Do Christians have to forgive everything no matter how bad the sins?

[Newman111107]

My 2 cents: Forgiveness is an action word more than it is a state of mind. To forgive someone of their transgressions especially ones against you, one must take all the anger, pain, and frustrations and give them to God. "Father, I give this to you because I am unable to deal with all of this". Forgetting is not necessary. It actually keeps you from getting stung again when you see the signs coming backup (addiction, porn etc.) This is called unconditional (agape) love. That's even what Jesus had for Judas. I saw something on the news one day where a teenager committed a crime and one of the neighbors was having a few words to his mother. His mother said, "yeah, he can be a jerk but he's MY son." Forgave her son, didn't like what he did nor did she forget. Pray constantly for your spouse's rehabilitation. YOU can't save someone from drowning without getting pulled under the water yourself.

I could forgive everyone that did wrong to me in a heartbeat. You know what was the hardest to forgive? Myself -- for the crimes I committed.
Took almost 3 years for me to do that. You may have read I have an issue with the older of two sisters I had. She has a stony heart. She is unforgiving and it APPEARS there is no end in sight. I leave it in God's hands.

My best to you and you are on my prayer list.

Dave

 

[lforrest]

My 2 cents: Forgiveness is an action word more than it is a state of mind. To forgive someone of their transgressions especially ones against you, one must take all the anger, pain, and frustrations and give them to God. "Father, I give this to you because I am unable to deal with all of this". Forgetting is not necessary. It actually keeps you from getting stung again when you see the signs coming backup (addiction, porn etc.) This is called unconditional (agape) love. That's even what Jesus had for Judas. I saw something on the news one day where a teenager committed a crime and one of the neighbors was having a few words to his mother. His mother said, "yeah, he can be a jerk but he's MY son." Forgave her son, didn't like what he did nor did she forget. Pray constantly for your spouse's rehabilitation. YOU can't save someone from drowning without getting pulled under the water yourself.

I could forgive everyone that did wrong to me in a heartbeat. You know what was the hardest to forgive? Myself -- for the crimes I committed.
Took almost 3 years for me to do that. You may have read I have an issue with the older of two sisters I had. She has a stony heart. She is unforgiving and it APPEARS there is no end in sight. I leave it in God's hands.

My best to you and you are on my prayer list.

Dave

True.

You may still feel resentment after someone betrays you. It is important to forgive even while you still feel that way. The way you feel in your heart will catch up with your actions eventually.

 

[ScaliaFan]

No, your not obligated to forgive everyone for everything they do. When your ex says; "“your are not a real Christian girl because you haven’t forgiven me and you don’t trust me”, its like the devil telling Christ; "If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down". Its a temptation or manipulation that nonbelievers often throw in the face of Christians. Trust is earned, its not automatic, and your ex-husband hasn't earned it. Forgiving others is a virtue, but your not expected to "throw your pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6). We are instructed to forgive others, even as our Father forgives us, but when does God forgive us? When we repent and ask for forgiveness. Forgiving others is not warranted when they don't regret the harm they've caused. In fact, forgiving someone who is not truly sorry makes us a willing victim.. Its a misnomer to think God expects us to forgive a person who has relentlessly abused us, God never painted targets on our backs or wrote 'victim' across our foreheads. Simply stated; "If your brother trespass against you, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him" (Luke 17:3).. jmo

i dont belive that is the case at all

Jesus said if you dont forgive you will not be forgiven

but as 2nd poster said, that does not mean we TRUST that person EVER again... (my words)

 

[teamventure]

Coti, you don't have to trust him to forgive him.

 

[Angelina]

Hi Coti, forgiveness is a big part of our growth and maturity in Christ. No it doesn't wipe out the hurt or years of abuse but it does change us from the inside. It changes our nature as we become more like our redeemer. Jesus forgave those who persecuted him when he went to the cross.. His very words were ~ Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” Luke 23:34.

This does not mean that we keep ourselves open to further abuse? Wisdom is vindicated by her children. When you feel strong enough then perhaps you could consider it....but you don't have to...you can choose who plays an influential part your life and those you wish keep at a distance ~ acquaintances. That choice is really yours...

