Caregiving

[Ziggy]

It's been almost a year since dad was admitted to the hospital with a UTI, and then another one and then a stroke in February.
He came home in April unable to walk or even sit himself up or roll over.
He recieves hospice at home which is a nurse and a cna that comes to the house 2-3 times a week to check his vitals, and help me bathe him and shave him.
They told me at rehab that I would not be able to bring him home because I coundn't lift him up. So I went a baught a hoyer to help me transfer him from the bed to the recliner. That's been working out well.
The other day I was talking to the nurse and she mentioned another toy. It's called a sit to stand lift:


I was able to rent it through the hospice company and we got it wednesday night. My first try was awful. I put the sling on upside down, I told him to lean forward instead of back. So we didn't get very far that night.
Today the cna came and helped me use it to move him from the bed to the recliner, and he seems to like it. After his nap this afternoon I tried it again, this time on my own, and it worked out well.

His appetite is good and his taste is finally coming back. We had a good thanksgiving with all the fixings and he ate it all.

Over the last 8 months there have been small improvements. He can play solitaire on the laptop again. He was having trouble with his hands operating the mouse. He had gone deaf in his good ear and I baught an Wax-Rx kit you see on tv and removed a lot of wax. Now he can hear again.

It's a long day, every day. But I'm glad he's home and I know he's eating well and being taken of to the best of my ability.
No bed sores, no bruises or rashes. No abcesses on his feet. Good appetite and sleeps well.

The hard part for me is the social aspect. Both of us are fairly quiet people. I like to live in my room and play on the computer and he likes to watch westerns on tv. We eat our meals together, but not very much conversation. I only leave the house once every two months now to go the bank and pick up tobacco.

Winter is here again, and I am praying that we get through this one without any problems. The last 3 winters in a row he got UTI's. But I'm keeping a close eye on his catheter which has become a permanent apparatus. Watching his diet and his mood.
This hospice program will come to the house 24/7 incase of an emergency and are able to give him antibiotics if there are any signs.

In February dad will be 90. Thank you Lord for another year with my dad. We both believed that he was going home last winter, but the Lord isn't done with us yet.


Hugs

 

[Rita]

Much love to you Ziggy, those stand aides are very good. I used them a few times at the care home.
My dad was always getting UTIs but he was on his own quite a lot as I was working full time. I could encourage him to drink , and when I was there he did, but then it use to decline.
My son has agrophobia and I know he struggles at times with the lack of social interaction, it’s been easier since we moved next to my daughter. We both like our own company, but interact as well.
Can you face time anyone - or ring anyone to have conversation ?
Do you not go out because of your dad or because there is no where to really go ?

 

[IronMaiden]

God bless you both, @Ziggy and @Rita.

 

[Ziggy]

Dad drinks a lot of juices. Cranberry-apple and orange mostly. He's taken up coffee again, just 2 cups a day with a little milk.
Now and then he likes a ginger ale or a moxie..ugh.
But I do have to keep on him to keep drinking. So when I crawl out of my room every 1-2 hours I say what you want in your cup dad?
I haven't finished it yet. so he drinks it up so I can give him something else or a refill.

I believe I have that agraphobia. I believe I developed it while riding cross country in a truck for 10 years. After awhile I didn't want to go to the rest areas alone or eat in the truckstops. But you had to go in for showers and do the laundry.
I always been a loner. I prefer minimal drama if possible. And the last few years has convinced me that agraphobia can be a blessing in disguise lol.

My daughter calls me every couple weeks and we spend about 3 hours arguing about politics mostly. We are on both ends of the discussion, and it can get heated at times. But we never hang up angry, we just agree to disagree until next time. :)

I really don't have anywhere I want to go. And I don't want to leave dad alone for any amount of time.
There is a volunteer service in the town and a woman comes out once a week and spends a couple hours with dad, mostly watching tv. But it's always nice to hear what the world outside is doing, other than the tv or the internet.
He looks forward to her visits.

