Depressed, struggling with serving God in my Church.

[Azim]

Please, pray for me. For my own issues first. I struggle with many things. I'm too ashamed to admit. But God has planted me at church, since 2009, in my second church. He took me out out in 2017. I knew then I was spiritually dead. After three trials in the begging in 2019, He brought me back to my second church, Ebenezer. During the pandemic, He used me greatly, as the church was given funds to continue services online. Now, years later, at times, on Sunday, juggling between doing sound tech and live stream duties, the work of 2-3 people, I'm confused. Because God has increased my service. I lead the young adults bible study, and this past year, our prayer and fellowship time. Alternating on Fridays. As a volunteer, and not a formally trained teacher of the bible, I'm exhausted.

The reason being, I have come to know, while we waiting for a new senior pastor for the last 4 years, our elders, are not all full of faith. I feel I have been lead a stray. Yet, the dreams (two which have come true right away almost) say God wants me in this church.

So this is my real prayer. Me, lowly, a no one. To confront these elders, of this church, where thousands of people walk by, each week. If its Gods will, will He give me his words, to confront these elders and leaders? To show them, they lack in faith? In the position God has allowed them in?

I'm sorry for this long message. I've been sick for the last several days. I missed serving my time at my church this Sunday. I've only had two Sundays off, in the last year and while praying, these were brought to mind. I have pride in me, in asking for help. But I'm casting that off, asking help among you. I'm doing my best. And need guidance from God. And His word. Pray for that, please?

 

[Stumpmaster]

Please, pray for me. For my own issues first. I struggle with many things. I'm too ashamed to admit. But God has planted me at church, since 2009, in my second church. He took me out out in 2017. I knew then I was spiritually dead. After three trials in the begging in 2019, He brought me back to my second church, Ebenezer. During the pandemic, He used me greatly, as the church was given funds to continue services online. Now, years later, at times, on Sunday, juggling between doing sound tech and live stream duties, the work of 2-3 people, I'm confused. Because God has increased my service. I lead the young adults bible study, and this past year, our prayer and fellowship time. Alternating on Fridays. As a volunteer, and not a formally trained teacher of the bible, I'm exhausted.

The reason being, I have come to know, while we waiting for a new senior pastor for the last 4 years, our elders, are not all full of faith. I feel I have been lead a stray. Yet, the dreams (two which have come true right away almost) say God wants me in this church.

So this is my real prayer. Me, lowly, a no one. To confront these elders, of this church, where thousands of people walk by, each week. If its Gods will, will He give me his words, to confront these elders and leaders? To show them, they lack in faith? In the position God has allowed them in?

I'm sorry for this long message. I've been sick for the last several days. I missed serving my time at my church this Sunday. I've only had two Sundays off, in the last year and while praying, these were brought to mind. I have pride in me, in asking for help. But I'm casting that off, asking help among you. I'm doing my best. And need guidance from God. And His word. Pray for that, please?

Classic Burnout.

@Azim. Hand in your notice or you will be in dire straights. What started out as genuine Godly ministry has now become fleshly bondage which is moving you away from communion with Christ, the end result of which will be the withering of your faith and spiritual unfruitfulness.

Three Antichrist Hazards:

1. Unrealistic Expectations
2. Unreasonable Demands
3. Unbearable Burdens

Mat 11:28-30 Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (29) Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (30) For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

 

[Hidden In Him]

Please, pray for me. For my own issues first. I struggle with many things. I'm too ashamed to admit. But God has planted me at church, since 2009, in my second church. He took me out out in 2017. I knew then I was spiritually dead. After three trials in the begging in 2019, He brought me back to my second church, Ebenezer. During the pandemic, He used me greatly, as the church was given funds to continue services online. Now, years later, at times, on Sunday, juggling between doing sound tech and live stream duties, the work of 2-3 people, I'm confused. Because God has increased my service. I lead the young adults bible study, and this past year, our prayer and fellowship time. Alternating on Fridays. As a volunteer, and not a formally trained teacher of the bible, I'm exhausted.

The reason being, I have come to know, while we waiting for a new senior pastor for the last 4 years, our elders, are not all full of faith. I feel I have been lead a stray. Yet, the dreams (two which have come true right away almost) say God wants me in this church.

So this is my real prayer. Me, lowly, a no one. To confront these elders, of this church, where thousands of people walk by, each week. If its Gods will, will He give me his words, to confront these elders and leaders? To show them, they lack in faith? In the position God has allowed them in?