Blessings and Peace!

 

[kerwin]

Hello
I have a question: Do Christians have to forgive everything no matter how bad the sins?

I know the Bible says he have to forgive, and I understand that’s the best thing to do, but I wonder if everything is forgivable or there are some sins that are non-forgivable?

I got divorced because he was physically and emotionally violent, also he had a very strong drug addiction at the time, he committed adultery several times and frequented pornographic chats with strangers. He even wanted me to have an abortion of the same child we are now in trial for. 7 years ago I regain strength in God and was able to leave that relationship.

Last night he sent me several emails which I have not replied yet. In one he said “you are not a real Christian girl because you haven’t forgiven me and you don’t trust me”. My ex does not believe in God, but knows I am faithful to HIM and he has tried to manipulate me with comments like that.

I moved on, I really don’t think about what he did in the past because I’m happy and in peace.
I think is possible to forgive (or ignore something in your heart/mind), but I think is not possible to trust after years of abusive behavior, and stand there as a door mat for someone to put me down anytime he wants when things don’t go his way.

My son lives with me and sees his father every other weekend. And now the father wants us to be friends for the sake of our son, which I think will never be possible. I don’t talk bad things to my son about his father or argue in front of him, so I don’t understand his goal.

So I keep thinking: is everything forgivable or there are some sins that become unforgivable?

Thank you.
Coti

What is your definition of forgive because the one your ex uses is flawed. Fox example God forgave King David for his sin of adultery and yet still the later was disciplined by the earlier for that crime and others.

According to your testimony your ex ruined the relationship he had with you and he as well as you will have to live with that.

Jesus teaches us the be as wise as a serpent and as peaceful as a dove and it would be foolish of you to seek any form of reconciliation unless you were absolutely confident he has changed his ways and was no longer a predator.
An example of why it is forgiving not to reconcile is that a Christian can hug a to her breast and end up being bitten then forgive the viper for what is natural but it foolish to hug it to her breast once again. "Once bitten twice shy" is a true saying.

In conclusion forgive but keep a wise distance and do not reconcile with a one that behaves like a beast.

Note: Jesus did hug Judas to his breast despite knowing his nature but that was for a noble purpose. There is nothing in what you wrote to reveal a noble purpose existing.

 

[Boll Weevil]

No, your not obligated to forgive everyone for everything they do. When your ex says; "“your are not a real Christian girl because you haven’t forgiven me and you don’t trust me”, its like the devil telling Christ; "If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down". Its a temptation or manipulation that nonbelievers often throw in the face of Christians. Trust is earned, its not automatic, and your ex-husband hasn't earned it. Forgiving others is a virtue, but your not expected to "throw your pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6). We are instructed to forgive others, even as our Father forgives us, but when does God forgive us? When we repent and ask for forgiveness. Forgiving others is not warranted when they don't regret the harm they've caused. In fact, forgiving someone who is not truly sorry makes us a willing victim.. Its a misnomer to think God expects us to forgive a person who has relentlessly abused us, God never painted targets on our backs or wrote 'victim' across our foreheads. Simply stated; "If your brother trespass against you, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him" (Luke 17:3).. jmo

We are only forgiven by God if we forgive the wrong committed against us. It is not up to us to judge what sin is forgivable and which is not. Who are we to determine this and by what means or measurement do we determine what we forgive.

Matthew 6:14-15
"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."

 

[epostle1]

Hello
I have a question: Do Christians have to forgive everything no matter how bad the sins?

I know the Bible says he have to forgive, and I understand that’s the best thing to do, but I wonder if everything is forgivable or there are some sins that are non-forgivable?

I got divorced because he was physically and emotionally violent, also he had a very strong drug addiction at the time, he committed adultery several times and frequented pornographic chats with strangers. He even wanted me to have an abortion of the same child we are now in trial for. 7 years ago I regain strength in God and was able to leave that relationship.

Last night he sent me several emails which I have not replied yet. In one he said “you are not a real Christian girl because you haven’t forgiven me and you don’t trust me”. My ex does not believe in God, but knows I am faithful to HIM and he has tried to manipulate me with comments like that.

