Forgiveness?

jessicaleks93 · Jan 27, 2025

So I've been really reading into forgiveness, its a big commandment from Jesus, its in the Lords pray too. I've been self analysing, and there are some people I suppose when I REALLY think about it, I do have resent for still, for wronging me, I just don't stew over it anymore. I'm not in contact with these family members, and I don't wish to reconcile and have a relationship with them as they're not sorry for the child and s*x abuse they inflicted on me (tried multiple times in the past to reconcile despite what they did). My question is, if I forgive them, do I need to contact them to tell them that or do I just forgive in my heart and tell Jesus and God that. I'm at a place where I'm ready to give it all to Jesus and forgive but don't know if I need to tell the people or just Jesus.

Pearl · Jan 27, 2025

Forgiveness is a form of love; the kind of love that loves our enemies.

Luke 6:27
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

Windmill Charge · Jan 27, 2025

jessicaleks93 said:
My question is, if I forgive them, do I need to contact them to tell them that or do I just forgive in my heart and tell Jesus and God that. I'm at a place where I'm ready to give it all to Jesus and forgive but don't know if I need to tell the people or just Jesus.

Forgiveness in the bible ia Always preceded by repentance.
'If my people who are called by my name will turn from their wicked ways, humble themselves and pray.
Then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their land.

or luke 17:3 if someone offends you, rebuke them, if they repent forgive them.

All you need to do is tell God about what happened, how it affect you, feelings etc and ask God to deal with them and your feelings etc.
We are told to pray for the good of those who hate us, so pray for them.

jessicaleks93 · Jan 27, 2025

Windmill Charge said:
Forgiveness in the bible ia Always preceded by repentance.
'If my people who are called by my name will turn from their wicked ways, humble themselves and pray.
Then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their land.

or luke 17:3 if someone offends you, rebuke them, if they repent forgive them.

All you need to do is tell God about what happened, how it affect you, feelings etc and ask God to deal with them and your feelings etc.
We are told to pray for the good of those who hate us, so pray for them.

Thank you

Simonides · Jan 27, 2025

Simonides · Jan 27, 2025

Windmill Charge · Jan 29, 2025

Simonides said:
It works both ways Windmill.

When my mother passed away, I took a good look at myself and my feelings towards her, realized I had to forgive and let it all go.

In the following weeks, God gave me the gift of a repentant heart. In less than two months He had given me the gift of salvation, a new heart, and a new life.

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Do a study on God's forgiveness in the bible. You will find it is always preceeded by repentance.
Most of the new Testament assumes that there has been repentance and then we Must forgive.

If someone is unable to repent because they have died, one can as you did forgive or simple do as Jesus did om the cross and hand the matter over to God.

Forgiveness is never easy or simple, we need God's grace far too often.

quietthinker · Jan 30, 2025

Choosing to live in a space of forgiveness and asking God for the strength to do so shifts resentments and when opportunity arises, it will reveal your attitude towards them.
Your forgiveness is not contingent on them asking for it.
Healing the relationship between both of you will require them to come clean about events that created the damage. That is in their court.
If they come clean, you have a win. If they don't, there remains a rift.

Pearl · Jan 30, 2025

I think that forgiveness must surely be the greatest act of love that there is. Jesus showed his love for the men that crucified him and the crowd that cheered them on by asking his Father to forgive them. He himself is able to forgive the most horrendous of sins.

For us to forgive is to imitate Jesus our Lord. In cases like the one you have given, it isn’t easy, but is it ever easy to forgive? That’s not the point though is it? The point is that we obey. Jesus tells us, “But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:15

All we can do is to ask for God’s grace and love to fill our hearts and then make forgiveness something we actively choose to do rather than waiting until we feel like forgiving.

And we should always remember that unforgiveness harms us much more than the person we refuse to forgive.

Windmill Charge · Jan 30, 2025

Pearl said:
I think that forgiveness must surely be the greatest act of love that there is. Jesus showed his love for the men that crucified him and the crowd that cheered them on by asking his Father to forgive them. He himself is able to forgive the most horrendous of sins.

For us to forgive is to imitate Jesus our Lord. In cases like the one you have given, it isn’t easy, but is it ever easy to forgive? That’s not the point though is it? The point is that we obey. Jesus tells us, “But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:15
All we can do is to ask for God’s grace and love to fill our hearts and then make forgiveness something we actively choose to do rather than waiting until we feel like forgiving.
And we should always remember that unforgiveness harms us much more than the person we refuse to forgive.

Being pedantic. Jesus did not forgive his crucified, he did what we should do for those who will not repent of harming us.
Pray about them, asking God to deal with them and with our feelings about it.

mailmandan · Jan 30, 2025

Pearl said:
Forgiveness is a form of love; the kind of love that loves our enemies.

Luke 6:27
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

Amen! Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

TLHKAJ · Jan 30, 2025

Windmill Charge said:
Being pedantic. Jesus did not forgive his crucified, he did what we should do for those who will not repent of harming us.
Pray about them, asking God to deal with them and with our feelings about it.

Jesus is one with the Father. He absolutely forgave. No one could pray that who hasn't themselves forgiven.

quietthinker · Jan 30, 2025

The concealment and the misrepresentation of the character of God is what the enemy attempts to achieve. The enemy alarmingly does this through those who mistakenly claim to be followers of God. This has been standard practice throughout history. The books of Ezekiel and Revelation are testimony to this.

