When Is It Time To Die?

[Helen]

my first reaction to this is to be reminded of how the elderly are valued in other societies, and how much we marginalize the elderly in the Developed world (along with women, children, brown ppl, Muslims, Catholics, blacks, yellows, animals, our own gut bacteria, the planet, ... you get it i guess)

Not sure if the Eskimo's still do it up in the far north...but I know that when the old folk could no longer soften the leather by chewing in for them...to took them far away to an ice flow and left them. The old folk expected and accepted it. Dave is 80 now...he has said the same..." When I am no longer able to do anything...stick me on an ice flow!!"
I think the one bugbear of the elderly is the dark thought of the mind my go first. I had to watch that with my mum. My dad was sharp as a tack at 90.

 

[bbyrd009]

Not sure if the Eskimo's still do it up in the far north...but I know that when the old folk could no longer soften the leather by chewing in for them...to took them far away to an ice flow and left them. The old folk expected and accepted it. Dave is 80 now...he has said the same..." When I am no longer able to do anything...stick me on an ice flow!!"
I think the one bugbear of the elderly is the dark thought of the mind my go first. I had to watch that with my mum. My dad was sharp as a tack at 90.

not sure we could say that living away from the fat of the land is a sin, but it might be a curse. I dunno there. So, the two extremes of the bell curve at least huh

 

[Helen]

Oh my.... The many things I have to say are like the strawberries in my smoothie trying to climb up my straw!
(Pretty poetic, huh? But still pathetic!)

It doesn't matter what our physical state is. I don't think anyone would disagree. But what of our mental state? I don't think that matters either.

Our spiritual state however is not bound by what are body or brain is capable of.

At 49 years old (in July) my body is declining. As a life long athlete, I am actually pushing it more than ever, and its rebelling!

But at 49, my mind is more crystal clear than ever... And in the last month and even days I am figuring things out and am better!

25 years from now, I will know how you feel. My dad died last year at 74 years old. He too was an athlete and a genuine phwnonimal one at that. He never stopped trying to be better but realized his athlete days were done. But he never believed is mind was gone. I did, but he didn't .

So there is the earth man, the mental man, but what of the spiritual man?

Though your mind and body may go... Does if change yyour spiritual growth?

Well yea... You can't go to Church ad often and can't pay as close attention. But going to Church isn't all about learning. Big part, but not all about it.

Maybe just showing up to praise God is enough. Maybe just hearing his word even if you can't remember the sermon 3 hours later is enough. Maybe just being faithful in your feeble state is enough.

Be a witness. Even in your state. Being a witnes sometimes means just showing up. SSometimes ita just about putting forth the effort to acknowledge God.

Bottom lune: Let God tell you when you are done. Not when the Calendar says 76 years.

Loved your poetic opener. :)
Oh to be 49 again!
It is so annoying and I am sure the oldies here will agree...when we still feel 20yrs old on the inside, but the body will no longer keep up...we have to keep back-tracking to fetch it forward and keep up.
Out gardening ( when our snow has gone) I can look at something that needs doing and say...I'll just do that before lunch...but the "just do" has gone.
There is the frustration. Grrrr. Even putting on foot ware takes longer...

So...in one way I can relate to what this guy is saying in the link. He has watched his dad slowly change.

I guess my question is. Now that I am on meds... Yes I prayed for months to be healed and not need them, because I do believe that God is still in the healing business . But because of family pressure I finally took them.
So , in my mind, I have now taken myself out of God's hand in a way, and now keeping myself alive by using meds.

As I wrote that to you , I think I got my own answer while writing..
In spite of being on meds, God will still have the final word on which day will be the "day of my departure".
I have told all the family and my doctor that I want a D. N. R. order.
But the doctor says that even if I get it legally signed it's not worth the paper it is written on.....because close family can just over rule it at the last moment.
( therefore I have threatened my family that I will haunt them if I end up on feeding tubes or with my scull sawn open to "relieve the brain" after a stroke.
I want none of it)

This all probably sounds morbid to those in their 50's and under. But at my age it IS something that the family needs to know and talk about.

@Butterfly Good post..
I am mixed about the idea of withholding meds as being a form euthanasia.
Again, because of the reason I stated...we have already interfered with 'nature' by taking the life saving meds in the first place.

