I've only just seen this, and I'm afraid I don't have the time at the moment to read through the thread, sadly. I'm up to my eyeballs in finishing a craft project for the kids club our church is having these holidays...I'm on a deadline!
But...very quickly...when it comes down to it, I'd say in these matters, we need to consider the end goal. What will bring most glory to God? Under that comes many things, I suppose: magnifying his name, his truth, his love. Standing for unity in his body, winning souls for him...that sort of thing.
I am reminded of Paul:
To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings. - 1 Corinthians 9:22–23
He clearly felt that it was important to meet each situation as it came, for the glory of God and to going forth of the gospel. And while sometimes love, and truth, can be "hard"....it's almost universally excepted that no-one responds well to derision and mockery. If we want to reach people and make the most of our God...then we should withhold the sort of negative emotions that will repulse people and turn them away.