Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?

[TLHKAJ]

I have decided that instead of picking a woman from society and trying to disconnect her from her friends as our relationship consolidates, I will seek a woman who has voluntarily given up on it and decided to live within her bubble. And why? Because this way, none of us lose! Doesn't it sound like a fair dea

We are in the world, but not of the world. Read the scriptures.

John 17:15-23
[15]I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
[16]They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
[17]Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
[18]As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.
[19]And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.
[20]Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
[21]That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.
[22]And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
[23]I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.

Jesus emphasized that we are in the world, but not of the world. We are the salt of the earth, the light of the world, a city set on a hill. He sent His disciples out into the world a sheep among wolves. We aren't meant to be hidden. We don't need to be if we have a strong foundation in Christ.

Matthew 10:16
[16]Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

Jesus sent His disciples into the world, and most of them were martyred for their testimony of Christ.

Matthew 5:13-16
[13]Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
[14]Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
[15]Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
[16]Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

How can you (or your future wife, if God wills) be witnesses of Christ and glorify your Father in heaven while you hide away from the world?

 

[TLHKAJ]

Except that she could lie about it, or change in the future.

You're living in fear. Anyone could lie ....even the shy, socially awkward introvert. You can lie and change too. You have a lot more problems than finding a wife. You have a shaky foundation.

 

[amadeus]

Except that she could lie about it, or change in the future.

So do not get married without the eyes to see about which Jesus speaks to us! With those eyes, you will be able to discern between the good and the evil fruit:

"Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." Matt 7:17-20

"I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see" Rev. 3:18

 

[TLHKAJ]

@ShyIntrovert You're not going to listen to anyone here who is sharing sound counsel from scripture. I think this thread is fruitless. Unless and until you choose to trust the Lord, you'll not get anywhere. You'll still be stuck in your fears.

1 John 4:18
[18]There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

The problem is that I have seen so many infidelities, divorces, illegitimate children, broken families and stolen lives in my around that I just can't trust any longer that things will go well for me. I have heard of cases of seemingly happy wives who suddenly left their husbands out of nothing and screwed them in a matter of DAYS. And honestly, if this happens to more confident guys, why wouldn't it happen to a more faint hearted guy like me?

 

[TLHKAJ]

The problem is that I have seen so many infidelities, divorces, illegitimate children, broken families and stolen lives in my around that I just can't trust any longer that things will go well for me. I have heard of cases of seemingly happy wives who suddenly left their husbands out of nothing and screwed them in a matter of DAYS. And honestly, if this happens to more confident guys, why wouldn't it happen to a more faint hearted guy like me?

Seek God.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

Seek God.

But I ask you will this change anything in the world?

Will people become better because of this?

 

[TLHKAJ]

Men fail in marriage as much or more than women do. The husband, as head of the wife, should lead his family well in the things of God. If he hasn't a foundation in Christ himself, he can't lead his wife and children. Notice, I said "lead" ....not control.

 

[TLHKAJ]

But I ask you will this change anything in the world?

Will people become better because of this?

If you don't believe Him, there's your problem.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

Men fail in marriage as much or more than women do. The husband, as head of the wife, should lead his family well in the things of God. If he hasn't a foundation in Christ himself, he can't lead his wife and children. Notice, I said "lead" ....not control.

But even if the husband has a foundation in Him it is very likely than the wife won't have it, which will not solve any problems.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

If you don't believe Him, there's your problem.

Not that I do not believe in Him, but I don't believe that He is a doormat who will provide for every of our needs at our petition either.

Sometimes the things we wished just don't happen.

 

[TLHKAJ]

But even if the husband has a foundation in Him it is very likely than the wife won't have it, which will not solve any problems.

You have a very low opinion of women. I don't know why you even want one. You're willfully blind. And I don't believe you have a foundation in Christ at all.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Not that I do not believe in Him, but I don't believe that He is a doormat who will provide for every of our needs at our petition either.

Sometimes the things we wished just don't happen.

Read the scripture!!

Philippians 4:19-20
[19]But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
[20]Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

How long have you been a Christian? Have you not read His Word??

Matthew 7:7-11
[7]Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
[8]For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
[9]Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
[10]Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
[11]If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Luke 11:9-13
[9]And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
[10]For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
[11]If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?
[12]Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?
[13]If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

You lack faith in God. Get into the Word of God. Your faith will grow. It's vital for your walk in Christ!

Romans 10:17
[17]So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Not that I do not believe in Him, but I don't believe that He is a doormat who will provide for every of our needs at our petition either.

Sometimes the things we wished just don't happen.

God knows what we need. It's just a matter of ... Do we really trust Him?

 

[ShyIntrovert]

You have a very low opinion of women. I don't know why you even want one. You're willfully blind. And I don't believe you have a foundation in Christ at all.

Sorry... I didn't want to make you upset.

Look, I have problems trusting or even processing your answers (and not only your answers) because of all the horrible things that I have seen where I live. It sometimes sounds like we live in two different worlds. Maybe I will have to actually consider moving away, like another one suggested. This place only brings me pain and bitterness.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Sorry... I didn't want to make you upset.

Look, I have problems trusting or even processing your answers (and not only your answers) because of all the horrible things that I have seen where I live. It sometimes sounds like we live in two different worlds. Maybe I will have to actually consider moving away, like another one suggested. This place only brings me pain and bitterness.

What country are you in? (Nevermind, I looked at your profile. You are in Scotland?)
And can you share some of the things you've seen that cause you not to trust people? I know you've mentioned failed marriages, but can you be more specific?

 

[Lambano]

We are in the world, but not of the world. Read the scriptures....

Excellent point, sister. I would add this:

"For God so loved the world that gave his only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Our vocation as Christians is to bring God's love to the world, not hide from it.

 

[Lambano]

Our vocation as Christians is to bring God's love to the world, not hide from it.

That said, there are those who are called to the contemplative life, a life of prayer and scripture reading and withdrawal from the world. If that is your calling, do what you're called to do. But if it is, you would be better off without the burden of a wife and family.

"Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given." (Matthew 19:11) If you cannot live the single life, you need to learn how to deal with people and society. You need to learn how to earn a living. You need to learn how to be a husband and a father.

 

[Lambano]

Now, as for your original question: I met my future wife at a church ministry. Since you have stated a low opinion of the brothers and sisters in your church, you may have to try other churches.

Here in the 'States, we have people who also can't deal with society. They withdraw to the rural areas, the mountains, or our western deserts. If your country has the equivalent of our prepper/survivalist websites and magazines and groups, you may be able to find a woman who also wants to drop out of society through them. However, she probably won't be shy and demure; she's likely to be a tough, rugged individualist woman.

 

[farouk]

Now, as for your original question: I met my future wife at a church ministry. Since you have stated a low opinion of the brothers and sisters in your church, you may have to try other churches.

Here in the 'States, we have people who also can't deal with society. They withdraw to the rural areas, the mountains, or our western deserts. If your country has the equivalent of our prepper/survivalist websites and magazines and groups, you may be able to find a woman who also wants to drop out of society through them. However, she probably won't be shy and demure; she's likely to be a tough rugged individualist woman.

The verisimilitude of this intervention is compelling.