Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?

[ShyIntrovert]

The problem is that this world is so cruel and sadistic that there are things I simply can't risk.

Marriage is a very serious decision that will completely change my own life, as I basically lose my individuality and give up myself to another person. I give another person access to my money, resources, properties, time, body, etc. I merge my own family with that of an outsider. So I can't just offer the keys to someone who could leech off everything from me and then walk away. A poor choice is a potential dynamite that could erase everything that I have in this life.

So I can't just accept any woman who seems good and friendly, because she can get mad one day, file for divorce, take all of my belongings and force me to pay alimony and support for children that may not even be mine. Bad women are known to mask their true faces and manipulate men they perceive as inferior. This is why I have to find a woman who is weaker than myself, who can't tear down my authority. Which doesn't mean a woman who will blindly obey everything I say, but one who is not strong enough to impose herself on me. Or in other words, a woman I can be the Chad Tyrone of, because this is the only way my authority will be respected.

Hope you understand.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Nobody has ever satisfactorily explained what wifely submission actually means. I know what many men think but is that the right version?

I believe we need to look at Christ and the Church to see an accurate picture. He loves the Church so much that He gave is life for her. That's a great love ....the greatest of all. And if we love Him, we will keep His commandments.

When we look at the scripture that says, "God is love" ... and also ... "We love Him because He first loved us" ...we can see and understand that when a marriage reflects God's order, a woman who has a loving husband will respond with loving him back. And that love can grow and grow. Her heart trusts in him, and his heart trusts in her.... because their love is strong.

A woman whose heart trusts in her husband's love for her has no problem submitting to his lead. He is not pressing her down, but placing value on her, because he loves her and would give his life for her.

And I want to add ....a woman whose heart trusts in her husband's love for her is able to freely voice her thoughts, her heart, and concerns ...even disagreements ...with him, because she trusts their love is strong enough to handle it. He values her femininity and she values his masculinity. He will listen to her because he is secure enough in his manhood to not be threatened by having a wife who is willing to speak. They consider one another and are able to work as a team, with his word as the final word (under the Lord Jesus).

 

[TLHKAJ]

I added an edit to my previous post....

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Oh, really? You talk about wives submitting and then quote a verse about servants and masters?

I knew there was at least one woman out there who would like that, Lol.
Here, read this...

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands..." 1 Peter 3:1​

In the same way as what?
Let's back up and see...

"Slaves, submit yourselves to your master with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh." 1 Peter 2:18

"To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps." 1 Peter 2:21
​

If that is not enough, he then makes the illustration of master/slave very clear here:

"...like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." 1 Peter 3:6
​

I suppose in our society most of us are only capable of hearing this in the context of chains and cracking whips, which it obviously is not. It's a matter of headship and order of authority. See, the problem with men treating their wives like queens (co-regents) is when they start acting like one. I believe in a man spoiling his wife but the relationship has to remain in the 'slave/master' context, as Peter speaks about that, or you end up with an entitled, spoiled baby who thinks they should be calling the shots and ridicules you as cruel and selfish if you don't let them.

See, I know all about this stuff because I myself am a slave and know my responsibilities as a slave and how I should act and respect my master, and the temptations to get demanding. I also know from having people under me that a wise master inquires of the wisdom of his slaves.

Okay, I'm done alienating 3/4's of all the women reading this. Going out to play in the snow.

 

[Pearl]

Marriage is a very serious decision that will completely change my own life, as I basically lose my individuality and give up myself to another person. I give another person access to my money, resources, properties, time, body, etc. I merge my own family with that of an outsider. So I can't just offer the keys to someone who could leech off everything from me and then walk away. A poor choice is a potential dynamite that could erase everything that I have in this life.

And remember too that the woman gives herself up to another person who will have 'rights to her body, money resources etc. I would suggest you stop looking for miss right and look instead to Jesus who demands more of you than a wife would.