I moved on, I really don’t think about what he did in the past because I’m happy and in peace.
I think is possible to forgive (or ignore something in your heart/mind), but I think is not possible to trust after years of abusive behavior, and stand there as a door mat for someone to put me down anytime he wants when things don’t go his way.

My son lives with me and sees his father every other weekend. And now the father wants us to be friends for the sake of our son, which I think will never be possible. I don’t talk bad things to my son about his father or argue in front of him, so I don’t understand his goal.

So I keep thinking: is everything forgivable or there are some sins that become unforgivable?

Thank you.
Coti

Forgiveness does not mean acceptance. You can be willing to forgive, let God take it from there. He doesn't expect you to carry that burden by yourself. Having a distant friendship us healthier for everybody unless you feel at risk and he is a certified manipulator.

 

[OzSpen]

We are only forgiven by God if we forgive the wrong committed against us. It is not up to us to judge what sin is forgivable and which is not. Who are we to determine this and by what means or measurement do we determine what we forgive.

Matthew 6:14-15
"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."

Boll,

How does that view harmonise with Col 3:13 (ESV), 'bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive'?

Oz

 

[brokentuningfork]

Ideally yes you should forgive but sometimes it is very hard and it can only be done by the power of God working on our hearts through prayer. Thank God that we always have prayer!!

Here is an example prayer for anyone that wants to know : "Lord I just can't seem to forgive (insert person you hate here =P) because of ( insert vile act) but you want us to forgive as you have forgiven us so |Father in the name and for the sake of your Son Jesus please grant me the grace and courage to forgive this person. Increase my faith!!!"

Now as mentioned here by many people, forgiving in your heart is one thing and I believe that is the most important step but if the guy is unrepentant about his sinful behaviour you by no means need to be returning to him until he repents. The scripture verse quoted above "if your brother sins rebuke him and if he repents forgive him" is very good one for this case

 

[Elle]

Hello
I have a question: Do Christians have to forgive everything no matter how bad the sins?

Matt 6:12: And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Matt 6:14-15: For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matt 18:23-35: Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my BROTHER (fellow believer) sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king (God), which would take account of his servants (sheep). And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his BROTHER their trespasses.


Mark 11:25-26: And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Luke 6:37: Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Luke 11:4: And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

Luke 17:3: Take heed to yourselves: If thy BROTHER trespass against thee, rebuke him; and IF he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

Matt 18:15-18: Moreover if thy BROTHER shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: IF he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But IF he will not hear THEE, THEN take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And IF he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but IF he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Matt 12:50: For whosoever shall do the WILL of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my BROTHER, and SISTER, and MOTHER.

Mark 3:35: For whosoever shall do the WILL of God, the same is my BROTHER, and my SISTER, and MOTHER.

With all that said, you have no obligation to forgive those who are NOT your brother (fellow believer). Your ex is not a fellow believer who does the will of God, so in God's eyes he is a heathen and a publican (non-believer and unrepentant sinner). Even if he was a brother, you would only have to forgive him upon repentance. As it says, you are to confront your fellow brother alone, if he doesn't hear you, you take the matter to 2 or 3 witnesses, if he doesn't hear them, then to the church. If he still refuses to repent and seek your forgiveness, he is to be cast out with the non-believers and unrepentant sinners. When does God forgive us, when we ASK Him. Same holds true for those who have sinned against us, they must ask us for forgiveness. How can a person forgive a fellow brother if they aren't aware that they have wronged you, unless you make it known. Otherwise, they will continue to walk in sin. You do not owe your ex forgiveness UNLESS he one day becomes your brother and seeks out your forgiveness. Cast him out with the heathens and the publicans. What you bind on earth is bound in heaven and what you loose on earth is loosed in heaven.

 

[epostle1]

It's better to let the grief process take it's course before attempting to forgive something serious. God knows we are not spiritual superheros, it's the willingness that matters. He will take of the rest.

 

[biotheist]

Hello
I have a question: Do Christians have to forgive everything no matter how bad the sins?

