Should I Leave My Church?

[Wrangler]

Thank you everyone for your contribution.

 

[bluedragon]

Warren Farrell is a political activist (an immediate danger sign) No one but a liberal, titles himself in that manner.

He titles himself as a Political Scientist ...

"I began my research on gender studies ....."

First he went to MontClair University then to UCLA and finally New York

Did someone at the church bring him in or was this a speaker? Did they suggest meetings and camps with this person?

Someone should have informed the church about this speaker.

 

[strepho]

I'm not knocking churches down.
There's some good churches around.

If God's word isnt being taught. If it's traditions of men and false doctrine.

I would leave.

Hosea chapter 5.

God isn't happy with false shepherds. And any Christian who is complicit in thier games.

I would find another pastor.

I recommend shepherds chapel on YouTube. Pastor dennis murray tells the truth.

It's your decision.

 

[Rita]

What did you decide in the end @Wrangler

 

[Wrangler]

I recommend shepherds chapel on YouTube. Pastor dennis murray tells the truth.

I’ll look into it. Thanks!

 

[Wrangler]

What did you decide in the end @Wrangler

Leave. No choice.

Funny, after nearly a month and many hours of analysis, I came to the same conclusion my friend came to instantly. Yet, I did allow more exchanges. The extended punch (P), counterpunch (CP) exchanges are:

P. Disrespectful video. (See OP).
CP. Email informing Pastor I will no longer attend Father's Day Services - and why.
P. After 3w, Pastor deliver BS apology.

• You know the kind, "I apologize but YOU have to understand ..."
• It was the video's fault they did not portray men the way they value them.
• It was the fault of a comedian whose routine went viral a couple of times, i.e., bad influence.

CP. Emailed Pastor that he, the next gen pastor and me need to meet ASAP.

• I provided a written agenda, including looking in his eyes as he answers my questions that he failed to answer.
• I also told him he should familiarize himself with the book, Why Men Hate Going to Church, as I can now fully relate.

P. Email that he's not going to meet with me and look me in my eyes as if I am his father disciplining him. And he told me I have his blessing to go to another church. I take that as a ministerial f_ck you. (He also insolently included answers my questions)

• He belabored his strong held view of only relating to men as a joke. Wrote sentimentally about a private joke his deceased father told him. Clearly, entrenched in his conviction that there is no taking a joke too far.

There's a bit more but it does not make the Pastor look any better. Not really a CP, I replied one last time saying, "You don't have it in your heart to meet with me. That says it all. Father's aren't the only ones who can hold people accountable. Thanks for everything." Very sad.

 

[Rita]

It’s not easy leaving a church family , but sometimes it is something we have to do. I think if you lose respect for a person who is suppose to be guiding you ,or has an authorities role ( whether that be at church or in the workplace ect ) its really difficult to move forward.
All the best for what lay ahead x

 

[Wrangler]

I thought I’d tie this thread with this one.

Church Choose money over Truth

This is an article, I feel needed to be written for a long time, decades. It’s clear to me the church has made itself irrelevant in the public square. It’s shifted to be overly spiritualized, ignoring the body, the soulful aspect of our being. Consequently, America suffers from bad governance...

www.christianityboard.com

I think there is a correlation.

 

[ThePuffyBlob]

you should give it a try first and examine so that you wouldn't regret

Matthew 7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

christians should not judge too easily

 

[St. SteVen]

I thought I’d tie this thread with this one.

That was Jul 27, 2024
Now it is a month later. (Aug 27, 2024)

The topic poll gave 100% support to leaving. What was the outcome?

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[Wrangler]

See post #26 for outcome. I left.

 

[St. SteVen]

See post #26 for outcome. I left.

Okay, thanks.
Have you found a new church home yet?
If not, I understand. No judgement intended.
Many have left the institutional church, but as believers, are still part of the Body of Christ. (the church)

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[Wrangler]

Have you found a new church home yet?

No but I am going online at Discover church with Pastor Steve Chocolanti.

 

[St. SteVen]

No but I am going online at Discover church with Pastor Steve Chocolanti.

That's good.
Do you miss the physical aspect of Christian fellowship? (donuts and coffee) - LOL

[

 

[Wrangler]

That's good.
Do you miss the physical aspect of Christian fellowship? (donuts and coffee) - LOL

[

I think it’s more difficult to form personal relationships online. Still learning about how to interface.

 

[Wrangler]

@St. SteVen,

My wife still goes to that church. When she returned yesterday, she said the Pastor said to tell me hello.

I see this as more virtue signaling. He has my contact info. If he wants a relationship he can communicate with me directly. Thoughts?

 

[TheOneHeLoves]

No but I am going online at Discover church with Pastor Steve Chocolanti.

so you are in "Houston". I am in Missouri City. I am looking for a church as I used to go to Second Baptist until 4 years ago.

 

[TheOneHeLoves]

I think it’s more difficult to form personal relationships online. Still learning about how to interface.

well looks like there are lots of members and kinda hard to reach out to everyone.

I lead two Bible Studies and I have ~ 20 between the two and with work, studying, house and Bible studies, it is hard to reach out to everyone. But they all know i am here and if they need me to reach out and they do. I will reach out but it may not be as much as they would like???

 

[St. SteVen]

@St. SteVen,

My wife still goes to that church. When she returned yesterday, she said the Pastor said to tell me hello.

I see this as more virtue signaling. He has my contact info. If he wants a relationship he can communicate with me directly. Thoughts?

That's interesting.
I'm trying to recall the communication mode when you left. I seem to remember that he sent you an email "apology" that wasn't really an apology. (sorry, I didn't want to read the whole topic to find out)

Good to know that your wife is still welcome there. And the Pastor did reach out by speaking with her and sending a greeting to you.
Here are my thoughts.

- Email, or any online communication typically lacks emotion, or is easy to misinterpret.
- The Pastor's written communication skills may be lacking, compounding the problem.
- The Pastor was in a tough spot. Caught between an upset member and supporting his staff.
- If you spoke to him face-to-face things might go better.
- Inviting him to meet you for coffee would get him outside the church in a more relaxed social interaction.
- I might even play this in a whole different direction. Don't even bring up the incident initially.
- Tell him everything you like about the church and how you ended up there.
- If he doesn't bring up the incident, then you can bring it up later in the conversation.
- This strategy paves the way for a potential resolution.
- You do the right thing, and let others do what they will. Your conscience will reward you.

Bottom line: What do you need from the church (Pastor/leadership) to make returning possible?
Set the bar before talking to him. He may even ask you that question. Be prepared to answer.

Blessed are the peacemakers.

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[St. SteVen]

@Wrangler
It seems that I have gone 180 degrees opposite of the majority here.
A territory both you and I are familiar with. I'll cast my vote if the poll is still open.

[