His girlfriend stopped calling or coming by last May right after mother's day. She did everything she could to make my life miserable so I would leave or dad would kick me out. I'm glad I didn't take the bait. If I had dad would be in a different place right now, one way or another.
So we don't talk about her anymore. She still has 3 buildings of crafts she needs to decide if she wants to keep them or forfeit them.
For the moment I don't need the space in the garage or the cottage or the 2 bedrooms in the mobile home. But when I do, I'll hold a yard sale, and what she don't want I'll sell.
As far as I'm concerned she already forfeited them by not keeping in contact with dad, not calling me to see if I need anything.
I thought maybe yesterday being thanksgiving and all she may reach out but she didn't.
And my dad won't make the first call. It is what it is lol.

3am. Had to get up for a call of nature. Checked on dad. He's twisted up in the blankets, TV on full blast. I gave him a drink , untwisted the blankets, rolled him on his side, and said goodnight for the 2nd time. It's routine.
Once I'm up I have a hard time falling back to sleep. So I'll be surfing the web for another hour or so and then try to catch a couple more hours before the day begins.

If I was 10 years younger, or my body was in beter condition, this would be so easy.
He doesn't ask for much. And he is mostly good natured.
I get him up around 9am. Ge him an english muffin and a banana and try to sneak a yogurt in there once in awhile.
He sits up until lunch which ranges from soups or sandwiches or last nights leftovers, then he lays down for a nap for a couple hours.
I try to sneak one in too but that's when the pnone rings or a delivery shows up at the door.
I get him back up for dinner, I think tonight I'm going to have baked haddock and mac and cheese. I made homemade applesauce and cranberry sauce for thanksgiving. I put some of that on the plate as well.
I baught a storebaught pumpkin pie, neither of us were impressed, lol. But the lemon blueberry loaf is going over well.

It gets hard sometimes planning out meals. Specially when I'm not hungry and I still have to figure out what to cook.
I try to keep the menu changed up everyday so we don't eat the same thing very often.
Wellcare, dad's health insurance company has begun sending out winter produce boxes. They send oranges, apples, pears, and carrots, potatoes. Nothing goes to waste. lol

I don't know if he will ever have the strength back in his legs to use his walker again. But we keep trying new things to keep the muscles moving, changing recliners so he's not always sitting in the same position. This new sit to stand at least gets him somewhat upright.
First time in almost a year. So I know the legs are weak. And the arthritis in his knees and hands and shoulders make it hard for him to grab onto anything. The coputer mouse is a big improvement keeping the hands active even though I know it is uncomfortable for him. He will play for hours. I keep the ben-gay handy lol.


Much Love
Hugs

 

[Rita]

Thanks for sharing Ziggy xxxx
Does talking on the forum help ?
I am a bit of a loner as well, although I do go a bit stir crazy if I don’t go out after awhile, then it becomes a battle socially as you can feel lonely in a crowd. I use to love going to Costa really early as I could cope going in there on my own, it didn’t matter how busy it got as I then had my own space.
I have never been confident socially.
Dad use to have a partner, but towards the end of his life she became unwell and they couldn’t see much of each other.
Dan and I use to be opposites with views and we would have so many heated discussions, then we started to listen to one another and agreed to disagree, since he came to faith we have more in common, but have to say politically we are on the same page ( which helps )
I ended up getting dad prepared meals delivered , he was never inspired to cook much, and I have little inspiration myself. He use to complain about having the same stuff but when I tried changing it he would always crave what he use to have - we would end up going round in Circles !!! Lol
That Loaf sound lovely, never had pumpkin pie so I wouldn’t know a good one from a bad one !

 

[IronMaiden]

Dad drinks a lot of juices. Cranberry-apple and orange mostly. He's taken up coffee again, just 2 cups a day with a little milk.
Now and then he likes a ginger ale or a moxie..ugh.
But I do have to keep on him to keep drinking. So when I crawl out of my room every 1-2 hours I say what you want in your cup dad?
I haven't finished it yet. so he drinks it up so I can give him something else or a refill.