If a person choses first to take them, then the person can chose to not take them....they are only back where they would have been before they first took them.
Did you know that refusing food and water is the only "legal" suicide.
Even animals do it when the feel the end is near.
While my mother was in a Care Home...I saw many old folk do just that.
They have already lost the function of their mind...but somehow they got to the place where they would pinch their lips together and refuse anything and everything. It took one old lady five days. Even at the end she still used one foot to push her wheelchair!! ( she died in the wheelchair one afternoon, we thought she was asleep) Wow...somehow deep down she knew it was time to go. She had nothing , not even her own mind anymore.

So I get what this man in the link saying. We do become a burden to others.

Okay, bottom line. I don't think that I could do it= refuse all meds I mean.
Especially if I needed pain meds...I am a wimp where pain is concerned.

I really don't think any of us can 100% say right now, what we would or wouldn't do. Especially if we believe in " Living by every proceeding word of the Lord." I would have to listen, and hear what He said, at that time.
There is our peace. :)

 

[aspen]

Enjoy the moment

 

[Helen]

Helen: First I believe we 'go' at God's timing, even if I reach your age and beyond.

I do not mentally fixate on an age to die. <snip>.

This article in your link is a person that seems fearful of becoming 'old' not wanting to lose some of his keen mind etc, and is finding all types of rationale arguments to make himself brave. And he is spot on with them. His writing seems to be in a typical secular fashion. Now I agree with most of the facts, although I do not make any of these a part of my life. I take it one day at a time.

I depend on my creator for my time to 'go.'

I hope Helen you are happy and live a life God wants you to live. I would not get concerned about this person's opinion, to affect your life. There are many more like him, and in my opinion they cannot compare to the awesome God we have in heaven.

God Bless you,

APAK

Hey there....thanks for the response.
In answer to your first line above...
I once heard someone preach saying that he took literally the verse of David's which says " Teach us to number our days.."
I did pray, and I did ask the Lord what the number of my days were. :)
Then a few week later, I can't remember how now, too long ago..I had the strong impression that I will live to be 87. Why I have no idea.
Then almost ten years later I was praying about a physical ailment ( a nasty one...many, many times I just "pray through" and do not run to the doctor, unless I feel a strong nudge to do so)
The word that I heard from the Lord, was not just about this one issue...but included the verse to king Hezekiah "I will add to your life 15 years..."
Obviously I counted 15 years on from that day...and sure enough I would be 87. A confirmation of what I believed I had heard ten yeas before...
Now, do I trust myself? No.
Do I trust that I have 100% spiritually clear hearing..No.
But Like many other things in my life, I hold it lightly , but I still hold it. ...and all I can say is "we will see" :)

So, obviously I do not intend to tap-out at 75...its already too late for that anyway! ha!

Bless you...Helen.

 

[Helen]

Enjoy the moment

Agree...but, when the enjoyment of it suddenly or slowly stops??

 

[Butterfly]

Bygrace , would God not understand your reasons for taking your meds and know your inner views and faith with regards to healing, surely it's not rebellion, but consideration of others xx
I think many people in our care home just know and get to a point where they have had enough - it's hard to watch the slow process towards the end, some pass quite quickly, some take week-two weeks.
No two residents end of life is the same - and timing is sometimes weird, so does make me wonder if it is Gods decision.

 

[bbyrd009]

Agree...but, when the enjoyment of it suddenly or slowly stops??

ha well that can happen at 14 i guess

 

[amadeus]

my first reaction to this is to be reminded of how the elderly are valued in other societies, and how much we marginalize the elderly in the Developed world (along with women, children, brown ppl, Muslims, Catholics, blacks, yellows, animals, our own gut bacteria, the planet, ... you get it i guess)

Ah yes, our nation was once much more family oriented and perhaps along with that more God oriented. In those times most people lived in the country [as opposed to cities] and everyone worked the garden and crops, took care of the animals, washed the clothes, prepared the meals, etc. When a person got to where he/she could no longer effectively help then the others took up the slack, which included whatever care that person required. Now... God forbid with regard to what we too often see now. Having retired from the Social Security Administration in the year 2000 I was witness to too much neglect and greediness on the part of children and grandchildren first hand. The situation has not, I believe, improved since then.