It matters not whether God's so called followers are in ancient times or modern times. The principle of misrepresentation follows that of their Father the Devil who before the Creation of the World indulged in this practice.

Windmill Charge · Jan 31, 2025

TLHKAJ said:
Jesus is one with the Father. He absolutely forgave. No one could pray that who hasn't themselves forgiven.

His words are ,literally " Father forgive them."
He is not saying I forgive but is passing that over to his Father.
While Jesus is one with the Father, he is not God the Father, they are separate beings.

Praying to God, asking that he forg8ves someone indicates 5hat 5he prayer has not forgiven the offender.

TLHKAJ · Jan 31, 2025

Windmill Charge said:
His words are ,literally " Father forgive them."
He is not saying I forgive but is passing that over to his Father.

Jesus only spoke what He heard from the Father.
Again....

John 12:49-50
[49]For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak.
[50]And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.

Windmill Charge · Jan 31, 2025

TLHKAJ said:
Jesus only spoke what He heard from the Father.
Again....

John 12:49-50
[49]For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak.
[50]And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.

Which indicates they are not one being and confirms that Jexus is com uncaring with the Father ma,ING a request.

Wrangler · Jan 31, 2025

jessicaleks93 said:
My question is, if I forgive them, do I need to contact them to tell them that or do I just forgive in my heart and tell Jesus and God that. I'm at a place where I'm ready to give it all to Jesus and forgive but don't know if I need to tell the people or just Jesus.

I'm a numbers guy. Here are the numbers:

It takes 1 to forgive.
It takes 2 to reconcile.

You need not tell anyone your forgave them. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Otherwise, you are like one who takes poison, expecting the other person to die.

Our society has become soft, putting mercy ahead of justice. Reconciliation only happens after atonement, which has various steps:

Someone must point out the wrong
Acknowledgement of wrong
Confess the fault; first to (God), then to those offended
Repentance; a feeling of remorse or contrition or shame for the past conduct which was wrong and sinful
Atonement; meaning to make amends and reparations for the wrong
Forgiveness by the offended party; to cease to feel offense and resentment against another for the harm done
Reconciliation and restoration; meaning to become friendly and peaceable again
Perfect union with (God) and with each other

Most people lack the humility to acknowledge they were ever wrong.

TLHKAJ · Jan 31, 2025

Windmill Charge said:
Which indicates they are not one being and confirms that Jexus is com uncaring with the Father ma,ING a request.

I disagree with your conclusion.

Lizbeth · Jan 31, 2025

Wrangler said:
I'm a numbers guy. Here are the numbers:

It takes 1 to forgive.

It takes 2 to reconcile.

You need not tell anyone your forgave them. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Otherwise, you are like one who takes poison, expecting the other person to die.

Our society has become soft, putting mercy ahead of justice. Reconciliation only happens after atonement, which has various steps:

Someone must point out the wrong

Acknowledgement of wrong

Confess the fault; first to (God), then to those offended

Repentance; a feeling of remorse or contrition or shame for the past conduct which was wrong and sinful

Atonement; meaning to make amends and reparations for the wrong

Forgiveness by the offended party; to cease to feel offense and resentment against another for the harm done

Reconciliation and restoration; meaning to become friendly and peaceable again

Perfect union with (God) and with each other

Most people lack the humility to acknowledge they were ever wrong.

I agree about the difference between forgiving and reconciling. Reconciling requires the acknowledgement of wrongdoing on part of the offender and them taking responsibility for it. But forgiveness is something we can do without involving those who wronged us....and to my understanding I think that is a way of letting go of judgment/condemnation and leaving it in God's hands....to loose the wrongdoer from their debt to us.

As far as justice goes, I agree that justice is necessary too, but I believe it is not given to the child of God to mete out (though sometimes a form of discipline might be needful and appropriate.....rebuke, withdrawal of contact for a time, etc.) The Lord has given the responsibility of meting out justice to governments/authorities of this world as per Rom 13, and ultimately to Himself.....not to us, not to the church collectively or individually. Our job as Christians is to be merciful as Jesus was and keep the door open for the possibility of reconciliation until the end.

Wrangler · Jan 31, 2025

Lizbeth said:
As far as justice goes, I agree that justice is necessary too, but I believe it is not given to the child of God to mete out (though sometimes a form of discipline might be needful and appropriate.....rebuke, withdrawal of contact for a time, etc.)

Rather, justice is stepped up by the wrong doer. For instance, I break our living room window. It costs $500 to fix. Justice is me taking the initiative to pay for it.

Forgiveness?

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All we can do is to ask for God’s grace and love to fill our hearts and then make forgiveness something we actively choose to do rather than waiting until we feel like forgiving.​

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All we can do is to ask for God’s grace and love to fill our hearts and then make forgiveness something we actively choose to do rather than waiting until we feel like forgiving.​

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All we can do is to ask for God’s grace and love to fill our hearts and then make forgiveness something we actively choose to do rather than waiting until we feel like forgiving.

All we can do is to ask for God’s grace and love to fill our hearts and then make forgiveness something we actively choose to do rather than waiting until we feel like forgiving.