I'm sorry for this long message. I've been sick for the last several days. I missed serving my time at my church this Sunday. I've only had two Sundays off, in the last year and while praying, these were brought to mind. I have pride in me, in asking for help. But I'm casting that off, asking help among you. I'm doing my best. And need guidance from God. And His word. Pray for that, please?

Blessings in Christ, Azim, and I pray the Lord gives you His guidance. If He has given you dreams in the past that showed you the way to go, pray to Him and trust Him that He will show you the way to go here.

Cast your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.

Praying,
Hidden In Him

 

[Windmill Charge]

I'm exhausted.

Me, lowly, a no one. To confront these elders, of this church

So you want to start a major fight while very tired!

May I suggest that you talk to whoever has spiritual oversight of your roles.
If no one has that responsibility, talk to the junior minister and if he has no practical help do what has already been suggested resign and become a pew filler while you recover from over work.

As this is a prayer forum, I will pray for you.
That you can take all the advice and seek help from both God and your leaders.

 

[Brakelite]

Because God has increased my service.

He does not burden you with more than you can bear. And you are not bearing the present load. My conclusion is that it isn't God increasing your work load, it's a thoughtless leadership. Ditch everything except that which you feel comfortable to handle. You are the greater priority than church tech etc. You are no good to God or anyone else if you are in danger of a breakdown.

 

[Debp]

Please, pray for me. For my own issues first. I struggle with many things. I'm too ashamed to admit. But God has planted me at church, since 2009, in my second church. He took me out out in 2017. I knew then I was spiritually dead. After three trials in the begging in 2019, He brought me back to my second church, Ebenezer. During the pandemic, He used me greatly, as the church was given funds to continue services online. Now, years later, at times, on Sunday, juggling between doing sound tech and live stream duties, the work of 2-3 people, I'm confused. Because God has increased my service. I lead the young adults bible study, and this past year, our prayer and fellowship time. Alternating on Fridays. As a volunteer, and not a formally trained teacher of the bible, I'm exhausted.

The reason being, I have come to know, while we waiting for a new senior pastor for the last 4 years, our elders, are not all full of faith. I feel I have been lead a stray. Yet, the dreams (two which have come true right away almost) say God wants me in this church.

So this is my real prayer. Me, lowly, a no one. To confront these elders, of this church, where thousands of people walk by, each week. If its Gods will, will He give me his words, to confront these elders and leaders? To show them, they lack in faith? In the position God has allowed them in?

I'm sorry for this long message. I've been sick for the last several days. I missed serving my time at my church this Sunday. I've only had two Sundays off, in the last year and while praying, these were brought to mind. I have pride in me, in asking for help. But I'm casting that off, asking help among you. I'm doing my best. And need guidance from God. And His word. Pray for that, please?

I likewise think you are over burdening yourself with these duties. You must learn to say no sometimes. Don't feel guilty about that. Your communion and peace with the Lord is the most important thing. Remember Mary and Martha.

 

[Nancy]

@Azim
I pray that The Lord will guide you and give you wisdom and courage to stand up to these "leaders", they are just as much liable to fall into sin as anyone else. Perhaps this is what God placed you there for?
Blessings!

 

[amigo de christo]

He does not burden you with more than you can bear. And you are not bearing the present load. My conclusion is that it isn't God increasing your work load, it's a thoughtless leadership. Ditch everything except that which you feel comfortable to handle. You are the greater priority than church tech etc. You are no good to God or anyone else if you are in danger of a breakdown.

There is much peace and great joy in the things of the LORD .
I never grow weary in pointing to Christ , the lovely truth in that bible , and doing all
to warn and remind anyone of the dangers of anything that does contradict Truth .
Many wear down and out because they either do not heed all the truth and have by mens intelellect
taken from or added too THE WORDS of GOD thinking they can build a better church or etc .
When a man takes off from heeding any reminder , any warning , any truth to the pattern given us in the scrips
that man is in danger and leaven will only increase and delusion will abound .
In other words , It really is time we just get back into our bible , relearn and be refreshed in that truth
ensuring we are following GOD and not men who twisted things .

 

[BarneyFife]

Please, pray for me. For my own issues first. I struggle with many things. I'm too ashamed to admit. But God has planted me at church, since 2009, in my second church. He took me out out in 2017. I knew then I was spiritually dead. After three trials in the begging in 2019, He brought me back to my second church, Ebenezer. During the pandemic, He used me greatly, as the church was given funds to continue services online. Now, years later, at times, on Sunday, juggling between doing sound tech and live stream duties, the work of 2-3 people, I'm confused. Because God has increased my service. I lead the young adults bible study, and this past year, our prayer and fellowship time. Alternating on Fridays. As a volunteer, and not a formally trained teacher of the bible, I'm exhausted.