I believe I have that agraphobia. I believe I developed it while riding cross country in a truck for 10 years. After awhile I didn't want to go to the rest areas alone or eat in the truckstops. But you had to go in for showers and do the laundry.
I always been a loner. I prefer minimal drama if possible. And the last few years has convinced me that agraphobia can be a blessing in disguise lol.

My daughter calls me every couple weeks and we spend about 3 hours arguing about politics mostly. We are on both ends of the discussion, and it can get heated at times. But we never hang up angry, we just agree to disagree until next time. :)

I really don't have anywhere I want to go. And I don't want to leave dad alone for any amount of time.
There is a volunteer service in the town and a woman comes out once a week and spends a couple hours with dad, mostly watching tv. But it's always nice to hear what the world outside is doing, other than the tv or the internet.
He looks forward to her visits.

His girlfriend stopped calling or coming by last May right after mother's day. She did everything she could to make my life miserable so I would leave or dad would kick me out. I'm glad I didn't take the bait. If I had dad would be in a different place right now, one way or another.
So we don't talk about her anymore. She still has 3 buildings of crafts she needs to decide if she wants to keep them or forfeit them.
For the moment I don't need the space in the garage or the cottage or the 2 bedrooms in the mobile home. But when I do, I'll hold a yard sale, and what she don't want I'll sell.
As far as I'm concerned she already forfeited them by not keeping in contact with dad, not calling me to see if I need anything.
I thought maybe yesterday being thanksgiving and all she may reach out but she didn't.
And my dad won't make the first call. It is what it is lol.

3am. Had to get up for a call of nature. Checked on dad. He's twisted up in the blankets, TV on full blast. I gave him a drink , untwisted the blankets, rolled him on his side, and said goodnight for the 2nd time. It's routine.
Once I'm up I have a hard time falling back to sleep. So I'll be surfing the web for another hour or so and then try to catch a couple more hours before the day begins.

If I was 10 years younger, or my body was in beter condition, this would be so easy.
He doesn't ask for much. And he is mostly good natured.
I get him up around 9am. Ge him an english muffin and a banana and try to sneak a yogurt in there once in awhile.
He sits up until lunch which ranges from soups or sandwiches or last nights leftovers, then he lays down for a nap for a couple hours.
I try to sneak one in too but that's when the pnone rings or a delivery shows up at the door.
I get him back up for dinner, I think tonight I'm going to have baked haddock and mac and cheese. I made homemade applesauce and cranberry sauce for thanksgiving. I put some of that on the plate as well.
I baught a storebaught pumpkin pie, neither of us were impressed, lol. But the lemon blueberry loaf is going over well.

It gets hard sometimes planning out meals. Specially when I'm not hungry and I still have to figure out what to cook.
I try to keep the menu changed up everyday so we don't eat the same thing very often.
Wellcare, dad's health insurance company has begun sending out winter produce boxes. They send oranges, apples, pears, and carrots, potatoes. Nothing goes to waste. lol

I don't know if he will ever have the strength back in his legs to use his walker again. But we keep trying new things to keep the muscles moving, changing recliners so he's not always sitting in the same position. This new sit to stand at least gets him somewhat upright.
First time in almost a year. So I know the legs are weak. And the arthritis in his knees and hands and shoulders make it hard for him to grab onto anything. The coputer mouse is a big improvement keeping the hands active even though I know it is uncomfortable for him. He will play for hours. I keep the ben-gay handy lol.