My wife and I are in that group of elderly these days, with me at 74 and her at 67. We are there for one another now, but if either is left alone, how helpful will our children be? I would hope for the best, but I would not really expect it and both of them supposedly know God. Hmmm? I won't say more about their walk with God, but many here probably already know what I mean without filling the details.

 

[bbyrd009]

our nation

the country

interesting to me how both of these terms have been manipulated; especially in those places that display the most disdain for the elderly, seems like anyway

 

[aspen]

Agree...but, when the enjoyment of it suddenly or slowly stops??

I’ve been there....

In times like these, I have learned to recognize the inherent BS in life and how I really never agreed to any of it - most of it is none of my business so to speak. Then, I take a walk in the sunshine and thank God for being alive

 

[Helen]

On the other hand, while the old flesh diminishes, the new man within born of God, hopefully, for each of us, is growing stronger, more mature in the things of God and therefore closer to God.

But then why did the apostle Paul write this?

"If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable." I Cor 15:19

His personal physical hardships may have played a part:

"Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.
Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.
Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;
In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;
In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness." II Cor 11:23-27

The man certainly suffered, but more than because of the suffering, I believe his statement regarding being miserable was because he... that is we cannot always feel or perceive the best things of God while we are here in this veil of flesh. Consider like I do, Jesus, who really came down into hell for our benefit. He purposely came down to suffer pain and to die a terrible death. If we can even begin to conceive where He started from to end on dying on the cross then we may also begin to yearn for our personal end to come... but look at what else Paul wrote...

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Phil 4:11

I do think at times it would be nice to be able to play tennis again or do some of the other things that I have enjoyed in this world, but when I talk to God seriously, I seriously am content in the state in which I am. The heart [of flesh] is weaker. My lungs at times won't provide the oxygen my body seems to demand, but I just take it easy and talk to God one more time and say thank you for what you have given me... including the time I have already had. I am 74.

Give God the glory!

Good post, and so true.

The thing is John...right now...we can indeed say the old outer man diminishes and our inner man is alive and well in God.
But , here is the but...but what and if we come to the place of no longer being aware of God at all? I saw that with my old mum , she lived to be 99.
She could not longer speak anything but gibberish...I could tell by her eyes that this frightened her , she didn't who I was...
I have to be honest and say that I didn't see any "inner man" rejoicing in her.
I sat day after day in hospital with a next door neighbour who was dying of liver cancer. I slowly had to watch the light of the Lord go out of his eyes.
He refused morphine because he couldn't think with it.
One day I said to him...you can't feel the presence of the Lord any more can you. He shook his head. John, that must have been a terrifying time for him.
Being at the end, knowing he was going any day...and no awareness of the Lord at all...but an all consuming pain.
No "Inner man rejoicing" there. I couldn't find any inner man there.
I just said to him.. " Leo, this is it, we are at the wire...now you have to let go, rest on our prayers to carry you through the last bit...no condemnation for not feeling God. Just trust now in God's heart...He said He will be will us to the end, so, feeling Him or not feeling Him..He IS with you even in this dark valley." Leo died that night.
That day was the day that God allowed me ears to be open...
As I walked toward the Exit door of the hospital , my ears were opened..and I hears the shrieking, cackling, laugher of demons....horrible. I ran to my car...even outside the hospital I could still hear the shrieking laughter...I had heard them speak, but I had never heard the laughing and gloating before that day. ( thankfully I never have since)...and some foolish Christians don't even 'believe' that demons really are.

Goodness...that was a long ramble..... just as well that it was me that started this thread, or I'd be derailing it !!
I can't even remember what point I was making....Oh right...I remember...the time when we can no longer live " in the Spirit" out of the inner man, and the old ,outer man has totally taken back over!!

 

[Helen]

@aspen Amen to that post ..yes..can you speak at all to my post to John though? ie Amadeus? But no worries...

Have a good and blessed day brother. :)

 

[lforrest]

Some may find this interesting...some won't.
Im sure @bbyrd009 will at least give it a look over.( Remember Mark...this is talking about when we are 'my age'....not at your age now)

I found it so interesting. I will put the link so you can read it for yourself.
But as many ( like me) do not like links...I will put a snippet right here.

I think some of us can agree that at "our age" (76) and much younger for me. We have basically be 'kept from dying' by medication ( blood pressure meds, heart meds...surgeries, etc) I am already past my "sell by" date! :)

So, in one way we have already taken our time of death out of God's trusting hand, and into our own. So the answer.." I am trusting God's timing.." doesn't wash for some of us.

