How and why did your marriage work?

[Grailhunter]

Statistics show that about 70% of Americans are married.
The statistics on divorce gets a little fussy. How many of those that are married have been divorced before….second or third marriage. Every divorce counts as a failed marriage. According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s statistics there are 900,000 divorces a year! How does that add up to what to expect, how likely is it that a marriage will last? It is a hard statistic to come up with and a hard one to find.

Best I can tell about 25% marriages last to the “end” The second statistic I am not going to say I understand. About 40% of remarriages last. Maybe because they are older, maybe because they are more careful about picking a mate???

Now all this impacts children to. And I believe families should go to church….success by association? But is that enough? Should we teach our children how to pick a mate, should High School teach young adults how to pick a mate and what to expect from marriage?

So what do you say? Why did your marriage make it?

 

[Reggie Belafonte]

How to pick a mate ? like me with a mate buddy good friend.
Well with all the people I am good mates with still from school days, I think it's do not get involved with people who have lack of regards for others ! Do not have anything to do with such people period !

Some mates are not all Angels or they are some what stupid stupid even, but we get along, same with people I knew back in school days I do not see for years, still happy to see them and have a good talk with them. even some who I did not get along with that well, all is good !

Regards ones Wife, I just do not argue with a woman !
Not because of anything really but because I do not like to argue with women period !

But I seen a mate arguing with his wife, who I knew at school from when I was 9yo. I was shocked he was talking like that to her !
She said a penny for your thoughts to me. because I must of looked stunned ?
I was just so blowen away that I could say nothing !

They devorced. but I still see them from time to time.
I have not seen her for near 2 years now, but when last did, it was for some years and when she seen me, it was, Reggie ! with armes out wide and a great big hug ! just like a Sister !
He is a Gay now, but still the same dude I have known from 1985 on and still get on fine. he is not a fruit loop type of one that is stupid sick deranged filthy idiot.

So I think it's all about respect, and trust and Grace.

If you bite at oneanother that's just too much hard work ! I remember a bloke once said ?

 

[Grailhunter]

How to pick a mate ? like me with a mate buddy good friend.
Well with all the people I am good mates with still from school days, I think it's do not get involved with people who have lack of regards for others ! Do not have anything to do with such people period !

Some mates are not all Angels or they are some what stupid stupid even, but we get along, same with people I knew back in school days I do not see for years, still happy to see them and have a good talk with them. even some who I did not get along with that well, all is good !

Regards ones Wife, I just do not argue with a woman !
Not because of anything really but because I do not like to argue with women period !

But I seen a mate arguing with his wife, who I knew at school from when I was 9yo. I was shocked he was talking like that to her !
She said a penny for your thoughts to me. because I must of looked stunned ?
I was just so blowen away that I could say nothing !

They devorced. but I still see them from time to time.
I have not seen her for near 2 years now, but when last did, it was for some years and when she seen me, it was, Reggie ! with armes out wide and a great big hug ! just like a Sister !
He is a Gay now, but still the same dude I have known from 1985 on and still get on fine. he is not a fruit loop type of one that is stupid sick deranged filthy idiot.

So I think it's all about respect, and trust and Grace.

If you bite at oneanother that's just too much hard work ! I remember a bloke once said ?

Respect.....When you are talking to your wife, you have to always keep in mind that you are talking to the most important person in his life. A gentle touch and a soft tone.

 

[NotTheRock]

2nd marriage here. Happily married 9 years. Wife and I are both laid back and are comfortable being together or doing our own thing. We also accept each other's minor faults and idiosyncracies.

 

[PS95]

Statistics show that about 70% of Americans are married.
The statistics on divorce gets a little fussy. How many of those that are married have been divorced before….second or third marriage. Every divorce counts as a failed marriage. According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s statistics there are 900,000 divorces a year! How does that add up to what to expect, how likely is it that a marriage will last? It is a hard statistic to come up with and a hard one to find.

Best I can tell about 25% marriages last to the “end” The second statistic I am not going to say I understand. About 40% of remarriages last. Maybe because they are older, maybe because they are more careful about picking a mate???

Now all this impacts children to. And I believe families should go to church….success by association? But is that enough? Should we teach our children how to pick a mate, should High School teach young adults how to pick a mate and what to expect from marriage?

So what do you say? Why did your marriage make it?

I don't suppose that my story is very common. I was widowed at a very young age.
I prayed about a new mate one time in all sincerity. I let it go, as I was not actively seeking.
My prayer was answered one week after I asked. I had no plans to go anywhere that night, but a friend tortured me until I agreed.
We married in 6 months.
I found out later that my mate also didn't want to go out that evening, but was accompanying a persistent friend.
We've been together for 30 yrs now and are very happy.
My mate has every quality that I had prayed for, and much more than I even asked for.
My reason for posting this is..
I don't know if your average Christian thinks about it, but God truly does know the best person for us!!!
I know that's why my marriage is a happy one. It was made in heaven. That's a gift I believe that is open to all of God's children. He is our Father!
Why does it work? Marriage is a threefold cord- if Christ is at the center it will not fail. If we disobey the teachings of Christ, trouble brews in our relationships, so catch yourself and abide in Him.- treat others as you want to be treated--!
The reason marriages fall is apart is that one of them (or both) are not obeying that command. We can't do it alone! So if for a season, one of you is selfish- the other should pray for restoration for the other and visa versa- because God is faithful.
I think it's really that simple.- Put God at the center.