The reason being, I have come to know, while we waiting for a new senior pastor for the last 4 years, our elders, are not all full of faith. I feel I have been lead a stray. Yet, the dreams (two which have come true right away almost) say God wants me in this church.

So this is my real prayer. Me, lowly, a no one. To confront these elders, of this church, where thousands of people walk by, each week. If its Gods will, will He give me his words, to confront these elders and leaders? To show them, they lack in faith? In the position God has allowed them in?

I'm sorry for this long message. I've been sick for the last several days. I missed serving my time at my church this Sunday. I've only had two Sundays off, in the last year and while praying, these were brought to mind. I have pride in me, in asking for help. But I'm casting that off, asking help among you. I'm doing my best. And need guidance from God. And His word. Pray for that, please?

These words are not meant merely to remedy anxiety over temporal needs—God actually cares more about your health and ministry than you do:

Matthew 6:25-34 — Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

.

Also helpful is Job 38 and onward. While having the distinct tone of chastening and rebuke just for the sake of doing so, it is meant to be healing, encouraging, and restorative when read in the right Spirit.

All the things you desire done God can and will do for you in His time and way.

Elijah was running from Jezebel and God delivered him gloriously.

If you could see as Elisha did at Dothan (2 Kings 6) you'd be strengthened and encouraged.

Nothing will suffice as a substitute for faith and it is yours for the asking.

But you may have to wash in the Jordan 7 times and suffer frustration as Naaman did when Elisha would not come to meet him (2 Kings 5).

You will do fine.

Praying for you, of course.

:)

 

[amigo de christo]

These words are not meant merely to remedy anxiety over temporal needs—God actually cares more about your health and ministry than you do:

Matthew 6:25-34 — Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

.

Also helpful is Job 38 and onward. While having the distinct tone of chastening and rebuke just for the sake of doing so, it is meant to be healing, encouraging, and restorative when read in the right Spirit.

All the things you desire done God can and will do for you in His time and way.

Elijah was running from Jezebel and God delivered him gloriously.

If you could see as Elisha did at Dothan (2 Kings 6) you'd be strengthened and encouraged.

Nothing will suffice as a substitute for faith and it is yours for the asking.

But you may have to wash in the Jordan 7 times and suffer frustration as Naaman did when Elisha would not come to meet him (2 Kings 5).

You will do fine.

Praying for you, of course.

:)

Faith in CHRIST JESUS , not in interfaith . we would do well to keep that in mind .

 

[Herbert]

Please, pray for me. For my own issues first. I struggle with many things. I'm too ashamed to admit. But God has planted me at church, since 2009, in my second church. He took me out out in 2017. I knew then I was spiritually dead. After three trials in the begging in 2019, He brought me back to my second church, Ebenezer. During the pandemic, He used me greatly, as the church was given funds to continue services online. Now, years later, at times, on Sunday, juggling between doing sound tech and live stream duties, the work of 2-3 people, I'm confused. Because God has increased my service. I lead the young adults bible study, and this past year, our prayer and fellowship time. Alternating on Fridays. As a volunteer, and not a formally trained teacher of the bible, I'm exhausted.

The reason being, I have come to know, while we waiting for a new senior pastor for the last 4 years, our elders, are not all full of faith. I feel I have been lead a stray. Yet, the dreams (two which have come true right away almost) say God wants me in this church.

So this is my real prayer. Me, lowly, a no one. To confront these elders, of this church, where thousands of people walk by, each week. If its Gods will, will He give me his words, to confront these elders and leaders? To show them, they lack in faith? In the position God has allowed them in?

I'm sorry for this long message. I've been sick for the last several days. I missed serving my time at my church this Sunday. I've only had two Sundays off, in the last year and while praying, these were brought to mind. I have pride in me, in asking for help. But I'm casting that off, asking help among you. I'm doing my best. And need guidance from God. And His word. Pray for that, please?

Will pray!

 

[Stumpmaster]

I'm doing my best. And need guidance from God. And His word. Pray for that, please?

Is there an update for us to be supportive with?

 

[Azim]

Is there an update for us to be supportive with?

Thank you everyone for your prayers, it is much appreciated.

