmaster
God: Thou shalt not eat thereof...
Adam: Got it.
NEXT DAY
God: What was that roaring noise?
Adam: It's called a chain saw.
God: You didn't.
Adam: That thing was a nuisance.
God: I put it there for a reason.
Adam: I cut it down for a reason. I guess we're even.
God: (sigh) Back to the drawing board.
[ cc: @Stumpmaster
Similar threads