I know the Bible says he have to forgive, and I understand that’s the best thing to do, but I wonder if everything is forgivable or there are some sins that are non-forgivable?

I got divorced because he was physically and emotionally violent, also he had a very strong drug addiction at the time, he committed adultery several times and frequented pornographic chats with strangers. He even wanted me to have an abortion of the same child we are now in trial for. 7 years ago I regain strength in God and was able to leave that relationship.

Last night he sent me several emails which I have not replied yet. In one he said “you are not a real Christian girl because you haven’t forgiven me and you don’t trust me”. My ex does not believe in God, but knows I am faithful to HIM and he has tried to manipulate me with comments like that.

I moved on, I really don’t think about what he did in the past because I’m happy and in peace.
I think is possible to forgive (or ignore something in your heart/mind), but I think is not possible to trust after years of abusive behavior, and stand there as a door mat for someone to put me down anytime he wants when things don’t go his way.

My son lives with me and sees his father every other weekend. And now the father wants us to be friends for the sake of our son, which I think will never be possible. I don’t talk bad things to my son about his father or argue in front of him, so I don’t understand his goal.

So I keep thinking: is everything forgivable or there are some sins that become unforgivable?

Thank you.
Coti

No, look at what is happing around you. Look at the world of unforgiveness, it is normal today to judge and be judged. Our current media reflect this, our community and families reflect this, and our authority's reflect this.

It is driving us all away from a wonderful relationship, one that God created for us

Forgiveness means you let go of judging him for what he's done to you. Holding judgment on others is a heavy burden, since our judgments are imperfect we make decisions that can hurt the person we intend to heal.

You must seek out council, to help you discern your course of action.

 

[Phoneman777]

Limiting forgiveness to only those who do good to us is not Biblical, but is just as Luciferian as the occult teachings which form the basis of all secret societies whose members feel themselves "specially chosen by Lucifer for illumination" from among the "ignorant masses" which they feel "deserve to be excluded from being shown the "path of enlightenment".

It's the same false idea of "Modern Israel" being the Rastafarians, the British, Native Americans, or any other variation of this exclusivity nonsense.

If you're going to overcome evil with good, how in the world can anyone expect to accomplish this when evildoers readily discern a spirit of unforgiveness residing in hearts of "believers" who are attempting to win them over? Can you really win someone over to Christ while harboring a such a spirit? The answer is patently obvious.

 

[Boll Weevil]

Boll,

How does that view harmonise with Col 3:13 (ESV), 'bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive'?

Oz

I'm sorry, I don't see any contradiction. Maybe you can expand your thought a little more. We are to always forgive, just like God forgives us.

 

[Sword]

I'm sorry, I don't see any contradiction. Maybe you can expand your thought a little more. We are to always forgive, just like God forgives us.

Dates.

 

[bbyrd009]

Dates.

?

 

[Sword]

?

Old thread dug again.

 

[ScottA]

Hello
I have a question: Do Christians have to forgive everything no matter how bad the sins?

I know the Bible says he have to forgive, and I understand that’s the best thing to do, but I wonder if everything is forgivable or there are some sins that are non-forgivable?

I got divorced because he was physically and emotionally violent, also he had a very strong drug addiction at the time, he committed adultery several times and frequented pornographic chats with strangers. He even wanted me to have an abortion of the same child we are now in trial for. 7 years ago I regain strength in God and was able to leave that relationship.

Last night he sent me several emails which I have not replied yet. In one he said “you are not a real Christian girl because you haven’t forgiven me and you don’t trust me”. My ex does not believe in God, but knows I am faithful to HIM and he has tried to manipulate me with comments like that.

I moved on, I really don’t think about what he did in the past because I’m happy and in peace.
I think is possible to forgive (or ignore something in your heart/mind), but I think is not possible to trust after years of abusive behavior, and stand there as a door mat for someone to put me down anytime he wants when things don’t go his way.

My son lives with me and sees his father every other weekend. And now the father wants us to be friends for the sake of our son, which I think will never be possible. I don’t talk bad things to my son about his father or argue in front of him, so I don’t understand his goal.

So I keep thinking: is everything forgivable or there are some sins that become unforgivable?