Since my original post, I experienced health issues, including mental health. I ended up going on leave from my home church to serve, last month, notifying them that I was not doing well, and it was effecting my ability to serve, especially where I was in a leadership position. I'm in the process of healing, and have opened up to friends with things I have been suffering. I have found much support, and that I am not alone in my personal struggles. I had prayed to God to take me away from my church, while I was struggling, and that He would bring in others to replace me. The leadership has been very supportive for my time away. This is also helping me with trusting in God to provide for my home church, more.

I am hoping to return, whenever God allows it. In the meantime, I'm attending my parent's church, where I am able to attend more church events, and connect with others, especially in having my spirit renewed.

 

[quietthinker]

Thank you everyone for your prayers, it is much appreciated.

Since my original post, I experienced health issues, including mental health. I ended up going on leave from my home church to serve, last month, notifying them that I was not doing well, and it was effecting my ability to serve, especially where I was in a leadership position. I'm in the process of healing, and have opened up to friends with things I have been suffering. I have found much support, and that I am not alone in my personal struggles. I had prayed to God to take me away from my church, while I was struggling, and that He would bring in others to replace me. The leadership has been very supportive for my time away. This is also helping me with trusting in God to provide for my home church, more.

I am hoping to return, whenever God allows it. In the meantime, I'm attending my parent's church, where I am able to attend more church events, and connect with others, especially in having my spirit renewed.

Be strong Azim, be strong!

 

[amadeus]

Thank you everyone for your prayers, it is much appreciated.

Since my original post, I experienced health issues, including mental health. I ended up going on leave from my home church to serve, last month, notifying them that I was not doing well, and it was effecting my ability to serve, especially where I was in a leadership position. I'm in the process of healing, and have opened up to friends with things I have been suffering. I have found much support, and that I am not alone in my personal struggles. I had prayed to God to take me away from my church, while I was struggling, and that He would bring in others to replace me. The leadership has been very supportive for my time away. This is also helping me with trusting in God to provide for my home church, more.

I am hoping to return, whenever God allows it. In the meantime, I'm attending my parent's church, where I am able to attend more church events, and connect with others, especially in having my spirit renewed.

Sorry to have not seen your prayer request earlier. I've had issues of my own so I guess I miss alot. I am glad to hear things seem to be better for you. I am praying for you.

 

[Azim]

Hello,

I thought I would share an update. First, thank you all who have prayed. I decided to officially leave my church. I had been fighting God to stay there, and in doing so, was disobeying him. I returned back for the first time on Sunday to serve in my role as the audio and video tech. I was very eager to be there again. I originally thought I would also be multi-tasking, and running the live stream as well. I then found out one of the people I trained was scheduled for it, along with a lady I was training. At first, I kept telling myself just focus on running audio, and not micro manage the others. Then when the service started, everything that could go wrong with the live streaming, went wrong. The two people were stressed out, and had to get me to jump in and try to solve the issues, which would of been avoided, if they stayed with my training. The live stream cut out during our praise and worship time. Then, the camera batteries died, half way into the sermon. This last part would of been avoided if they simply allowed the camera batteries to be charged. I felt very stressed after the service, as I knew if I ran both things myself, the issues faced would not have been encountered. I also was blamed, even though these two people have had over a year's worth of training.

Later that day, I ended up needing to seek alcohol help with my stress. I then asked my mom to promise me I would not return to my church ever again. The next few days, the stress would not leave me, and I sought out alcohol instead of seeking God. I reached out to my friend, the worship leader, and told him how I felt, and that I could not return back. He replied back, and insisted I don't leave. I felt hopeless. On Wednesday, I became distraught, and something came over me, that I should be taken to the emergency and get admitted, due to dealing with suicidal thoughts. I had my dad drive me to the hospital. However, for some reason, I felt I had to make a stop first at my church, and release my church keys back, which I did.

Once at the emergency, they brought me into the inner waiting area very quickly. I sat there for close to two hours, and while waiting, I noticed a woman sitting next to me. I felt compelled to pray for her, and I asked if I could. She agreed. I then prayed for others I noticed, waiting to see be seen by doctors. Finally, I felt God tell me that I was not to be there anymore, as I would be taking up time from others who were suffering more than I. I left the emergency, before being seen. As I did, I grabbed my keys, and they were now lighter, and suddenly, I felt free and as if a great weight had been taken off my chest.