This link is asking - When is it time to say ..'enough'....I will "take an aspirin if I get a headache, but if I get pneumonia I will say no thank you to the antibiotics, The Colonoscopies ,Mammography, Scan's etc ( which I personally have always done anyway...but I have had surgeries and taken the medications.....but...when do we stop?)
When is it time to let go?

So, here is the snippet and also the link for those who find it as interesting as I did :)
Quote:-
That’s how long I want to live: 75 years.

This preference drives my daughters crazy. It drives my brothers crazy. My loving friends think I am crazy. They think that I can’t mean what I say; that I haven’t thought clearly about this, because there is so much in the world to see and do. To convince me of my errors, they enumerate the myriad people I know who are over 75 and doing quite well. They are certain that as I get closer to 75, I will push the desired age back to 80, then 85, maybe even 90.

I am sure of my position. Doubtless, death is a loss. It deprives us of experiences and milestones, of time spent with our spouse and children. In short, it deprives us of all the things we value.

But here is a simple truth that many of us seem to resist: living too long is also a loss. It renders many of us, if not disabled, then faltering and declining, a state that may not be worse than death but is nonetheless deprived. It robs us of our creativity and ability to contribute to work, society, the world. It transforms how people experience us, relate to us, and, most important, remember us. We are no longer remembered as vibrant and engaged but as feeble, ineffectual, even pathetic.

By the time I reach 75, I will have lived a complete life. I will have loved and been loved.
Etc etc etc.....blah blah.... End Quote.
LINK - < Why I Hope to Die at 75 >

Bless you... :)

The elderly may think they have outlived their usefulness to society and no longer have a reason to live. My Grandmother thinks this as well.

I say who cares about society? How long will the work of our hands endure 5,50, or 500 years? Even our children will be forgotten. Young or old the works of our hands are meaningless.

What is important is what lasts, and that is only kingdom stuff. And even those not helping the Kingdom directly may be enabling another to serve just by their living.

 

[aspen]

Good post, and so true.

The thing is John...right now...we can indeed say the old outer man diminishes and our inner man is alive and well in God.
But , here is the but...but what and if we come to the place of no longer being aware of God at all? I saw that with my old mum , she lived to be 99.
She could not longer speak anything but gibberish...I could tell by her eyes that this frightened her , she didn't who I was...
I have to be honest and say that I didn't see any "inner man" rejoicing in her.
I sat day after day in hospital with a next door neighbour who was dying of liver cancer. I slowly had to watch the light of the Lord go out of his eyes.
He refused morphine because he couldn't think with it.
One day I said to him...you can't feel the presence of the Lord any more can you. He shook his head. John, that must have been a terrifying time for him.
Being at the end, knowing he was going any day...and no awareness of the Lord at all...but an all consuming pain.
No "Inner man rejoicing" there. I couldn't find any inner man there.
I just said to him.. " Leo, this is it, we are at the wire...now you have to let go, rest on our prayers to carry you through the last bit...no condemnation for not feeling God. Just trust now in God's heart...He said He will be will us to the end, so, feeling Him or not feeling Him..He IS with you even in this dark valley." Leo died that night.
That day was the day that God allowed me ears to be open...
As I walked toward the Exit door of the hospital , my ears were opened..and I hears the shrieking, cackling, laugher of demons....horrible. I ran to my car...even outside the hospital I could still hear the shrieking laughter...I had heard them speak, but I had never heard the laughing and gloating before that day. ( thankfully I never have since)...and some foolish Christians don't even 'believe' that demons really are.

Goodness...that was a long ramble..... just as well that it was me that started this thread, or I'd be derailing it !!
I can't even remember what point I was making....Oh right...I remember...the time when we can no longer live " in the Spirit" out of the inner man, and the old ,outer man has totally taken back over!!

I think you were witnessing the pure true self of your mother and Leo. Their false selves had been stripped away or short circuited by pain meds. The true self has no concept of the roles we play in this life, or the masks we wear. During the last few hours of life and after death all that is burned away. After volunteering as a hospice worker, i have learned that people often move from ‘knowing’ to ‘experiencing’ God. They cannot tell you about their experience without moving back into a theoretical state of being, which is part of the false self! People who are unable to be ‘naked’ (give up their false self or lose the garden clothing God knitted for us) continue to fight experiencing......they are like Lot’s wife......you can see them struggle and cling because in their mind they are their false self and death is viewed as annihilation. Faith leads us to vulnerability and union with God

 

[amadeus]

Yes true....or the option of internet Sites like this one!!
Maybe I should be praying much more and posting much LESS!!!