So I can't just accept any woman who seems good and friendly, because she can get mad one day, file for divorce, take all of my belongings and force me to pay alimony and support for children that may not even be mine. Bad women are known to mask their true faces and manipulate men they perceive as inferior. This is why I have to find a woman who is weaker than myself, who can't tear down my authority. Which doesn't mean a woman who will blindly obey everything I say, but one who is not strong enough to impose herself on me. Or in other words, a woman I can be the Chad Tyrone of, because this is the only way my authority will be respected.

With your preconceived ideas of women you will get nowhere near finding the ONE. You talk about your 'authority' being respected. That sounds a tad sinister to me.

Perhaps you will have a better chance with English girls south of the border. So perhaps you need to move.

 

[TLHKAJ]

I knew there was at least one woman out there who would like that, Lol.
Here, read this...

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands..." 1 Peter 3:1​

In the same way as what?
Let's back up and see...

"Slaves, submit yourselves to your master with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh." 1 Peter 2:18

"To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps." 1 Peter 2:21
​

If that is not enough, he then makes the illustration of master/slave very clear here:

"...like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." 1 Peter 3:6
​

I suppose in our society most of us are only capable of hearing this in the context of chains and cracking whips, which it obviously is not. It's a matter of headship and order of authority. See, the problem with men treating their wives like queens (co-regents) is when they start acting like one. I believe in a man spoiling his wife but the relationship has to remain in the 'slave/master' context, as Peter speaks about that, or you end up with an entitled, spoiled baby who thinks they should be calling the shots and ridicules you as cruel and selfish if you don't let them.

See, I know all about this stuff because I myself am a slave and know my responsibilities as a slave and how I should act and respect my master, and the temptations to get demanding. I also know from having people under me that a wise master inquires of the wisdom of his slaves.

Okay, I'm done alienating 3/4's of all the women reading this. Going out to play in the snow.

I have no problem with it as long as it is placed within God's intended context. A man who loves his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it is not going to be beating his wife for talking or for accidentally burning the toast.

Edit... we also never read of Abraham being brutal or abusive toward Sarah. She was able to honor and respect him because he was trustworthy.

 

[Pearl]

A woman whose heart trusts in her husband's love for her has no problem submitting to his lead. He is not pressing her down, but placing value on her, because he loves her and would give his life for her.

And I want to add ....a woman whose heart trusts in her husband's love for her is able to freely voice her thoughts, her heart, and concerns ...even disagreements ...with him, because she trusts their love is strong enough to handle it. He values her femininity and she values his masculinity. ma will listen to her because he is secure enough in his manhood to not be threatened by having a wife who is willing to speak. They consider one another and are able to work as a team, with his word as the final word (under the Lord Jesus).

That is so true and after a rocky patch my marriage has been just like that. It's solid. There has never been a lack of trust on either side. My husband wants me to be me and want him to be who he is. We haven;t tried to change each other. We have both had the freedom to develop our own interests yet we are a team as my husband often says - "Pat and Ray, what a team."

He like that we can discuss things. He likes that I don't always see things his way. He says he can't understand men who treat their wives like possessions or servants and make demands.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

And remember too that the woman gives herself up to another person who will have 'rights to her body, money resources etc. I would suggest you stop looking for miss right and look instead to Jesus who demands more of you than a wife would.

But due to the trash divorce laws biased against men, a woman has a lot less to lose in a marriage than a man.

With your preconceived ideas of women you will get nowhere near finding the ONE. You talk about your 'authority' being respected. That sounds a tad sinister to me.

Exactly because that's how women work since the beginning of the times. If they sense that their man is weaker than they are, then they will lose their respect for them. This is the reason the vast majority of divorces occur these days.

Perhaps you will have a better chance with English girls south of the border. So perhaps you need to move.

What the? To England? No thanks.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Exactly because that's how women work since the beginning of the times. If they sense that their man is weaker than they are, then they will lose their respect for them. This is the reason the vast majority of divorces occur these days.