 

[Grailhunter]

I don't suppose that my story is very common. I was widowed at a very young age.
I prayed about a new mate one time in all sincerity. I let it go, as I was not actively seeking.
My prayer was answered one week after I asked. I had no plans to go anywhere that night, but a friend tortured me until I agreed.
We married in 6 months.
I found out later that my mate also didn't want to go out that evening, but was accompanying a persistent friend.
We've been together for 30 yrs now and are very happy.
My mate has every quality that I had prayed for, and much more than I even asked for.
My reason for posting this is..
I don't know if your average Christian thinks about it, but God truly does know the best person for us!!!
I know that's why my marriage is a happy one. It was made in heaven. That's a gift I believe that is open to all of God's children. He is our Father!
Why does it work? Marriage is a threefold cord- if Christ is at the center it will not fail. If we disobey the teachings of Christ, trouble brews in our relationships, so catch yourself and abide in Him.- treat others as you want to be treated--!
The reason marriages fall is apart is that one of them (or both) are not obeying that command. We can't do it alone! So if for a season, one of you is selfish- the other should pray for restoration for the other and visa versa- because God is faithful.
I think it's really that simple.- Put God at the center.

Good testimonial.

 

[LittleTuneAlright]

I am not married and never have been, although I have 2 children from a previous 10 year relationship that never worked out. He had an affair with a barmaid and I found out. I cannot accept a physical affair. I have been single and chaste ever since, until I find someone thats suitable and free.

Kudos to you all married folk who are working to keep happy and content. I see lots of men and women suffer all sorts of maladies... after they get married....after the honeymoon period... if that makes sense. And children can also be a source of stress, and so can illness and financial troubles. I just hope I meet someone who is able to lead us through these rough patches. The rough bits can bring out the worst but also show resilience and stronger Love... which, to me makes life seem wonderful and meaningful.

 

[Grailhunter]

I am not married and never have been, although I have 2 children from a previous 10 year relationship that never worked out. He had an affair with a barmaid and I found out. I cannot accept a physical affair. I have been single and chaste ever since, until I find someone thats suitable and free.

Kudos to you all married folk who are working to keep happy and content. I see lots of men and women suffer all sorts of maladies... after they get married....after the honeymoon period... if that makes sense. And children can also be a source of stress, and so can illness and financial troubles. I just hope I meet someone who is able to lead us through these rough patches. The rough bits can bring out the worst but also show resilience and stronger Love... which, to me makes life seem wonderful and meaningful.

I am sorry about your relationship and we are all going to make mistakes and even if we do not it always does not turn out. But do not give up on love….I pray that God sends you a man that will be your knight. Children need a father.

And for your information I have done some marriage counseling, not that wanted to. And I have not had a lot of luck with marriage.

 

[Reggie Belafonte]

Respect.....When you are talking to your wife, you have to always keep in mind that you are talking to the most important person in his life. A gentle touch and a soft tone.

I think one does not talk down to one who you Love. even if they do mess up.
Same deal with ones children even with brothers and sisters and Parents ! etc.

But when talking down about someting, an issue ? their is very good reason for such ! one deals with such, so others are to be lifted up ! and not to be only draged down for Malice reasons ? or ones own ego ! for that is death ? it's not good for the Soul ! as it only creats wrongs and Evil.

Someone said to me that they wanted their respect ? fact is that respect has to be earned in fact, it's a 2 way street in fact. not a one way street.
you can not demand respect ! unless you are a Socialist !
Socialist love to dominate over everyone with their idiot Laws and orders that comes from nothing but slobs ! they love their filthy Laws that they idolise You can not say this or that with no Grace at all within them. they are nit pickers ! 1 mile over the speed limit say and and they make such out to be a huge serious deal ! but for what it's worth, is just a childish display of outrigh ignorance of so many other factors, true i was 1 mile over the set limit but, but was it a real issue worthy in the time and place ? of a thinking man or that of a robot ?

Some men think that they can totaly dominate over their wife and kids ? but is that respect ? Hell No ! they exist only in feer !

 

[Lambano]

So what do you say? Why did your marriage make it?

To be honest, I'm not sure why The Sweet Lady and I have stayed married for 40+ years, while other's marriages that should have lasted, failed. (Like my brother's. What in the world was he thinking? How could he dump her like that? What was going on behind the scenes that I didn't have visibility to?)

I do remember that I was lonely, and I asked God to send me someone. (Before the holidays, please Lord.) The older, divorced woman with two children I met at our church's single's program the next week (I'm not used to my prayers getting answered so quickly) wasn't what I thought I was asking for, but I see God's hand in it.

Which probably has everything to do with why our marriage has persevered.

 

[Grailhunter]

To be honest, I'm not sure why The Sweet Lady and I have stayed married for 40+ years, while other's marriages that should have lasted, failed. (Like my brother's. What in the world was he thinking? How could he dump her like that? What was going on behind the scenes that I didn't have visibility to?)

I do remember that I was lonely, and I asked God to send me someone. (Before the holidays, please Lord.) The older, divorced woman with two children I met at our church's single's program the next week (I'm not used to my prayers getting answered so quickly) wasn't what I thought I was asking for, but I see God's hand in it.

Which probably has everything to do with why our marriage has persevered.

Reliance on each other I think is important. Being there for each other.

Know that God answered your prayer and she is the one for you is important.

Good for you....good for both of you.