Praying more is a good thing, but the posting less is not necessarily. You also do some good with your posts here, whether you know it or not. We don't always know when or where or how God is working. He works through available vessels, which includes you.

 

[amadeus]

interesting to me how both of these terms have been manipulated; especially in those places that display the most disdain for the elderly, seems like anyway

Anything that can be manipulated to advantage probably has been manipulated.

 

[bbyrd009]

Good post, and so true.

The thing is John...right now...we can indeed say the old outer man diminishes and our inner man is alive and well in God.
But , here is the but...but what and if we come to the place of no longer being aware of God at all? I saw that with my old mum , she lived to be 99.
She could not longer speak anything but gibberish...I could tell by her eyes that this frightened her , she didn't who I was...
I have to be honest and say that I didn't see any "inner man" rejoicing in her.
I sat day after day in hospital with a next door neighbour who was dying of liver cancer. I slowly had to watch the light of the Lord go out of his eyes.
He refused morphine because he couldn't think with it.
One day I said to him...you can't feel the presence of the Lord any more can you. He shook his head. John, that must have been a terrifying time for him.
Being at the end, knowing he was going any day...and no awareness of the Lord at all...but an all consuming pain.
No "Inner man rejoicing" there. I couldn't find any inner man there.
I just said to him.. " Leo, this is it, we are at the wire...now you have to let go, rest on our prayers to carry you through the last bit...no condemnation for not feeling God. Just trust now in God's heart...He said He will be will us to the end, so, feeling Him or not feeling Him..He IS with you even in this dark valley." Leo died that night.
That day was the day that God allowed me ears to be open...
As I walked toward the Exit door of the hospital , my ears were opened..and I hears the shrieking, cackling, laugher of demons....horrible. I ran to my car...even outside the hospital I could still hear the shrieking laughter...I had heard them speak, but I had never heard the laughing and gloating before that day. ( thankfully I never have since)...and some foolish Christians don't even 'believe' that demons really are.

Goodness...that was a long ramble..... just as well that it was me that started this thread, or I'd be derailing it !!
I can't even remember what point I was making....Oh right...I remember...the time when we can no longer live " in the Spirit" out of the inner man, and the old ,outer man has totally taken back over!!

i'm struck by a testimony i read last night, in this regard, i'll see if i can find it, brb

 

[bbyrd009]

"My 83 year old grandmother has very late stage Alzheimer's disease. For the last 6 years, it has been the hardest battle we have dealt with in my family. We've tried numerous medications that either had no effect on the disease or made things very difficult in regards to her health and sleep.

We were recently gifted with cookies infused with some oil to try and see the effect.

I must tell you, it is a miracle!

My grandmother was barely able to feed herself on her own, use the restroom without violence occuring, staying up all night beating on walls and herself. She couldn't speak sentences that made sense, nor could she tell you who she was,where she was, etc.

She said her own FULL name for the first time in 6 years. The violence and rage episodes has now dwindled to maybe once a week, and she is off all medication. She is sleeping through the night, joking and laughing and recognizing objects and actually called the dog by his name in a full understandable sentence.

This is only 2 weeks with the oil infusions. 6 years of the worst battle of our lives, and with a simple dose inside a cookie, my grandmother is with us and functioning as if she was in her early stages.
I want to thank you all for sharing your stories and giving my family the courage to treat my grandmother with this miracle oil. I know my grandmother is not fully with us like she was 10 years ago, but as the days go by, it's made such a difference in her and our lives."

 

[amadeus]

Good post, and so true.

The thing is John...right now...we can indeed say the old outer man diminishes and our inner man is alive and well in God.
But , here is the but...but what and if we come to the place of no longer being aware of God at all? I saw that with my old mum , she lived to be 99.
She could not longer speak anything but gibberish...I could tell by her eyes that this frightened her , she didn't who I was...
I have to be honest and say that I didn't see any "inner man" rejoicing in her.

