Sound the Alarm: The Enemy Attacks The Marriage Bed

[Wynona]

I want to sound the alarm because I wondered why sex seems so desirable when dating and so hard to prioritize in marriage despite how much my husband and I love each other.

Stay tuned because Ive realized something: the enemy targets married couple's sex life. This thread is dedicated to raising awareness on the spiritual battleground we often don't understand. I speak from a wife's perspective, but others are free to share and I encourage that.

 

[Wynona]

If I were the enemy, I would target Christian households. And Id get to them through attacking their sex life first.

I'd convince the man that the wife withholds from pure disrespect and lack of love and desire. I'd convince the woman that sex is a chore to appease the man and not for her benefit. Tired? Stressed? Depressed? Great.

I would not let husband and wife see me as the fox in the garden exploiting a lack of spiritual defense---which is what married sex provides.

I wouldn't want couples to experience the relational and spiritual benefits of a good sex life. They might start finding it easier to pray together. A unified one flesh monster that would weaponize their prayers against me and my forces. We'd have to be on the run from that three fold chord.

 

[Wynona]

I believe the enemy wants us fighting each other in our marriages so he actively works against intimacy. Too much intimacy and trust under God, and he is up against a battle he cannot win.

 

[Wynona]

that three fold chord.

Ecclesiastes 4:12
King James Version
12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

I see marriage as a cord with the three strands being God, husband, and wife.

 

[Episkopos]

I believe the enemy wants us fighting each other in our marriages so he actively works against intimacy. Too much intimacy and trust under God, and he is up against a battle he cannot win.

This is such an important consideration...but one that is very hard to go public with. There is a difficulty in describing what a functioning Christian marriage looks like. So in our time many of the aspects could be seen as controversial since the foundation of all intimacy is spiritual in nature...not physical.

On earth as it is in heaven.

What is intimacy? A moment by moment connection between two persons where they become one in heart.

The physical union in a marriage is there as a help to intimacy. The union itself, while physically intimate, is not necessarily causing the kind of oneness that God intended in a marriage. Not all marriages use sex as a path to intimacy.

Not everyone is looking for intimacy., at least, not at the outset. Not everybody lives from the heart....and is looking to connect from the heart to another heart. But if a person is shown what intimacy is, or can be, then I think most or all would desire to have it.

Many people have a life that is actually against intimacy. The inner man is looking for intimacy...but the outer man is too often looking for power and advantage. Men who struggle to be such in the world may have difficulty with the "how" to be intimate. But women also who see themselves as merely being a functionary in life. The Martha vs the Mary syndrome.

And then there is the periodic feeding of the flesh (for power) in a relationship that comes with being uncrucified in the flesh. The flareups of self that take away from the purity of intimacy by dirtying the relationship. What is sin to the relationship with God could be described as such that gets in the way of a marriage intimacy.

Men might abuse the authority given to them by being head of the house. A woman might do small acts of rebellion to feel in control. And one rebellion fuels the other until there is a rift created that makes intimacy near impossible.

Being broken before the Lord...being broken in the marriage. That is what ensures intimacy. A man is broken towards the Lord. Christ is the Head of every man. A woman is broken towards her husband. The head of every wife is her husband.

 

[Wynona]

This is such an important consideration...but one that is very hard to go public with. There is a difficulty in describing what a functioning Christian marriage looks like. So in our time many of the aspects could be seen as controversial since the foundation of all intimacy is spiritual in nature...not physical.

Well I dont think were alone. I believe this plays out with every Christian marriage.No one has to raise their hand but pornography is wreaking havoc in men and women today. And we dont always know how to help one another.

 

[Pearl]

When my son got old enough to be left alone my husband and I used to go out on dates for a couple of hours and remember how we felt when we first met. When our son got too old to send to bed my husband and i used to go out to somewhere quiet and have sex in the car. Like in the song 'Blanket on the Ground'.

 

[Wynona]

When my son got old enough to be left alone my husband and I used to go out on dates for a couple of hours and remember how we felt when we first met. When our son got too old to send to bed my husband and i used to go out to somewhere quiet and have sex in the car. Like in the song 'Blanket on the Ground'.

That is so good and sounds lovely!!

 

[Wynona]

Even a good marriage, and perhaps especially can experience spiritual attacks in this area. I found it odd that we agreed on everything and both desired intimacy but still felt some sort of roadblock.

I see our walk with God become more effective when we overcome this roadblock. Like Episkopos said, its a spiritual blessing that can help us guard from temptation and give our marriages unity. It makes sense to me that even married couples with good intentions can be distracted and give in to the stresses of life while neglecting this.

 

[Pearl]

That is so good and sounds lovely!!

Both partners need to make a marriage work. As time goes by and as the children grow love develops, it evolves, it deepens and grows. Our love now in our eighties is like a pair of comfy slippers.