7 second test for a Christian narcissist

[Debp]

 

[Debp]

To me, a narcissist is someone only absorbed about themselves. Everything is about them and their situations...no thoughts for others.

 

[Hepzibah]

To me, a narcissist is someone only absorbed about themselves. Everything is about them and their situations...no thoughts for others.

It is good hearing a Christian about this personality disorder as there are thousands of video's on YouTube about narcissism and recovery from being in a relationship with one. Thank you for that.

 

[Wrangler]

It's sad there there is such a thing as a Christian narcissist. I think I'm married to one. She even wants to take my money or assets I bought for us to give to those she would like to help. I told her it is not charity if it does not come from you.

Then there are the manipulative responses to being told no! Oh my! Her most common response is to pretend that I have to explain WHY if the answer is no. Many times I've told her that, "No does not require an explanation."

Sometimes she says in a big rush that she is feeling good as a manipulative tactic for why I have to do something. To that I tell her, "Just because you feel good does not mean that I feel good."

Very often she comes where I am like a herd of elephants demanding I get on her agenda immediately. 1st, I ask if she sees me doing something else. 2nd, I tell her that IF I agree to help her it will be on my terms, i.e., I'll do what she wants HOW I want it and WHEN I want to do it. Many times she rejects this causing break away. That is, I put what she wants in the form of a question, e.g., "Can you do X?" Then I emphatically say, "No. The answer is no. Not that I lack the ability. You are always obsessed with my ability. I lack the will. Yes, I can do it but I WILL NOT DO IT! And I've explained why many times in the past. If you cannot accept my helping you HOW and WHEN I want, then forget it! I WILL NOT DO IT." Then I walk away and do something else not giving her the chance to escalate or carry on.

The narcissist has huge lack of awareness of boundaries. Somehow, she turns her being in need (or wanting something) as a justification to being a dictator. No thank you. Her most common boundary violation is WHEN. She always wants what she wants NOW - just like a 3 year old.

One manipulative tactic is for her to be angry. I detail the dynamic, ending with I am angry with you!!! She's got nothing. One time, this Christian narcissist did not hesitate to call me an asshole - supposing I'd submit to shaming language. I didn't. I came back with you are the asshole for not accepting my terms and conditions but expecting to call all the shots. Imagine if the script was flipped? She knows there is no way she'd submit to being dictated to about every little detail. What's most sad is that she never learns and I pointed out that is why she does not have many friends. In the end, Christian narcissists only hurt themselves.

 

[Wrangler]

A simple way to identify a narcissist is their tendency to take the converse of the famous quote from JFK.
ASK NOT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR OTHERS,
ASK WHAT OTHERS CAN DO FOR YOU.

Numerous times I’ve enjoyed fellowship with our neighbors when my Christian narcissist comes by trying to sell them something. The dynamic instantly changes, taking the air out of the nice gathering.

More than 1 neighbor complained to me about this dynamic. Telling her, she persists, even trying to sell things to my daughter under false pretenses.

My Christian narcissist rationalizes non-Christian behavior by living with a crisis mentality, desperate need. I’ve told her many times 2 things:

1. You are not really in a crisis or in desperate need. It is just a false mindset.
2. Your supposed need does not put a burden on others to be your slave. This is where faith comes in.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

To me, a narcissist is someone only absorbed about themselves. Everything is about them and their situations...no thoughts for others.

Often it is our spouse, the closest person to us, who can hurt us the most. I hear the church say marriage, when a man and woman become one is the epitome (example) of Christ and his body, the church. I hear this is why two of the same sex marrying does not display the union of Christ and His body. But at the same time I wonder how a marriage of contention and a union of two who don’t necessarily like or care for one another(as the years wear on), is any closer to the example of Christ and His body?

Can both in a marriage be narcissist? I believe so. Does both being narcissist make for a doomed union? I believe so. How can a marriage last with the definition of: someone only absorbed about themselves. Everything is about them and their situations...no thoughts for others.
Especially, when it is both. Makes me wonder about “when a man’s ways please the Lord, God is able to make even his enemies to be at peace with him” …yet there is struggles to have peace in marriages which are the example of Christ?


I was listening to proverbs last night while falling to sleep and the verse about “the brawling woman in a wide house” stood out to me. What if “the brawling woman in a wide house” is not about the female gender, but more about two battling (in a wide house) over who is right in their own eyes? Especially concerning God’s word. ironic is two men arguing over religion can also be “two brawling women in a wide house” while the men go home and accuse their wife of being “the brawling woman in a wide house.” Blind to how they may also be a brawling woman. Yet, also a man and wife both brawling over who is right also can be “two brawling women in a wide house”. If so, will the wide house fall?

What is scary is my husband has pointed this out about religion…how nothing makes narcissist more than religion. How will there ever be any peace? Point is …narcissist is a broad term where often if I say I’m not a narcissist, I might just be one?

 

[Nancy]

One can never ever reason with a narcissist. several times in my life I have come across them. It would not at all take me long to know one as I've had friends (ex-friends) who was like exactly as the video described. The saddest thing is when they ruin the lives who they catch in their web of deceit. And yes, they (at least one of them, to this day) will stick with the narcissist for their whole lives. I know a man who's wife is a narcissist. He is definitely torn because of the children they had together, we speak now and then and he tells me of all the things he has had to go through. He separated with her but still goes over there when she bellows! It can also be a learned behavior I believe.
I have prayed for many years against this evil for the few I do know personally.
Snakes in the grass...very crafty!