Helen, God knows about our frailties better than any of us. I would believe that if our heart toward God is right when we reach a point where we can no longer understand enough to make an informed decision that God will put us on hold for Him right there. There are reasons which concern those left, such as yourself, with such questions as to why a person would be put on hold rather than being released from this natural life immediately. God always has His reasons, even when and if we have not even a clue.

I sat day after day in hospital with a next door neighbour who was dying of liver cancer. I slowly had to watch the light of the Lord go out of his eyes.
He refused morphine because he couldn't think with it.
One day I said to him...you can't feel the presence of the Lord any more can you. He shook his head. John, that must have been a terrifying time for him.
Being at the end, knowing he was going any day...and no awareness of the Lord at all...but an all consuming pain.
No "Inner man rejoicing" there. I couldn't find any inner man there.

Remember this:

"And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Matt 27:46

Jesus, the man of flesh, I believe was where your friend was. He still did what he had to do even if he could not feel God with him. It does not mean that God was not there...

I just said to him.. " Leo, this is it, we are at the wire...now you have to let go, rest on our prayers to carry you through the last bit...no condemnation for not feeling God. Just trust now in God's heart...He said He will be will us to the end, so, feeling Him or not feeling Him..He IS with you even in this dark valley." Leo died that night.
That day was the day that God allowed me ears to be open...
As I walked toward the Exit door of the hospital , my ears were opened..and I hears the shrieking, cackling, laugher of demons....horrible. I ran to my car...even outside the hospital I could still hear the shrieking laughter...I had heard them speak, but I had never heard the laughing and gloating before that day. ( thankfully I never have since)...and some foolish Christians don't even 'believe' that demons really are.

Goodness...that was a long ramble..... just as well that it was me that started this thread, or I'd be derailing it !!
I can't even remember what point I was making....Oh right...I remember...the time when we can no longer live " in the Spirit" out of the inner man, and the old ,outer man has totally taken back over!!

That was a dark hour for you, but here I will insert another story that may help you and others:

Consider my pastor's wife who was always a God-fearing woman in the best sense. Neither her nor her husband rushed to doctor all of the time. They were born and grew up in a time when medical help was a last resort or at worst only sought for very serious illnesses. They both had witnessed too many healings where doctors were not involved to not trust God first.

But... in July of 2012 she was in excruciating pain so her husband and my wife took her to the emergency room. The doctor there talked with her and without a physical examination and no tests of any kind he concluded she was constipated and had a nurse give her an enema and sent her home. His reason for no tests was that, according to him, Medicare would not pay for it.

After a terrible night, the next morning she called my wife and asked her to come and give her another enema. My wife complied but the lady continued in excruciating pain. That afternoon her husband and my wife took her back to the emergency room. A different doctor was working. He quickly ran tests and apologetically said that while he couldn't absolutely confirm it, he was pretty certain she had pancreatic cancer, one of the most painful ways to die. I say die because at that time that was it. I presume it still is.

My wife and I went with the two of them to the oncologist [cancer doctor] who came in to talk with all of us. He asked my pastor's wife if she believed in God to which she of course responded that she did. The doctor advised her then to seek God's help for there was nothing he could do but prescribe pain medication. He did that had contacted hospice for her. She was dying and medical science could not even slow it down.

She went home and suffered severely but mostly silently until 9-1-2012 when she simply did not wake up in the morning. My wife was with her daily and the lady's was worst complaint was her concern that no one would be there to care for her husband when she was gone. Many people visited but the only one to whom she revealed how severe her pain was, was my wife. She did not want her husband to realize how much she hurt. He never did know until some time after she was gone. Everyone who visited her, and there were many, was blessed by their conversation with her. They came into the small home with sad expressions of their faces because they knew their loved was leaving them. My wife is witness to the fact that everyone of them left the home blessed after their final conversation with this dying old woman who always loved others more than she loved herself. None who visited her knew about her severe and continuous pain during those visits other than my wife

They lived in a small mobile home behind the building where her husband was the pastor and she was the piano player. Not long after her diagnosis she had to stop playing the piano, but she only missed one service, the very last one, from the day of diagnosis to the day of her death. With my wife's help she walked over to her final service on Sunday. My wife told her that if she missed the service, everyone would understand, but she insisted on attending. The following Wednesday service she was unable to walk at all and she missed it. She died on Saturday morning. She had gone to be finally and completely with the Lord.