yes, but they may also highlight importance as they stem from somewhere. our emotions are always valid
since i had my last birthday, which i promised to god i would only reach in case i was given a woman worth keeping around, things have been going downhill, almost as if she had a best-before date, which was exactly before that birthday. we moved a lot closer on that exact day, and she had absolutely no time for me on my birthday, naturally an argument ensued. she is very beautiful, top to bottom- but i decided to give her my last chance at relationship because of her personality. i bombarded her with serious questions and she seemed to share a brilliant traditional mindset. she was a victim of narcissistic abuse, and it seems whatever bit her stuck around. she has 2 personalities and when the second one comes out im hurt for days afterwards and shes apologetic. but what is an apology if it bears no fruit? there have been many times where i would have broken up if it had been any other relationship, but this time i decided it will be my last relationship, and we have settled many disagreements because of my dedication.
therapy is a good idea, but i think rather she needs an exorcism, she has dabbled in spirituality and practiced lots of yoga. shes an extremely kind person, a true people pleaser- but it seems that she prefers to please third parties over her own fiancé. shes too anxious to have boundaries with other people. but what is loyalty if she can neglect her own man for someone she isnt related to even?
im trying to remain faithful but this world is just so very absurd and evil at times. i pray. i meditate. i question every move i make to make sure its not an offense to the lord.
she claims shes doing her best, thats her words but she wont even involve me in how she plots her days, even if it means she will be completely cut off from me the whole day. i stopped trusting her promises some time ago but it still disappoints me when she has an excuse. i thought at one point she had another man, but she really dont. i let it pass, because i dont wanna break this one thing out of suspicion. i hate this guessing game of intention, i know that shes a good person deep down but im also aware she has sadistic tendencies.