5 things God always does to a narcissist

[Ritajanice]

How awful for you At least you were believed. I did not even have the cognition to know it was wrong - I thought it was normal.

Sis, remember I was around 15 at the time, I just knew his touch was wrong, I didn’t know what perverted meant...how old did you say you were, when your uncle did what he did?

 

[Hepzibah]

Sis, remember I was around 15 at the time, I just knew his touch was wrong, I didn’t know what perverted meant...how old did you say you were, when your uncle did what he did?

8-10 years of age.

 

[Ritajanice]

I share that with you - 51 years ago - and I could not believe it when I had my first encounter with the living God which showed me that Christ had died for me

Amen!...wonderful , another testimony to the power of Gods Love!..

- imagine! that me who had been abused so much and who thought that I had little right to exist, not like others who showed up and poured out love - love which I had never known, on me.

Praise God....that you are safe in his Loving arms..protecting and watching over his precious daughter in Christ!

 

[Ritajanice]

8-10 years of age.

How could you have known at that age...you were innocent...what if my Grandfather had come to me at that age...i too would probably thought it was normal...you were only 8/9 I was nearly double your age..xx

 

[Hepzibah]

How could you have known at that age...you were innocent...what if my Grandfather had come to me at that age...i too would probably thought it was normal...you were only 8/9 I was nearly double your age..xx

It was not till my 40's that I was able to remember and put a name on it after reading about child sex abuse.

 

[Ritajanice]

It was not till my 40's that I was able to remember and put a name on it after reading about child sex abuse.

Spent most of our lives traumatised and confused, you suffered more than me, that’s for sure.

Then along came God and has been working in our damaged hearts, putting things right and healing our broken spirit...so glad that you shared Sis..I can relate to everything that you experienced...except for that horrific sexual abuse...from that b@#£&@#d...I just imagine what you as a 8/10 year old went through...having a fully grown man having sex with a beautiful innocent child.....Sis, it make me feel sick to my stomach...an horrific act, that can NEVER be taken lightly....disgraceful act of some men....perverted and depraved he was....thank God you are safe in his arms from the predator!!!

Did he get away with it or was he charged and sent to prison, because imo men like that need castration..or having their penis amputated...

 

[Hepzibah]

Well, it's not a competition...no amount of childhood abuse or type, is acceptable.

Believe it or not, a marriage guidance counsellor, responding to what I told her when my ex was complaining about my lack of interest in that department, and said that I should not report it as it would no doubt break his marriage up. He later developed Alzheimers.

Thanks for your empathy and validation xx

 

[Ritajanice]

Well, it's not a competition...no amount of childhood abuse or type, is acceptable.

Believe it or not, a marriage guidance counsellor, responding to what I told her when my ex was complaining about my lack of interest in that department, and said that I should not report it as it would no doubt break his marriage up. He later developed Alzheimers.

Thanks for your empathy and validation xx

When my grandad was told to leave by my dad...he went to stay with another daughter of his, she blamed me for having him thrown out, not even knowing what he had been trying to do to me....if only I could of understand what was happening then, I would have told her what he had been doing to me on his drunken nights, another thing I remember ,him coming into my bedroom at night, when we moved to another house with more rooms, I had my own room, I’m sure he fondled me under the bed clothes late at night when he came into my room, then I think no, it must have been in my imagination , I think I’ve shut it out to be honest...and my second ex, sexually interfered with my eldest Son, he went to prison for a short time...and can you believe I took him back, after my father told me that it was my fault, that he interfered with my Son, because I wasn’t giving him sex in the bedroom....that’s the reason my 2 eldest Sons were estranged from me...my eldest Son has forgiven me..I poured my heart out to him, trying to explain why I took my ex back, he didn’t want to listen, so I’ve had to accept that...my second ex was not their biological father.....

 

[Hepzibah]

@Ritajanice

Toxic family - like mine. I was the scapegoat of the narcissistic family system, with the whole family believing that I was the problem, and they never changed that tune. My brother was the golden child and will still put me down if he manages to have contact with me (I am low contact with him and the others).

Other narcs in the family alienated my four children from me, itwo to each marriage including one of their fathers, . It is so easy to do and I have lost them all apart from occasional emails from one. Two are deceased.