Much Love
Hugs

Jesus just gave you a hug. Did you feel it? …and He’s saying to you and @Rita:

Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV) 28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

 

[Ziggy]

Thanks for sharing Ziggy xxxx
Does talking on the forum help ?
I am a bit of a loner as well, although I do go a bit stir crazy if I don’t go out after awhile, then it becomes a battle socially as you can feel lonely in a crowd. I use to love going to Costa really early as I could cope going in there on my own, it didn’t matter how busy it got as I then had my own space.
I have never been confident socially.
Dad use to have a partner, but towards the end of his life she became unwell and they couldn’t see much of each other.
Dan and I use to be opposites with views and we would have so many heated discussions, then we started to listen to one another and agreed to disagree, since he came to faith we have more in common, but have to say politically we are on the same page ( which helps )
I ended up getting dad prepared meals delivered , he was never inspired to cook much, and I have little inspiration myself. He use to complain about having the same stuff but when I tried changing it he would always crave what he use to have - we would end up going round in Circles !!! Lol
That Loaf sound lovely, never had pumpkin pie so I wouldn’t know a good one from a bad one !

Yes, I believe talking on the forum helps. I would have a hard time sitting in a circle with other people in a support group.
I haven't been on here much lately. Things are going well and I been paying attention to the politics. Crazy world we're living in lol.
Dad and I are both on the same side when it comes to politics. So that makes it's easier to discuss what's happening in the news.
We don't talk about religion very often but we both know where we're going when we leave this life. Neither of us fear "the end" .
It's just a transition from here to there. It's the missing that's the hard part.
I have 6 cats to keep us amused. He loves animals and they come and talk to him and they started sleeping at the foot of his bed. I told him after awhile they will own your bed so don't be too welcoming or they will steal your blankets lol.

I love cooking. And he likes eating. But sometimes m jus not hungry or tired so I keep a couple frozen dinners on hand for times like those.
I order my groceries online and have them delivered. I unpack the bags in front of him so he knows what we have to snack on or if he prefers a certain food for dinner. I ask him everday, what do you want for dinner tonight dad? He says whatever you cook is fine with me.
I use youtube a lot for dinner ideas.
How many ways can you cook chicken or hamburg. What ingredients do I need to order.
Our favorite is hash. I cut up and fry onions and potatoes and hamburg in the frying pan until the potatoes are soft and the hamburg is cooked through. Corn chowder, Chicken stew, goulash or american chop suey. meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

I asked dad if he wants turkey again for christmas and he said he would like a pork roast. So that's something.
He likes fish so I make salmon cakes, baked haddock, fish chowder.
I just hope the cost of goods start going down. Eating is getting expensive. So I cook in large batches and freeze the leftovers.
Haven't had take out food since last spring. I make my own pizza but he has trouble with bread products sometimes.
Constipation is an issue we deal with often. But the yogurt seems to be helping.

He likes chinese food so I have learned a few recipes for lo mein and chicken fingers. Duck sauce is a combination of apricot jam and vinegar for dipping.
He used to like omelettes but he lost his taste for eggs. We tried an egg on toast the other morning and he said it was just ok.
He used to eat that all the time.
Somewhere along the way he lost his ability to taste things, and slowly it's been coming back.
The more spicy or tart the better. Somehow it breaks through the non taste barrier.

I should go back to bed for a couple hours. It's saturday. We don't have anyone coming today. No nurse or cna until monday.
When dad first came home he sat up for an hour or two a day. Now he's up for 4 hours in the morning and 4 in the evening.
I know he gets bored sometimes but I don't know how to bring more activities into his life that he can do with his hands.
Most things are mindful. We talk about politics, science, cooking.
I don't know what men like to talk about. He's never been much of a talker.
And neither one of us are into sports.

His mind is still sharp and I'm very thankful for that. When he had his stroke and he couldn't make sentences it was difficult to understand what he wanted. But he had speach therapy and was able to overcome that. He still has a little trouble talking, but it's not an obstacle.


Thankyou I appreciate the converstion.

Hugs

 

[Ziggy]

Jesus just gave you a hug. Did you feel it? …and He’s saying to you and @Rita:

Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV) 28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

You know, when things get tough and I start to get frustrated because I'm tired or not knowing what to do,
it is that verse that always comes in my heart.
I talk to Jesus all the time. And he gives me peace even in the most chaotic times.
Thank you.

Hugs

 

[Rita]

I will respond more later Ziggy, hope you have a restful nights sleep. It’s 10:00 in the morning here xx