You have a tremendous great need to defend and protect yourself, brother. That needs to go to the cross and be healed. We all have areas of our heart, or maybe it's really what is at the roots of our life, as I think of it, that needs to open up to God and experience His love and salvation. I think most of us have let Him in "thus far and no further" in a way. Truly I bear you no ill will. Praying for you. With God all things are possible.
I too do not wish any ill-will towards you Epi. And
@Episkopos ....I actually agree with Lizbeth in main, concerning the area of the 'calling' of Paul. And I believe I'm not taking any sides here. It is what I read and believe. Let me go on my simple commentary of that area that may turn into a rant...
First, the English translation from the Greek into 'High calling' is in err. It is really the 'Upward calling.' And this is meant to mean for a believer that we have been resurrected out of death as Christ died and we can be resurrected as him. And now we need to demonstrate it and not just claim it as you said from scripture. We much show it in our lives. And Paul is describing his spiritual not human experience/knowledge with his mature or ever maturing walk in Christ in the process. He claims it all through living it!
I think this is what Paul is describing about this 'calling' 'the race' and the 'prize'...all symbols and metaphors he uses to truly gain and experience the mature life or walk in Christ and to 'win' or amaze Christ with his/our naked genuine faith of having God within us through the Son, the Father being the righteousness for Christ (I'm being a Unitarian here) and let him know that we know our righteousness is IN him, our Savior, and he then 'sees' clearly our own loss of life through our heart, mind and actions in life. We are now living the 'from death (loss of self and life with open heart) to the glorious resurrection life as in completing a marathon race. And I incidentally believe that is the type of race Paul intended here. And why you may ask....
It's like when we are first reborn, we begin the race, we become accustomed to the running track or path, the environment, the other racers, our physical condition as we run, where the winds are coming from, how moist or dry it is, and the condition of the track or path underfoot. Many believers do not want to go too far and they prematurely stop and rest, some too long, some rationalize that they are in this race for life and they think they will not show or place so why rush....they do not have the mind and heart set for God's race, they hide in scripture and claim all the legal benefits they now have as you have spoken of and it's true with a lot of new believers....some believers will want to stay at a 'comfortable' pace all their lives and with expectations of barely making the finish line. They are spiritually out of shape, fat, out of breath and not dedicated, not realizing their lives are not their own anymore, and they do not own it. They miss the reason why God accepted them in Christ... in the 'first' place.
Now for Paul and even me and it seems like you Epi and many other dedicated for God, we believers want to gain and use all the spiritual knowledge and the advise and gather it all like a sponge from God (you call it the full measure of grace' I do not at all as this can really confuse the intended use of the term grace) and really tear up the tracks and place with a prize.
Paul is speaking of this special calling for maturing believers who are becoming seasoned runners of marathons. This is their life now 'marathons/marathoners for life in Christ.' Keep the slogan...it can be catchy. When they or me or you, every time we 'hit the wall' at around the 16 mile mark with 7 miles to go, we know that focus, concentration of the things of God is everything. We lose our lives again, become small and insignificant, and all we see is the glory of God and the Spirit of Christ we embed within ourselves, to be raised in glory once we get past 'the wall' into the home stretch.
This dedication and willingness to lose everything in life, as death to the flesh, and things of the world and even more dearer things for Christ with the righteousness of the Father (Being a Unitarian again) is their/our walk until death. We have no choice. It is not a lower or higher walk. It is a more rigorous technical and mature walk that some growing believers sooner or later embark upon. They keep 'winning' Christ every time.
Although they can never perfect this kind of walk (race) ...yet.....
I hope you got the gist of all this..Epi and Lizbeth
It was done seriously impromptu
(Php 3:12)
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has
made me his own.
(Php 3:13) Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and
straining forward to what lies ahead,
(Php 3:14) I press on toward the goal for the prize of the
upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
(Php 3:15)
Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.
(Php 3:16) Only let us
hold true to what we have attained. (ESV)
Blessings to you both and all that love our life in Christ and for Christ as we bear fruit for him in our walk. And the Father is very pleased indeed (being a Unitarian once again)