It is astounding how our stories are so similar. But then, there are lots of narcs around. I am so sorry that you had to go through it all, like me but we know how God can turn it around, and is doing so. I just long for my two children to be back with me. Prayers for you.

I can add spiritual abuse from ministers too.

 

[Ritajanice]

Toxic family - like mine. I was the scapegoat of the narcissistic family system, with the whole family believing that I was the problem, and they never changed that tune. My brother was the golden child and will still put me down if he manages to have contact with me (I am low contact with him and the others).

Same here, if I tried to talk, I was told to shut up, what do you know...my brothers and dad ate together , I ate my meals on the top of a twin tub washing machine.

My youngest brother was the gol den boy..my mother took his side every time, she manipulated it round to make it look as if I was the cause of the argument, I then ended up apologising to him as we believe everything our parents tell us don’t we?

I have been estranged from my brothers for many years, I believe I have forgiven them, I don’t have to have anything to do with them and their narcissistic behaviour....my eldest brother and I, live near to each other, our paths often cross, we completely blank each other on passing...I do the same with his wife....

The enemy certainly had a field day wrecking this family....I was also estranged from my mother when she died, by Brother let me know that she was in hospital when she was dying, I went to see her..that was it really, she recognised me on my first visit, the second time I visited she was unconscious, she died the next day..he phoned and let me know that she had died ,left a message on my answer machine..I never phoned him back...the boys were the two she asked to sort out her affairs, I was t involved in that...plus they never invited me to her funeral....everybody else, even my two eldest boys also cousins went...not me.....I thank God that I am away from them....and free from their hold that they used to have on me.

 

[Hepzibah]

Same here, if I tried to talk, I was told to shut up, what do you know...my brothers and dad ate together , I ate my meals on the top of a twin tub washing machine.

My youngest brother was the gol den boy..my mother took his side every time, she manipulated it round to make it look as if I was the cause of the argument, I then ended up apologising to him as we believe everything our parents tell us don’t we?

I have been estranged from my brothers for many years, I believe I have forgiven them, I don’t have to have anything to do with them and their narcissistic behaviour....my eldest brother and I, live near to each other, our paths often cross, we completely blank each other on passing...I do the same with his wife....

The enemy certainly had a field day wrecking this family....I was also estranged from my mother when she died, by Brother let me know that she was in hospital when she was dying, I went to see her..that was it really, she recognised me on my first visit, the second time I visited she was unconscious, she died the next day..he phoned and let me know that she had died ,left a message on my answer machine..I never phoned him back...the boys were the two she asked to sort out her affairs, I was t involved in that...plus they never invited me to her funeral....everybody else, even my two eldest boys also cousins went...not me.....I thank God that I am away from them....and free from their hold that they used to have on me.

Amen me too. Amazingly it was not until a year ago that the full reality of it hit me although I knew my family had never been supportive and only ever found fault with me. Now it is all coming in fast.

Have you had any trauma counselling Ritajanice?

 

[Ritajanice]

Other narcs in the family alienated my four children from me, itwo to each marriage including one of their fathers, . It is so easy to do and I have lost them all apart from occasional emails from one. Two are deceased

So sorry to hear this.

My parents had a huge hold over me when I had my 2 older boys, they used to spend a lot of time with them, as I was a divorced single parent , who was a complete mess because of my disturbed childhood bringing up 2 boys...I was weak and vulnerable, they had my oldest boy living with them, when I took my ex back after he sexually abused my Son...i can’t even remember how long he lived with them, my middle Son I had to ask to leave due to his behaviour, he went and stayed with a friends parents...what a mess of a life/ lives....when I became Born Again my youngest child was very young, he wasn’t brought up in the trauma that my two eldest boys suffered..my eldest one is more damaged than the middle one, he’s had countless woman, been living with goodness knows how many woman...had two children out of wedlock...has split with her about 6 years ago...he has now set up home with another woman and her Son...my Son is now having problems with his 13 year old daughter...he won’t discuss with me her problems..only that he said she needs counselling..when they face timed me a while back...my granddaughter looked dreadful, I could see she was suffering mentally....we can see it more in others Sis..because we’ve been through it ourselves.

 

[Ritajanice]

Amen me too. Amazingly it was not until a year ago that the full reality of it hit me although I knew my family had never been supportive and only ever found fault with me. Now it is all coming in fast.