 

[amigo de christo]

To me, a narcissist is someone only absorbed about themselves. Everything is about them and their situations...no thoughts for others.

what would you call a person who is only absorbed with GOD , His truth
and doing all for the sakes of others . including correction because they desire only good for the person .
What kind of person is that .
IN other words they dont care if people treat them harshly or bad
THEY only desire To please GOD and to do all for the sakes of others .
What kind of person would you call that . that puts their own welfare out of the way
and rather than trying to please people they try and HELP people and do what is best for them
To PUT GOD CHRIST FIRST above all , before mother , father , son , daughter
before humanity . what kind of person is that . i am curious AS to what you think that kind of person is .

 

[Debp]

what would you call a person who is only absorbed with GOD , His truth
and doing all for the sakes of others . including correction because they desire only good for the person .
What kind of person is that .
IN other words they dont care if people treat them harshly or bad
THEY only desire To please GOD and to do all for the sakes of others .
What kind of person would you call that . that puts their own welfare out of the way
and rather than trying to please people they try and HELP people and do what is best for them
To PUT GOD CHRIST FIRST above all , before mother , father , son , daughter
before humanity . what kind of person is that . i am curious AS to what you think that kind of person is .

I would say that's a mature, spirit-filled Christian.

 

[amigo de christo]

I would say that's a mature, spirit-filled Christian.

To the trenches my dear friend , this last hours battle is about to explode . OUR HOPE BE IN THE LORD and not in man .

 

[Lambano]

And what would you call a person who makes every thread about what he wants to talk about, regardless of the actual topic, in order to be seen as a mature, spirit-filled Christian?

Happy birthday to you,
Happy bIrthday to you...

 

[Ritajanice]

And what would you call a person who makes every thread about what he wants to talk about, regardless of the actual topic, in order to be seen as a mature, spirit-filled Christian?

Happy birthday to you,
Happy bIrthday to you...

To be honest I’ve put other’s before myself and it made me very ill, I was trying to please everyone, as I thought that was my calling, it wasn’t.
I ended up “ burnt out”...
God has showed me to put myself first, and look after myself and health...I help people as and when I feel prompted to, it sort of happens naturally, if you get my meaning ..

We are imo led by the Spirit.the thing is, we must learn to tune into the Spirit and not the self...forever learning in spiritual maturity/ growth and understanding etc...just my opinion.

 

[Lambano]

And what would you call a person who makes every thread about what he wants to talk about, regardless of the actual topic, in order to be seen as a mature, spirit-filled Christian?

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you...

Actually, I was thinking that we've been handed a golden opportunity to apply the techniques taught in the video for setting and enforcing boundaries with narcissists.

 

[amigo de christo]

And what would you call a person who makes every thread about what he wants to talk about, regardless of the actual topic, in order to be seen as a mature, spirit-filled Christian?

Happy birthday to you,
Happy bIrthday to you...

Rather than putting the focus on me and my birthday lets put the focus on CHRIST and all HIS lovely pure doctrine .

 

[Lambano]

Now, @amigo de christo, we are not going to do that. Your behavior indicates that you are more concerned with your self-image as "man absorbed with GOD" than with the topic at hand, which happens to be how to handle a narcissist.

Class, do you see how this works?

 

[Lambano]

Now, class, watch for certain behaviors. Remember, the narcissist knows how to look respectable. Set boundaries and stick to them!

 

[Ritajanice]

Let’s not get to personal eh.

I can’t stand to see anyone picked on constantly...I keep going on about Born Again, some of us can’t help it, it must come out of our heart..I know it should be kept out of some threads, I’m asking the Spirit to help me work on that....

My neighbour is a narcissist...I won’t go into detail, that lady on The video is giving me the tools to deal with her.

 

[JohnDB]

Now y'all are gonna spoil all my fun.
Narcissists have this shiny brass ring running through their nose that can make them go anywhere and do anything when pulled on.
Then their fears and wants will make them do things as well.
Kinda a reverse carrot and stick except using fear and pain. Never a carrot.

I'm a construction worker....I know EXACTLY how to use tools until they are broken. But that's what tools are good for when you want to use them. Otherwise they get left in the shop or tool bag ignored and forgotten.

And if EVERYONE starts using them what am I gonna play with? Not that I really am worried. Narcissists are at an epidemic stage in the world today. A type of zombie in the Spiritual sense. (Just don't get bit)

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

 

[Ritajanice]

I can remember as a cleaner, some never thanked me after I had cleaned their house, I took that as, I wasn’t doing enough cleaning for them, do you know that I ended up giving them an extra half hour even an hour of time, because I never thought I had done enough for them.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself, that was the old pathetic/ weak, Ritajanice...LOL.

I just got a word, don’t start wallowing in self pity,LOL.

 

[marks]

Actually, I was thinking that we've been handed a golden opportunity to apply the techniques taught in the video for setting and enforcing boundaries with narcissists.

You'll have to do that for yourself, I think!

Much love!