Thank you.
Coti

This is an area of great misunderstanding. It would be best to handle such a relationship by applying the golden rule: Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.

In other words, under the circumstances, being civil is important, being kind, being respectful, being fair...all the things that you would hope he would extend to you. But trust is not called for, nor appropriate, nor is intimacy, even friendship. Your relationship has changed out of necessity and you now have new boundaries to respect. So does he. If anything more becomes possible, it will have to be welcomed...which of course would be difficult if not impossible under the circumstances.

Just be the person you will be able to look back upon and say you are proud of.

As for forgiving sin...this is a commandment that we are to extend to our fellow Christians, our brothers and sisters in Christ - not everybody. Christ overcame all things, and if we are His, we will live within the Christian community as members of the same body...as if we are all one person...because, in Christ we are One, and to hate or mistreat each other would be to hate or mistreat ourselves. If he becomes a Christian, he will begin to do nothing to hurt you, only to extend to you the love that you would expect from Christ himself. Until then, simply be civil, and leave forgiveness to God. And if he brings it up again, tell him that forgiveness is God's business not yours.

 

[DicipleofJesus]

Hello
I have a question: Do Christians have to forgive everything no matter how bad the sins?

I know the Bible says he have to forgive, and I understand that’s the best thing to do, but I wonder if everything is forgivable or there are some sins that are non-forgivable?

I got divorced because he was physically and emotionally violent, also he had a very strong drug addiction at the time, he committed adultery several times and frequented pornographic chats with strangers. He even wanted me to have an abortion of the same child we are now in trial for. 7 years ago I regain strength in God and was able to leave that relationship.

Last night he sent me several emails which I have not replied yet. In one he said “you are not a real Christian girl because you haven’t forgiven me and you don’t trust me”. My ex does not believe in God, but knows I am faithful to HIM and he has tried to manipulate me with comments like that.

I moved on, I really don’t think about what he did in the past because I’m happy and in peace.
I think is possible to forgive (or ignore something in your heart/mind), but I think is not possible to trust after years of abusive behavior, and stand there as a door mat for someone to put me down anytime he wants when things don’t go his way.

My son lives with me and sees his father every other weekend. And now the father wants us to be friends for the sake of our son, which I think will never be possible. I don’t talk bad things to my son about his father or argue in front of him, so I don’t understand his goal.

So I keep thinking: is everything forgivable or there are some sins that become unforgivable?

Thank you.
Coti

Hi Coti. You have been through horrific nightmares and back. So your question is a very valid one. First of all Jesus addressed people in his day and stated that the only reason that justifies a divorce is adultry. So you had a justifiable cause to divorce him then and there after the first time he committed adultry. He committed that several times. He also abused you emotionally and physically. He then said that you were not a good Christian because you did not forgive him. He didn't ask for forgiveness for the physical and emotional abuse he victimised you with and there was no rehab for his drug addiction mentionned by him. He had no problems. But you did becase you did not forgive him. That is a red flag! He was acting in a way that was due to him being narcissistically unhealthy. Narcissists with unhealthy narcissism are never the blame for what they do wrong. It is always somebody or something else. Nobody has the competancy from birth to live with that kind of a person. You are away from him stay away. But now for the forgiveness. An error made by many people, including Christians is that reconciliation is part of forgiving others. Often that is the case. But not in cases like yours where this guy is concerned. You can now forgive him ,not for him but for yourself. There is no peace and joy to be found in seeking revenge. That can lead to a deterioration of your health. But forgive him for yourself, pray he goes to rehab and attempt to forgive , because Jesus said to pray, forgive us our tresspasses as we for give those who tresspass against us, Forgiving people like him enables a lot of forgiveness from God. Been there done that. and I'm much happier. But God never equated reconciliation with forgiveness. Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. If we don't want to accept that we go to Hell. No reconciliation there. So try to forgive for you. But in the meantime you are a Mom. You cant reconcile while that child is a child. It is not fair to you or the child. So stay away from him as much as you can. But forgive him for you and your own wellbeing. You are not going to reconcile with him. That is out. I hope this helps