Have you had any trauma counselling Ritajanice?

Same here, it only hit me as well a year back, even now it’s hitting me, the absolute devastation of two family units.

I have had years of counselling..never had trauma counselling...it took me quite a while to get the right councillor as well.....i can’t ever go through that again.....

 

[Hepzibah]

So sorry to hear this.

My parents had a huge hold over me when I had my 2 older boys, they used to spend a lot of time with them, as I was a divorced single parent , who was a complete mess because of my disturbed childhood bringing up 2 boys...I was weak and vulnerable, they had my oldest boy living with them, when I took my ex back after he sexually abused my Son...i can’t even remember how long he lived with them, my middle Son I had to ask to leave due to his behaviour, he went and stayed with a friends parents...what a mess of a life/ lives....when I became Born Again my youngest child was very young, he wasn’t brought up in the trauma that my two eldest boys suffered..my eldest one is more damaged than the middle one, he’s had countless woman, been living with goodness knows how many woman...had two children out of wedlock...has split with her about 6 years ago...he has now set up home with another woman and her Son...my Son is now having problems with his 13 year old daughter...he won’t discuss with me her problems..only that he said she needs counselling..when they face timed me a while back...my granddaughter looked dreadful, I could see she was suffering mentally....we can see it more in others Sis..because we’ve been through it ourselves.

Sounds like the nightmare my life has been and agree that we can spot it in others. It has given me much more sympathy and love for others which I can now spot a mile away. I used to be judgemental but I was that way towards myself as well and beat myself up all of my life.

 

[Hepzibah]

Same here, it only hit me as well a year back, even now it’s hitting me, the absolute devastation of two family units.

I have had years of counselling..never had trauma counselling...it took me quite a while to get the right councillor as well.....i can’t ever go through that again.....

Wow really!!?? Last February to be exact. That sounds too weird!

I too have had various counsellors but none of them touched on what was at the base of it all. I had one from the NHS this past year and she was supposed to be trauma informed but made me stressed. It is very hard to find trauma counselling from someone with cPTSD but I am still looking. A Christian one next in a few weeks.

 

[Ritajanice]

Sounds like the nightmare my life has been and agree that we can spot it in others. It has given me much more sympathy and love for others which I can now spot a mile away. I used to be judgemental but I was that way towards myself as well and beat myself up all of my life.

Same here...I would self harm, then drink to calm my nerves that people used to always remark on, and numb my emotional pain, plus I lived on tranquillisers back in the day....when I look back then see how far God has healed me, I can’t believe it....we just needed Gods love Sis...his Love is the only Love that can satisfy our soul....the depth of his Love is what we needed...and boy did we get in...there is no love on the planet like Gods Love....that was the love that we needed throughout our lives....yet his timing was perfect when we received him into our hearts....

 

[Ritajanice]

Wow really!!?? Last February to be exact. That sounds too weird!

I too have had various counsellors but none of them touched on what was at the base of it all. I had one from the NHS this past year and she was supposed to be trauma informed but made me stressed. It is very hard to find trauma counselling from someone with cPTSD but I am still looking. A Christian one next in a few weeks.

It would take a special councillor that has suffered the same as what you suffered surely...to help you through that trauma that you greatly suffered...terrible trauma...I just can’t imagine a child of that age...going through what you went through....it really upsets my spirit....

 

[Ritajanice]

There is no way @Hepzibah that you could have just any councillor...they must have gone through what you’ve been through, otherwise they couldn’t relate or help you.

Are there any practicing councillors out there...that have been sexually abused ...do you know that can help you...?...there must be some out they surely....considering the amount of sexual abuse that was rife in the 60s etc.

 

[Hepzibah]

There is no way @Hepzibah that you could have just any councillor...they must have gone through what you’ve been through, otherwise they couldn’t relate or help you.

Are there any practicing councillors out there...that have been sexually abused ...do you know that can help you...?...there must be some out they surely....considering the amount of sexual abuse that was rife in the 60s etc.

Actually they can help if they have cPTSD not necessarily sexual abuse. What I need mostly is just someone to talk to. as I have no-one but I have done all of the research and understand exactly how I have been damaged.

I have learned a few somatic exercises I learned that work. Trauma is stored in the body and needs this sort of work.

I always end up psycho educating whoever I talk to.