Here's what I think the problem is. Not with us, as we are trying to figure out the discrepancy. But between Peter and Paul in their communicating.
Paul seems to be more exact in his communicating when the day of the Lord actually starts. And also regarding the rapture/resurrection event timing.
Peter, on the other hand, communicates in a more general sense, leaning to emphasize more about Christian behavior.
So the solution for us is take what Paul wrote and what John wrote in Revelation.... combining that information... into some sort of timeline. Then applying what Peter wrote concerning the destruction of this current heaven and earth and insert it into the timeline, at its proper place.
When we do that, we come up with the day of the Lord being in several segments - the final segment being eternity of the new heaven, new earth, new Jerusalem. The first segment being when Antichrist goes into the temple, sits, claims to have achieved God-hood in 2Thessalonians2:4.
2 Peter 3:10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
11 ¶Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness,
12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness.
14 Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless.
The typical Premil interpretation also makes nonsense of some of the following.
11 what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness,
12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
The coming of the day of God is not meaning a thousand years and little season after Christ has returned. It is meaning in this age leading up to His return. He doesn't need to still come a thousand years later if He already came a thousand years earlier.
As to verse 11, one is to do that in this present age--- what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness---not during a future millennium instead.
Verse 11 and 12 could be understood as such.
You seeing while you are still alive in this present age that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness in the meantime,
Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God at the end of this present age, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
If you don't think it can be understood like that then how about you submitting how it should be understood? There is no way that the coming of the day of God is meaning after the millennium unless Amil is the correct view. But if Premil is the correct view this means the coming of the day of God can't be after the millennium but has to be prior to the millennium. And what does the text indicate happens during the coming day of God?
Verses 10-12 tell us exactly that and that those things are connected to the coming day of God. Once again, keeping in mind, the coming day of God happens in the end of this age, not a thousand years later instead. We can not divorce any of these things from the coming day of God since all these things in verses 10-12 happens during the coming day of God.
And what is the coming day of God? It is the day of the Lord and it is not reasonable to apply the DOTL to the GWTJ if the GWTJ is meaning a thousand years and a little season after Christ returns.
My solution then is this. The NHNE begin with the thousand years and are a process that is not completed until the GWTJ has come and gone . Or Amil is the correct position, Premil isn't. I don't see any other options since I don't see verses 10-12 to be meaning a thousand years after Christ has returned as an option.
Obviously, the coming of the day of God is also what is meant in 1 Thessalonians 5:2 where you take that to be involving great tribulation, but then take it to be involving something entirely different in 2 Peter 3. As if there are 2 different coming day of God rather than just one. Not to mention, 2 Thessalonians 2 also involves the coming of the day of God.
There can only be one coming day of God, meaning the day of the Lord. And once that day comes it doesn't need to come again at a later time. Granted, the DOTL is obviously involving an era of time rather than a single 24 hour day or less. But even so, I can't imagine it involving an entire millennium, then satan's little season, then the GTWJ. Even if we apply 2 Peter 3:8 to the DOTL that would mean it's only involving the millennium. What about satan's little season after the millennium? The text says--that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. And not this instead--that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years plus a little season plus the GWTJ, and a thousand years plus a little season plus the GWTJ as one day.