As I had planned to leave my church, I wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting to these issues. I visited my second church yesterday morning for their open prayer meeting. Several people prayed over me, and were given words from God. They came to agreement that God did not want me to be at my church any longer, and I was going against His will. This had to do with the spiritual state of the church, and the elders. They told me what God's plan was for me. They also shared that I go and talk to someone face to face and let them know, at my church, I would be officially leaving. I went later, and saw my friend, the worship leader. I confronted him and tried to be "bold" as I was told. He was aware of how I had been struggling with, and decided to let me go in peace. After that, I started to feel a closeness to God, I have missed. My desire for alcohol has also gotten better. I was in front of a liquor store earlier today, and did not even feel tempted.

On one hand, I do feel bad for leaving my church. However, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on what I made myself blind to. One thing God has shown, is many people at my now previous church, where not listening to His truth and wisdom, and they were not able to be in one accord. This is a lot to share, and there actually are even more details I could list, that would show, this decision is the rightful one according to God's will.

Thank you again.

 

[Jay Ross]

^^ Thank you for your testimony about your struggles. It was very encouraging for us all to become more dependent on God.

Shalom

 

[Debp]

Hello,

I thought I would share an update. First, thank you all who have prayed. I decided to officially leave my church. I had been fighting God to stay there, and in doing so, was disobeying him. I returned back for the first time on Sunday to serve in my role as the audio and video tech. I was very eager to be there again. I originally thought I would also be multi-tasking, and running the live stream as well. I then found out one of the people I trained was scheduled for it, along with a lady I was training. At first, I kept telling myself just focus on running audio, and not micro manage the others. Then when the service started, everything that could go wrong with the live streaming, went wrong. The two people were stressed out, and had to get me to jump in and try to solve the issues, which would of been avoided, if they stayed with my training. The live stream cut out during our praise and worship time. Then, the camera batteries died, half way into the sermon. This last part would of been avoided if they simply allowed the camera batteries to be charged. I felt very stressed after the service, as I knew if I ran both things myself, the issues faced would not have been encountered. I also was blamed, even though these two people have had over a year's worth of training.

Later that day, I ended up needing to seek alcohol help with my stress. I then asked my mom to promise me I would not return to my church ever again. The next few days, the stress would not leave me, and I sought out alcohol instead of seeking God. I reached out to my friend, the worship leader, and told him how I felt, and that I could not return back. He replied back, and insisted I don't leave. I felt hopeless. On Wednesday, I became distraught, and something came over me, that I should be taken to the emergency and get admitted, due to dealing with suicidal thoughts. I had my dad drive me to the hospital. However, for some reason, I felt I had to make a stop first at my church, and release my church keys back, which I did.

Once at the emergency, they brought me into the inner waiting area very quickly. I sat there for close to two hours, and while waiting, I noticed a woman sitting next to me. I felt compelled to pray for her, and I asked if I could. She agreed. I then prayed for others I noticed, waiting to see be seen by doctors. Finally, I felt God tell me that I was not to be there anymore, as I would be taking up time from others who were suffering more than I. I left the emergency, before being seen. As I did, I grabbed my keys, and they were now lighter, and suddenly, I felt free and as if a great weight had been taken off my chest.

As I had planned to leave my church, I wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting to these issues. I visited my second church yesterday morning for their open prayer meeting. Several people prayed over me, and were given words from God. They came to agreement that God did not want me to be at my church any longer, and I was going against His will. This had to do with the spiritual state of the church, and the elders. They told me what God's plan was for me. They also shared that I go and talk to someone face to face and let them know, at my church, I would be officially leaving. I went later, and saw my friend, the worship leader. I confronted him and tried to be "bold" as I was told. He was aware of how I had been struggling with, and decided to let me go in peace. After that, I started to feel a closeness to God, I have missed. My desire for alcohol has also gotten better. I was in front of a liquor store earlier today, and did not even feel tempted.

On one hand, I do feel bad for leaving my church. However, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on what I made myself blind to. One thing God has shown, is many people at my now previous church, where not listening to His truth and wisdom, and they were not able to be in one accord. This is a lot to share, and there actually are even more details I could list, that would show, this decision is the rightful one according to God's will.

Thank you again.

Always good to get an update, thanks.

 

[amigo de christo]

Sorry to have not seen your prayer request earlier. I've had issues of my own so I guess I miss alot. I am glad to hear things seem to be better for you. I am praying for you.

Onward in the LORD my friend . You have been missed . Let all that has breath praise and thank the Glorious Lord .

 

[amadeus]

Onward in the LORD my friend . You have been missed . Let all that has breath praise and thank the Glorious Lord .

Many thanks and blessings old friend.