Honestly, any man with such poor views of women with a need to suppress and control them, is very insecure and should get some healing and guidance from the Lord before he gets a wife. Otherwise, things will go south quickly.

 

[Mink57]

OP, with your overall unrealistic obviously fearful attitudes about women and marriage, you may be better off not marrying at all.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Edit... we also never read of Abraham being brutal or abusive toward Sarah. She was able to honor and respect him because he was trustworthy.

But this defies what Peter just got done teaching. Whether or not your husband or wife is worthy of love, honor, and respect is not conditioned on if they have earned it. How we treat our spouse is not conditional. We are to love as God loves. God's love is not conditional.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

OP, with your overall unrealistic obviously fearful attitudes about women and marriage, you may be better off not marrying at all.

I think his fears are well founded. That is why I would tell him maybe it's better he not marry. But, realistically, he just needs to know what to expect in this day and age and pick a wife who understands the situation too. We're not living on Walton Mountain anymore.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

But, realistically, he just needs to know what to expect in this day and age. We're not living on Walton Mountain anymore.

Expect what? Divorce?

 

[Ferris Bueller]

What the? To England? No thanks.

Lol, I don't have to be from the United Kingdom to laugh at this.

 

[Cassandra]

But due to the trash divorce laws biased against men, a woman has a lot less to lose in a marriage than a man.

Exactly because that's how women work since the beginning of the times. If they sense that their man is weaker than they are, then they will lose their respect for them. This is the reason the vast majority of divorces occur these days.

What the? To England? No thanks.

Sounds like you have been talking to some guy who got divorced. Do you think and child support is undeserved? The woman has to do all of the financial things while the guy skates?And if there is alimony and many times there isn't, it is usually awarded to a woman who was a stay at home mom for years. It is to help her get on her feet.
You can tell by the way your posts are worded, since you said you are young, and could not have experienced it, I'm figuring some dude is complaining to you about how women "really" are.
If women are so bad, don't get one. Bingo! No alimony, no child support, no "theft of belongings" as you said before.

Here you go. You get food and lodging!!!! Five-Year Monastic Training | Plum Village

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Expect what? Divorce?

No, that many women think the husband does not have authority over the wife.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

You can tell by the way your posts are worded, since you said you are young, and could not have experienced it, I'm figuring some dude is complaining to you about how women "really" are.

I had noticed how informed he is at such a young age. All one has to do is be observant to see how things are these days. He's not wrong in how things are today. The internet makes it almost impossible to be in a faithful relationship these days. Victory over pregnancy and STD's, and easy access to immorality makes it so a man should only marry a Mennonite or Amish girl these days. I'm not just saying that for a laugh. It's bad out there.

 

[Mink57]

But due to the trash divorce laws biased against men, a woman has a lot less to lose in a marriage than a man.

Exactly because that's how women work since the beginning of the times. If they sense that their man is weaker than they are, then they will lose their respect for them. This is the reason the vast majority of divorces occur these days.

What the? To England? No thanks.

Men can show 'weakness' in many ways. They can act like doormats. Or, they can act like control freaks. Or, just plain jerks. Either way, a woman will lose respect for him, because he wasn't respectful to her and/or to others.

 

[Nancy]

Nobody has ever satisfactorily explained what wifely submission actually means. I know what many men think but is that the right version?

"HELPMEET" Not doormat. Amen.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

That is so true and after a rocky patch my marriage has been just like that. It's solid. There has never been a lack of trust on either side. My husband wants me to be me and want him to be who he is. We haven;t tried to change each other. We have both had the freedom to develop our own interests yet we are a team as my husband often says - "Pat and Ray, what a team."

He like that we can discuss things. He likes that I don't always see things his way. He says he can't understand men who treat their wives like possessions or servants and make demands.

Great! And I mean that. But when, at the end of the day, it comes down to deferring to his call on a certain matter and not yours because he's in authority are you all in?