Invisibilis's Art

[Invisibilis]

I believe Christian fellowship is to share our interests, activities, feelings, and experiences; particularly about Christianity. I wish to share with you my struggles with creating artworks in general, and what little amount I have been able to put together.

Firstly, I love creating art, because it is a gift given to me at birth. So it's natural. However, it has also been seriously stymied by the dominant parent, my abusive alcoholic father. My mother was silenced. However, being the only child, living as best I could, out of sight and in silence (invisible), art was my only form of sanity to get lost in, instead of facing the fearful reality I lived in. I drew most nights, and I kept some drawings for only a while, but I mostly got rid of the evidence. My father constantly told me that I will never be an artist; accusing me of wasting my time by doing so.

Now, even after leaving home some 50 years ago, I have a stubborn fear attached to my creativity. It's the fear of criticism, and wasting my time. As a result, I do about one painting every 6 months. It only takes me a week or so to do one, but then I stop. I also have a few unfinished paintings that seem almost impossible to continue with, even if I know it would turn out okay. . . Some childhood scares run deep.

Anyway, so far, the Crucifixion painting is my favourite. Most people don't get it, but that's okay with me, because I know what it means or me. It reminds me that I am not here for self, but for the One that sent me. This painting is based on John 19:28-30. Oil paint on plywood board; 90.6 x 56 cm. 2004.

 

[Invisibilis]

I always was fascinated by Saint Francis of Assisi. There are many sub-stories about his life, and there is one in particular that strikes a cord with one of my own experiences. It is about an encounter with the invisible.

My painting is an attempt to marry my encounter with the experience that Francis had. In doing so, I am projecting my experience into a metaphysical view point of Francis's encounter. The following stories will explains both encounters.

Long time ago I read about an incident that happened on one of Francis's travels. While walking alone along an open field, Francis saw a pair of poor women approaching him. When they met, the women begged for some food. Francis only had a piece of bread to give. He kept a small portion for himself. They thanked him and continued on their journey. In the meantime, Francis thought there was something strange about them and turned around to have another look at them, but they were nowhere to be seen. They simply vanished out of sight. It then occurred to Francis that he just met two angels.

Many years ago, my girlfriend of many years told me she wanted to leave me, and she added; 'I can see you are in shock about this, let's go for a picnic'. I thought, 'this is no time for a picnic, it's time for panic-stations!' But something told me to shut-up and go along with it, after all I trusted her explicitly.

When we arrived at the picnic spot, she told me to relax while she sets everything out. So I did. It occurred to me, while looking at her face, that I love her so much that it did not matter if I never saw her again. My love for her was unconditional. At that very instant, her face was replaced by a void containing a light being's face with a surprised look, as if to say, 'Oh, you can see me'. Suddenly I realized a Truth, that my whole life perspective was nothing but a fabrication of my own mind, and the Real us is spirit, or Inner Being. My reference point shifted from self to spirit.

I also instantly realized I had no right to expect anything from her or anybody else. She was free to do whatever she wanted to do. As a result, I told her my epiphany and she noticed a complete shift in my life perspective. Our conversations from that point on was about the truth, regardless of how fearful my ego may feel about it. We stayed together for another ten years before she relocated from Australia to Canada, which I supported. We laughed when we discovered that if she relocated any farther away she would be heading back. She eventually got married and we still remain close friends in Truth.

My original plan to do a painting of Francis was already sketched in pen before my epiphany. I decided to use this layout for what I am trying to present. At the moment, the unfinished painting has been on pause for about a year. I am trying to break through my impasse so I can start this painting again. I pray that I will be able to soon show further progression with this painting.

 

[Rita]

I am not creative in this way, but use to write letters ( just find my expression in writing ) I was told by an authority figure in church once that it’s the wrong way to communicate, so I saw it as a negative. Words spoken to us by others goes deep when they are in an authorities role…….. however I now know that the Lord is my authority, and he has imparted gifts and abilities within for purpose, even if it’s to express what I feel………your gift is also from the Lord, let his value in that gift inspire you to KNOW you are allowed, and can embrace it whenever you want and in what ever way you choose. I cannot paint or draw……….your gift is valuable xxxxxxxx

 

[Invisibilis]

I am not creative in this way, but use to write letters ( just find my expression in writing ) I was told by an authority figure in church once that it’s the wrong way to communicate, so I saw it as a negative. Words spoken to us by others goes deep when they are in an authorities role…….. however I now know that the Lord is my authority, and he has imparted gifts and abilities within for purpose, even if it’s to express what I feel………your gift is also from the Lord, let his value in that gift inspire you to KNOW you are allowed, and can embrace it whenever you want and in what ever way you choose. I cannot paint or draw……….your gift is valuable xxxxxxxx

Thank you Rita for your feedback and inspiration. I have made a copy of it for my studio. God bless you.